Do you ever think about how Pangi saying ''I shouldn't have made friends with everyone'' cuts even deeper when, just the day before, he was telling Water the exact opposite?
Water came to him as someone who has only had two real friends in her life and opened up to Pangi about her fear of making new ones. She seemed terrified of being left behind again, of getting attached only to lose people once more. And it was Pangi who told her that while losing people hurts, it's worth it. That there's value in remembering the past, but not dwelling in it. That the people who have stayed, the new friends who have come into his life, are proof that connection is still worth seeking. He was so full of hope, trifled with loss yet full of love
But then comes his conversation with Ace. And we see a different Pangi. One who's raw and bleeding, saying he never should've gotten attached. That it would've been better if he kept to himself, never made more friends, never allowed himself to care. Because now there is so much love in his heart and it's pouring out in the form of protection and fierce care. And the crushing realization that he can't protect everyone, can't always make the people he loves happy and it's tearing him apart. He starts to believe he's the problem
He gives and gives in the form or love or protection or loyalty or care or affection. He has so much love to give in his heart and when he in unable to transform that into protection, it turns into grief that fests inwards and begins clawing at his heart and he starts blaming himself for all he feels, for caring.
Something so beautiful about a deemed warrior from a land of violence yet he loves with his whole heart, carries his emotions openly on his sleeve yet wields them like a blade assisting him. His heart is so full of love yet when he is unable to pour them out in a way he deems apt, he's blaming his own seams for tearing apart.
