#ventfic

...

When he became a doctor, you really didn't know what to believe. At first you thought nothing of it, until it came to his checkups.

Out of six sons, one is working? Ouch. Even you didn't wanna believe it when you heard about it.

And the glances, and the cheap medicine. And the sheer abundance of it, that medicine became. He was worried for you, for a while now- but what the fuck? You felt like a sugar baby. Not like you couldn't afford your own medicine. You didn't know to take pride that people wanted to spoil you, or to be upset over him thinking he had any right to hold this responsibility with you. For you. That just wasn't his role to choose, and you never asked him for help. You didn't. Who said he had any right to step into your life like this? You didn't want to be indebted to him. It wasn't kindness. You guys barely spoke. It was embarrassing.

Can he just stop?

"I'm sorry?" *Oh, did I say that out loud?*

Looking at him, he looked unsettled. Like he wasn't used to you being mad. Like he wasn't used to *you*. You guys dated a bit in high school, and sort of kept in contact after. You lived in the same town, so running into him was evident in nature. He knows you're a little.. snappy, I guess.

"..nevermind. My mind was off somewhere else." "Everything okay?" "Yes."

You've been less active recently, never heading out or running into him. Over the holidays, you've been alternating between sleeping at home and the occasional hospital visit. Truth was you haven't been well. You couldn't go to work. Hospital was just an excuse, you needed the papers. You didn't know what to think, anymore, and when. One way to escape thinking altogether was to sleep in the hospital, blowing through your money.

He seemed to know you weren't fine. These acts of charity...

He knew you wouldn't deny. Actually, you couldn't speak up. About anything. You just wanted him to buzz off. One more nuisance to..

"Y/n, y/n?" "A-ah, right, yes, s--so..rry."

You bowed your head. Weirding yourself out-- to treat him so formally, respectfully. He knew you thought nothing of him, and barely had any respect left for yourself, too. You dressed yourself in whatever, but had to look presentable nowadays knowing he'd just pry more if you didn't. This bitch-

"Are you.. overwhelmed?" "Huh?" "Your face is red. Do you have a fever? Let's check again." "Ah.. okay."

He placed the apparatus in your ear. Well you did feel faint. He said to rest more, and handed you some water.

Well!! You really couldn't tell him!! That it was none of his business!! Ahh.. you wanted a drink.

He knew you weren't actually sick. It hurt to see someone treat you and your health so seriously, and dance around the subject so carefully. This was all professional, remember? Stop getting all up in my face and do your job.. else I start feeling bad about it, too. Taking away the one thing I don't want to lose, total absence.

"Can.. uh." "Hm?" "Can I.... s." He leaned in closer. "canireducetheamountefconsultations-" "..m?" Did he pretend not to hear you?! No, wait. You spoke too fast.

"Can I.. please.. u-um, leave?" "What? I mean, yes, of course, self admissions are--" "No, n-no.. toilet." "Ah." He paused. Or were you looking too much into it? "Okay. I'll be here."

"Ichimatsu, I'm leaving the hospital," You announced before closing the door, praying it was loud enough for him to hear. You felt off. Just off. You couldn't explain it any other way.

You hated yourself for wasting his time. I mean, it was part of his job, but still. You were so useless you couldn't do a simple thing like a hospital consultation--

No, you couldn't handle a friend. Especially one that showed up unannounced.

You didn't go to that hospital anymore.

The fees were gone, you were just waiting. The day that will come tomorrow, where you'll need to go get paid, go work, go study.

Ah... you wanted to die.

Closing the 7/11, the staff wasn't expecting your late visit. You thought they were open 24/7. Grabbing a few drinks to have at the park, who cared if you'd shown up drunk tomorrow? Who should.. it matter? To..

He was in your face. "What."

Dressed in slacks, he looked.. like shit. He just looked like shit. Under this convenience store lighting, in his shitty dumbass sandals, he looked like he just woke up. Did work do that to a person? His hair was messed up. Or did you just never notice? You were always looking at the floor, after all. Huh? "Ah.. is the store closed?" Apparently it closed early on holidays, looking at the sign he seemed stuck on. What the fuck? He didn't even notice you?

Leaving the convenience store, you looked at your plastic bag. "Hey." He looked back, alert. He knew you by your voice. Your disappearance didn't work at all, huh? "Wanna have a drink?"

You had held up the bag a bit. While he stared, you looked for a good spot. You usually sat at just anywhere, but would that be good? "A..ah. Yeah, sure." At least now you wouldn't feel indebted to him.

Sitting down by the nearest lamp, you put the plastic bag at your lap. It wasn't much, but definitely enough for two. You hadn't been thinking about how much would get you drunk, so you just got whatever felt good for the next few hours. "I won't be at the hospital anymore, so you can rest easy." He nodded, as you handed him a beer. It was cold out, and he was wearing slippers? Seriously? Even you had put on something warm. "Were you glad? To hear it?" Nursing your beer, he asked you if you couldn't sleep. "Mm."

You breathed out, watching the steam dissolve. "And you're out for the cats?" "..yeah."

