#wisp writes

"Hey man... Do you think Illuso's acting a little weird?" I suddenly asked. 

"Like, you see him, right? His eyes were bigger than the Sinistar! Last night, with that stolen cabinet! Big, bloodshot, wide-eyed and crazed eyes. And when I asked him if something was wrong with 'em, he got all weird that I was looking at him. Uh..." I don't know what's up with him, the guys do.

"And jittery, yeah? Wait, he's always like that."

"More then usual, man-"

"He'll probably be back to parading his own ego around by tomorrow, I wouldn't worry about 'em like that, Herr Blücher." 

"C'mon, Gelato... He reeks of despair~ You notice he's getting snappier too. I'm sure the guys've already noticed... but he trusts you guys more then he trusts me. I'm just pointing it out to you 'cause you 9 should probably nip in in the-" Speak of the devil. Nero was behind us. 

"Oh, hi Nero!" I happily tried to greet him. The rest of the guys followed in, including the man of the hour himself. Wow, he looks even more like shit. What even happened to him?! He didn't even look up, just quietly followed the rest with his now typical wide-eyed stare to nothing, staring down to his legs and to the floor. 

"I'll be blunt," Nero sighed, then pointed to Illuso. "You obviously have a problem we're not aware of, so we're going to have to address that before you get any worse." 

He didn't even react, he's just fidgeting, looking like he's seen a ghost, or a particular doctor's murders, shrinking into himself. I've seen scared Illuso before, but this despair is the same as before, wait, no, it's a bit different in texture... as if he were angered and anxious at the same time. I was lounging on Pesci's lap this time, so I discreetly had Arles check on him. It's very soft here~

Arles Zorro, go to Illuso. "Yoo-hoo... Illuso? Hey hey hey." I tried calling him. This time, he listened. Drawing in a shaky breath, he looked to Nero, not making eye contact.

"What?" His voice was raspy, very raspy. Even more so then usual...

"A problem? Don't even think about it. You think I, Illuso, have problems?"

"Yes." We all said in unison. He flinched as we all said that. Yes, you're screwed~ He rarely even referred to himself like that if he wasn't flustered. 

Kira-chins and Ro-chan taught me how to scan others.  

"Don't play dumb, man. Just what the hell is up with you? You lost to Gelato again in that game or somethin'?" Formaggio was basically the only one saying what was on all our minds right now. Wait, no it's not. It's not that, but...

"If that were true..." "Those two would be yelling at each other, wrestling, while she records this shit, laughing like a psycho." I would've said my piece, but Ghiaccio cut me off. 

"That was one time!" 

We would've friendly-argued about this, but Prosciutto suddenly spoke up, clearly annoyed with his friend's dodginess. 

"Hold it right there. Where the hell do you think you're going?" He was always bad at hiding any bit of concern for us, even when he's snarling it all out. 

"I'm not about to waste my time in a meeting over stupid shit, if this is what you called me out for." 

"You're shaking." Melo' points out. Like he was caught in a blizzard. 

"Besides... You can't be shaken up about something from yesterday, I beat you on Saturday!" Gelato, do NOT start with that again. Although, he's got a point... Tell me this, how bad are you at Pokemon to lose at Celadon at the Gym Castle? Gelato practically beat the whole thing in a day! 

"No one asked you, you fucking midget!"

"Call me that again and I'll make a lady out of you!" He was now flashing his knife, not even bothering to get up from his husband's lap. 

"Both of you, shut up!" Nero and I both complain to those two. 

"Easy, love." Sorbet, would you kindly deal with your man???

"This was about what happened on Sunday, is that it?! Y'know what? Fuck you, and fuck this." Illuso's reaching into his chest now. Hmm... Illuso is looking paler then ever now. Wait, chest...? The pocket mirror! The compact he keeps in his tits! 

"PAULLA!" On it, Pros! I practically dived off of Pesci's lap to swipe it from him, and to restrain him. 

"Urgh... GET OFF ME!" He groaned. Pesci helped restrain him, and even then, it was too late. I had it in my hands. Looks quite gothic, and expensive! 

"No! Let go of me!" He looked more nervous and hurt when he was restrained by our daikon over there then when I yanked his pocket mirror from 'em. But he just went back to irritation and rage. 

Melone clicked his tongue, about to head over to check on the captive ojou. "Don't do this to me, please!"  

