I made the mistake of looking at activities available for me in my town. I saw lots of stuff for kids 7-12. It made me sad. It made me remember I haven't been that physically young in a while. I was seeing all these fun things I'd love to do, all these people I wish I could be friends with, but then I just remembered how old I really am. It just hurts, a lot. I wish I never aged past 12. Every time I look at myself, I feel disgust, I hate how my body looks. Too tall, too big, my face isn't quite right, why hands are too big, my face is acne ridden, I don't fit in kids shoes or clothes and I haven't for a long time. I'm still young, but not young enough. And whenever I tell anyone how I'm feeling, I'm seen as disgusting. I'm not a creep, I just want to be seen the way I feel inside.