Taking off your scarf, you thought that if he was cold, you might as well be cold, too. The beer would be fine instead, anyway.

You wanted to cry. "I can't sleep at all.."

Downing a second can, you sighed. It felt better, to know that you'd be off sleeping soon. Drinks knocked you out. That you'd forget this.. you had bad memory for little details like these. When, how, where, whats. You just remembered feelings.

Drinking, you could really get teary. You could do anything. You could blame it on the drinks. Of course you wouldn't do anything, but it just felt nice to remember that could forgive yourself drunk. You could sob, and shake and groan, and all would be forgiven. He wouldn't even remember. "How can you take care of me when you can't even take care of yourself, mm?" You grumbled, wrapping a scarf around him.

"..did you drink anything today?" "What?" "N-no, I mean.. never mind." He murmured, taking his second can as well. You moved onto your third. "If you're worried about me being dehydrated again.. don't. I can't deal with this much, y'know?" "I don't care." "Then don't ask!"

"I just.. it's out of habit." "Well you'll fix it someday." "Yeah.."

"Oy, Ichimatsu." "Hm?" "I'll tell you what. Caring for a girl means you go all the way. Go fill up this can with the water fountain pretty-pretty pleeease..." You dealt an empty can towards him as he leaned away- a scorn on his face. "Not your butler." "Do it!!!"

He brought out a coin. "I'll flip it to decide who goes." "No. No. No." "Let's just go together then.." "..fine."

Somehow, being lazy together makes it easier. Walking over and drinking the filled can, you were surprised by how fast you finished it. So you really were dehydrated.

"Y'know, I can just write you letters." "Huh?!!!" "Yeah. You don't even need to come. It's not like we're that big a clinic." "Holy cow, seriously??" "Yeah. Whatever you want, it's not much for me." "It's okay??" "Said it was." "Serious?? Are you serious?? I feel like I shouldn't do all that though?? Like, am I even allowed to do that?? Morally speaking??" "I don't care. Just do whatever."

He sipped the beer. "Have you been taking the medicine?" "A-ah! No, I haven't.." "They're actually not painkillers. You didn't need them, so I just replaced them with those vitamin candies we gave kids." "Ah. What the fuck?" "Yeah. I'm surprised you don't know." Growing up, you did always love to eat those little vitamin pills the clinic gave when you were sick. You made sure to take them from now on. "Ah! I actually have some on me right now.." You shuffled around it your jacket pocket, and pulled out a packet. "Ooh! You're right, they look just like the ones I got when I was younger!" "Ah, I'm glad you like.."

He watched as you took the entire packet at once. He blinked, and reached for an empty can and filled it with water.

"Y/n, if you take that many with just beer and a can of water in your system, you'll throw up quick." He sounded shocked. In disbelief. "Ah, that so?" You chugged two cans of water. Ahh, it was refreshing. You really needed that water.

About that. You suddenly didn't feel an itch to drink anymore. Did you have enough water already? You felt full.

You looked to the rest of the cans. "What's wrong?" "Well.. it'll take long for me to get anywhere without an empty stomach." "...seriously? Like two cups of water and a packet of vitamin C and you're full?" "Haha, I know right? I have no clue how I do it, either. I'm usually such a fatass with food. Guess it's 'cause I'm sleepy."

You downed another can of beer. You'd pee soon, anyway. Wouldn't hurt to have one more.

"Hey.. can I have tomorrow off?" "Mm? Yeah, sure. Not like I care." "Woohoo!" You cheered, breathing in the midnight air. Suddenly, it didn't feel so stuffy anymore. "Ahh.. shoot. I need to piss." You looked around, holy shit it was far. Or maybe you just felt lazy. "Ichi. Piggyback me." "I'll drag you." You two walked to the bathrooms, with you groaning and muttering the whole way. "I'm siiiiick... of dragging my ass around, god damnit." "I'll cure it.. with paper."

You came out the toilet, and you couldn't see him.

You felt really scared. Like, really scared. It was dark out. There was no wind, just quiet.

"Boo." You screamed.

"Holy shit. I almost pissed myself." "I-- I'm bad with stuff like this, okay?! I can barely even go to the toilet at night!" "Oh.. I know two people who can't, now." "Are you fucking crazy?! Apologise!"

You felt unsteady. You hadn't eaten anything the whole day. He noticed how slow you were walking, and proposed to bring you home. "Don't push yourself." "I hope someone pees on you, fartface." "I don't wanna walk you anymore."

...

You were in his care.

Sitting in the driveway of your own house, you watched him come with a packet of dried fish and medicine. You had fallen ill.

He sat by you and drank some water. "Y'know, I've actually never seen a car here." "Oh.. it's my mom's, she comes and visits sometimes. Maybe you never saw it back in high school because she was always off working." "Right. I don't think I ever met your mom." "I'm... not sure. I don't remember much of anything back then. I just remember the general gist of things.." You blew your nose. "Right," He rummaged around in his bag, giving you anti-inflammatories and some other stuff to take with that protects your stomach lining. It was nice to be taken care of like this. It's like your mom's home.