Out of boredom, I checked to see what's inside. It's the usual reverse hideout... Hey, I think I see Man in the Mirror in there. He's moving really quickly across the room, in an odd veritable panic. He's never like this... He's always like Illuso's more boisterous other half, just as bigheaded and and flashy. Does he miss his host? Or... does Illuso miss his Stand? No, both halves of the same soul are in a mad panic, for whatever reason. Smooth Criminal seemed to be on the other side, but Zorro hadn't been off Illuso since she got on him. He's ignoring her no matter what she tries to do to get his attention. Smooth Criminal isn't even there to him. Hey...

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"Don't do this to me, please!" You practically begged the others, struggling to get back up.  Just your luck. Paulla doesn't even know your problem. But she could snuff it out in due time, and join the rest all the same. You wanted to cry, to sleep, but you couldn't. Not like this.

"🎵Already lost my keys to the door once shut Only had one wish Now it's never gonna come true~🎵" She sang as she took it from you, mocking you.

"You don't know what they want! You don't know what you're doing! Paulla, don't do this to me! Please!" She kept playing with the mirror she took from you and admired it in an almost mocking manner, again, as if she were saying to you "Don't make me, then". 

Melone trudges over to you, almost deliberate in his pace, and blast a flashlight in your eyes. "Ack!" You hissed in an almost vampire-like fashion. You tried to rub your eyes, but Pesci practically had your arms in a death grip. They know. She'll know. They all fucking know. 

"Exactly as I feared. You've been depriving yourself of sleep since last Sunday, if my suspicion is correct." He sighed. 

The others don't speak, though you're sure one cleared his throat. 

Formaggio breaks out laughing, obvious to anyone that he's faking. You're dreading his words, insisting that what you're doing is certainly not a big deal. 

"You still thinking about that? You're losing your shit over nothing...! It's... Wednesday, right?"

"You're a day late. Ooo...~ You're still at it? Oh, man. What even happened that time?" Paulla just had to ask. She couldn't even bother hiding her curiosity over some stupid shit the others did. 

"So on Sunday night-"

"Do NOT tell her about some fucking shit she doesn't need to know!" You tried to fight back. Nothing more than empty words in your current state, as she'd say.

"While we were discussing matters relating to extraneous sleeping arrangements-"

"Don't." 

"I realized that Illuso hadn't actually slept in the real world, so I said-"

"Prosciutto." 

"Can you let me fucking finish? ...He should at first get used to doing such before anyone thinks of sleeping with everyone, which as you could tell-"

"Is going so well." Shut the fuck up, Ghia. 

She pauses for a second, starting at Prosciutto, then at Ghiaccio, then to the others briefly, the back to you. Her eyes about as big as yours, peering into the ruins of your soul.

"So that's why you read as scared." She goes back to her old smiling self, infuriating you even more. But there isn't really much that you could do now. 

"You know what? I could use a coffee. Yeah, I'll go get a coffee-" You scurry for the kitchen, yelping as you ripped away from Pesci's hold. But once you were almost there, you were suddenly hit with a radiating headache. You wanted to cringe, to complain, to cry, but you couldn't. Never let them win...

Some of the others head over to you, either out of "concern" or curiosity. No, don't be stupid. You're being a stubborn ass right now. The only one concerned would be Pesci, but it's not just him. Defeated, you sulked back to your seat with the others in tow, not bearing to look at them. Immediately after, all you could hear was Paulla chatting with Gelato about video games or some other frivolous shit. 

So, now Paulla knows what your problem is. Do you know what this means? They're all going to look at you. They're all going to laugh at you. These were the people you entered a relationship with, Paulla excluded? These were the people you loved? They don't even respect you. They didn't respect you when they learned you're not comfortable sleeping outside the mirror world, what did they expect? Please, God, you pleaded to yourself, to anyone that may hear, Don't do this to me. I can't go back...! I won't go back! You would never let yourself cry in front of them, no matter how awfully you wanted to. You wouldn't bear to let anyone see you be vulnerable, they get that. So why can't they let you be alone and vulnerable like always? When they were just going to earn your trust to hurt you even worse then they could now? You weren't crying, of course, actually, you didn't even know what was going on in the world, but inside, the tears were flooding out, curling up into yourself, crying out for someone, anyone to help you, but you knew you couldn't trust anyone anymore, not like this. The one who you could trust is being kept from you by the men you love, and helped by the one friend that would try and help you if she could. But you're not kidding anyone. You're unable to leave this hellish situation, because you thought you could trust people. Don't do this to me. you continue to plea. It was all you could do, really. You hated it, but what could you do? Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me.  Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to me.

