you elude me,
my Beloved. your nectarous call trickles in my ears and i run to you, maddened.
i run to you, enamoured, clothed by longing and with tears as jewels.
i run to you, bare, silk dress in shreds, ripped slippers.
i’ve been running to you since before i was born. i am tired, Hari. my dignity and pride are long forgotten. my toenails are cracked, the skin peels off my feet. my hair is rumpled, my breasts are bruised; your wayward bride.
whenever i get close to throwing myself at your feet my mind entangles me. my wrongs push against my bones and i fall on my face. my blood smears the ground and i grovel. i cry. i howl.
when your nectarous call trickles in my ears, i jolt forwards. and i run to you, maddened.
~ poem to Madhav, published in Śabda Magazine, volume II. my offering of longing as we approach the auspicious day of Vijayadaśamī! may we be victorious in our quest to merge with the Divine Beloved.
photo: aegina, greece, 2018.
