#wangcheng

But Jiang Cheng knows that Lan Wangji is only looking for Wei Wuxian; is looking for that particular Lotus scent that always clung to Wei Wuxian, for the faintest sound of his bell, for his trailing red ribbon.

The first two Lan Wangji found in Lotus Pier easily enough, found it both with Jiang Cheng even, but the last one is a lot harder to come by.

Jiang Cheng should know, because he’s been looking for it as well.

Wei Wuxian’s ghost hangs over both of them, hangs over every interaction they have, and Jiang Cheng hates to admit that his ghost follows Jiang Cheng into the bedroom, at least recently.

Ever since Jiang Cheng admitted to himself that it’s not just a hate thing between them anymore, at least not for him.

It was easier when it was still just that, Jiang Cheng thinks, but he can’t change it, not anymore.

He’s in too deep already; Lan Wangji is almost a steady presence at Lotus Pier by now. Jin Ling and Wen Yuan—now Lan Yuan, really—are growing up together and Jiang Cheng has heard Jin Ling refer to Lan Yuan as his older brother more than once already.

He should have corrected him, it’s not what this is, what they are doing, but he didn’t have the heart to.

And now his own heart is set on a man who hates him and who still loves his dead brother. Jiang Cheng would laugh at the ridiculousness of it all if it didn’t hurt so much.

“Fuck,” he whispers, careful not to wake Lan Wangji, but when a large, warm hand settles on Jiang Cheng’s back, he knows it’s futile.

Lan Wangji has always been a light sleeper.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Jiang Cheng says without looking at Lan Wangji, but he can see him shrug from the corner of his eyes.

“It’s almost time, anyway,” Lan Wangji gives back, his voice still sleep rough and heat pools low in Jiang Cheng’s stomach.

“But not yet,” Jiang Cheng says, trying desperately to distract himself, but when Lan Wangji starts to sweep his hand up and down Jiang Cheng’s bare back he realizes that it’s no use.

“Not yet,” Lan Wangji agrees and then pushes himself up on an elbow. “You’ve been thinking,” he says and Jiang Cheng can just imagine the light frown on his face, the way the corner of his mouth subtly turns down, and he wonders when the hell he learned to read the many expressions of Lan Wangji like this.

Jiang Cheng used to think he was expressionless, used to think that his brother was just fucking with him when he said he could tell if Lan Wangji was mad, or concerned or embarrassed, but now he realizes that it must have been true.

Lan Wangji is anything but expressionless after all.

“Surprising, I know,” Jiang Cheng gives back, just a little bit too late and a little bit too biting, and Lan Wangji tugs on his hair in retaliation.

“No bad thoughts in bed,” Lan Wangji decidedly says and sits up, so that he can easily smooth his hand over Jiang Cheng’s forehead as if he wants to chase all of his bad thoughts away.

Jiang Cheng huffs out a bitter laugh because what other kind of thoughts are there to have, when the man in his bed, the man he loves—as stupid as that might be—is only with him to chase the lingering image of Jiang Cheng’s dead brother.

There really isn’t anything good about any of this.

“You’re offering to distract me?” Jiang Cheng asks over his shoulder, a clear suggestion in his voice, because for all that they clash in almost everything else—personality, parenting style, values—they are almost scarily compatible in this.

“There is still time,” Lan Wangji agrees with a nod, and slides his hand from Jiang Cheng’s forehead to his neck, and uses it to tug him closer.

Jiang Cheng follows his lead easily, but when Lan Wangji’s lips meet his, Jiang Cheng’s eyes start to burn. 

The kiss is too sweet, too intimate, and not at all what Jiang Cheng can handle right now. But he knows that if he simply pulls away Lan Wangji will have questions; questions Jiang Cheng is in no way equipped to answer and so instead he presses closer, opens his mouth and deepens the kiss.

Lan Wangji hesitates for a moment, clearly noticing that something is wrong but when Jiang Cheng tugs on his lower lip with his teeth, Lan Wangji gives in.

It’s always a sure-fire way to distract Lan Wangji and it works like a charm this time as well.

Lan Wangji does not manage to get up at five that morning.

~*~*~

Jiang Cheng feels like someone pulled out the ground from under him.

Wei Wuxian is back. He’s in a different body, but it’s still him, Jiang Cheng is sure of that. He’s wearing his trademark black, the red ribbon dangling down his back, a flute in his hand and capturing Lan Wangji’s attention almost effortlessly.

Jiang Cheng’s eyes are glued to where Lan Wangji’s hand—the same hand that just a few days ago was buried in Jiang Cheng’s hair—encircles Wei Wuxian’s wrist.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji says, clearly coming to the same conclusion that Jiang Cheng had reached, and the words threaten to burn Jiang Cheng alive.

He’s going to lose this, he realizes with a start; he’s going to lose the one good thing in his life he has besides Jin Ling and Lan Sizhui. 