Mourning the loss of your independence and unset boundaries, you took the medicine and watched the garage wall. "Ah. I forgot the note." "..wanna write it inside?" "Sure."

He was in your room again.

Sitting on the floor, he logged into his account on your computer and printed out a note. You sat on the bed, looking. The process was interesting, and quiet. The clacking and whirring..

"Y/n." "Whuh?"

He placed his hand on your forehead and frowned. Your fever. "I thought you were getting better." "You did say it was gonna take a few days.." "Yeah, with your body. This is bad. Maybe you've been eating too little." "..mm."

You murmured, touching your hair. It was hard to stay awake. "'m gonna take a nap." "Tch.."

Setting a glass of water on your bedside table, you heard his footsteps fade.

You woke up sneezing.

Stepping out of the bedroom, you went to the fridge and threw away your forehead patch. ..was that there before? You weren't sure if you had put one on..

Grabbing at a new one, you closed the fridge, turning around to see.. miso soup!! Right on the table!

Looking around, you began to sit down and eat.

*Delicious!*

...

The snow stopped outside.

"Could you not?" The items on your desk were rearranged. Your pencils were put away. "I got bored."

You had a high fever. He fed you water, and woke you up for food. Which was usually soup. Yum. You couldn't believe you were actually skipping out on work because of sickness. You felt proper, somehow.

He switched out your cooling patch. "I'll be going home soon." "W-wait." You stirred. "I'm cold."

He sighed and brought you a cup of warm water and a hand warmer. "Say ahh." "Aa..."

"I feel like I'm in an elderly care centre..hehe.." "Yeah. I feel like a hell of a nurse." Before he could get up and leave again, you convinced him to stay. You wanted a bedtime story. It was scary being up so late on your own, you had only recently heard a bunch of stories cannibalism related. Everything was scary.

He stayed by your side until you fell back asleep. You didn't hear him leave.

Waking up to the sun, you felt better. Like, spick and span, like never better. Was it the soup? You haven't had anything home cooked in ages. Your legs had gone numb, and you were about to bring your fist down to wake them until you almost punched Ichimatsu square in the face.

Confused for one second, then realising he fell asleep in the next, you slowly slimed your way out of bed and covered him with a blanket.

Could he afford to sleep in, actually? Didn't he have a job to do?

Taking milk out of the fridge, wait, didn't he have a job to do?

Looking back at your room and watching him strut out and towards the main entrance with his eyes closed, you wondered how he took care of you the whole time you were sick. Didn't he have work?

He yelled outside your door, and ran off. Oh. He did have work, didn't he? He forgot to go home and change, too. Did he usually set alarms, here?

Has he been sleeping here?

Did he take days off?

..whatever. Thinking back on it was useless. You were so sick, everything was a blur.

You just hoped you didn't drool too much as you slept.

This feeling won't go away.

As he sat at your desk, and you took your meds, you had not met him at the garage in a while. Purely because you were too lazy. You needed him out. Out. You needed alone time, for what, forever?

He wrote you another slip. "Ichimatsu." "Hm?"

You eyed him. "..nothing."

How could you..? Get the slips.. without..

"..Ichimatsu." "What is it." Eek!

He checked you for a fever. You closed your eyes as his hand reached your forehead again.

"Ichi!" "What." "I'm... fine! So.." Gaze cast around your room, you sounded exasperated. "...........I'll be in your care." Oh, yeah. You couldn't say it. You couldn't live without him. You didn't wanna go to work. You didn't wanna make food. You didn't wanna get out of bed. You didn't wanna think. Ahh, whatever. No decision! The answer always is to do nothing and forget you ever thought! "..okay."

SHIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!

You're stuck with him.

You went back under your covers, staring daggers at the wall, while he typed away at your computer.

The sound was nice.

You fell asleep.

"Y/n?"

You were awake, staring at the ceiling. "Y/n."

"...yes?" "Wanna head out? The plum trees are blooming." "..you should go without me. I'm still sleepy... a little bit." "Okay."

He stalked off, and you got out of bed.

You wanted to watch them too!!!!!!!!!

Walking out the house in your pajamas, you were met with his face, "I thought you'd reconsider."

"I.. don't.. know." "Let's go, before it gets dark."

Your feelings toward him were complicated, and disregarded. You didn't want to worry. So you didn't think it.

One late night, you were laying still on your bed. You felt like a skank. Always letting him in just because he treated you to favors. Because he treated you well. Because he respects you. You needed him, practically used him, this guy who you barely knew. You felt cheap. Easy. This guy who you never cared to.. ahh, forget it.

You were stressed out. Too much to think about.

The next day, he got mad at you. You hurt him, disrespected him. Apparently his patience wasn't limitless, after all. You had gotten fish, that he was in charge of raising. "*You can't even take care of yourself,*" Somehow what he said felt familiar.

You had met up with an old friend, who went to go find fish for the new year with you. It was always auspicious to have fish in the house, and they gave you a bag too after confirming you had a fish tank.

