#vecna daddy

Vecna looks pained. Like someone’s hurt him in the past. I found myself wanting to know who could have hurt monster like him. Yet from what I understood he was once man. A man who had his on motivations and his own ideals that were slowly ripped from him and banished from human society. Now he was a former shell of himself. Part man, part other worldly being seeking revenge and power. It’s like I could feel his every emotion. Like I know his story. I dare say that I sympathize with the entity.

June 20, 1983

Dear Diary,

I’d managed to close my eyes again. I don’t fear being dragged into his reality. I’ve embrace it. I’m still alive. I assume there must be some reason why he wants me alive. Maybe I could find him. Any chance I’d get to be in his world, I would commit every detail of the strange dimension, The Upside Down, to memory. I’d draw the details and displayed them on my wall. I’d stay up late nights going down a rabbit hole researching and looking into random experiments done in Hawkins hoping it’d mean I’d find him soon. I think he’s finally taken ahold of my mind. I welcome him.

June 30, 1983

Dear Diary,

Strange things are frequently happening in Hawkins. Murders, people disappearing, sightings of cryptid creatures. I know it’s him. He’s getting powerful. I could feel him getting powerful. It…excited me. I’ve never been so interested in learning about a person’s life the way I do now. To think that a human could be so powerful? Would be considered human at all since he’d been born with these gifts? I’d like to think that he could feel me, too. That he understood my devotion to him. That I’d only ran away and kept myself from sleeping because I was scared to know who I really am. But he’s shown me that gradually over time.

None of the research I’ve done in university could ever match what his existence. I want to know him now more than anything.

July 1, 1983

There it was in front of you. A gate to The Upside Down beckoning you to enter. It’s a hidden hole in a tree surrounded by a wet sac. You enter not even thinking of the consequences. This will be the first time you’ll get to see him physically so consequences be damned. You break through the slimy barrier. The cold wetness of the unidentifiable substance coating you and your scantily clad red dress.

Once you made it through, an immediate chill goes down your spine. You know he’s close. You explore the grounds, taking note of every sight. It looked just like your worlds except dark. You speculated that through this shadow world this was how he accessed his victims.

You walked through the streets searching for the street where your home lies. Not surprisingly, your home was in fact there. You walked through the doors. The atmosphere eerily still. Looking around, it’s like nothing changed. You notice a light under the door frame of your room upstairs. It grew bright. Tiptoeing up the steps, the floorboards creek underneath your bare feet. Your heart racing.

Once you’ve reached the room, you lower yourself down attempting to look under the door frame. No movement, just blinding light. You stand up, grip the knob, take a breath, and then slowly turn it. The light flickers as you walk through the room.

You notice your diary rested on your bed. You pick it up, flipping through it’s pages. It’s all of the entries you’ve written since the beginning of his mark on you. It’s practically duplicate.

Suddenly, the air shifts and you were sure you were alone anymore. Wet, heavy footsteps thumped against the floorboards. You don’t dare to turn to look. Even as the slick appendage wrapped around your neck, you remained still. You hear his rumbling growl.

“Y/N.” He says, turning you slowly to look at him. His voice, an overlay of a growling beast mix with a hint of his original innocent voice. His facial features part man, part creature. You could tell he was handsome with enticing lips and bright blue eyes. The other part of him was of this strange world. Dark, wrinkled wet skin almost reptilian and flesh in texture. He donned white clothes that had been torn and darkenedfrom what appeared to look as if he were struck by lightning. Several tentacles extended out and around him like extra limbs. Both sides of him were gorgeous and you could feel yourself weak at the knees at this discovery.

“My king.” You moaned.

He looked as if he was psychoanalyzing you in his head, trying to pick you apart. Were you here to serve him? The answer was yes. You were his to use. You spent years wanting to figure out the nuances of humanity and once you realized it, it only made you want to seek something new. Exciting. Morally corrupt. He was exactly who you needed.

“King?” He questions with a head tilt, releasing his grip from your neck.

You take this as an opportunity to show your worth to him. You fall to your knees, bowing your head and hands flat on the ground. You look up at him with admiration. “I understand. I know what you feel and how you think. For years, I’ve studied humanity. I’ve seen the things we’re all capable of. We are not perfect. We are destructive, cruel, irredeemable. That is why I give myself to you and will hang on every word you say. I want you to teach me to be in your light. To serve by your side and fulfill your every wish. I want to be perfect for you. Please claim my body as yours to use however you like.”

He takes a step closer to you, tilting your chin up with an elongated finger. “Such a needy little thing you are. Typical of you humans. Always wanting regardless of if it’s bad for you,” He pulls his cock from his confines. It’s hard and the tip leaking precum. It was large in length smooth, slimy, reptilian skin but appeared like the average male anatomy. “Go on. Show me how you’ll serve me.”

You take his harden member in your hand taking in its beauty. You’d never seen a man like him. You settled with the idea that he would be the one to take you precious flower. He was worthy of corrupting the purity you’ve tried to maintain.

You swirl your tongue around his tip, sucking hard. You earn a grunt from him. This makes you want to hear more. Lowering your mouth down to the base, you swallow around him. He looks so beautiful above you, watching you take his down your fragile throat. He couldn’t wait to rip you apart on his dick and show you how to be taken and trained properly.

A tentacle slithers between your legs. You spread them wider wanting to show your submission to him. He just under your panties. You could feel the slimy suction of the feeler caressing the inside of your thigh. It light goosebumps against your skin at its texture. You gag around him, taking him deeper and deeper.

“Mm, you’re so greedy for me. I’m sure you wouldn’t care that I’ve killed before. Your life could be in danger right now and yet you still lust for cock. You’re such a greedy, fucking whore.” He slaps a tendril-like limb against your ass hard, the wetness causing the contact to sting even more. You choke against him.

The limb between your leg teases your clothed pussy before pushing the soft cotton of your underwear to the side. He flicks your clit back and forth, the suctions on the vine catching it over and over.

Your eyes roll back. “Thank you, sir.” You mewled, stroking his cock while you moaned out and ground against the thick appendage.

He pulls you by your hair and yanks your mouth back onto him. “Did I tell you to stop? Now I’m going to rut into your throat until it’s raw.” Wrapping two tentacles around your hair like pigtails, he drives your mouth down his length over and over. You’re forced to continue to breathe through your nose. His hips moving into your mouth so rough you could feel him in your esophagus. The limb playing with your clit rubbing harder against you. It was borderline painful.

“Look at how wet you are,” He pulls himself from between your legs even with the wet texture of his skin, you can evidently see your creamy slick against the dark blue tendril. “You enjoy being treated so poorly. I can let all my frustrations on you and you’d take it.” He pulls your mouth off him by your hair. Groaning when he sees the lines of saliva connecting his cock to your tongue, break off and drip down you chin and chest.

“Yes, master. I love to be used and ruined by you.” You say with a gasp. He shoves himself down your throat once again while thrusting the vine inside you. You cry out. You hadn’t expected penetration so suddenly. He was just at the barrier if he thrusted further you’d officially be his.

“Sit.” He commands you.

You adjust yourself, shifting at the knee so that you could take him deeper. You’re mouth yanking away from his cock once more. The barrier is finally broken and you stutter out a groan. “F-fuck!”

He maneuvers in and out of your quivering pussy, groaning at its tightness. You look down between your legs watching the extender inside you. There was blood trickling down your thighs. He was fascinated by the sight, pulling himself out of you and tasting the salty, warm liquid. His eyes glimmer with a newfound interest.

He tears off your dress and panties from you in one swift tug, your body completely bare. You instinctively cover your breasts. He couldn’t help but notice how innocent you looked under him. Like a little lamb put up for the slaughter. But you had offered yourself to him. You asked for this. So how innocent were you really?

He rips your hands away. “Do not hide yourself, little one. You belong to me.” His vine coils around your neck lifting you off your feet and slamming you against the bed. You were like a rag doll in his grasp, biting your lip at the feeling of being manhandled. You’re flipped over, forced on your hands and knees. You can hear him fumbling with his clothes. You peep over your shoulder to witness his full body which also bore resemblance of that of man and creature.

“You’re so beautiful, master. I can’t wait to have you against.” You moaned, rolling your hips in anticipation.

He smacks your ass once again then entwining an extended limb around your waist and pulling you against him. He plunges himself deep into your walls, bottoming out in one swift move. You wail, gripping the sheets in front of you. He forces your face down into the mattress while your ass remained high in the air. It was angled just in the right position for him to pummel into your wetness over and over. His grunts above you mixing in with your whines.