"Illuso?" You could barely hear Risotto Nero over your own thoughts. You sank further into your mind, frozen in place. Either of fear, or of sorrow... or of fury. One thing you know for a fact, you're not shedding a single tear. Fear made you its bitch, as you sat there, your throat tying itself into knots, your eyes long since dried up, your hands shoved between your legs, your whole body is trembling. You really had to get some caffeine soon. You can't let this end. You can't let them win. Everything was too loud, too quick, too horrifying to you. You couldn't wait for someone to help you. You have to do something about this. Because although you KNOW you're stubborn as a mule, you knew even you were reaching your limit. A limit you wanted no one to realize they've seen it way earlier than you. 

"Up, now." You had no choice but to do what he asked. Reluctantly, you pulled all your energy together to stand up and (relatively) face him, unable to force yourself to stop shaking. Shit, you forgot just how weak you felt. Besides your recent fixation upon caffeine, coffee/tea/energy drink/whatever, you're not sure if you ate much else during this time. Actually, you're sure you ate like a bird, uncharacteristically from your usual self. But nobody gives a shit about that no more. 

"You have to get some rest. I can understand if you have a fear of that for whatever reason, but this is for the best." You became afraid of him. Afraid of how he looks, or of what you're convinced he'll do? You were never really scared of him, per say, you knew he could secretly be a massive dork, ruining his menace, but now you were dreading his next move.

"Hah... You all seriously think that I, Illuso of the mirror, would need rest?! I'm not exhausted, I'm not paranoid, and I'm not-Gah..." You're not even convincing yourself at this rate, huh? Your head's killing you... So, you think, can we hurry the hell up so I can make myself some coffee?!

"'re you scared?" Paulla asks simply. She smiled ever so often, and just like now, she looks and sounds dead. 

I'm scared. You wanted to give up and say that. Just say it, and it'll be the end of it. No matter how much it hurts. I'm scared. 

"I'm..." No! If they win, they'll kill you! And if they won't, who will? 

"I'm perfectly fine..." You stared at her uncomfortably. She didn't seem to be embarrassed. She never seemed to get embarrassed. How nice was it. 

"Would you... Would you would you would you..." You stumbled over to her, looking more like a zombie then a human, gazing deep into those creepy blue eyes... 

Reaching for her eyes, you attempted to pry her eyelids open. Any reflected surface will do... Everyone seems to be calling out to you, but you couldn't hear shit. 

"Would I what?" She sounded genuine, but it was all a lie to you. There's no such a thing as genuine words. Risotto and you think Ghiaccio pry your hands from her, and distance the two of you. You began to laugh after this, no longer caring about appearances for just this moment, not caring whether or not you were actually crying as you laughed. This whole thing seemed funny in hindsight, actually. 

"Illuso, would I what?" Would you kindly let me pass?! The words fail to come out. As you could guess. She puts a hand on your heart for the beats. You struggle hiding yourself flinching from this. She specifically was more then capable of kicking your ass into retiring, and she's 3 whole years younger than you, not to mention the newest member here. You're the member who's been here the longest despite everything. Sighing, she goes back to her original spot.

"You spend all your time conducting a so-called bulletproof image. But anyone can read you like a book, Illuso."

"Completely uneeded-"

"No, Risotto, let her speak. This sounds intriguing. 

"Thank you, Sorbet... You talk big game, but you're really paranoid about sleeping in the real world, because you're afraid of being attacked in your sleep. You're afraid of causing yourself unavoidable situations like this, and because of your issues, you struggle to trust other people, whether it's establishing, or keeping this string of trust. You finally made friends in the team, everyone... else in this case, but your paranoia and anxiety take the helm, leading you to refuse to show them any hint of being vulnerable out of fear this would affect their image of you. Fear that it would leak out, maybe? And because you'd rather die then say this out loud, I will. You know this more then anyone, too... You'd rather die then admit your fears to your friends, and because of that, they don't know why you're acting so weirdly over things like this. And you get frustrated because you know it sucks, but this is all you know. Fear. Ever since you entered Passione, you were scared to sleep in someone's eyeshot, and others you did or didn't trust had just proved it. It's fear, man. Fear." She said every new sentence slowly, observing you carefully. Not sure of what to do, you laugh to yourself again.

"I'm not good with emotions, but even I know this stuff... See, Nero-chan? I learned a bit of scanning people from you!" She added, changing tracks. Before anyone else could say something, you did.

"Okay, fine! You got me!" What were you saying... "Now, let me go!" You tried moving, everyone prepared to restrain you, but you fell over something, or someone. You tried getting up, but you were too weak and exhausted to move. 

Get up! GET UP! Don't do this to me...!