You had forgotten to put the fish in the tank. Ichimatsu was so mad that he stormed out immediately after getting everything ready for the fish. If he had noticed any later..

You were shaking.

He didn't come anymore.

You showered, and went out to the clinic. He wasn't gonna come anymore? That wasn't right, he used to come over every day. Today he didn't even show up.

You waited outside the clinic until closing hours. He didn't even look at you when he left.

You clenched at your chest, taking a deep breath. Was your only option to die?!

I'll do better?! No, no.. I miss you?! *what?!*

He was getting farther and farther away. "I know.. I know, I know, so, I'm sorry.."

Your voice was weak, and you had stood tense at the door. "Ichimatsu.."

Fighting the tears that you knew would only come to be of nuisance, you tried to close the gap between you and him.

Aah. No good. You might just kill yourself.

Running home, you called your friend to take back the fish and never left your bed since.

*I'm horrible*

...

You woke up to him one day. "Afternoon." "Ah.. I keep forgetting you have a spare key." Hair messy, he sat on the floor, and drank some tea.

You got out of bed, and knelt in front of him. "I'm sorry." "Mm." "I.. I.. um.." Clutching at nothing, you evened your breathing. "It's.. I can't.. I can't, um.."

You wanted to cry. "I'll.. I'll.. I don't know how to make you feel better, because I don't know you.. I can't.. remember a single thing.."

You didn't know how to make people feel better because you didn't even know how to make you feel better.

"Please.. don't.. go."

You bowed your head to the floor.

"Stay with me forever..."

Neither of you knew how small your voice was. "Creepy." "E-eh?" "Creepy. It's like you don't care about my life outside you.. what about my future girlfriend? Wife? How do I get a life outside you?" "I.." Your voice caught in your throat.

"Let's get married,"

Peeking out at him, you immediately looked back down. Holy shit you could piss yourself dead. Those dead-fish eyes.. absent from love and compassion.. looked like they wanted to kill you. No; you are already dead. This is an after image.

"Listen," He sounded muffled, and you peeked out again to see he's cupped a hand over his mouth. "I'll let you answer me again. Think properly."

"I'm serious!" "Dude.." "I-- I.. I.." Speaking into the floor, "..I..."

Your voice was wobbling. No; you hated this.. your knees were the ones shaking. You've never been so dumb. This feeling.. that you couldn't do anything. That you can't do anything. You can only pray. For forgiveness. You couldn't imagine a bleaker future. "Think properly." Biting your lip, you blubbered.

"Huh?" "sfgssfsdh" "What. Spit it." "Hfssfdfssfg" "Y/n." "I'll.. show you. I'm not.. asking for too much."

You couldn't even focus your eyes. You couldn't do anything.

"How?" You didn't know.

"Give me one week! I'll prove.. hghck.. I'll prove it.. please.. t..trust me, just one last time.."

You couldn't tell, but he had a hell of a boner.

"Sit up." You responded meek, sitting up with your head bowed.

"...I just wanted you to say you wouldn't do it again. Got it?" Nodding gratefully, tears began to pool at your eyes, "You hurt my feelings. Don't do what you did again. Don't.. stress the small stuff."

Of course that's not what he wanted. But hell if he wasn't in a better mood yet. Hell, he doesn't know if he's ever felt this way. You were, in full spirit and understanding, completely for him like a dog. You shook with his every word. He could reward, or punish you. Your dynamic was so fucked up.

"I'll have the next week off. Let's go see the new cat cafe in town." "Yes! Yes, of course, yes.."

You were sobbing.

as soon as the bus came to a stop the mystery twin duo practically jumped up out of their seats. ignoring the brief shouts from the bus rider about staying put until the bus was at a complete stop, the twins darted out of the vehicle to meet with the equally as excited faces of their grunkles stan and ford.

"grunke stan! grunkle ford!" the two had greeted in near unison. mabel, ever the far more energetic of the twins, didn't hesitate to jump stan in a hug.

"whoa whoa there kid, you tryin to kill your old man?" the codger had grumbled out in protest, though the way his own face breaks out into a bright smile as he wraps his arms around her show that he missed her just as much.

"welcome back, my boy." ford had cooed as he and dipper embraced in a much calmer hug. emotion swelled in dipper's heart, and he responded through a knot in his throat,

"i'm glad to be back."

'my boy' he thinks. because that's who he was. here in gravity falls, he was no longer some little girl. he was a beloved great nephew, he was a brother, he was dipper pines. the relief behind these thoughts make tears spring to his eyes, and to his relief if ford notices his emotional moment he chooses not to comment on it.

"alright, i don't know about you two but i'm just about ready to have breakfast. and i'm guessing you two dinguses hadn't eaten yet, either?" stan spoke up to which mabel chimed in,

"i mean, duh! we wanted to have a reunion breakfast!" stan let out a faux yawn.

"well, i guess i could make us all some stancakes, but i better not catch you trying to add in some weird candy dinosaur things to the batter, kid!"