“So fucking tight. I’ll ruin this cunt so that no other man can have you.” He growls, smacking your ass once more. You can feel the extenders slithering all over your body caressing every part of your skin and tweaking your nipples. The suctions on them lighting goosebumps against your skin. He spits at your puckered hole rubbing a thumb at the entrance then you recognize the familiar slimy, wiggling of the tentacle penetrating your anal cavity.

He thrusts in and out of it in time with his hardness driving into your pussy. You rise up on all fours again, your tongue sticking out, panting and drooling at the pressure of being filled in both holes. “Holy fuck! Yes, yes, yes. Just like that.”

He mercilessly pounds into you, pulling you closer to him so that your back was flushed against his chest. “This is your role now. You are to take everything I give you. Everything. You’ll serve as my queen. Never to question me. Do you understand?” He whispered into your ear. He sounded so fucking sexy. His voice strained from the moans he held back so that he could speak his commands explicitly.

“Yes, master. Yes, my king. I will take it all.” I throw it back against his cock and the tentacle. They stretched both holes with a mix of pain and pleasure. You want to prove to him you can handle it with ease.

“You’re such a fucking whore. You’ve come here searching for trouble. You beg for me to take you. Then you sacrifice your whole life up there just for a taste of my cock. You’re despicable.” He smacks your ass.

“I’m filthy, sir. A fucking degenerate. I want to be whatever you want me to be. I want you to mold my whole world into your liking.” He pounds harder and it’s as if he’s got even more inches of himself to give to you.

You can feel him sloshing around inside, knocking at your insides and forming a bulge at your belly. You press it causing the two of you to hiss at the action. He swivels his hips making certain that he hits every square inch of you. His length nudges at the small, fleshy button inside you repeatedly. It felt as if he’d touched that part of you from both entrances, the tentacle flicking inside you back and forth.

Your drawn out groans are now, short gasps of air. “I’m gonna fucking cum. You’re so amazing, master!”

He rubs at your clit, the suctions pulling at your clit. You were beginning to feel delirious at this point. It was all so much and you knew that you’d finally lost any sense of sanity, you once had. A wave of bliss takes over you and you can feel yourself gushing, the evidence of your arousal dripping down your inner thighs and his cock.

“Mmm,” He moans, witnessing your creamy slick and blood make a mess of your lower bodies. He pumps sloppy, long strokes into your pussy. “Would you like to be filled to the brim, hmm? Make you drip with my cum.”

“Please fuck your babies into me. I wanna be round and full and take all of it inside. I don’t want to waste a single drop,” You fucked back against him faster, ruining his pace. You were set on him cumming in you and you could feel another orgasm beginning to bubble in the pit of your stomach. “Hurt me, master. Just the way you like. I know it’s what you need to cum. I’ve studied you. All so that I know how to please you. Please hurt me.”

That was all the encouragement he needed. He knew you could take the pain. His thrusts returned to the same force that crossed the line between pain and pleasure. He bites at your shoulder, choking you simultaneously. Your air supply had been cut off; you were getting dizzy. Your orgasm was approaching soon and you crawled at the tentacle that constricted your throat. He pounds into your sweet spot once again and a cry rips from his chest and you both tremble against one another. You both arrived at the same time. You felt as if you were dying the orgasm that shook through you so powerful, your wetness shot out like a sprinkler, wetting the bed.

His cum is hot as it paints your walls white inside you. He continues his thrusts to the point of overstimulation wanting to make sure his essence remained deep inside you. Vecna lets go of your body and you immediately collapse against the mattress. Your face down and ass still in the air as you heaved for air. He stares down at your quaking core which had been coated with a mixture of your blood and juices as well as his cum that began to seep out. He takes a finger gathering it and you turned your head to the side to face him, sticking your tongue out. He runs his finger back and forth against your tongue until you clasp a finger around it and sucked.

He removes his finger, patting and rubbing you on the head. You accept the warm embrace, nuzzles your head into his hand. “I knew you’d be the perfect queen. You understand.”

“Yes, my king. I’ve always known I was meant to serve you. I don’t care if you hurt others. You do it because you want you humanity to be better and recognize its deplorability.”

“You wouldn’t turn against me if I were to ask you to carry out an important mission?”

“No, sir,” You sit up, resting your butt on the bottoms of your feet. “I will do anything you say. I meant every word.”

“Then, there is someone whom I need you to bring to me?”

“Who?”

“Bring me the girl, Eleven. Alive.”

note: herro! it feels so good to post again! lots to unpack in this part and its quite long! i apologize if its a bit confusing with referring to some memories. as always, feel free to share your thoughts or ask any questions you may have! i did want to share that my characterization of vecna is probably on another level and die hard v-daddy fans may not enjoy this version - fair warning. nonetheless, i hope you enjoy!

Screams.

Screams gargle out of your throat before you even notice. Your heart beats heavily inside your chest. The pain shoots up your thigh and into your stomach, as well as down your entire right leg.

Your hands push against his head fiercely. You are desperate to rip his teeth off your thigh. You feel his mouth latch harder onto your skin, causing a screech to escape your lips. The blood slowly trickles down your leg, an uncomfortable and nerve-wracking feeling. You scream, “Kas,” as you struggle against him. 

Your head shoots up, looking for something to help you - anything. You reach up to grab a baluster off the staircase. You pull as hard as you can in hopes of ripping it off the handrail.

With eyes desperately searching for a weapon, your gaze falls upon Vecna. A sickening smile before you. His eyes completely fixated on Kas and his heavy bite against your thigh. Your stomach drops as you stare into the burned pile of flesh before you. He is enjoying this. It disgusts you. Anger slowly fills your body as you struggle against holding the wood above you. 

With a yell, you release all your undeniable anger. Your body tensing. Your muscles firm. You rip the baluster out from the stairs with a strength you do not recognize and drop it heavily against the base of Kas’ skull.

He shuffles back onto his knees. A hand quickly pressing against the mark you made on his cranium. The blunt weapon falls from your hands as he releases his grasp on your thighs.

Kas’ eyes slowly raise to you. Those brown chocolate eyes now indiscernible. Red replaces his honey - his sweetness, his innocence. Another stab in the chest, reminding you that Eddie is no longer.

You hope he found peace, and that you will see him soon. 

“You bitch,” Kas hisses out.

“Fuck you,” you mutter with heavy annunciation on the f. Fueled with anger and pointing towards Vecna, you add, “Funny you’re calling me the bitch when you’re so clearly his. You’re a fucking puppet and a fucking disgrace to Eddie.”

He stands up, a finger to your face, as his nostrils flare. His quick movements scare you as you wince in his presence. He steps forward in your space. You try to hold your ground, but you step back defensively.

“Watch your mouth,” Kas demands.

“Why? Aren’t you about to kill me? I’m going to do whatever the hell I want to do with my last moments,” you scream back. The anger now rings true throughout your body as you take a step forward.

Kas steps back, sucking his tongue to his teeth as a slow smirk appears on his right side. “You have no control here,” he says calmly. Your eyes squint with rage. “You don’t get to decide whether or not you speak before you die. I could just as easily bite off your tongue or rip away a chunk of your cheek,” he lists off as he runs a finger down your cheek bone.

You pull away sharply, only making him smile more. A trail of blood slowly makes its way down your leg.

“I’d like to see you try to speak then.”

You breathe out heavily through your nostrils as you struggle to keep your body from shaking. You refuse to let him see the fear he causes within you. 

“Oh, and one more thing, darlin’,” Kas states. His index finger and thumb squeezing your chin as he pulls your attention back on him. You struggle to pull away, pain radiating across your jaw, but he holds you right where he wants you. “Eddie was the fucking disgrace. Everything he did and everyone he loved led to him being left to die on that road,” he continues with a laugh.

He takes another step forward, only a mere inch or two away from your face. “What disgrace? You couldn’t even save him. Where were you, huh?” he taunts. “Where were you when he was dying on that slab of concrete? Where were you when he was calling out for you, desperate to have you sit by his side as he left this world? Where were you when he was screaming your name-”

You slap him, hard and before you even knew it. The burning on your palm fuels the hate you feel so deeply within your heart.

Kas is stunned before you. His hand retreating as it applies pressure against his face. Shock courses through your mind that he was seemingly bothered. You can barely see out of the tears piling within your eyes, but a part of you worries if you went too far. That very same part replays the unforgivable words spoken, and you are reminded of your hate.