Risotto had then picked you up. 

"I won't say it again. Illuso, go to sleep, or I will strap you to it."

You grew defiant, though you weren't sure why. You couldn't even try and kick your legs around, your body was half asleep already.

"Don't do this to me... No... I... I... I. Will. NOT!" You forced yourself to say to him. You should have stayed with the intel team... 

You were finished. Shit. What a lout. Urgh...

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"I... I... I. WILL. NOT." No matter how much he says it, he was scared and exhausted. But he was playing a game with La Squadra di Esecuzione, and he wanted to win, even if he knew he couldn't. And would you look at that? He's sleeping! As soon as Nero touched his face, he was out of it. Tears finally strolling down his face, but he's out cold. Uh, mission success? Yeah! 

"Damn, Herr Blücher! You really gave him what for!" The first one to speak up again was Gelato, of course. 

"Heehee! Now that that's done with..." I took him from Nero-chan's hold, and brought him into his bedroom. Nero's, not Illuso's. I'm still not sure where his apartment is. But hey, since he's paranoid about being attacked in his sleep, he can sleep with Nero-chan to protect him! 

There we go, wrapped safely in bed. He was talking a bit in his sleep, saying something like "I'm... not weak..."

The stink of these bitter memories are twisting my heart, working it in ways impossible to reconcile. Since I can't discard these memories, I'll instead carve out new memories, from the stage of the abyss, and the audience against the zenith.

Since I can't access the contents of my own memories, then I'll instead abandon the "old life" as it was, if it was at all. 

And when I awoke, only the rain remained. So I'll drift; find others who understand the pain caused by this world, and the adults who bring the rain.

I recognize the shackles of the heart in everyone's soul, just as I had... You can call me Stigma, and I'll be the one to free this world. Everyone, please, listen to me for a bit. 

We know more then anyone the lash the world gives to those who dream, the lash wielded by the very same people who were once dreamers themselves. The lash that is the chief weapon for hypocrites and the imprisoned. The rain, the thing which they call sin, in our hearts is proof of that. Its also proof of the sun and moon, the light and dark we shaped with our own hands. 

"Good Morning, Amazake."

"Mornin', Fluff-chan." Exchanges like these are common in these days. 

Would you believe me if I tell you that I'm living in a library? It’s technically in the basement, but yeah. It's a town... populated entirely by food. They aren't actually food, but they're all so convinced that they are. The lady I'm stayin' with is named Marshmallow Fluff, MaFlu for short for some. Her hair looks just like her namesake, which she said was what happened the year she came here. But as I investigated last night, it sure as hell doesn't have the exact texture of marshmallow paste. I thought she would be someone with a good head on her shoulders, but no. She's just as delusional as the others...!! It certainly grew FAST. And as I stayed, I learned about the insane yet intricate rituals the people do, so damn deep in their delusions. It was neck-length when I arrived, and as I found out, it was because of the fact that a neighbor, Candy, is wholly addicted to, well, candy and sweets. So, in exchange for her life (a cannibal??? wow~), whenever her hair reaches past the floor, she'll cut it off and give it to her. Maybe I'll try some later. I mean, probably just hair, doesn't taste like marshmallow. Certainly enough to warrant a teenager that apparently ate whoever thought of themself as a sweet in this town to enjoy all the same, so that's that. 

I'm just here for some field research. When I displayed an interest in this world, Wild drilled me on the context based on the game she played. Then, she demanded I slip into a "cycle" without many troubles, whatever that means. I've kept my 5 don'ts that've served me well, and I think that it's due time for some in-depth field research. Let's go over it to start... Fluff-chan's currently getting ready for some event with the other residents. 

#1: Don't make assumptions about them on the first day.

This should be obvious. This helps make sure there aren't any unneeded fights right off the bat, nor no sour feelings onward. Because you know how hard it is to work with someone that you hate, or hates you. As I figured out in earlier, there's greater risk of throwing the task away if someone hates someone. And, just in case someone's hatred is actually beneficial to me, I can just drug them with an FFoid. Here's to hoping the Law is on MY side that time...!

It's November, but as I've seen, the weather is somehow perfect every time. It had rain, and snow from what I heard from my host. When I first arrived, I think they drugged my food. Wild told me about that. Of course, I gave my eyes a re-do to keep up a certain level of polish that would come IF I was able to be effected by it. 

In any case, I'll keep the people at arms length as I compile everything about them. Depending on her mood, she might ask me to go.

#2: Don't make assumptions about them on the first day.