~ ~ ~

breakfast between the four of them was nothing less than a lively affair. despite stan's warnings, mabel had naturally managed to turn her own pancakes into what dipper could only described as a rainbow colored death wish of syrup and sprinkles.

and despite his lack of breakfast, dipper himself could barely do more than poke around his own smaller serving of stancakes. between a dull ache in his body and remaining pain of the events from back in california made the concept of eating a wholly unappealing one.

while stan and mabel were too distracted with their own conversation to pay this any mind, dipper sees ford shoot him a brief look of concern which he quietly waves off.

once breakfast had been finished, their grunkles assured the younger twins that they had the dishes taken care of and shooed them upstairs to unpack their things.

"hey, dipper?" mabel's words break through the brief moment of silent unpacking that had taken the two in the attic, her unusually soft tone feeling like a harsh reminder of everything that had happened before their arrival back at the small oregon town. "don't you think we should tell them what ha-"

"no." he cut in harshly before quickly adding, "i just… i don't think i'm ready to relive that whole mess just yet…" he sighs and adds in, under his breath. "i just want to be able to be dipper for a while…"

"you know you'll always be dipper to all of us. stan and ford wouldn't treat you badly for being different." the words 'unlike mom and dad' hang in the air, unsaid but understood by both parties.

dipper looks down at his half unpacked suitcase, the shouts of his parents echoing in his mind as he swallowed down the knot in his throat.

"i will tell them, just…" he takes a deep breath, trying to calm his shaking voice. "…just not yet."

a part of him almost expected mabel to push him to tell them, to say that honesty is the best policy and that he would feel better once he explained everything. however, mabel simply put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

~ ~ ~

the dawn of the first official day of summer began with excrutiating pain in dipper's lower gut signaling an unwelcome crimson visitor.

several days of dull pain made the blood shed that morning not all that surprising, and yet he wants to sob as he cleans himself up in the bathroom. of course. as if his present situation hadn't made his dysphoria bad enough already, mother nature would taunt him further with her wholly unwanted and unwelcome visit.

forcing the added stress and pain to the back of his mind with everything else, he pops some pain pills and tries not to let his agony show as he slowly wanders down the stairs. immediately he's aware of the smell of smoke and he follows it to the kitchen to find the source to be a pan of half burnt eggs. stan seems to be attempting to teach mabel to cook with… mixed results. dipper simply shakes his head and takes a seat at the table where he sees his great uncle ford nursing a cup of coffee, seemingly unbothered by the duo's antics at the stove.

"good morning, my boy." he had greeted dipper before furrowing his brow. "are you feeling alright, you look pale." he added, the boy's pain evidently not being hidden well enough.

"i'm fine, grunkle ford, just… tired is all…" he assured, even taking an apple off the table to eat despite the fact that eating was currently the last thing he wanted to do. robotically he forces himself to take a bite out of the fruit as his great uncle continues speaking.

"well, dipper, i was going to ask if you wanted to accompany me on a walk around the forest, but if you're not feeling well enough than we-"

"nononono! we can go for a walk if you want to." he quickly cut in. despite his current state making him want nothing more than to lay in bed with a good book, dipper really doesn't think he wants to spend the day alone in his room. even if the cramps kill him, he really wants to spend time with his family. ford seems surprised by his answer but quickly recovers.

"oh! alright then, we can go after breakfast if that's alright with you."

"sounds good to me, i'll go grab my shoes!"

the apple would be left forgotten on the table.

~ ~ ~

the gravity falls forest is a beauty to behold. the morning sunlight streams through the canopy of the trees above and the life of the forest around the two of them makes itself known through the chattering of the birds to the gentle trots of the deer to even the little bugs and other odd beings that live in the strange forest.

ahead of dipper, ford is happily going on about the different sorts of flora and fauna in the woods, about the new creatures that seemed to have appeared since the last summer and pointing out anything of interest to his great nephew who tries his best to listen as he trudges alone but it's difficult to focus on much of anything through the haze of pain radiating from his lower gut.

he sees ford stop in place, looking to dipper with barely hidden worry.

"dipper, are you sure you're feeling alright? you know you can tell me if you're hurt, right?" ford had asked, and between the genuine care his great uncle was showing him on top of the pain he was still in it was taking all of dipper's self control to not burst into tears right then and there. he can just barely nod in response. his great uncle doesn't seem to buy it one bit but aside from a tense sigh he doesn't push the issue and continues on their trek.

as he forces himself foward to keep up with ford, the hunger and pain seem to mix into one big blob of bad that seems to seem into dipper's very bones. he doesn't know how long he goes on for until he finds himself leaning against a tree, holding his midsection as the pain felt like knives stabbing into him mercilessly.

"dipper, enough is enough, you need to tell me what's…" his greak uncle's shout of panic trailed of and pure shame filled dipper when he realized why; trails of blood were running down his legs.

dipper, suddenly filled with pure shame, could only look away in embarrassment. inwardly he wished that a hole would open up underneath him. for the earth to swallow him whole so he wouldn't have to face ford after he saw him like this. although dipper had mostly grown out of his hero worship of his mysterious lost grunkle after weirdmageddon, ford was still someone he had a high opinion of. and now that he saw dipper like this… was he disgusted of him? ashamed? would he regret letting dipper come back to visit? the thought finally brings tears to his eyes.

before he can spiral further, however, he feels ford's hand on his shoulder.

