#wintersoviet

shapedbyothers

justastarkgenius

lilxlionxman

forgedfromwinter

ruthlessmeans

nade2308

starspangledboy

jerseysass

WAFFLING BROWS INTENSIFIES

DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG DING DONG BELL

I’ve only just met you, but you’re an actual gem. you seem so so so sweet, and i’m excited to write with you!

a meme i apparently am too dumb to find || @forgedfromwinter

       the first time it happens, it’s … sudden.  a spur of the moment.  the i can’t sleep because my ghosts are haunting me in the middle of the night. steve’s light sleep patterns means he wakes the moment bucky’s feet hit the floor down stairs. because despite having his own room he prefers to be where he wants. and given the time spent under hydra’s careful eye, steve doesn’t press or push or even prod.  he lets him  be. only turns over in his bed to stare at the clock that reads just a little after three am, but as the steps approach he glances to the light under the crack of the door where bucky’s feet stop. unsure. until they’re not. he slips in without much of a sound, while steve doesn’t do so, either ; until finally the usually cold and empty side of the bed dips in making home for another body. after long enough they’re asleep, waking up in a mess of limbs. bodies seek warmth, especially those depraved of anything but. 

      the second time it’s intentional, almost. a late night watching classic television from the forties [ that he would never watch until now ] ; and there’s a trace of a smile that lights up the colors of bucky’s eyes, where the rougher edges of him have smoothed over.  and he laughs more, finally comfortable in his own skin. no longer a monster that stares back at him. where eventually they fall asleep on the couch and become familiar with how it feels to have arms wrapped around them tight. 

      and then it becomes habit. habit that turns into steve stealing any moment he can, ghosting lips against a bare shoulder one lazy thursday morning where neither of them really leaves the comfort of what they have.  where there’s no question or title or no one pressing about anything. and he’s just gotten done nipping at the skin right by his shoulder blade when bucky’s voice finally rings through. something that has his smile pressing against skin with a mumbled that so? and considering this is the most sleep he’s gotten in god knows when?  well…  

      a dip in the bed as he slips up on an elbow, chin resting on the other’s shoulder to meet that gaze. and well, if anyone asked him six months ago …. three months ago, about this.  he’d only say the bare minimum.  never thought that somehow they’d end up like this. because steve?  hell.  steve always falls too hard or too fast.  there is no light with him.  it’s all zero to sixty and intensity. everything or nothing at all. he’s lost too damn much to sit back and pretend he doesn’t feel the way he does. because … 

             the mcgarrett men are different. showing emotion is showing weakness. 

       and what a fucking lie that had been.  

                                                           ‘’  —-   me, too.  ‘’  

           cause sure.  it’s a weakness.  but it’s made him who he is.  navy seal. cop. agent. lover. and a calloused thumb brushes over the knuckles of bucky’s right hand.  cause there’s so much to say and so much time to say it in. so instead he does small things.  like staying up on nights when the other can’t sleep. when nightmares still plague him from the man he was and the monster he used to be.  or sitting through hours of a show he doesn’t quite get, but has him laughing with the humor from a life he’s only read about.  and moments like this, where every ghosting of lips against bare skin says  i love you.  i need you.  thank you.  for saving me, too. and he tugs the sheet a little tighter around them.