#witch journalling

TW/CW under the read more: newborn baby birds and mating horseshoe crabs (might be yucky for some to look at)

i was looking at the flame of this delicious smelling candle i'd just lit and i noticed the way it hung onto the wick like a little globule of water. and i thought. that's interesting. fire acts kind of like water. and it... relies on air...

my most comfortable and familiar elements are water and air!!

so this candle has 3 wicks (love it) and the flame on one of them was holding very low and close to the wick, and taking my newfound understanding of what energies fire carries with it i! was able to focus on the flame and will it to stand up in a peak!! aaaa!!!! 🎉🙌✨

Excerpt from “Be A Goddess! A Guide to Celtic Spells and Wisdom for Self-Healing, Prosperity and Great Sex,” Francesa de Grandis.

“There are many vile things in life, and in nature, but that’s different from saying that life and nature are inherently vile. Someone once said (was it me?) that the latter belief implies that the only solution is nuclear destruction, which often seems the logical conclusion of transcendence.”

Additional thoughts under the read more:

A year and a half-ish ago I saw someone's photo scrolling the media and heard (as well as felt, and smelled) Venus speak to me: "That's your husband."

I forgot about it for a time, but there was a point a few months ago where I couldn't any longer. Because of who it was, I experienced a lot of crazy stuff (synchronities, dreaming of his memories). I also experienced several unrelated traumatic events and for months this whole situation filled me with doubt and complete disconnection from my Goddess, as well as anxiety, dread and despair.

I eventually crashed out completely. I was faced with so many fears and horrible feelings that I had to work through due to this, it dug up a lot of past traumas and I experienced PTSD flashbacks for months as well as anhedonia, spiritual apathy and catatonic depression. I wondered if Venus was angry with me, I wondered, "is this how Psyche felt when she was told that the husband assigned to her was a horrible monster?"

I eventually came to peace with it. (Mostly, things are still hard but I'm sure I will be ok.) My mental health is a lot better now, as I have discovered a lot about myself due to all of this and met many wonderful people. Including another Venus devotee who lives the next city over from me, and I consider a very good friend of mine now- I never would have met her if not for this, and I would go through it all again if not just for that. Honestly, part of me wonders if the point of all of this suffering was so I would be led to make a Tumblr account again lol.

I had collected a few really nice seashells a few weeks ago that I had intended to craft with, but I waited too long to clean some of them and couldn’t fully get the stink off. Rather than just tossing them, I decided to save them as offerings to the Morrigan. (They were beautiful shells and I figured she’d enjoy the death stench on them.)

So, yesterday, I went out and wasn’t sure where to put them, but then I saw a crow in front of me fly to a tree by a stream I like to vibe at, and sit on a branch. I figured that was as good a sign as any.

I left my offerings at the base of the tree, and was distracted by a deer that was hanging out by the stream. It ran away when it saw me, and then I felt something hit my shoulder?? I looked around and realized it came from above; a really big stick had fallen from the tree, and was dangling from the branches.