"dipper, dipper, can you look at me? …i'm not mad, dipper, i just need to know if you're alright." he briefly looks up and through his tears he sees that ford's expression betrayed no digust or shame or even so much as frustration. his expression was simply that of a caring family member that was deeply worried about him.

"do you want to go back to the shack?" he simply asks. dipper nods, a feeling of guilt settling into his ribs at the thought that he might've ruined their outing.

"dipper, it's alright, we can go on a walk another day." ford, seemingly reading dipper's mind, gently assured him. no other words were exchanged on the way back to the shack, and it wouldn't be until the two were settled back home with dipper able to clean himself up did time come for some explaining. stan and mabel, who quickly seemed to catch onto the quiet mood around the other two, had also chose to be present for it. and despite dipper's humiliation over the whole situation, he was thankful for his twin's added presence of support as he readied himself to come out, desperately hoping for it to go better than it had the last time.

"…my name wasn't always dipper…" he starts after a moment of thought. looking up for a moment, both of his grunkles are attentive and patient, and so he summons the courage to continue. "growing up, i always felt like i wasn't supposed to be a girl. even when my parents told me that all girls feel that way. and i started to realize that maybe i wasn't a girl at all…" he remembers one sleepless night when he discovered the word that would change everything for him. 'transgender'. suddenly he wasn't some broken mess of a person, suddenly he understood himself in a way he never had before.

"when my parents send me and mabel here to gravity falls, i realized it could've been a chance for me to see how it felt to be seen as a boy for the first time. and when i started using my new name, when everyone was calling me a boy i felt so happy. i felt- i felt like i was finally who i really am for the first time in my life." the memories of the first summer in the town he would come to see as his home brought a smile to his face. and despite all the trials he'd gone through in that summer, he truly felt like he had grown into a strong and proud young man by the end of it all. "i'm sorry for not telling you all sooner." from his spot at the table, stan seemed to take this in.

"kid, i kind of figured you were trans…" dipper looked up at this, face flushed with embarrassment once again.

"you knew?!" he squeaked out and stanley put his hands up in mock surrender.

"i was there when you goobers were born, after all. when you two got off the bus that summer and you were introducing yourself as dipper i just kinda put two and two together. s'not like i've never been around trans people before, kid."

"what my brother is trying to say is that we both love and accept you no matter what." dipper feels a weight lifted off his chest at both of his grunkle's kind words.

"see, dipper, i knew our grunkles wouldn't be like mom and dad."

"mabel, what do you mean by that? did your parents not take it well?" the way the younger twin's moods fell at ford's question was an answer in of itself, and not a good one. mabel's expression changed to that of a barely restrained anger and dipper shrinks in on himself.

When she was six months along, the doctor performing her checkup confirmed her theory, turning the ultrasound screen to her and Fugaku, pointed out the anatomy. Itachi was so excited to be told that not only was he going to be a big brother, he was going to have a little brother, too, and that maybe they would get to train together one day.

Yet, to her surprise, after seventeen hours of labor, the doctor offered her the newborn, proclaiming, “It’s a beautiful baby girl.”

“It happens,” she was told, the next day when the medic came to visit, check up on her and the new baby. “Sometimes the umbilical cord gets stuck between the legs. Ultrasounds aren’t one hundred percent accurate; I thought they would have told you that at your appointment.”

Mikoto had been wrong before, and she was always willing to admit it; but somehow, she felt that this wasn’t one of those times. Maybe she was just stubborn.

At the end of the day, though, her baby was happy, healthy, and just as beautiful as she could have imagined, and that was all she could ask for.

-----

Nearly four years after she gives birth, Mikoto is proven correct.

“I’m Sasuke,” she’s told, and she smiles, squats down in front of her youngest, pats the little mop of blue-black hair, pulls the toddler into a hug. Little pieces of hair are scattered along the bathroom sink, she notices, and a pair of scissors are lying haphazardly on the countertop; she picks them up and quietly starts cutting, fixing, straightening up uneven pieces of hair. She’s no professional, but she doesn’t need to be. This haircut isn’t for aesthetic purposes. This is for her son.

When she’s finished, she looks at her little boy in the mirror and he beams; he can’t stop looking at himself, and Mikoto is so overcome with joy that she doesn’t notice the tears welling up in her eyes until she can’t see their reflection.

“You never did like the dresses your father insisted on putting you in,” she tells him when he asks why she’s crying; she laughs, and she kisses Sasuke’s head, buries her face in his hair. “I suppose it makes sense now, huh?”

“I need to stop cooking for you on my days off.” 

The man sitting on the couch looked sharply up at the speaker.

“Why? I thought you were doing it because you love me?”

“Well. I’m stopping because I love you. I wasn’t being fair to you.”

“That’s ridiculous! It made me happy, and you do things for people you love to make them happy!” The man stood up as he spoke, anger coloring his words.

