#warning rant

candypop with those stupidly high waist tights that jesters have .... but erm according to google jesters DIDN'T actually wear that .... idfk where that thought came from ... also he isn't wearing any makeup in the second pic cuz i didn't know whether or not i should make those actual markings on his skin or just something he paints on .... i still dont lol. oh and more of his genderbent!!! i kinda wanna post their genderbent designs sometime :P lemme know if u guys want that :P

I wanna take you back to the year 1999 when Super Smash Bros. originated on the Nintendo 64, the first console that introduced me to gaming with the likes of Super Mario 64 as a primitive source of open world environments. It was basically a four player brawler where instead of original characters, they'd have Nintendo All-Stars come together and beat the crap out of each other in a more lighter tone of every Godzilla movie. Then there was this commercial where Mario, Donkey Kong, Big Nose and Japanese Michael Rodent were frolicking through the flower field until suddenly, they get into a fight. It was unexpected at first, but it was funny. Even though it was a best seller, it didn't pave the way of being catered to competitive players until the late and great Hiroshi Yamauchi's final console release under his watch was the Nintendo GameCube. Two years later while the latter was around the corner during launch, Melee arrived on the scene, introducing a fast paced mechanic with wave dashing abilities. It gained even more stages than its predecessor, as well as an adventure mode and special events exclusive to single player matches. And it also saw its first foray into female representation such as Princess Peach, Zelda and Mewtwo (I prefer a female variant more, so don't try testing me on it). Super Smash Bros. Melee, after it was unveiled, achieved over 7.41 million copies, making it the best seller and would later appear in tournaments. Both the GameCube and the Game Boy Advance were two of the last consoles made by Yamauchi before his retirement in 2002 due to his age, until he was replaced an imcompetent con-artist turned money grubbing scumbag. I'm not gonna get into detail as to who he is, so let's say his name is Lans G.

Before Lans G. took over Nintendo, there was a certain villain that caught my absolute attention by surprise. It's not Ridley, Ganondorf or even King Dedede. It's King K. Rool. He made his first appearance in Donkey Kong Country circa 1994 when an overrated system was released four years prior. I loved his design and physical appearance, as well as the ability to turn his crown into a boomerang; use a blunderbuss to shoot enemies; fly around with his trusty propeller pack and even participating in a game of boxing. Right next to an overweight orangutan named Diddy Kong, who also originated on the same system, K. Rool is considered a shoe-in of having no super powers. Who needs them when you've got the muscles and the belly to keep all crocodile lovers like me company? Although I never owned the game and the overrated system during the 90's (despite having to own a NEW Nintendo 3DS XL in 2016), I quickly fell in love with him. And after making appearances in Diddy's Kong Quest, Dixie Kong's Double Trouble, the Land series on Game Boy and Donkey Kong 64, it was the day I became a full on supporter for King K. Rool only.

From then on, I started to fully support K. Rool into returning to the world of Nintendo, just to see if he could make another appearance. But to my utter disappointment, I noticed there was no sight of him. Only a series of bland tiki mask enemies who were featured in Donkey Kong Country Returns. Then I tried again in the newest installment, simply known as Tropical Freeze. Same thing, but with Lord Fredrik and the animal vikings involved. Both the Donkey Kong Country games made specifically for the Nintendo 3DS and Nintendo Switch respectfully without the disastrous use of motion controls were entirely developed by RETRO Studios, a company based in Texas. They were ordered by Lans G. to eradicate any mention about King K. Rool, so he can force Donkey Kong and friends to be better off without him. And that alone broke my heart. Finally, came Super Smash Bros. 3D. Or just Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS due to the popularity of handhelds. Smash 3D was the first of its kind to be developed on a portable system to allow players fight anytime, anywhere. That's their unique marketing slogan: Fight anytime, anywhere. I tried unlocking every character from reveal trailers and those that weren't featured on the 3DS' negatively received counterpart and, just like Returns and Tropical Freeze alone, K. Rool was STILL nowhere to be found. I was completely devastated and hurt by how the Smash community started treating K. Rool as if he's nothing but an "irrelevant" and "less iconic" Nintendo villain. I knew that if they all found out I was an avid K. Rool lover and supporter, I feared they'd start jabbing me right in the cheek and beat me up! But then came my final chance to redeem myself: the Smash Bros. Fighter Ballot.

