things are getting really bad again.

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things are getting really bad again.

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i hate everything and everyone
iâm going to actually start screaming and crying i fucking canât i canât i canât ic any ic any i canât i canât.
everyone talks about what itâs like to have an overachieving sibling, the one with good grades and whatnot, but nobody ever talks about what itâs like to be that kid. i do anything to get my parents attention. getting a B stresses me out a C makes me cry. i seek validation from anyone and everyone.
why doesnât anyone care for me?

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yes, i am really really upset last night okay?? you want to know why iâm upset?
last night i told you i needed attention, you said i could have it after you tucked your sister in. you did so and then went straight back to playing games.
last night i told you i was really sad and you tried to help, which i appreciate, but then later when i was being sad you asked if i was upset. i then told you âsad, i said earlierâ and you responded either âoh i forgotâ
last night i said âi might as well go to bed because there is no point in getting my hopes up over something i know i wonât receiveâ talking about getting attention from you. you responded âtrue, I love you, goodnight honeyâ
YOU HURT ME TOO ITS NOT ALWAYD MY FUCKING FAULT you DUMBASS GOD WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS STOP WEAPONIZING YOUR FEELUNG WHEN IM BEING SENSISTIVE YOU DONT GET YO USE ME HURTING YOU AGAINSY ME WHEN I SAY HOE you HURT ME ULU INSENSITIVE LITTLE ORINK OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU MSKE ME SI MAD AND I FUCKING CANT HESUS CHRIST.
i literally have no one anymore