#wasthisyourcard

I did post it before I offered the readings, but it was the album Living Creatures by the band Stolas.

hello hello! you'll be my final reading, as I have work tomorrow. I'll probably continue the rest of these either tomorrow or soon after, as I love this album too much not to finish it. we continue on with Destroyer, right around the 20:47 mark.

Afraid of this,Afraid I'm losing my mindI can't see what's insideIt's like I never livedstuck inside of this

more feelings of being trapped overwhelm us. but, in this case, we panic. we want to shield ourselves but we hardly even know ourselves at this point. we've reached a point of distress and it's terrifying. take the time to assess the situation, feel it out with what you know, and remind yourself that even if you've never felt this before, it's a stepping stone to growth. we all learn in different ways, and for most, it's by being a beautiful mess.

and onto the next song! Destroyer. I've stopped us right at 19:23.

I couldn't see your face,so I drew it on the wall.It was one of many things leftwhile you were gone

in a time of grief, we cling to what we know. some see it as drastic, but we all get sensitive. we all sometimes need the extra love and affection to cling to, and it just isn't always there. don't let this time coming over you allow you to get bitter. and if you do, don't unleash it on those who try to get close to you.

and now we enter The Greatest Illusion:

I gained the ability to fly, and it was the greatest freedom I had ever feltthe skies opened up, any movement felt naturalthe wind wrapped around my skin, gracing me with its presence.

we find ourselves entering a time of peace, a time of joy. sometimes, it causes us to just be lost in the constant stream of utter beauty and love. everything feels so perfect, so in tune, and we fly through it and enjoy it while it lasts. happiness and joy fill your veins, and propel your movements.

sure sure! we reach the end of Time and the Sun, now at the 16:38 mark.

What a disaster!What a sweet disaster!

the words do not lie. some of us don't exist without causing a few problems, and they're not even always our fault. most of the time, it's more likely that we just stumble into this mess, and we have no way of getting ourselves out of it. but do your best to make it beautiful.

you absolutely can! we bring ourselves now into the fourth song, the Time and the Sun. we're right around the 14:45 mark.

And I don't remember where you're from but I can feel youpressing against my pen through the other side of the pageI'm leaving this song guillotined by the curtain callI'm putting my problems in poems and abandoning them there, unsolved.

as we fly in our own neurosis, we find ourselves inevitably distracted by the existence of others. we have no way to escape this, and sometimes, they won't allow us to. we want to continue on our ways, even if sometimes they can lead to our inevitable downfall. but if they're pushing so hard to get through, are they really trying to help? or are they just trying to shake you?

AHHH I'M SO GLAD YOU GOT ONE OF THE BEST PARTS. near the end of Our Last Night on Earth, there is a bit of spoken word, and the portion you get is right around 12:15.

Meaning in life is just something we cultivate, we start with an idea and run with it everywhere, like tired gospel all the while it's dying in our heads.

we sit here and we fabricate this idea that we're all meant for something bigger in life. we're all meant to be famous, we're all meant to succeed, we're all meant to be perfect and live out these dreams that we hardly believe in anymore. it feels like we shouldn't be so childish, but that's what we tell ourselves when we're crumbling and need to be strong. we'll succeed, we'll be famous, we'll make everyone proud. but do you really believe it?

and now we enter into the third song of the album, Our Last Night on Earth. I have us paused right at 9:42.

The sky lit up,I watched the words roll off your lipsThe sound waves broke apart what was left of herethe nights grew louder in the great beyond.

the world is on fire around you. everything moves in slow motion as you watch it disintegrate, and it'd be beautiful if it wasn't utterly horrifying. the people around you seem beautiful, glowing, terrified. it's almost surreal, and then you can feel yourself lost to the destruction. we are all only around for so long before we disappear, be it softly or with a bang.