#weekly confessional

Hana felt that the confessional interview this week was a little pointless. The questions were near identical - the only difference was that they wanted her opinion on the performances and rankings of last week, what her reactions to it had been. Her answers to the generic questions (”How’s dorm life? How are you adapting?”) were practically the same as the prior week, with a few extra anecdotal additions concerning her friends and some confused questions she had for the producers about the way they were housed (”Why are the guys and girls living totally separately anyway when the winners will be sharing a dorm for at least the next few years? Seems kind of obtuse to me, PD-nim.”) which flustered the staff a little. When they began asking her about the previous week, though, she looked directly at the camera and sighed, before carefully answering, “I don’t think anyone had a particularly bad performance last week. Some people had some...interesting song choices, but they pulled it off as well as humanly possible, so kudos to them.” 

Honestly, did Mnet staff really not realise how seethrough they were? she wondered to herself. There was no way they were going to get any drama-creating material out of her, that was for sure. “Really, I’m not interested in anyone’s rank but my own. Obviously I want the people that I’m friends with to do well, but i try to only be concerned with my own talent. Rather than think about it as the people ranking above me being better than me, I try to think about how I can work harder to show I’m just as good. I am pretty happy with my rank last week though, and I felt like I did my performance almost as well as I possibly could. There’s always room for improvement, though.”

"Are you ready?" The voice surprised Yena and she visibly flinched - she had been daydreaming. She offered an apologetic smile and nodded once, rising to her feet. "Sorry about that. I'm ready," She responded, then allowed herself to be lead into the confessional room. She didn't dread it as much as she had the first two weeks - instead, she was viewing it as what it was - an opportunity to express her feelings truthfully. She sat down in front of a camera, her posture straight and her head held high. 

"Hello, Yena. How are you feeling today?"

"I'm feeling great! I woke up in a decent mood. I was just caught daydreaming a little bit - couldn't help it. I just feel so happy," She answered genuinely, her smile seeming to grow. She wasn't sure why she woke up feeling so good, but she wasn't about to complain - a good day was something well-needed.

"Glad to hear it. Now, how did you feel when you were informed about the week's plans?"

"I was excited! It seemed a lot more fun and easier than last week, for sure. Plus, the song my team was assigned is fun. I used to like it a lot, so it was a decent surprise! Actually practicing was something else. It was stressful, but we powered through."

"How do you truly feel about your team?"

Yena couldn't help but laugh a little bit - sure, it was the same exact question as the week prior, but that didn't make it any less amusing. "I like them. Chanmi.. Well. I don't have anything personal against her, but I wish she was just a little bit more cooperative and understanding. Other than that, she's fine. I don't have any complaints about Hana or Minah. That's how I truly feel," She spoke, ending with an amused smile. 

“How are you adapting to dorm life?”

"I feel really comfortable now - it's been three weeks, so I guess that much is to be expected. I finally stopped walking into the wall late at night, thinking that's where the door would be. That's always a good thing, right?"

"Do you think your team did well?"

Coming into the confessional room a second time was far more easier for Raekyung. A self-described introvert, he struggled immensely with the first one and, when he watched it back, he realised he hadn’t spoken as much as others had; or at least not from the sounds of it when the trainees spoke to one another. The possibility that he would come across as cold to the audience was what motivated him to show a change in attitude. If he thought about it, and what he tried to convince himself, was that he was speaking to a camera and not a person; he could act as extrovert as he wanted to.

Sitting in the seat was far easier than last week; he’d figured out where the comfortable parts of the seat was and was able to naturally slide into it and give the camera a smile. One of the things he had learned from the past seasons of Idol Project was that people loved vulnerability; it made the idols a little more relate-able and Raekyung knew that. He knew that, as much as his lisp would hinder him, it’d also assist him. He wasn’t going to show it off now though; he wanted to wait for the right time. 

The week’s questions were simple and easy to answer and Raekyung appreciated that; it made it harder for his words to be twisted and for him to continue with his plans for a happier angle.

“Dorm life is good - it’s nice to meet some new people and see some familiar faces,” Raekyung said through a smile, nodding slightly, “I miss the DS dorms though, but I think that’s more of a familiarity thing.”

He didn’t think it; he was sure of it. Raekyung had come to detest the DS dorms but he wasn’t going to let the world know that; playing the trainee who pined for their old dorms was going to benefit him far better than being disrespectful towards the company who gave him such opportunities. As bitter as he was about not debuting with Hydra, he was grateful that DS kept him as a trainee and put him forward for Idol Project.

“The competition’s harder than I thought it’d be,” After a few seconds of careful consideration Raekyung decided to speak, “That’s such a cliche thing to say but it’s true - you think you just need to show off your skills but it’s so much more than that. It’s a challenge - but I like a challenge.”