“You disgusting bastard,” you mutter. “Why does it bother you SO much when I talk about him? Is it the constant reminder that, even though he’s gone, he is and always will be a better man than you ever could? Is it because you know the love we had and how you’ll never have it?” A smirk suddenly falls upon your face. Your own eyes turning red, if they could. “Or is it because you know how much better he is at fucking me? That I faked it-“ 

Kas’ hand immediately rushes to your throat. You gasp, letting out your final breath. The pain is excruciating, but completely worth it. You give him a deep smile as you watch the anger flow into his eyes.

“Do you ever stop talking?” he spits out through gritted teeth.

“Fuck you, Munson,” you grumble out, twisting the knife in his side. He squeezes harder in retaliation and you immediately feel faint. You choke, heavily. Fear in your eyes as you feel the blood halting at your neck, disconnecting from your brain. 

You are going to die, but you already knew that. You haven’t said everything you needed to say. One last love note to beautiful Eddie before you see him again. 

And almost like a switch, Kas’ eyes widen at your reddened and horrified face. He pulls back his hand violently. You immediately collapse to your knees, choking out heaving breaths as your finger nails dig into the hardwood floor. 

Kas steps back, a traumatized look to his face. Never once has he felt regret. Never once has he experienced the fear that spreads like wildfire in his victims’ eyes.

And he did this to YOU.

The one person in this world that he doesn’t hate with every fiber of his being. Your words stung, hurt like a mother fucker, but he knew they were just words. He loves you, but you make him so angry. And he feels everything so deeply now - now that he knows. He regrets it. He regrets hurting you like that, despite having every intention to kill you at that very moment. 

“Kas, what did I say about playing with your food?” Vecna asks amusingly. His voice careless, as though he has better things to do. It pulls Kas out of his thoughts, which was his intention.

You shoot your head towards him, giving him the deadliest stare you could muster. “I am not food, you fucked up burnt pile of shit,” you scream. You are tired of him, tired of him enjoying your death. There is no way in hell you would be letting anyone minimize your existence, certainly not this skinless fuck. 

Vecna’s eyes fall on you sharply. The muscles of his brow pulling together as his haunting stare consumes you. You gasp in response as your heart races. His hand slowly raises.

With that, Kas’ face turns pale. He immediately turns to you, trying to push you out of the way, but it was too late. An invisible force floats you in the air. Your breath halts as you attempt to tremble, but you can’t even do that. Your arms are spread from your torso as your heels click together. Your eyes peer down at that horrible face, seeing nothing but absolute ruthlessness.

Kas watches a tear fall down your cheek as you struggle to grasp an understanding of what was occurring. His heart sinks as he watches you raise. He knows what happens after this. He usually enjoys the brutality, mentally taking notes, but as he watches you there, bright flashes wrack his head. 

He pins his chin to his shoulder as he receives painful glints of a blonde girl. He is brought back to the living room that will never be the same again. She floats above, just as you are now. He feels the fear, the terror that envelope his body. An involuntary hand hits his chest.

Screams, he is screaming. 

The girl he has known since the fourth grade is dying right above him, and he cannot do anything about it. She was the nicest girl, always has been. Anger, resentment, the need to have justice fills his soul. She did not deserve this. She was innocent, absolutely innocent. 

Like you… you didn’t deserve this. 

It did not matter how much you hurt him. How much you broke his heart. How much he despises your existence. How much regret he holds from saving your life that first night. You were innocent. He should have never brought you here. He should have left you alone. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Kas stands beside Vecna with eyes of horror. His widening gaze peering up at your body as he attempts to process the sight before him. You are conscious. Why is Vecna leaving you conscious?

His eyelashes flutter as tears well in them. What the fuck can he do? You pissed Vecna off, the god of this shithole. He is scared, horrified even. In the face of death, he suddenly realizes he can’t lose you. He won't lose you. 

But he is frozen, frozen with absolute fear. Upon seeing that memory, on top of the anger, resentment, and justice, he feels fear. Vecna destroyed such a precious life so viciously. What could he do with Kas’ meaningless life? He brought him back into the world. He could surely take him out of it. 

Vecna slowly walks up to you. His clawed hand almost encompassing your chest. His head tilts to the side as he watches your terrified eyes. “You are mine, little girl,” he whispers.

You tremble as you struggle to bring your eyes to the deadened form below you. Your chin held up by the invisible force. Do you regret what you said? Hell no. This pile of uncured meat is the reason your entire life went upside down. 

“Fuck you,” you muster. 

Suddenly, you feel like your bones were lit on fire. An unbearable wound against your shin and knee. The pain is overwhelming. Enough that your body is so overloaded that you didn’t even notice you were screaming again. Screaming at the top of your lungs as you still struggle against a force holding you against nothing. 

Nerve endings wrack your skull. Your body falls in and out of consciousness. You try hard to let yourself fall out of it, but HE keeps you in.

You can feel him deep in your mind. His fingers wriggling within. Any control you had was surely gone. A sickening feeling you wouldn’t wish upon anyone. You truly were his, whether you wanted to be or not. You seek repulsion against the feeling of him in your veins. 

Kas watches you in absolute terror. A memory come to life once again. He can see your snapped leg out of his peripherals but he desperately keeps his widening eyes on your face. He shakes. He shakes as he sees your face pale. His lips tremble. He reminds himself that he did this to you. It may not be his hands, but he put you in this situation and now he is forced to watch your execution.

“Which one next?” Vecna asks lightheartedly. He slightly turns his head towards Kas. His eyes still glued to you, but he manages to pull away.

Kas notes the increased excitement in Vecna’s eyes. He despises it, but can’t look away. If he does, then he would have to look at you.

However, he can’t escape your crying, your pleading, your begging ringing in his ears. The sound somehow converts into daggers at his side. It causes a worse wound than his death AND rebirth. 

“Please!” you scream with a voice ripped right from your chest.

Kas bites his lip as he stares at the floor. The damage to his system abundant in his face. “Just,” the word falls out of his mouth before he could stop it.

Vecna turns faster than the word is spoken. “Just what?” he says slowly. He faces him now, full on. Kas could see you starting to fall unconscious from your pain in his sidelines. He is beyond thankful. 

Kas takes a deep breath before drawing his glance back towards Vecna. “You need to stop,” he says. He decides that honesty, something that does not come naturally for him, is his best path ahead. “Something inside me cares for her and I-I can’t have her die like this.”

His eyes fall to the ground as he inadvertently becomes vulnerable. He relinquishes his power as he slightly bows before his alpha, his “savior.”

Vecna’s human eyes fall into the depths of hell as disappointment claws across his face. “She left you for dead,” he spits out with a waver to his voice.

With a quick shake to their head, they reach his arm out, undoubtedly to break another one of your limbs.

Kas catches their wrist, stopping him in his tracks. He quickly looks at your resting body, ensuring he did not do anything within that fraction of a second.

“She is the only thing that’s made me feel alive since you brought me back,” he musters. “You will not take her from me.” 

A deep, grumbled scoff falls from Vecna’s scorched lips. They pull harshly from Kas’ grasp, as though his touch was poisonous. Kas awkwardly places his hand back at his side, still ready for the offensive, but suddenly extremely careful with where his hands were.

“You are telling me you haven’t had any fun since I brought you back?” they clarify with a laugh. “I saw you smiling while a man’s blood fell from your lip. Your laughter now haunts the New World, as does mine.”

A wince squeezes his face as Kas shakes his head. “Killing is different from living,” he whispers.

“You don’t get to decide that,” the deep and overpowering voice emerges. Vecna hasn’t used this voice since they first met. He hasn’t heard him like this since Kas last asked a question or attempted to have any semblance of autonomy.

“The only way you can live is if you kill her,” they continue. “Kill her for me.” 

Vecna closes the space between them, leaving Kas to shudder at his increasing voice volume. “Kill her, for me,” he says as he steps away from your unconscious body, still floating above the ground and destined for death.

A haze of a memory as you slowly open your eyelids to watch the two below. Just a few moments and you will cease to be.

“I’m crazy about you, Eddie,” you whisper.

And then everything went dark. 

Your cheek rests against a warm and soft surface. You lean into it instinctually. The curve of your back perfect against the front of his waist. You held onto him and you never intend to let go. Your fingers dig into his soft skin, a skin your body knew well. Squelches are heard from, what you assume to be, mudded ground beneath you.

Normally, you would be overly curious as to where you were, where your body was headed, who you were with - but not today. You are beyond exhausted, beyond lethargic, beyond nonsense. Your mind is shattered into a million pieces and accompanied by a wretched headache.

Your gentle face bounces off the warmth as he takes a few more steps. The taste of metal fills your mouth, and you tiredly scrunch your nose in response. You smack your lips, attempting to get the taste off your tongue.