When the site was launched, I got lucky enough to cast my vote for K. Rool to be playable in Smash 3D, so I can enjoy buying his merchandise and show those self entitled weeaboos who's the REAL boss around here. After filling in the vote, I was all set! I felt glad and happy to realize there were other players out there who disliked the weeaboo culture that also casted their vote for K. Rool. I could imagine myself playing as King K. Rool in Smash 3D, where I wouldn't have to sit through another Smash game involving another generic anime fighter. But when I heard the unfortunate news about him, my victory was short lived. Lans G. decided to troll me and the fans of giving players a King K. Rool Mii costume for brawlers. I looked at it in silence, then felt like I was dead on the inside. Momentarily, I got angry. Having a K. Rool costume for Mii brawlers meant it was nothing but a slap in the face for those who voted for him, because Lans G. knew how popular he was just before he died. And months later, after a web show they should have cancelled was brought back, they publicly announced Bayonetta was unveiled as the new winner of the Fighter Ballot. And then started to give players Cloud Strife in the middle of my birthday. Really? A Final Fantasy VII character? I'm going to cause a major uproar, but I certainly hate Square Enix. I mean, what even is the point of comparing Final Fantasy to Sonic the Hedgehog if we never have gotten VII on the SEGA Saturn? If it were up to someone who had the heroic efforts of porting it over without pirating it, we never would've had to stare at a 24 / 7 picture of Bernie Stolar on literally just about anything.

After DLC was wrapped up, and all the Fire Emblem characters were pretty much overrepresented, I decided to look up on who was responsible for making every Fire Emblem game to date. Not only was the game developed wholly by Intelligent Systems, but much to my rage, dismay, frustration, irritation, humiliation and fury, it was indeed Tohru Narihiro, being the co-producer of every Smash game while he brought Marth and Roy to Melee. It was at this moment my chances, dreams and hopes of supporting King K. Rool were brutally shattered into millions and millions of pieces before they suddenly disappeared. By that time, I was at the breaking point of renouncing weeaboos, anime, generic human characters and first party game development. If Lans G. could've brought King K. Rool back from the dead, let alone have him return to the world of Nintendo for a brand new Donkey Kong title, then all was lost. My wish was to see King K. Rool make an appearance in a brand new Donkey Kong game, and yet it was all for nothing. Over an entire decade without King K. Rool's glorious and official return, everything was on Narihiro. Since I realized it was his fault, he was the one who started this hate, drama, controversy and scrutiny, and call me crazy, all because he was nothing but a big, fat, stupid bitch! Yes, I know. I know. Everyone hates it when I say that, but I needed to get that out of my chest. After I sold my copy of Smash 3D and earned some money, a new president Tatsumi Kimishima rose to the top and unveiled the greatest thing he only created while destroying the so-called legacy that was Lans G.: the Nintendo Switch.

Originally known as Nintendo NX, it was the go-to source of two different ways: At home, or on the go. I chose the latter, since I'm into handheld gaming. It was a breakthrough console that received so much love by third party publishers and indie developers (me included) they made amends to port so much games that Lans G. made Nintendo miss out on, such as Skyrim, Crash Bandicoot, Spyro, Mega Man, Sonic, DOOM, Shovel Knight, Freedom Planet, Shantae, Yooka-Laylee, Gunvolt and so many more. Then there were highly acclaimed hits exclusive to Nintendo such as Breath of the Wild, Kingdom Battle, Super Mario Odyssey and Cruis'n blast. All four games that were released on the system were produced and handled by Kimishima himself, and nowhere did it say "it stinks"! However, the Switch wasn't the biggest saving grace. Around 28 March 2017, a game called Rivals of Aether was the true reason it made me quietly quit Super Smash Bros. forever.

