#wooooooaaah

So if I'm actually making an effort to be liked by you, you need to know that I really care about you/look up to you/admire you/etc. Basically, it's a big deal if I care about your opinion of me enough to actively try to make it a good one.  And I'm not trying to blame anything on anyone, but if you are one of those people and you don't like me for whatever reason, it really, really hurts. And then I start wondering what's wrong with me and I get disgustingly self-conscious about every little thing I do around you, right down to how I stand or sit or talk. I might come right to the edge of becoming an entirely different person for you, but I will never do that, because I can't.