Immediately, a giggle fills the small area between where your head and hand rest against his firm muscle. This peaks your interest as you slowly open your eyes, peering your chin up naturally. 

You see and feel his beloved curled locks, the ones' you’ll eternally long for, gracefully brushing against your forehead. A strong jaw line that clenches, painfully holding back any more laughter. A quick movement of the Adam's apple as he swallows softly.

You curl deeper into his warmness, something you never wish to leave. Nuzzling against his hot skin and you swear you're home. An hoarse grumble leaves your lips as you pull him into your arms. You could sleep here, rest here, die here - call it a fucking day here.

Why would you ever pull away? 

“God, you’re so cute,” you hear Kas’ voice echo within the space. Your mind scrambles, processing the danger you were cuddling against. He killed you, he - he should have? You scrunch your face, pushing against his waist. You wriggle your limbs about until he drops you flat onto the ground. The pain reverberates through your right hip, but you quickly push the feeling away and prepare yourself for his attack.

You spin upon your knees, taking in sharp breaths as pebbles, dirt, and your entire body weight dig into your knee caps. You grab of a nearby small rock, throwing it at him.

Naturally, he laughs as he dodges your attempt easily. He makes his way towards you, unbothered and annoyed at the same time. “I liked you better when you’re asleep,” he mutters with a thick upper lip. 

Eyes rapidly scan the area around you. You find yourself in the woods, but see beauty? Vecna's demonic presence must not have gotten this far. It hasn't destroyed the nature - the sunny skies, the chirping birds, the chilly wind.

Were you out of Hawkins?

Your heart pounds, not at all sure where to run or how to get away from him. You turn around and note a large plain of tall winded grass and a grand scene of bright light blue across the sky. The beauty was enough to take your breath away, enough to make you forget.

“We’re almost out,” Kas announces with a deep and confusing sigh. We? you question in your mind. Last you knew, he was about to kill you and now there’s a “we?” 

“How did we get here?” you ask, returning your determined eyes upon him. Your body remains defensive, ready to strike if deemed necessary. Nostrils flare as you bear holes into his ambiguous smile.

Kas looks to his feet, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. The top of his shoe hits against the sole of his other. His hands resting at his back, exposing his bare chest. He stands awkwardly, uncomfortably, vulnerably in front of you.

Your breathing intensifies as your eyes meet his. “Last I remember, you were about to kill me,” you say quietly. Your hand slowly crawling towards the next nearby rock. Your crouched body blocking your reach.

His eyes widen before you as he takes a determined step forward. Your body involuntarily shudders at his approach. Your grip tightens against the rock, almost painfully so.

“I was never going to kill you,” Kas replies with an exasperated tone. His body language retreating, as he leans heavily against the trunk of the tree behind him. He does it so naturally, as though he knew that tree was ready to catch him.

A calculated retreat created in hopes that you'll been drawn in. Although it was part of his plan, he hates the thought of placing distance between you both. He wants nothing more than to be glued to your hip. He regrets even laughing before. He must have woken you up and you brought him in on your nightmare.

Kas wasn't going to kill you, but he certainly thought about it at least 100 times.

“Bullshit,” you throw out as your teeth grind into powder. Anger reverberates throughout your body as you struggle to keep yourself calm. The fire hot in your cheeks as you feel a new sense of power ripple out from your chest. You and the rock are one and the same. Blood trickles around its smooth edges.

Kas pushes off the tree with closed, tightened fists. He’s frustrated by your lack of understanding. By your lack of compliance. “I was never going to kill you,” he enunciates. His eyes roll before he leans back into his heel and cross his arms against his chest.

“As much as I wanted to,” he whispers under his breath.

Your breathing heavies as you watch him begin to pace. His hands almost explode before him in frustration before walking his 4 steps, turn, and walk. His tattoos curl around his body, like a story dying to be read. You feel the pit in your stomach, and are suddenly reminded that the only reason anything's dying is because he pulled you into his mess.

Your nostrils flare and your lips tighten into a firm line. “Am I supposed to thank you?” you spit out, terrified to stand from your kneel. The grip on your weapon now digging sharply into the palm of your hand.

“I wouldn’t mind a ‘thank you,’” Kas says sarcastically. He lets out a breathy chuckle before crossing his arms across his chest. “But I also wouldn’t mind you believing me.”

You immediately laugh, following his words closely. “Believe you?! You must be joking,” you huff with a lowly snicker. “You left me to die." Your eyes locked onto him as you feel a darkened heat rise in your chest. The rage begins to spread across your body, one that boils into an unfamiliar courage. You stand before him with clenched fists, one rock still in hand.

You were no one's victim.

Not anymore.

“Left you to die? God, how dramatic are you?” Kas chuckles in disbelief, throwing his hand up in the air in playful defense. He begins to pace one again, something he classically does when feeling anxious. His brows furrow together as he digs his curled index finger against his chin. His curls cover him in a beautiful shadow. You knew the anger in his voice would come after the pacing.

You step forward with clenching fists. You forget about the rock piercing your palm, despite the blood pooling at its folds. “You left me, crying - " you quickly adjust. "You left me devastated, a-and then you -"

"Devastated?" he scoffs. His vision strictly on you now, no longer afraid of intense eye contact. "You were devastated. That's fucking rich," he scoffs under his breath. He takes another pace to his right before taking a strong step towards you. A finger suddenly waving about in your face.

"What the fuck do you have to be devastated about?" Kas spits out. His arms crossing and uncrossing, as though his body had no idea what to do with itself. "You didn't have-" he stops himself as he looks to his shoes. "Just to find out that she thought you were someone else the whole time!" He ends his sentence with a yell, smashing his bare knuckles into the bark beside him.

You wince at his punch, feeling the pain in your own hand. Silence fills the space, as you struggle to pull your eyes up to his. The vulnerability, the lack of control, the deep look into his true feelings was almost blinding. You didn't want to get caught staring, not with him. You take a slow gulp as you carefully pick your next words.

"I didn't know it wasn't-"

Kas laughs off your garbage excuse, pushing off the tree's trunk and starting his angry and anxious pace once again. "No, no," his voice cracks ever so slightly. A finger in your face once again. "You said you didn't know him." The words fall from a dark growl in his throat. His rage boils over, equal to your own.

You pull at the hems of your shirt, trying to bring it over your bare thighs. Every bit of you felt unsafe - physical, emotional, mental. One of the three screams at you to say nothing, remain absolutely silent and wait until the storm is over. The other two had their own plans.

"I said, I didn't know who you were," you yell back, stepping into Kas' space. His head shoots up, not at all anticipating your ferociousness. "And I have absolutely no idea who the hell you are," the frustration clear as a bell in each of your words. You push against his ribs, giving yourself a bit more breathing room.

"Oh, is that right?" Kas utters with annoyance. He enters your space intentionally with a growling hum behind his teeth. "I don't remind you of your dearly departed." He takes a dramatic bow with a snark on his face as he awaits your horrid reply. Your words hurt him, more than you'll ever know, but he can't help but make you regret it. And you being dead - or frankly, not right at his side was not an option. It's better than not having you at all.

"You're nothing like Eddie," you whisper with a slow and stern tone. You dig into the words, wanting him to feel a scorching pain from each one. You knew from the jump that Kas had some weird jealousy with who Eddie was, one you found curious.

His lashes flutter for just a second, before a dark smile spreads across his face. "I'll take that as a compliment." A heavy chest beneath his smirk reveals his anger. He was livid, barely holding it together. Your body can't choose between fight, flight, or freeze.

"You really shouldn't," you utter with rabid disgust toward him. You can hear your blood drip onto the dried leaves below you. The silence told you everything you needed to know. Your eyes flash to his and you note the deep, slow inhale he takes through his nostrils.

"God," you whisper. "He'd be disgusted with what he's become."

Whispers were meaningless and foolish attempts for Kas' sharp ears. Yet, your disrespect was a sharp as a knife slashed across his chest. He takes another step towards you, this time only a two or three inches from your own torso.

He backed you against the very same tree trunk. He wanted you to feel trapped, claustrophobic. To know that he could kill you from any direction, in any way by being this close to you. He hangs over you, his breath heavy and hot on your skin. His cock twitching against the denim of his jeans.

"And what about you?" Kas coos with a tilt of his head. "Do you find me disgusting?" His eyes actively search for yours.

You are caught off by the question, caught off guard by the idea. Disgusting? Yes, easily and in so many ways. Yet your entire body is screaming at you to keep that initial thought in. You weren't sure if it was for your benefit, or for his.

You understood him, more than you'd like to. As much as you are trying to convince yourself that you don't care about him, that you see nothing in him - you still see Eddie. You see the man you love peaking through the dark, bloodied corridors of this broken shell of a person. Only one thing is clear...