Logan regretted starting this conversation, but he held his head up.

“I was doing it for you because I hoped you might do it in return. My motivations were about myself, not about you.”

“You’ve always been selfish, haven’t you? First you said you wouldn’t move in with me, and now you won’t cook for me anymore? What sort of boyfriend are you?”

He felt his eyes begin fill with tears. Logan had hoped, maybe, that his boyfriend of two years would understand, but.

“Not any sort of boyfriend. I’m done. Thank you for your time.” He turned on his heel and walked to the door.

“If you walk out of this apartment, don’t ever walk back in, bastard!”

There wasn’t much of a choice. The door clicked behind him with a refreshing finality.

On the drive back to his own apartment, Logan had a thought, and made a detour to the office supply store. When he got what he needed, he sent a quick text to his friends group chat.

                     The Kiddos (Roman, don’t change the name again!)

SpaceBoi: Would any of you be amenable to meeting at my apartment in twenty minutes? I have a small favor to request of you.

ChemicallyImbalanced: I’m down. Roman?

Romance: Of course, Microsoft Nerd! I’ll pick up Hot Topic and we’ll be on our way!

ChemicallyImbalanced: Aww, you think I’m hot

SpaceBoi: You are dating.

Patton-ted: Of course I’ll be there, Teach! I love to help with flavors!

Thoma-llama-ding-dong: Did u mean favors?

Patton-ted: I know what I said. Who wants takeout?

SsssssuckUp: Only if it’s Chinese. Lo, is your spare key still on the doorframe?

SpaceBoi: How are you already at my apartment? And yes.

SsssssuckUp: I was in the area.

Logan’s eyes were stinging with tears.

RESTgurl: dee was planning on moving all your furniture five inches to the left while you were at work

ChemicallyImbalanced: So… Dee’s been at Lo’s apartment all day

RESTgurl: yes

             Betrayers (Patton didn’t say anything about me changing it)

SsssssuckUp: I hate both of you.

                     The Kiddos (Nobody change the name!!)

Patton-ted: Be nice!

SpaceBoi: Dee, I implore you to return at least my couch and coffee table to their rightful positions.

                                 No (I do what I want)

No:… … … … no

Logan sighed and shook his head fondly, turning his car on.

SpaceBoi: I will see you all soon.

 It wasn’t until Patton and Thomas arrived with the takeout that Logan explained what he needed. All of his friends agreed wholeheartedly and got to work.

 A few hours later, Logan had a poster on the ceiling above his bed.

                                            Remember:

                                         Not Every Action

                                         Is A Transaction.

                                                 Love

                                    Without Complexities,

                           In The Way That Brings YOU Joy.

 Each line was in a different handwriting. Virgil’s cramped font, Roman’s sweeping calligraphy, Thomas’ sensible print, Patton’s looping cursive, Dee’s not-quite comic sans, and Remy’s lazy scrawl. At the bottom, in Logan’s own square hand and enough silver-gold glitter to appease Roman, was the name of his new philosophy.

                                           PYRITE RULE

 “Why pyrite, Calculator Watch?”

“The colloquial term for pyrite is Fool’s Gold. I personally believe it is quite fitting.”

Lotor felt… strangely uncomfortable. At his previous university, no one would have dared to speak to him like that, but he didn’t have the same reputation here at Voltron University that he did at Galra University (for a good reason – he rather hoped, actually, that no one would make the connection between Lotor Imperator, son of President Zarkon Imperator of Galra University, and Lotor “Sincline” here at Voltron University). He froze for a moment, biting back a harsh reply and composing himself before saying, “I do apologize for my speed; however, you underestimate your own. I did see you right before you hit, but I simply did not have enough time to properly react.”

She glared at him with fury in her large, honey-colored eyes. She was probably trying to intimidate him or at least make him feel the force of her wrath, but she mostly just looked rather cute and child-like with her wide eyes behind her large glasses. Her short, reddish-brown hair was doing her no favors either as it fluffed around her round face and made her look pretty adorable. She reminded Lotor of an anime character or a particularly grumpy kitten.

She glared at him for at least five seconds before she finally broke eye contact with a huff and said, “Fine, whatever. Can you at least help me pick up my books?” Without waiting for a reply, she began gathering her stuff and shoving it back into her too-small backpack.

Lotor began to help her gather up her books, but he’d only picked up a few when he heard her cry of dismay. He looked over to see her gingerly picking up her obviously-damaged laptop. She opened the screen to reveal cracks spread across the screen from the lower right corner, emanating outwards like rays of light while twisting and branching like lightning. It would have been almost beautiful if it wasn’t such a costly loss.

“Damn it!” the girl yelled. “Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck…” She carefully pressed the button to turn it on, and her expression was simultaneously relieved and pained when the screen came on, illuminating the cracks but proving that the computer itself still worked aside from the broken screen. She gently closed the laptop before taking her flannel shirt tied around her waist and using it to wrap up the broken piece of tech to protect it from further damage before sliding it into her backpack. She then turned to Lotor with an absolutely enraged expression. “YOU BASTARD!! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!”

