I went for a job interview today...
And the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”
“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

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I went for a job interview today...
And the manager said, “We’re looking for someone who is responsible.”
“Well, I’m your man.” I replied, “In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”

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I've worked at a post office now for about 4 weeks.. And I think I might get fired.. Not because I'm bad at it but because I make puns about going postal on the daily.. And I don't think they appreciate it as much as I do.
Adulting has been kicking my assets!
Office Conversations...
We're building a website for a client. It is a dental website.
The following is an actual conversation:
My Boss: Hey, can you do something about that empty space at the bottom of the right column. That cavity is really bothering me.
Me: Sure, I'll see if I can't do something to make it easier to swallow.
My Boss: Just try to make it more toothsome.
Me: I'll take a bite at it, see what I can't do.
Everyone else in the office: WILL YOU TWO STOP.

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Once upun a pizza place...
My coworkers and I were talking about gyms when
Coworker: "Why are these boxes so ripped?
Me: "I guess they're working out for you."
Today at work while I was handing change out the window this guy dropped two dimes and so I looked him dead in the eye and said “well maybe it’s time for a paradigm shift"