"The things you've been doing, you've done to me are disgusting," you say carefully.

"I haven't even begun to do the disgusting things I want to do to you," Kas whispers into your ear. His arms hook under your thighs, hoisting you up just enough for him to get his hips beneath you. The bark digs into your sensitive skin. He pins you against the tree, breathing violently against your neck.

You can feel his heat against your own. A part of you hates yourself. Hates that wet and sparkling feeling between your legs as you scream into his face. A shame you've never experienced before. Your legs close around his waist and you let out a soft gasp as his strong hands dig into your cheeks.

The rock in your hand was enough to ground you. You let out a shaky breath as he adjusts his hold of you. You peer down at him, as your fingers wrap around his chin. You guide him up to you, as he follows devoutly.

That's when you see it.

Redemption.

Kas' pupils expand as he falls into the palm of your hand. His heart thumps loudly against his chest and all he cares about is whether or not you see any light in him. A light-hearted goodness that he doesn't care enough to have for himself, but anything to draw you in to his darkness.

You could see him here. Here in those innocent and submissive eyes. In the way Eddie's lip scrunches to the right when he's trying to learn something new and watching with eager eyes and listening ears as you whimper beneath him. Can they both exist? The thought excites you.

Little did you know, your hand drops the rock from its grasp. Your palm rests flat against the warmth of his heart. What the fuck were you doing?! The thought is quickly overshadowed by the abundance of love flooding your lungs. The electricity between your palm and his chest is exhilarating, unnerving, and intoxicating. You realize in this moment that you would give anything to touch him again, even after everything he's done.

Kas disarms beneath your touch. His heart makes a desperate attempt to escape, wracking against his sternum. It, too, was drawn to your touch. A familiar dryness hits the back of his throat and thirst calls his name. A twitching heat is packed against his left pant-leg and desire calls your name. His eyes find yours in a hypnotic gaze, happily glued to you and your beauty.

You lick your lips, and the words fall softly. "What Vecna said, this - this future he's planned for you," you coo as your thumb rubs against his cheek. "That you're a murderer, a - a killer." You softly pat against his sternum, pulling his attention to your hand. You lean into his ear and your words have him in a chokehold.

"You don't have to be."

Kas pulls from you, dropping your feet to the dirt below. He opens his mouth, prepared with his retort. A simple reminder that he does enjoy the murdering and the killing. He just didn't want to do it for Vecna anymore. You, however, thought he was going to say something else.

"Just because he brought you back doesn't mean you owe him anything," you spit out. An anger lives behind your eyes. Kas noted the hate, the heat boiling within you, the disgust. You hated Vecna, which was to be expected. However, you hated Vecna more than expected.

"I'm going to remind you that skinless fuck is the bad guy," you take no back-talk. "Vecna decided to bring you back, a strong - powerful warrior. You definitely put up a hell of a fight, I - I know Eddie would."

You point towards the wrong area of the forest and Kas about loses it. The only thing keeping him strong are sharp breaths through the nostrils, a deep bite to his lip, and the desire to not interrupt your kind words. The words he's been waiting to hear all his life.

"He must have wanted you on his side, on his team," your eyes grow in size as excitement raises the pitch of your voice. You lunge towards him, arms wrapping around his neck. "Kas, you don't need to be a monster."

Your whispers were like songs. His entire body relaxes under your weight. An intense longing for your touch. His tattooed arms wrap around your waist, pulling you into a tight embrace. He wanted to hold you until all this horrible shit just went away. To take back everything he's done - just to be good enough for you.

Regret fills Kas' mind, but not for anyone but you. He's never cared before you stumbled into his demonic little town. His acts, what he's done, they bring him joy and happiness in their memories. He enjoyed snapping necks, diving his teeth into the flesh of strangers, and smiling at the those who recognized him but had no idea what he was now capable of.

Those were his favorites.

He listens to your words, and he awaits some huge revelation that Vecna was the "bad guy." As if his entire world was expected to be rocked by this news, which is confusing seeing as the bad guy aspect is why he liked him so much. There's freedom in being evil. Something Kas has wanted for as long as he could remember, and probably before that too.

He enjoys taking what he wants, doing what he wants, using who he wants, killing who he wants. He cares for no one but himself, and occasionally would keep Vecna's demands in mind. That is, until you came along.

Kas can't lie, he fucking hated it.

You were an immediate break in his lifestyle with rather harsh consequences. Anything Kas did was suddenly witnessed by you and your goodness. He's even begun to second guess his thoughts. No longer trusting his initial thoughts.

He hated it - hated it, but what he hated most was the fact that you were worth it to him. A change in his entire lifestyle, everything he's known to be normal within the past month. He could do it for you again in a heart beat, give up the freedom and the sociopathic tendencies to...

To do what?

Feel? To be trapped? To be stuck in a cage of morality?

Kas swings his head side to side, trying to physically shake the contradicting thoughts out from his mind. His lips begin to snarl and his brows furrow together. A rage fills his body, one so strong that his clenched fists begin to shake. He can feel the white hot sensation searing across his chest.

"What if I want to be?" Kas seethes through his teeth. He takes a step forward and you hail a rock against the right side of his face with a solid swing. He turns over, barely standing when off balance.

You look back at your bloodied hand and rock in shock. You let the solid mass fall from your fingers with blinking tearful and bewildered eyes. You knew the second his eyes went dark and he was silent that it wasn't going to end well. That rock returned to its rightful spot.

You take a quick breath, before spinning on your heel and running as fast as you could through the trees. Your quad muscles constrict, whipping you through the trunks at a speed that can only be fueled by adrenaline.

The crunch of leaves under your feet was all you could hear. Your hair stands on its end, and you feel a coolness at the back of your neck. You wanted nothing more than to scream at the top of your lungs, but all that would do is keep you from running as fast as you could.

Running to put as much distance as possible from the man who broke you physically and mentally.

Your heart thumps in your ears, pulsating as you rush through the trees. Your form now loose as you accidentally slam your shoulder onto the splintering bark. You grunt, holding in your breath as you feel the cold air rip against your fresh cuts.

How could you be so damn stupid? To think that someone could come back from the dead, and be... fine? Be themselves again? You chose to lie to yourself. Desperate to find some sign of Eddie in the darkness, begging for his touch and giving him everything.

Your skin feels uncomfortable. You begin to scratch at it. The disgust with yourself flutters in with the slightest breeze and you wish your world could end now and in this instant. You gave him all you had to give as soon as you possibly could.

"How the hell did Eddie put up with you?"

You dig your heels into the dirt, falling at a screeching halt. You turn to see Kas' shoulder leaning into the tree's trunk, comfortable as if he'd been waiting some time. Your weight betrays you and the shock lands you on your ass in front of him.

Kas' arms cross as he rolls his eyes in response. "Like I said, dramatic," he utters with an exhausted hand slapping down against his thigh.

You scan over his body, perfect as could be and not a single hair out of place. He was completely unbothered. Your confused eyes seek for some sort of answer, something to explain the miracle before your eyes.

How can you explain the unexplained?

"H-how did you catch up?" you ask as you slowly stand. Your finger pointed towards him and shakes running through your body. You turn back to see where you had ran from. There was no way he could have been behind you. There was no way he could have beat you here.

"You tell me a secret, and I'll tell you a secret," Kas whispers excitedly. His hands cupping his cheeks as he leans into your ear. You shudder back, giving him quite the laugh. You watch him through the strands of your hair, leaning forward and covering your face.

"I don't have any secrets," you whisper under your breath. He was certainly close enough to hear you. You turn your head to him, pulling away to give yourself some space. His hand gently lands at the small of your back. A shiver rips up your spine. You grind your back teeth into dust.

"Oh, so we're lying now?" Kas chuckles out. He drags his hand across your lower back until the tips of his fingers float off. He curls around your left shoulder as he spins in front of you. He whispers, "You told him that your dad beat your mother so badly that he broke her occipital bone and you had to hold that very same bone up so her eye wouldn't fall out of its socket?"

"You were so scared it was going to pop out with every shake of your neighbor's car," he blows a raspberry between his lips before letting out a cackle.

Your feel a white hot sensation at the very top of your forehead. Your eyes begin to burn with salted tears. Your mouth drops an inch and you slowly lean back in horror and lightheadedness. Your body had the innate desire to pull from its closest threat, while your mind was short-circuiting.

Ka slows his words, calm as can be as he murmurs, "All at the age of six, right?" He leans into his heels and smiles with dimples so deep. You suddenly forget that that very same smile was the thing you looked forward to each day.