Those behind the camera were reacting far better to him than last week; instead of prompting him to say more they were smiling and were happy with what he was saying. In their eyes he was producing enough content for them to actually want to give him screen time. Raekyung could see they appreciated it and he made sure to keep his smile up, moving strategically so his whole smile could be seen - snaggle tooth included.

The last question was the hardest for him; the challenged had confused him and he wasn’t sure if what he said wouldn’t be taken the wrong way. There’d been a pattern that some speculated - that the second episode was always the hardest - but Raekyung had decided to ignore those and take the challenges as they came. Did he regret it now for not being as prepared for something out of the blue? Definitely.

“I think like the others I was confused,” He said with a slow and careful nod, “But isn’t that the point of competitions like these? You’re meant to be out of your comfort zone. As much as I didn’t get it I’d rather it be challenging than another walk in the park, y’now?”

Hana feels a lot more comfortable in front of the confessional camera this time than the first time, she thinks to herself as she sits down to do her very final confessional for Idol Project Three. She says as much, once the cameras turn on, relaying how originally she’d been scared that it would force out of her feelings that she didn’t want to show to the public, or that it would be used to stir up drama, which, admittedly, it had. The producer shot her a dirty look for that one.

“You know, I’ve actually really enjoyed this experience,” Hana says, somewhat surprised at her answer, when prompted to talk about how she feels that it’s all come to a close. “Originally...I never mentioned this before, but I was actually pulled from the line up of Gaia’s new girl group, Eternity, to be on this show, and that seriously upset me. I was furious. People told me to take it as a compliment, that they thought of all of us I had the most chance to succeed, and I tried, but I couldn’t. I went into this less looking forward to it as some were, and more seeing it as a veritable Hunger Games where I would have to win to prove my worth to my company, or die in the Gaia basement. Now...I’m glad I came. I won’t win - we all know that Mirae’s been queen of this show from the start - and I might not even get into the group, though I’ve tried my best, but my company can’t ignore me after this, and hopefully neither will all you viewers. Thank you for supporting me, honestly.” She chuckles a little to herself. “I didn’t want to say my self esteem took a hit being pulled and put on here, but it did, but the fans I’ve gained have brought it back up by supporting me. I’m forever going to be thankful.”

She feels a little as if she’s being generic, with the end part of that, but she feels better, freer now that she’s admitted her original circumstances. It was part of her drive to do well, originally, but somehow her drive has transformed into wanting to do well for herself, not anyone else, and wanting to be in a group with the friends she’s made over the course of the show. She’s glad it’s changed, and she reiterates as much to the camera, before signing off with a bright smile. If she says any more, things might get emo, and she’s still not ready to go there on camera yet, so she simply waves goodbye.

The confessional was Hana’s least favourite part of Idol Project. The questions always seemed to be very similar, and she felt like she was reciting re-learned answers. However, she knew there was no way around it - Mnet would always insist on fishing for gossip and drama. This time, though, for the (shockingly) second week in a row, she felt she actually had something proper to talk about.

“I was really pleased with my rank going into this week,” she relayed to the camera enthusiastically. “Last week, I started out the week somewhat discouraged - though I wasn’t going to let that slow me down, obviously - because my rank from the week before was the lowest it had been in the history of the show. I don’t know what I did last week to climb right back up, because I just worked hard like always, but I was so happy when I saw I was back in the number two spot.” She smiled, looking down for a second before looking directly into the camera and making a heart shape towards it with her hands. “Thank you for voting for me, everyone who did,” she said genuinely. She’d tried not to show it too much at the time, but being fourth (though she knew that was not low at all in the ranking, really) had knocked her down even more than she had showed, so regaining her previous rank had really raised her spirits going into this week.

Yena kept a bright smile on her face as she was lead into a room full of cameras - all pointed at the area where she was supposed to sit for her confessional. Really, she was uncomfortable, just like she had been the week before - but it’s not like she could just say ‘no, I’m not doing the confessional.’, so she had to act confident, right?

She sat down on the designated seat, straightening her posture and averting her gaze to the camera directly in front of her as she waited for the interview to begin.

“How do you feel about the plans for this week?”

Yena let her gaze flicker around as she thought, soon beginning to speak, “Um. To tell you the truth, I think it’s a little.. Crazy? I think that’s a sufficient word. Obviously, they won’t tell us to do anything that’s impossible, but I think learning eight songs might be pushing the limits a little bit. Just a little. I mean.. It was fun. Yeah. I enjoyed it for the most part, but it wasn’t easy, y’know?”

“How do you truly feel about your team?”

“What do you mean, truly?” Yena asked, snickering a little bit. “What you see is what you get. I support them whole-heartedly, and I think they’re all nice girls. I hope I get to see them succeed in the future, if not with this show.”

“How are things in the dorm?”

“Um.. For me, personally? I think living in the dorm is fun, to some extent. I like to be around people, so..” She trailed off, nodding once. “It took a few days for me to settle in, but things are fine now.”

“Lastly, what are your opinions on the performances?”