Putting his hands up in a gesture of surrender, Lotor took a couple steps back as the girl marched over to him. “Please, calm down,” he placated. “This isn’t my fault.”

“THE HELL IT ISN’T!!” she yelled, and Lotor instinctually tensed up in response. The girl sneered as she looked at him. “Some rich kid striding around campus like you own the place, not bothering to look out for people because you assume the world’s gonna bend around you—”

“I’ll pay for it!” Lotor blurted out in an attempt to make her stop with her accusations. He was certain that she didn’t even know how accurate those statements had been to the kind of person he used to be, the kind of person he was trying very, very hard not to be now that he had a second chance. “I… I can cover the expense. I’ll pay for it. Just tell me how much.”

The girl froze; she obviously hadn’t expected him to cooperate so easily. Her anger was replaced with suspicion as she looked him up and down, reevaluating. Finally, she seemed to accept his offer. “Alright,” she said, “but it’s not going to be as simple as just buying a new one. I built this.”

Lotor swallowed harshly, but he kept his tone even as he replied, “I can pay compensation for your time and buy you all of the spare parts you need. Money is not an issue.”

“Of course,” she scoffed. “Rich kid like you going to make your daddy pay for it?”

Literally biting his lip to keep himself from rising to her challenge, Lotor took a few deep breaths. “Actually,” he finally started in a measured tone, “I have been… cut off from my family’s fortune. However, I managed to steal large sums of money from my parents before that happened, and I am now using that money to invest. That is why money is not an issue. If you have some sort of distaste for stealing from the rich, I’m afraid I cannot help you.”

“Oh.” Finally, she looked at least a little apologetic. “Right, okay. Um. I have no problem with that. I’m sure it was justified.”

“How much money do you need?”

The girl fidgeted uncomfortably, absent-mindedly playing with the edge of her shirt. “I’ll have to assess the damage, search for parts both online and in-person… and this model is getting fairly old, so I might have some trouble buying new parts…”

“Perhaps you could use this as an opportunity for an upgrade?” Lotor suggested.

She eyed him with a hint of her former suspicion. “I guess I could, but I’d be starting from scratch. I’d love to do that as a side-project, and the end result would be worthwhile, but the cost—”

“—is unimportant,” Lotor insisted. “I will buy you a high-end laptop if that is what you want.”

“Why?”

Lotor hesitated, considering his words. Finally, he answered, “I have treated people in ways I am not proud of in the past. I cannot really make amends – most would not give me the chance to – but perhaps I can pay kindness forward?” He stopped, hoping that this was enough of an answer, but the girl kept looking at him with an intensely questioning gaze until he added, “Also, your words rather stung, and I was rather hoping to prove you wrong by showing how generous I can be.”

The girl gave an amused snort of laughter and finally cracked a smile. “Alright,” she relented, “I’ll let you buy me a better model. Just let me do some research first.”

“Right, of course. May I give you my number?” Lotor offered.

She gave him a deadpan look. “I’m ace. And aro.”

“Good for you. I’m gay, but that does not change the fact that you will need a way to contact me if I am to pay for your replacement computer.”

“Oh,” she said softly, cheeks coloring a little with embarrassment at her assumption. “Right, okay. Maybe an email instead? I prefer that to phone calls.”

Lotor nodded and agreed, “Of course, not a problem. Should I write it down, or…?”

“One sec.” The girl pulled out her phone and poked at the screen a few times before saying, “Okay, I’m ready.”

“Alright, it’s Sincline, that’s S-I-N-C-L-I-N-E, dot Lotor, L-O-T-O-R, at Voltron dot E-D-U.”

“[email protected]?” she read back to verify.

“Yes.”

“Perfect. And the name…?”

“Lotor Sincline.”

The girl paused for a second before laughing a little at herself. “Right, that should’ve been obvious. Okay. I’ll email you soon.”

Lotor hesitated for only a moment before asking, “What is your name, if you don’t mind?”

“Pidge Holt,” she replied without any pause. “I mean, technically my name is Katie, but everyone calls me Pidge.”

“Well met, Pidge.”

“Uh…” Pidge seemed a little uncertain about the formal greeting. “Same, dude. Lotor. Yeah.”

Lotor stifled a chuckle and ignored the pang in his chest as he thought of his old friends at Galra University. The girls would have probably liked Pidge a lot. Still, there was no reason to dwell on the past. Lotor watched as Pidge struggled to fit everything into her backpack, which looked ready to bust at the seams. “Perhaps I should buy you a new backpack, too,” he offered, only half-joking.

“Dude that would – Do you mind if I call you dude? I call everyone dude, even Allura – that would be amazing because I swear this thing is gonna fall apart any day.”

‘Allura Altea?’ Lotor wondered, but he decided to save that question for another time. “I’ll buy you one, then,” he replied. “And I do not… I really don’t mind.”

“Okay, cool.” Pidge swung the backpack up onto her shoulder. “Well, later then!”

Lotor smiled. “Yes, I… I’ll see you later.”