He allows you to float away from his proximity. He watches as tears fall from your eyes, and he feels that unnatural pang at the back of his throat. He tries his best to ignore it, but it's proving to be more difficult that he anticipated. He smiles, but his nails brutally dig into the flesh of his fists behind his back.

Kas watches you, watches as your eyes go dark and vacant. Eyes that are glued to the ground, with lids that barely blink. He feels a hint of concern. He clears his throat in hopes of pulling you out of this trance.

This game of his certainly took a turn that he hadn't expected. Hurting the person in front of you in some sort of mixture between physical, mental, or emotional is supposed to be fun. Why is it not fun when you care about them?

At least, not anymore.

Kas observes you closely. His hands signal to move forward, to place his palm against your cheek. It was odd - having a body part tell him what to do. It was almost as though it had done it ritualistically before. Nonetheless, he only cared about one thing. How could he pull you back?

Luckily, your eyes begin to flutter and your chin raises. Your eyes land upon his and he finds comfort in the fire deep within them. Your nostrils flare and his chest tightens. It's first warning of threat. Your hands softly trace his forearms and he's disarmed once again. Eyes glued to yours.

It wasn't until your nails dug into his skin that he realized something was wrong. Blood begins to trickle down his arms and fingers. You pull him close to you. "So when are you gonna quit pretendin' like you don't remember anything?"

Kas is taken aback. "I don't."

"You clearly do," you yell out as you push a firm hand against his shoulder. Fury filled your body. You couldn't care less about the "threat" before you. The truth was you were the even bigger threat.

"Kas? Eddie?" You lash out another push, one that makes him stumble back. "Make up your damn mind." You scoff at his impressively genuine surprised face, as if he didn't know exactly what was going on.

"You want to give me shit for thinking you're Eddie, then stop fucking acting like him," you yell out furiously and slap your palm flat across his face. You gasp, eyes bubbled with tears and shocked by what you've done. The tears fall over your lashes and straight down your cheeks. With a distant stare, you say calmly, "Stop using memories and flirting with me. I'm done, Kas."

"I'm done."

You sneak around him, not daring to touch him again. Kas lands hard against the tree, making it easier for you to pass. He couldn't feel that though, even if he tried. His body had already gone numb as he realizes what he has done.

Why did he do it? Why does he enjoy hurting you?

Kas' heart grew more and more panicked as the distance between you two increased with each passing moment. A sharp pain rips across his chest as he struggles to make a decision. A decision to forgive.

You take slow breaths, trying to calm yourself while your entire body screamed for you to run. You couldn't run, even if you actually wanted to. He made that abundantly clear. He waited until you were at least five trees down the path before he called out. Another thing Eddie used to do during fights. The similarities are impossible to ignore.

"You're right," Kas utters out. He rolls his eyes and digs his teeth into his bottom lip. He hears you chuckle out, hysterically and unnecessarily. He keeps his eyes to the sky as he awaits your mockery.

The words sounded absolutely foreign coming from his obnoxious mouth. You couldn't help but laugh as you turned around. He stares at you, blankly - with no indication of what he is thinking, what he is feeling. Your smile slowly flattens into a line. He wasn't joking, not any more. You appreciated the change, but are getting tired of the back and forth.

“I didn’t know who you were,” you say softly as you walk towards him. His eyes rake over your body with solemn eyes. Eyes that fall upon your lips and glow a soft light. He avoids your eye contact like the plague, waiting for your words to continue.

"I knew you were-" you start to fumble on your words. Only in this moment did you realize you said 'Eddie' earlier. How close to death were you? You feel the pull to be truthful - to clarify his twisted idea of what occurred.

"I knew Ed-," you take a sharp breath. His name hurts, a new sensation that you quickly despise. "Eddie," you let out in a sigh. The only way the name would fall out as you exhale from the pain it causes.

“But I knew you weren’t him, even in that first moment," you suck your tongue against your canine. You look down to both your feet, before looking back up to him and tucking a lock of hair behind your ear, just for it to fall right out. "I lied to myself, I can see that now.” Anxious fingers tap at your sides.

“I wasn’t ready to accept the truth, but I didn’t lie to you,” your voice growing more clear and confident as you end your statement. 

A wave of emotions floods Kas’ brain. He can’t ignore the pain you caused. A pain he hadn't imagined possible before meeting you. A crack in his heart so deep that it caused him to leave you in a puddle of your own tears.

But can he really blame you for what you did? For thinking he might have been the man you loved? For being confused? Exactly how he is not to blame for the intense fire burning inside his body anytime he catches a glimpse of you. 

Eddie may be dead, but there is a part of him that is fresh and beating within Kas’ chest. He loved her - loves her? Kas squeezes his eyes shut as he runs fingers through his hair. He slowly lowers into a crouch as he ponders over your words. He tries desperately to keep Vecna’s out.

… She did this. She left you to die…

“Now, it’s time for you to tell me the truth, Kas,” you demand with a wobbling voice. You sit in front of him with hands cupped at his knees. “What the hell happened back there?”

Kas bounces his head off the tops of his thighs. You wait for him, seconds to minutes and he appreciates every single one you provide. He peers up from his hands to look at you. Eyes that are lost in confusion. You take a breath that unintentionally encourages him to take his own.

"You loved him," he whispers with a solemn voice. He digs his fangs into his bottom lip, gushing blood down the sides of his lips. Any reference to Eddie pains Kas, like acid in his mouth. He watches with tearful eyes as you look at him in fear and concern.

His intended outcome.

With a quick movement, Kas stands before you, straight and tall. You jump back, completely startled by his sudden movements. “When you would sleep together,” he starts with an excited and reminscient smile. Your eyes harden as your brows pull together, beyond confused.

Upon the sight of you, Kas chuckles and extends his bloodied hand your way. “When you were actually sleeping, darlin’,” he corrects with a smirk. Your face softens as you nod in encouragement for him to continue. You nervously take his hand and stand at his side, as an equal.

Lost in story telling, Kas looks off behind you, almost as though he can see the picture of a scene unfolding before him. A trait Eddie certainly has - or had? You shake your head, ridding it of those thoughts of finality.

“You would always wake him up with your snoring,” he chuckles, biting his lip. You weren't sure what you were expecting, but it certainly wasn't that. He drops your hand, leaving you with a longing pain in your stomach.

“But he was grateful. It always gave him a chance to watch you. You - you looked so peaceful, you know?” His smirk transforms into a smile of remembrance as his eyes quickly pan over to you. “He loved pushing this silly strand behind your ear,” he says as he slowly reaches for your face. You instinctually pull away, but slowly allow him to touch a piece of hair dangling before your face. He places it behind your ear with a gentle finger. 

“He was crazy about you,” Kas adds softly, as though the words mean nothing - but you knew better. Those words mean everything to you - to you and to Eddie. Words so gut-wrenching to hear, but you do your best not to show it.

“In the cafeteria, he would watch you. Always making sure that his girl was alright,” he continues with a laugh. “Even before you were really his.” Your face twitches in confusion as the feelings coursing through your veins continue to contradict each other. 

“He always watched you,” Kas says as he closed his eyes. “Catching glimpses of your smile in between the chaos of that hell room. He didn’t even know your name yet.” His face twists, curious yet uncomfortable with the lack of understanding.

“How did he know he loved you without even knowing you?” he asks as he finally opens his eyes. Genuine curiosity fills those deadly chocolate eyes. Brown, they’re brown - not red. Not anymore. 

The silence brings attention to your trembling bottom lip. Your brows push together. You are sure there is a wrinkle forming between them. “He told me he was always curious about me,” you start self-consciously. You wanted to know more - to hear more, but you didn’t want to give Kas any more than you needed to. You needed to know exactly what he remembered.

“I remember the first time he saw you,” Kas starts with a lighthearted breath. Part of him hated this, hated talking about the man he could never be. Another part felt happiness, an overwhelming feeling that ripples throughout his body. It grows as he recognizes the same happiness in your eyes. Even though he is pain-stakingly split in two, he perseveres for you. 

“You were this nervous girl, tightening the straps of your backpack when you walked down the hallway,” he continues without skipping a beat. He gestures a line between them as though he was mapping out the school’s halls. You watch his hands intently.

“He was a junior. He knew he shouldn’t even be looking at you," Kas glances back at you, grabbing your eye line by surprise. "Fresh meat and all," he taunts with a bounce of his brow. He immediately acknowledges the confusion on your face and clarifies with a nod, “Dibs go right to first year Hellfires, but you…” He chuckles with a shrug and tightened smile.