Rivals of Aether is regarded as a true spiritual successor to Melee, except its roster heavily consists of anthropomorphic animal champions from warring civilizations, as well as having a story mode, rollback netcode, unique controls, stunning graphics, animation and a killer soundtrack to listen to. It even boasts guest characters such as Ori from both the Blind Forest and Will of the Wisps, and the eponymous Shovel Knight. Really, who wouldn't love everyone's favorite anthropomorphic fish in disguise as a valiant warrior holding up a shovel? The game originally came out on PC 28 March, and again on XBOX ONE X 22 August and quickly received critical acclaim, claiming it was the biggest indie answer to Super Smash Bros. The result was that a company known as Aether Studios, founded by former Microsoft representative Dan Fornace, implemented a successful use for GameCube controllers and the revival of wavedashing. However, in terms of this, no shields or ledge grabbing were involved. Instead, hardcore gamers and players of Rivals would instead rely on wall jumping back on the stage and parry against incoming attacks from opponents, and that's a nice thing about it too. And when the definitive edition was just around the bend, it also added in the Milestone System (because it's free) and Tetherball Mode, as well as forthcoming characters in alphabetical order like Hodan, Mollo, Olympia and Pomme. But, out of everything that there is, there was one character whom I adore a lot: Ranno. When he was the first DLC character introduced at Super Smash Con (and then one year later with the successful inclusion of Shovel Knight), my mind blew me away as to why no one ever thought of having a frog chracter apper in a Rivals game. So I smiled with no regrets and tried the game out on Steam, and it worked. I even took home a few plushies that were themed to Rivals and made by Symbiote Studios, such as Ranno, Shovel Knight and Clairen. Out in the middle of nowhere, the former of the two would make guest appearances in games like Brawlhalla, Fall Guys and M.U.G.E.N., where I find it heartwarming. Speaking of heartwarming, Rivals of Aether also has a stunning community full of fun and exciting people to see and let them compete for cash and prizes. Afterwards, Aether Studios decided to retool the community safety guidelines in response to all this negative BS that's been circling aroudn Massy. After Rivals became a huge success, Dan and his team decided to bring the game over to the Nintendo Switch and called it Rivals of Aether - Definitive Edition, so I would start playing it anytime, anywhere. I do enjoy the idea of having four elements come together like fire, water, air and earth and then start beating the living hell out of each other. Ranno, for example, was the reason I began to love and support while entirely making fun of the other guy. It's not Zetterburn, Orcane, Wrastor, Kragg nor anyone else, but it's Massy's favorite final evolved water starter. Then there's the Steam Workshop where players can customize their own fighter and be able to upload them to Rivals only, unless they have a pixel art themed animation software. If Massy or Lans G. can't bring K. Rool back, let any fan do it! Outside of Rivals, Aether Studios also created Lovers of Aether, where the player can decide who will go to the prom instead of the Ding-Dong Tree as a date; Creatures, a mobile based card game similar to Hearthstone and the Elder Scrolls Legends; Dungeons, a roguelike RPG action adventure spin-off where players assume the role of Fleet as the main hero who is on a mission to embark on a journeye to find Julesvale herself, and a new 3D Rivals game I'm certainly looking forward to. Oh, and did I forget to mention they also made a comic series?

Fast forward to today, I've been with the Rivals community for about several years since Ranno swooced right in and guided me out of the dumpster fire that was Smash. Originally, I was considering buying Rivals on the eShop during a Black Friday Sales event in 2020, but then Limited Run Games made a physical release and became a full on sponsor for fighting games. Eventually, I did. After two years of being among the first GameMaker game to hit Switch around 24 September, I connected my Nintendo Switch GameCube Controller adapter to my Multiport USB PlayStand, I bought the game and started playing immediately. So Nintendo gave Dan and Aether Studios the OK signal, and Rivals was definitely the reason I quit Super Smash Bros. entirely. They let it happen, because there were so much indie support being given. Playing as Ranno felt like I relived the days of Smash for 3DS, but on a better selling system. And I was never able to put it down, considering why 64 and 3D condemned any wavedashing mechanic nor fast gameplay. Of course Aether Studios would oversee the popularity of the Switch and be all "Breath of the Wild and Odyssey became highly acclaimed titles, huh? However, it's missing something. What exactly would it want? Well, our opinions had been validated so many times lately, and the fact we admire our faithful newcomer Lewis over supporting Ranno and Clairen because they make the best couple, so we decided to come out and state... 'Screw it! Let's beat Sakurai and release Rivals of Aether - Definitive Edition on the Nintendo Switch while we do some damage, Rivals style!'" Unlike myself who's more of a full on supporter for third party publishers and indie developers, Nintendo fans just wouldn't wanna bother playing it. Much to my delight of course, since I already renounced first party games in 2016.