Jiang Cheng is going to lose Lan Wangji and he can’t even be mad about it. Lan Wangji wasn’t his to begin with.

Jiang Cheng always knew that it was all borrowed; the affection, the shared life. It was only bestowed upon Jiang Cheng because he is Wei Wuxian’s brother.

It’s all rightfully Wei Wuxian’s and Jiang Cheng is sure that he will have it back in no time. 

Jiang Cheng can’t tear his eyes away from the gentle hold Lan Wangji has on Wei Wuxian’s arms and he wants to rage and to scream, to beg his brother to not take this away from him, too, but he knows he doesn’t have that right.

What he and Lan Wangji have is born out of hate, no matter if it changed for Jiang Cheng or not. Lan Wangji won’t spare him a second thought now that the real recipient of his affections is back.

Jiang Cheng knows that he should stay—that’s his brother after all—but when Wei Wuxian mutters “Lan Zhan” he tears himself away from the scene.

Their reunion is not something he wants to see and he also doesn’t need to have it thrown into his face that he’s only the second choice, yet again.

So Jiang Cheng turns and walks away from them without a look back.

It will take him time to accept that Lan Wangji will no longer be a constant presence at Lotus Pier—he still hasn’t entirely learned to accept that Wei Wuxian is no longer there after all—and he might as well get started on that.

Jiang Cheng pretends he doesn’t hear Lan Sizhui’s and Jin Ling’s calls after him, and gets on Sandu to take off.

He refuses to be bitter when Lan Wangji doesn’t come after him because this is what he expected after all.

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian will have their reunion and Jiang Cheng will be alone in Lotus Pier. Like it should have been all these years.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t hurry home, he takes his time flying to calm his painfully beating heart but he still startles when he sees Lan Wangji waiting at the pier Jiang Cheng normally lands at.

“How the fuck did you get here so fast?” Jiang Cheng snaps out even before touches down, and he half expects to see Wei Wuxian just around the corner as well, but there is no way Lan Wangji would have been faster than Jiang Cheng if he had to carry another person.

“You took your time,” Lan Wangji gives back and there’s a worried frown on his face.

Jiang Cheng knows this because Jiang Cheng learned to interpret his many different frowns by now and he really wishes Lan Wangji was still an unreadable book to him.

“What do you want?” Jiang Cheng bites out and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

He does not want to have this conversation right now, though he knows that it’s going to hurt now as much as it will a week or even a month from now.

He should probably be grateful that Lan Wangji took some precious time he could spend with Wei Wuxian to tell him immediately where they stand.

Lan Wangji takes a step towards him, and Jiang Cheng takes a reflexive step back.

“It’s okay,” he forces out, even though it’s anything but. “You don’t have to explain. I understand.”

“I don’t think you do,” Lan Wangji gives back and there’s a displeased tone to his voice and the frown is still firmly in place, too.

Jiang Cheng had really hoped Lan Wangji would spare him this, but it doesn’t seem like he’ll get lucky.

“Wanyin,” Lan Wangji says and he steps closer so fast that Jiang Cheng doesn’t have a chance to retreat further.

“Wanyin,” Lan Wangji says again, even softer than before and Jiang Cheng can’t fight him when he reaches for his hand.

“What?” Jiang Cheng snaps out because he doesn’t know what’s happening and he doesn’t know if he can trust it.

“It’s in the past,” Lan Wangji says and Jiang Cheng flinches at his words.

To think that Lan Wangji managed to close that chapter of their lives so quickly really damn hurts, but Lan Wangji is shaking his head at him.

“Wei Ying. That’s the past,” Lan Wangji explains. “He was my first love, but we were young then. Things changed. They changed for me,” Lan Wangji admits and Jiang Cheng’s heart is beating so fast, he fears it might jump out of his chest.

He wants to ask how things have changed but then Lan Wangji is already so close that their chests brush with every breath they take.

“It’s you now,” Lan Wangji whispers into the space between them and Jiang Cheng wants to keep that slight smile on his face forever.

“This is not what we started with,” Jiang Cheng blurts out, because he can’t quite believe that Lan Wangji would choose him over Wei Wuxian but Lan Wangji only shrugs.

“But it’s what we turned into, isn’t it?” he wants to know and Jiang Cheng’s breath leaves him in a rush.

He slumps forward, his forehead resting on Lan Wangji’s shoulder and he just breathes in his scent for a few long, wonderful moments.

“Yes,” he then breathes out and when Lan Wangji carefully lifts Jiang Cheng’s head, he is composed enough to meet him in a kiss.

Jiang Cheng didn’t think he would get to keep this, and so he maybe clings more tightly to Lan Wangji than he has to, but Lan Wangji’s hands on him are definitely leaving bruises and Jiang Cheng doesn’t mind that at all. 

Quite the opposite, really, because Jiang Cheng is glad to know that he wasn’t the only one who was scared to lose this.