#vlvt

My mum and dad always used to build us blanket forts when we were kids. Daddy was about structure and mum always knew how to make any barren space cozy within minutes. Whether that was with her own radiating warmth or a snug quilt, I couldn't tell. But she was the creator of everything that felt like home. Abhi and I would then want to bring our toys inside, or most times books and board games. There wasn't enough space for the four of us to spread out comfortably, but we'd always scootch around to fit. Feeling more like a family there than anywhere else. Mum would bring in butter biscuits or dry fruits most times, and hot mugs of deliciously malty Bournvita, which we were very careful not to spill inside our precious fort. Everything was simple and grandiose at the same time. Everything was perfection. I no longer build real forts to hide out in today. Only metaphorical ones. Today I hide out in restroom cubicles, quiet corners in parks, behind tall chairs in conference rooms, under a misty shower, in the guise of anonymous commentator on social media, behind my smile... but most of all in the arms of my human fort. Strong and gently, he cradles me from everything I attempt to outrun and conceal myself from. In these arms I've found that I can face cruel critics, unsolicited advice, racism, body shaming, prudes and literally every kind of poor excuse for humanity that walk the earth disguised as people who mean well. So, in its reality, this is not hiding at all. In this reality I've realised that I'm only waiting out a storm. I'm not in disguise or running away. I have realised that I no longer need to hide. Let me say this... We all need human forts, but let's also learn to be human forts for those that truly need it. Flesh shelters for those that need a pit stop. Of love camouflage and earthly chameleons.

I am happy. I love London. I spend every day working very hard to validate bravado, having quit my job to come to a new country to make something of myself at, what many may consider, a tricky age. I also spend most days with my closest friend and other people I've only recently gotten to know.