“For you, he’d break all the rules.” 

Kas analyzes your reaction. Concern washes over him as he watches a tear stream down your cheek. To his surprise, a smile immediately follows. A smile that he is sure you are not even aware of, which makes it that much better. He could see why he loved you. Why he fell for you the second his eyes landed on yours. You are beautiful, despite your annoying, strong headed attitude. 

“Then that night, you called him up on your birthday,” Kas adds with amusement. “He was shocked that you even managed to get his number. He had been devising a plan to get yours for the past year and a half.” His eyes widen at the encouraging sound of a small giggle falling from your lips. You are still enthralled with the memory, not yet ready to fall into reality.

Falling back in with Kas, but you wanted him.

You wanted Eddie.

“When he finally got to talk to you, he knew,” Kas shares with his smile closed and pulled to the side. “I don’t know how, but he did.” The warmth in his heart was undeniable. The butterflies in his stomach, the lightness in his chest and all of it because of you.

Silence fills the air. He watches as you slowly float back into real life. He notes the point where your happiness dissipates. It just so happened to be when your eyes fall upon his, leaving that visual memory world depicted by his words.

Reluctantly, you are reminded of where you are now and how much you wish you could go back. Going back to that opening in the woods, to that bench. You are hesitant of the memories he has shared, of the hidden purpose beneath them. But above all, you are grateful. “Thank you,” you whisper as you nod, looking everywhere but his eyes.

“You’re welcome,” Kas responds with a hint of confusion and uncertainty. 

After a brief interlude of awkward silence, you say softly, “Kas, can you please tell me how we got here?” You take a step to approach him and his tree. He straightens up, hopeful of you closing the distance between you two.

Finally, your eyes scan his chest and note the many pink scratches across his skin. Your body yearns for him, worried if you were the cause. Your short-term memory is clouded, recollection impossible. An odd and unfamiliar feeling.

Taking another step, your foot slides against the wet wood of an exposed root. Your weight shifts quickly and you feel a soul-crushing pain ripping up your right leg. The shock brings along the memory of you floating in front of your two killers. 

In a panic, you rush to look down at your broken leg. Only to see that it was fine? That you, too, have a pink scratch against the side of your shin. The very spot where your bone was once protruding. Your first broken bone, and you almost vomited at the sight of your white cartilage.

“What did you do to me?” you scream as fight or flight takes over your mind. You squeeze your eyes closed, begging for your memories to share some insight into what happened to you - desperate not to depend on just Kas’ side of the story. 

Kas stands with eyes to the ground once more. You begin to notice this guilty tell of his. “You don’t need to remember that." His words cold, yet caring as though he was sacrificing something for your benefit. He places his arms at your shoulders, guiding you forward.

“No!” you exclaim as you pry his hands off of you. His guarded face drops as he realizes there is no getting out of this. “Tell me what the hell happened, Kas! Now,” you demand as you point to the ground with a stomp. Your entire body fuming as you struggle to find peace with what you have just learned.

“Okay,” Kas says calmly. “But promise me, after I do, you’ll leave this place.” His lips firm and lined. He wanted you gone. He needed you gone.

You take a deep breath, biting your lip as you watch him with fury. After he tells you what happened, you would have no reason to stay here. To stay in this fucked up version of Hawkins. You would finally be free from this never-ending shit show. Finally, you would be free to grieve. To mourn.

“I promise.”

“Kill her, for me,” Vecna booms with excitement in his eyes. Kas could not help but notice the odd interest he had in him. Almost as though every interaction was an experiment meant to be further analyzed and studied.

Usually, the words ring true in his mind anytime Vecna speaks. But this time, the words were rotten. They were impossible to follow. An impenetrable idea in his heart and in his mind that the girl before him could die. And most definitely not by his own hands. 

Kas has never disobeyed an order. He killed as easily and as quickly as the words fell from Vecna’s mouth. He did it without regret, without remorse. He killed with laughter, enjoyment. Just as Vecna taught him.

He particularly enjoyed the fellow students who recognized his former self. Each one assumed that he would help them, save them. Yet, they all called him a freak, a satanist, a murderer. They were right about two of those things anyway, and he made sure to prove it to them with their slow deaths.

But now, he is stuck - desperate for a way out. Unsure of the safest path forward. The path that will bring you to the sanctuary you deserve. He caused your pain, the least he could do was get you out of it.

His eyes travel from the horrific sight before him to Vecna’s melted flesh. A twinge of pain in his brow as he attempts to gather the words. Naively hoping that maybe, just maybe, Vecna will understand and let you go. 

Before he can do anything, Kas hears a simple whisper fall from your mouth. A whisper so sweet, so soft that it sounded like it came straight from the heavens above. And with those words, the words you thought would be your last - “I’m crazy about you, Eddie,” his heart filled with undeniable love. 

A flash of your smile strikes across mind. Laughter that he would be so lucky to listen to for the rest of his life. A moan so sexy and daunting that he had to hear more. Another flash and he stumbles back, almost in pain. Hands rushing to his head as he presses the base of his palms against his brow bone. He is transported back in time.

Back to you...

“Hey, don’t forget the popcorn, babe,” he says while munching on the last kernel. What appears to be an action movie blasts loudly across the screen. Kas recognizes the space - it’s HIS trailer. He looks to his right and lands on your beautiful smile. He almost doesn’t notice that you were wearing his t-shirt, strawberry printed panties, and fuzzy long socks bundled at your ankles. You jump over to him in excitement. The popcorn nearly falling out of the bowl. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” you say with increasing volume. Your hand rests lightly upon his chest as your other hand gestures towards the tv. Your eyes are on the movie, but his are glued to you. “This is my favorite part,” you gleam as you softly pat his chest. “I’ll be back,” you imitate in a low-toned and thick accent. 

This was the moment. The moment he knew, without a doubt, that he loved you. From that moment forward, he had every intention of making you his life partner - his wife. He had met his soulmate and he was beyond thankful, knowing that not everyone is as lucky as he. 

“I’m crazy about you, girl,” he whispers as he pushes back that familiar strand of hair that always falls in front of your face. Your smile grows as crimson rises to your cheeks. Your chin pins to your chest as you express a sweet mix of appreciation and embarrassment. 

“Oh, my love,” you whisper as you cup your hand to his cheek. He could feel your warmth. He leans into it. In this simple embrace, you have given him everything he has ever wanted. “I’m crazy about you, Eddie.” He rushes into the kiss, almost as though you may disappear before his very eyes. His hands grip tight around your waist and lower back, determined to never let you go as long as you wanted him. He loved you from the day he saw you, but this was the day he knew you loved him back. 

Kas winces, pulling out of the memory as he stumbles a few steps back. An ambiguous streak of concern riddles Vecna’s face. Save her, a familiar voice rings clear through Kas’ mind.

Vecna immediately replies, “No, you must kill her. Kill her for me.”

Kas could not even begin to comprehend that Vecna was answering his thoughts. His heart is ripping to shreds, splitting in two as he struggles to find solid ground. Save her, the voice enunciates once more. 

His eyes flick up towards Vecna. Eyes glowing red as they stare into the soulless being. A subtle shock is depicted upon Vecna’s face in response to Kas’ physical defiance.

With a quick outward throw of his hand, Kas’ energy propels Vecna out of the home and straight into the ground a few meters down. Broken wood falls everywhere. Insulation slowly seeping from the cracks.

Kas stares at this hand curiously. He did not know he was capable of such power - power comparable to his master’s. He never needed to use it. Most definitely not when met with Vecna.

With a quick glance to his incapacitation, Kas jumps towards your still floating body and wraps his arms around you. His forearm supports your neck, while his other holds your knees. He tries his best to avoid the sight of your damaged leg. It evokes a confusing and distinct feeling within that pangs his sternum.

He holds you tight against his chest, primarily for his own benefit. The warmth you exude transcending deep with his own skin, providing the comfort he desperately sought for.

Before he could step out the door, Vecna gracefully lifts from the ground with ease. He lands gently before the two of you, despite the fury building within his expression. 

All Kas could do was watch in horror. He has never once felt vulnerable before, and yet, here he is - with the most important being in the world within his arms and in harm’s way. With a simple firm hand, Vecna flings Kas against the living room. His back bounces off the wall as a ragged and pain-filled grunt drops from his mouth. 

A vengeful force pinning his head against the peeling and painted walls. Your body left rigid and exposed across the floor. He tries so desperately to pull his crown from the wall’s surface, but the power was too strong. All he wanted was to ensure your safety. 

Vecna comes into view. Those blackened eyes piercing right into Kas’ soul. “What have you done?” the low, booming voice echoes within the space. It leaves shivers down Kas’ spine.

