#workoutstruggles

Me: Runs for 2 minutes 🏃‍♂️💨 My heart: "If you don’t stop, I will." 💔😂 Fitness is hard, okay?

I thought u were starting ur diet today partner!! #whathappen #workoutmotivation #shaderoom #workoutstruggles #sayless #fatmacentertainment #rdhinvestments #betdat (at LA Fitness COLLIERVILLE) https://www.instagram.com/p/B7Y2h_7l4EK/?igshid=fukpb4ukxbow

Bad habits are like a comfortable bed - easy to get into, and difficult to get out of! #workoutstruggles #sayless #FatmacEntertainment #rdhinvestments (at Planet Fitness) https://www.instagram.com/p/B7BgYQFl1uB/?igshid=15mauhd6gpt16

One spin at a time #workoutstruggles #spinning #lifechanger #planetfitness #sayless #dreamon #fatmacentertainment (at Planet Fitness) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzPQIA1lL56/?igshid=1t5z1osr1yudz

Now, when it comes to working out I have always enjoyed it. I don’t dread the thought of having to go and work out or how tough it may be. No, I love it, I feel strong and powerful and excited to see what I am able to accomplish and push myself to next. See, where my problem lies is the gym itself or rather yet, the people who may see me and be around me while I complete my workouts.  My struggles with the gym is not a physical one but rather yet a mental struggle. My body is not what it used to be and it is not that I hate my body I have worked really hard to be neutral with my body. I do not love it but I do not hate it. Some days are further on one end of this spectrum than the other however. Yet, even when I had what looking back I would call an amazing body, I was still self conscious at the gym.  I never felt good enough or like I knew enough to be there. I would look at the other people and think “wow, they must know what they are doing their moves are perfect, I should try those moves- but not when they are here then they will notice me copying them.” This ruminating has never stopped in the 10 years I have been going to the gym. I always feel inferior to the workouts of other people. I feel as though if someone is in front of the mats when it’s time for me to do my floor exercises I will just leave because I would hate to interrupt them or their routine. But what makes their workout more important than mine? Why am I putting these strangers who I know nothing about above myself. What makes me not good enough? Why am I feeling like this is a competition when in no other shape or form has it been brought forth as one? Another BIG issue is how I feel about my appearance. Getting to the gym is a struggle every single day. Again, not because I hate working out but because some days I hate myself. If I get ready to go to the gym I know now to avoid mirrors until I am there because if I look in the mirror before going to the gym then I will pick myself apart until I convince myself that I am not worthy to go, that no one wants to see someone on the treadmill whose boobs are bouncing and that no one wants to see my chubby upper arms. And usually how this ends is me in tears under my covers still in my gym clothes until I finally fall asleep to escape the world.  Really I am writing my Gym Journey Series because I want to get past this and through this and I feel like my blogging my gym activities through documenting my accomplishments as well as my struggles I may be able to find some sort of solace in all of this. Maybe this will strike accord with someone reading this and maybe someone has some advice on this issue they could share.  I hope to keep at this at least weekly so stay tuned.