While I had the pleasure of playing Rivals on the Switch, I couldn't bring up the fact Massy went out of his way and made it unacceptably clear Super Smash Bros. is for "good boys and girls". I have a translation to that remark: it's for kids. FOR. KIDS. People couldn't expect high tier fan requests for characters like the DOOM Slayer, Liu Kang, Mai Shiranui or even Phoenix Wright to be in the roster, because it's targeted for a younger demographic! But the worst part about the Smash games is its dreaded community. There were a lot of people wanting characters like Crash, Geno or Travis to show up in the roster; whining and complaining about Waluigi not being playable twice due to assist trophies; not being able to shower or put on some deodorant; causing a fight over losing and even claim that it's a real fighting game instead of being catered to children as a party game. And then, as reported by Reddit user JFMV763, there were over 103 top Smash players who got away with sexually assaulting victims and minors before they got kicked out, leaving the community crumbled to pieces. I, as an ex-Smash player / fan, felt deeply shocked and surprised by the fact this unexpectedly happened, mainly because all of the players who wound up becoming sex predators were a part of the Weinstein effect. I wonder if Miramax managed to buy all four Pokemon movies after Spell of the Unknown? Maybe who knows, but that's just me.

If I'm going to review Smash Ultimate, I'd give it a -10 / 10. Why? I can't say. Besides, even if Rivals of Aether wasn't developed by Fornace nor Aether Studios, I would've given Ultimate a chance. But unfortunately, I highly doubt that. Hell, it's incredibly unplayable it'll wind up being sent back to various game stores so no one wants to go through the same old stuff over and over again. I for one don't wanna blow $130 for both the game and its expensive DLC. This is coming from a 90's kid turned cartoonist who welcomed third parties / indies as better alternatives.

As for Lans G. himself, think about it: the Wii branding, motion controls, getting rid of King K. Rool, glorifying weeaboo culture, shunning furries... what made you think he was gonna do for you, bring a negative impact to your life so y'all should feel happy for his bullshit excuses? Apparently obvious. You can always leave your complaint in the complaint box, but I don't check that shit.

That aside, I want to address what completely happened around July 2020. Now, I'm not a doctor, but I will share some advice: you're single. And you want to go on a date with someone, that's fine. And then you wanna get married before having a baby, so that's alright with me. But the thing is, as I've mentioned over qutting, there were so much assault towards underage victims who spoke against so-called Smash players like Cinnpie, Keitaro, Sky, D1 and ZeRo before e'rrybody else dropped out of its scene forever. Please remember: Don't sexualize kids. Don't engage in a relationship with them. And never, ever, under any circumstances, rape them. Either way, you're completely fucked.

So, yeah. Rivals of Aether was presumably the reason why I quit Super Smash Bros. over knowing it had become. Especially since Massy failed to address the allegations against players while becoming relentless. I'd rather be spending the day off at the Swampy Estuary talking about how real frogs are the best and why they're absolutely important in my own daily life.

GORA ARE MAD ABOUT THE SPOILERS AS WELL

AND KEEP EMPHASIZING TO AVOID THEM AND PLEASE DONT READ THEM SO YOU CAN ENJOY THE STORY AS IT UNFOLDS

STOP F*CKEN ASSUMING THEY DID IT ON PURPOSE.

WHY THE F*CK WOULD THEY RUIN THEIR OWN CLIFF HANGERS THAT THEY TRIED HARD TO CREATE SUSPENCE FOR ON PURPOSE.