#wildbeee

Looove u meel 🥰🎀 hope you like this... 👀 cuz writing this really hurt... cuz i guess it's a lil angsty?

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You left the hall filled with friends and family. "Y/n.." he makes you stop by holding onto your wrist "wait I.." he starts, but you interrupt him. "No.. I.. just no.." you try to form a whole sentence but you couldn't.

"You make me feel Jeff..." you start slowly"you make me feel things that i'm not supposed to feel and i hate it.." you add feeling tears running down your face. "You don't even now how hard I tried to..." you can't even finish your sentence before your voice breaks. "Fuck Jeff i tried so hard to prevent my feelings.." your eyes now completely filled with tears. "But I can't.." shaking your head. "I just can't.. and I hate myself for that.." you look back into his eyes, filled with compassion. "because it fucking hurts..." you restart "it fucking hurts and I fucking hate it.." you try to deal with your overwhelming feelings before you continue your monologue.

"Justin is a really fucking great guy.. and I really like him... and he just doesn't deserve that cause.." you hesitate for a moment, exhaling loudly "I love you.." finally saying those three words "and i don't want to love you.. because I just want to be happy.." you breath out heavily, looking into his glassy eyes "and Justin really makes me happy... but happiness isn't love.. and... I just can't cope with that.." - "y/n" he tries to interrupt you, but you put your finger up and shake your head "shut up I'm not done yet.." you say boldly.

"You don't destroy the person that you love Jeff.." you continue. "but that's exactly what you did and still are doing to me.." you look back at where you came from. "you destroy me.. because.. you are in me.." you try to explain "it's like you are a fucking disease and i'm infected... and I cant think about anything or anybody.." another wave of tears filling your eyes again "I can't sleep.. and I can't breathe... and that's just because you make me feel things.."

He is rather suuuper shy and careful.. trying to impress you at all costs.. ooorr very decisive.. like "i'm gonna make her mine.." 👀

Just... either absolutely sure about you or just uncertain because he doesn't want to ruin your friendship..🥺

I know you looove ilya.. so let's go with him for that! Doing the first date one.. cuz.. i think what would be cute!

You met him at a little smoothie bar or something (i'm drinking one right now.. so i'm feeling that lol) standing in line, waiting for your order to be called out.. that's when you notice him standing there with some of his friends.. already a smoothie in his hand.. just when he takes a sip of his healthy drink he looks up at you and you meet his beautiful brown eyes, getting lost instantly... maybe the two of you wore kinda the same shirt? Of a band both of you enjoy to listen to.. that's when you get into conversation.. exchanging numbers and he promises to write you when he gets home.. which he did..

After a lot of writing back and forth and even some late night calls you slowly start to catch some feelings for him.. its you who finally gets the courage to ask him out on a date.. "wait deadass?" He would ask in disbelief... you would just chuckle at his unexpected reaction. "I mean.. yeah.. i really enjoy talking to you..so i would like to see you again too.." you would explain before the two of you settle on a date someday next week.

When the day has finally come, you are in your appartement, waiting for him to pick you up. Before you hear the bell ring, you would take a final look at yourself in the mirror, just to appreciate your cute outfit and make up once again. Not that Ilya would care about that.. but you wanted to look nice for your first date with him.

He would be sooo nervous! Trying to complement your outfit without stuttering, opening the door of his car for you...making a playlist of the band you two bonded over just so you two have a topic to talk about during the car ride. I think he would take you to a lovely Italian place, which Natalie recommended for him.. not too fancy, but very cozy.

You two would talk about your childhood, your family's, your favorite vacation and every thing else.. there is no moment of uncomfortable silence.. you two would share a dessert and once again get lost in conversation. Until the owners of the restaurant would politely ask you to leave cuz they wanted to close the place... on the way out he would take your hand, leading the way to his car.