Weight
Last night I had a dream that was derived of segments. Each particular segment consisted of a subsection of my life, be it fear or enjoyment, and each seemed to have a theme. At one point, I was in my normal life, consisting as I do on a regular basis when suddenly a spider skitters across the floor. My first instinct is to jump up from my seat and smash it underfoot, but when I raise my shoe it is not there. I’m not sure whether I missed the spider or failed some fundamental test. It’s only a dream but the spider was running away from me and I still felt the need to smash it. I don’t know if this part was before or after, but at some point in the dream, (I’ll remind you it was in segments), I was living with the first girl I ever loved and I wasn’t nervous around her anymore. I was casual, nonchalant and even aloof as I addressed her vaguely. I was both myself and a witness to my behavior and it was shallow and manipulative. I am going to try to start remembering the dialogue in my dreams because it can get pretty weird. I remember another segment that was a bunch of friends sitting on the deck of a ski lodge overlooking a vast valley. The table was small, round and covered in beers and a couple of the people at the table were sasquatches or giraffes or something between the two. This might have been a motley crew but they spent a good portion of the night watching youtube videos and one of their favorites was a video about a monkey in a cage. This monkey was enigmatic and seemed hesitant to reach for the banana. Slowly it extends its fingers and as it comes into contact with the smooth skin, the monkey rips the banana away and smashes against his chest causing the spine to rip open as the monkey buries his face in the fruit and gnashes at its soft insides. There is something about the monkey in the video, the way he snatches the bananas and cracks them so vivaciously, that really tickles everyone at the lodge. All night the party pretended to smash and aggressively inhale bananas. So everyone is sitting around this table drinking beers and I come up with the best joke of my life. “Hey guys, what do a dick and a banana have in common?” , “I don’t know, what?” , “They both leave shit all over your chest!” Everyone sitting around the table laughed and I think one of the most fascinating things about this dream is the fact that it really doesn’t make a whole lot of sense regardless of context and it’s bad when it’s told well. I cannot control my subconscious mind. I feel threatened, morally confused, and exposed. How to be a better person: Don’t kill things, acknowledge others, appreciate confidentiality, be honest.
Have a wonderful time.
