#without anyone

I don’t feel lonely right now And honestly I’ve felt lonely for years I can’t remember the last time I felt right

But this day, this week It has felt good Work still sucks family still isn’t supportive and bills are weighing me down But I feel comfortable Safe

It might not seem like a lot but only a little while ago I felt like I was drowning Maybe this isn’t permanent This peace But I’ll cherish this moment Even though  I didn’t stick to my diet today Or get everything done today my house is still a absolute mess and I don’t have a netflix show too watch

im so anxious about my semester abroad. what if i get there and im just as alone? i get there and i have zero friends, no one to do things with. i have to spend all my time there alone and lie to my family that yeah! i got plenty of great friends here! im just, really scared that im not going to have changed enough or be in touch with myself enough that i’ll be able to make friends and take advantage of my time there and i’ll end up in my dorm alone every weekend because i have nothing else. the thought of that kinda makes me want to cry. im genuinely so scared that this is going to happen. i don’t get how you make friends easily. i really don’t. i don’t get it. i really struggle with it nowadays. i just want to have a fun semester abroad! running around cities with my friends, dinners downtown, movie nights and game nights. i just. i feel so scared its not gonna happen because i want it but things don’t work for me like that usually.