This is also self-explanatory. In this line of work, you have to first learn everything about your host, until you springboard off of that to the others. At least one thing remains for sure: MaFlu just wants to live quietly. She works at a library in the Sweets District, and no one has the balls to ignore her if she shushes them. I guess she really is more reasonable compared to the others, but... Why would a perfectly reasonable person live life thinking you're food? Makes no sense to me... Ah, but I guess I'll figure out that secret later, hmm?! This is gonna be good! Hahaha, yeah! I'll squeeze the secrets out! Today, Fluff-chan... TOMORROW THE WORLD!!! 

I can just interact with the outside world through the library just fine. It's surprisingly a little busy. But typically, I just observe from a distance. There's one resident that I haven't seen, though. She's been talked about occasionally, and her name is apparently Chili. Wonder what's her deal? I ought to investigate that later on. And she handles it with her top-notch maturity. Ya don't hear that often. I'm sure when she hears my research plans, she'll be fine with it. It's been a work week, so I think I'll be fine now. Marshmallow Fluff just wants to live a quiet life. 

#3: Don't hurt anyone unprovoked.

Partially spring-boarding off the first one, but this should be obvious as well. Bitterness never helped anyone, and judging from what Wild told me, the people are surprisingly bitter, aha~ They might do anything to be able to spin me as the one in the wrong, so just to be safe, IF needed, we take them to the woods, knock them down for an opening for another attack, and call all my underlings to beat the shit out of them, and wipe their mind of most of the event. ...Hypothetically, of course. Honestly, I have nothing else to say about this. It's a boring rule, but a practical one. 

"Hey, Ms. Amazake... I'm sorry for not telling you this sooner, but today is the anniversary of Food Town's founding, and we'll all be celebrating later tonight at the Last Supper over at the Fruits District. Do you want to come along also?"

Oho? A party? That would make a damn good opportunity for field research. 

#4: Don't trust them if they don't know your name.

I think this speaks for itself. It's just common knowledge. When cutting deals with others, it's for the best. They don't know the first thing about you, what makes you think you can trust them on handling potentially dangerous work? Of course, a fake name should suffice if needed, but I do hate lying, so let's see. 

For a party, you'll be mingling with others, so your name would be tossed around a lot. But the "Last Supper"... I never heard of something like that. Was there even a restaurant with that name before? How odd. ANYWAYS... Think of all the deals you could cut with others! Mingling with such nice, easygoing, pliable people... Ain't it fun? To fantasize about the possibilities? No? Oh, YOU'LL understand soon enough... I can collect aaaaaannnnyyyyything I want on them, and they can't do shit about it! Let's hope to God they aren't boring. 

Fluff-chan is chatty despite appearances, so most know my name already.

#5: Don't abandon your friends. No matter what.

I'm alone, so...

"Yeah sure, why not." I finally responded. A good joint requires 3 things: Men, meat, and myself. I've seen men, nothing that would catch my eye, but men are men, and I'll take it. It's a restaurant, so it would realistically have meat, but we'll see for sure. I'm going, so that's all 3 on the list, it's a good joint.

She seemed relieved a little when I said that. Heading back to her room, she came back with a bow. It matches the one she wears, but the white stripe is red. I am NOT gonna wear that up, but...

I yanked it from her hands, and wore it like a tie. Shrugging, she then picked up her telephone.

"Hey, Passion Fruit. I'll be bringing another guest with me, so plan accordingly... Yes, thank you. Goodbye."

Is there any doubt of our goals? Like, honestly, everyone already KNOWS what we need here! You get what I'm saying? You get it? We gotta rise up against the fakers! The fakers! The ones that live outside the Tower walls, the ones who look like us! If we work together, we WILL win! It always happens, in stuff like games and shows... The Remnants of Despair could've brought the world to its knees with its 21 peeps, so who's to say we can't? Oh, wait! You don't even know what I'm talking about. Woopsie! Well, I'll let the others fill you in right here...

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Everyone here wants to slay the faker. No matter how hard you bite down on these urges, they WILL rise. I have tried... And tried, and tried, and tried, and tried, and tried, and tried... And my other self barely let me off the hook. If he still can't accept me, what makes you think your other half would? That's right... you can't. And it's only a matter of time before you might be killed. That's why we have to strike now. Remember! Remember what they took from you...!

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Hivemind fled the city to spread the word of "order" to a lawless land. And where did that lead you? All the way back to us... Do you understand me us now? Rise to the occasion... and join us in the revolution. You have nothing to lose, the tethers are an illusion. You have a sense of self to gain. Oh, THIS will be fun... Ready?! Prepare yourself!