#devotional acts

"Wisdom" - a poetry piece

"Am I broken for being asexual?" "Am I ill for being aromantic?" "Am I "mental" for being both?" "Am I in the wrong for trying to fit in?" "Am I in the right for thinking I can be fixed?" "Am I truly nowhere and somewhere, both and once?" "Am I able to love the way people expect me to love?"

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. This is my first time being alive. This is my first time stepping onto unknown territory. This is my first time being me. I'm still figuring myself out, I'm still filled with childlike wonder. I'm still learning about the ever changing world around mem the sky, sea, and ground being my guiding hands with gentle grasps.

The sky was ever so beautiful, the sea caressing my feet with a gentle breeze. The ground is a stepping stone for everyone's growth. Nature and man made clashing into my daily life, a constant battle for land and sea. But the only thing being the apple of my eye is a fraction that's so near yet so far, in arms reach, yet I only catch a fraction of the wisdom I crave.

I am surrounded by those I believe in, I am surrounded by those I put my faith in, and I am surrounded by those in my arms reach. Close, yet far—

–But I still don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't have the wisdom to know if I'm broken, I don't have the knowledge to know if I am ill. I don't have a clue if I'm mental, I certainly don't know if I'm in the wrong or right, and I crave to know if I'm truly somewhere or I am actually nowhere.

I search day and night for a fraction of wisdom, with the knowledge that it must be somewhere. Is it here? Is it there? I don't seem to see it, prehaps one day I'll see it, prehaps the fraction I'm looking for will come by the hands of the lady of wisdom, lady of reason, lady of courage.

Prehaps the fraction I'm looking for will be a glimpse, a small vision given me by the divine lady of reason and courage, ever so insightful, lady of crafts, lady of strategic battle. Her reason, her wisdom being ever so inspiring in my pair of mortal eyes. Prehaps one day she'll stand by me and remind me that I'm not broken, that I'm not ill or mental, that I'm not in the wrong or right, that I'm somewhere and it's here—

She'll remind me that it's my first time around, my first time stepping onto unknown territory, that love isn't solely romantic or sexual, and that it comes in all shapes and sizes. That the sky, sea, and ground is guiding me like she is. That her wisdom is ever gentle like a melody at the dead of night.

Hermes

Apollo