#why me.

like, case-by-case, obviously. if you know better, you know better. no excuses, you know? you apologize for hurting someone, whether you did it on purpose or not. that's the right thing to do.

but it is actually, literally harrowing to not only hurt someone unintentionally, but on top of that, have that person go "actually, you did this maliciously with the express intent of hurting me, and you're a piece of shit for it. my mind cannot be changed btw."

like, is it my tone? my demeanor? was it a pattern? what on this fucking planet made you think so lowly of me, and why don't i know?

i feel like i'm insane. i've had people decide i was just mean on purpose all my life, since i was like 6 years old. and it's not like i don't apologize when stuff like that comes up - hell, i even do it preemptively! it's just like there's this fucking Evil Aura around me that makes people assume the worst of me, neurotypicals and neurodivergents alike. a big sticky note on my forehead that says "i don't know better than to be cruel to others" that some people read and just automatically accept as truth.

Love is supposed to feel like love. Hector was trying his hardest but criticized himself so much, the Godly realm felt so lonely that the worst parts of him came out. Is he just supposed to be villified as some annoying old person?? Like there's way more optimism in this type of character than you think. Why the hell do people just not want them as a concept. Like it's the plague. As if middle aged people never find love in each other? You can only be happy when youre young or some shit? I get an uneasy feeling from all of it

Can no one handle a little growth between needy individuals who've done nothing but try to survive in this world? Its like, I have anger issues. Everyone does. But its like, Capochin is way softer than he seems. Hector isn’t as difficult as people make them out to be. Like it or not, both of them are misfits Hector got a big break and it got to his head. Shit happens. Most of their conflict is them misunderstanding each other, people act like its not fixable. Hector has a condition(in NPD) where he daydreams often to comfort himself. Its not being mean on purpose, think about how he almost never gets a moment to himself, he was always thinking about someone else.

His previous altruism distracted him so much to the point of Capochin being in the background. But think about how Capochin's been scared to make a move, too. Like. God. Stop pretending they hate each other...you know? That one's the overstatement. I can't even imagine them disliking each other. It feels wrong.

So I just found out that Jason Aaron (aka the worst Namor writer in the long 80+ years history of the character) is writing Namor.

I'm doing fine (lying).