“Let us go,” Kas spits out through grinding teeth.

Suddenly, Vecna raises his clawed hand, causing pain to electrify each and every one of Kas’ pain receptors. Open wounds spread across his chest. The oxidized air stinging the bloodied rips. A scream stills the room, a scream that only the two of them could hear. 

“Us?” Vecna says with an amused tone. He pulls his hand from the traitor’s face. A displeasing taste in his mouth. A sudden shift to his voice and Vecna’s anger appears ten-fold. “You don’t even know who she is,” he whispers as he leans into Kas’ face. His eyes admiring the pained response of his clenched jaw.

“I don’t,” Kas struggles to say. He squeezes his eyes shut, hoping that it may distract from the pain. “I don’t know you either,” he manages to let out with a fearful breath. 

Vecna’s eyes harden as he stares within Kas’. A slight head tilt and the pain disappears. Kas takes in a heavy breath, still pinned forcefully against the wall. “You know me,” Vecna mutters as he turns back to your lifeless body. He wishes he could kill you right here. Snap all your bones until you were an unidentifiable pretzel. But in order to do that, he would need to make you conscious, just for the sake of enjoyment in your death. But the thought of your aggravating voice was enough to put the pleasure of torture out of his mind. “No, I know what you want from me,” Kas whispers back. 

With heavied breaths and a tightened neck, Kas manages to lift his head from the wall to stare down onto Vecna’s burnt skull. A slight uptick of Vecna’s brow revealed the impressiveness he saw within Kas’ strength. Impressive, yet worrisome. A slow burning smirk and he returns his hollowed eyes back to the man before him. “And what do I want from you?” he says amusingly as he slowly returns his hand to Kas’ face. 

Kas immediately makes eye contact with the daggered fingers. His heart racing as he takes a loaded breath in through his nostrils. He returns his eyes towards Vecna’s, courage pouring from his irises.

“You want a lieutenant. Someone to lead your armies,” Kas spits out with disgust. “You want someone to stand beside you as the world burns.” A bellowing laugh erupts from Vecna’s chest as the hand carelessly falls from Kas’ cheek. “I don’t need someone to lead,” he laughs effortlessly. The words falling without care. “I can lead.” 

Twisting his head, Vecna pushes in closer to Kas’ face. Kas still manages to hold his head a mere inch away from the wall, but nothing more and nothing less. Only what Vecna allows. “Then why did you bring me back?” Kas hisses. His nostrils flare as he stares down his lifted chin. He desperately holds on to any autonomy he can get. 

“I need a partner,” Vecna answers softly. The bit of disdain within his voice can almost be mistaken as vulnerability. He pulls his eyes from Kas’ before he could recognize the twinge of pain within them. He walks back towards your unconscious body. He rakes over you, questioning what Kas saw in you. “You were right about one thing,” he continues as he speaks over his shoulder. “I do want someone to stand beside me as the world burns.” 

Vecna swiftly turns back to Kas. The quick movement almost berating his body with an impenetrable force that flew his head back against the wall. A soft hiss falls from Kas’ lips as he sears from the blunt pain. “What did she do?” Vecna asks as he takes another step towards him. “What did she do that made you give up on everything that we had?” 

Kas begins to feel a tightening against his neck. He coughs as he struggles to gather his breath. He tries his best to calm his body, not wanting to show any response to Vecna’s abuse. “Nothing,” he whispers with a strained voice. “She did absolutely nothing to pull me from you.” 

After a laugh of disbelief, Vecna sucks his tongue against his bottom teeth with a clenched jaw. “She had to do something, Kas,” he says with pseudo-encouragement in his tone. His boisterous attitude disappears just as quickly as it emerged. A wash of despair falls upon Vecna as he slowly realizes what you gave Kas. A thing that he could never give. Kas scoffs, enjoying the pain that resonates on the face before him. 

“You kill innocent people,” Kas asserts with a hindered voice. Now it was Vecna’s turn to laugh.

“Innocent? There’s no such thing as innocent people,” he grumbles with another painful chuckle.

Kas’ lips form into a solid line as hatred fills his lungs. “Chrissy Cunningham was innocent,” he spits out loudly.

Vecna grumbles as a slow smile forms on his face. “Who?” he asks sarcastically.

Kas hisses immediately, almost as though he was ready for Vecna’s dismissal. “The girl you killed in front of me,” he retorts. 

Vecna’s back immediately straightens as he stares at Kas in incredulity. “You remember?” he asks quietly. “No, no. You were perfect,” he attempts to understand by speaking aloud to himself.

Kas lets out another bustling laugh despite the pain it caused in his wounded body. “How many times did you kill me before I was perfect?” Kas asks nonchalantly. 

The words penetrating Vecna’s thick armor as he stumbles a step back. “How long did it take you to realize that I remembered before you sicked your bats on me? Before you brought me back again and again?” Kas lets out a simple chuckle, feeling the strength holding him against the wall weaken. He stretches his neck, hearing a clear crack in its side. “You killed me and then expected me to call you my savior,” he mutters in disgust. 

As anger boils the blood that courses through his veins, Kas pulls harshly away from the wall. The feeling no different than peeling his skin off of a burning stove. He struggles to muffle the scream forming in his throat, but his eyes are set upon Vecna. He lands harshly onto the floor, evaporating the force that held him up. 

Vecna’s expression rests in a fixed state of complete bewilderment and determination. “You may despise me, but you do love her,” he whispers in a clear monotone. His quick disconnection from reality settles in as his hand slowly raises - and you along with it. Kas’ eyes widen as he watches your lifeless body raise behind Vecna’s shoulder. 

“Would you like to feel the pain you just caused me?” Vecna says carelessly as a sadistic smile pulls to the side of his face. Kas’ eyes quickly scatter between yours and his. His entire body fuels with adrenaline as he watches your body destined for death within the hands of his “savior.”

“Wait,” he pleads. His mouth immediately fills with regret as he slowly returns his eyes to the soulless pair before him. “Don’t.” 

Vecna continues to stare into Kas. He internalizes the twitches of his face, all the pained lines drawn upon his skin. A small part of him wonders if Kas will ever care for him as much as he does for you - if he ever has. The words drop as quickly as the thought fades from his mind. “Don’t what?” he mocks.

Kas winces as he begrudgingly returns his sorrowed eyes to Vecna. “Don’t hurt her,” he whispers with a lack of intonation to his voice. “I will stay with you, but only if you let her go.” 

A heart flutters faster than intended. Faster than he ever remembered it could. Vecna swallows his pride as he slowly lowers the desolate girl behind him. “Take her to the border,” he instructs as he steps out of Kas’ direct path towards you.

Kas nods as he rushes to your side. His fingers gently brush the hair from your face as he desperately searches your skin for abrasions. “You’re okay. You’re okay,” he says softly and repeatedly. He tucks his arm underneath your neck. Another arm hooks beneath your knees as he slowly lifts both your bodies up from his crouch.

As he heads towards the door without any intention of looking back, Vecna adds, “If she returns, I will kill her.” Kas slowly turns around, following the ear closest to Vecna as he ingrains the threat into his memory. “If you don’t return, I will kill her.” Fear pangs his heart. It is almost audible as his eyes fall to the ground. He slowly turns, careful not to make sudden movements, as he and you both escape death. Vecna watches him as he carries your undeserving being through the threshold. 

As soon as he made enough headway from the now demolished house, Kas bolts into a sprint to create as much distance between you and his maker. He takes you to another piece of the fallen Hawkin’s border. Your body often smacks against his chest within his haste. The sounds are almost reminiscent of the previous night, but he pushes the thought far from his mind. 

Finally, Kas finds an abandoned church along the way. “Saint Jude’s,” he reads aloud as he walks down the stoned pathway. He finds irony in the idea but pushes through the big double doors with you in his arms. He lightly lays you down upon a pew. Another finger brushes the soft strand out of your face - a now involuntary and automatic act of care. His eyes rake your body, assessing the damages. The majority of your skin was racked with bruises. However, the biggest concern was, of course, your broken leg. 

With a heavy breath in preparation, Kas finally takes in the sight of your distorted leg. The image hurt him more than he could have ever imagined. Seething in hot breaths, he raises his wrist and bites harshly against it. Softly, he raises your head to his inner wrist. Your pretty mouth resting nicely against his wound. 

In your woozy state, you push him away. Some part of your consciousness awakens as adrenaline bursts through and your fists begin swinging. He holds you down, despite the blood falling from his forearm. “God, you’re unbearable even when you sleep,” he grumbles. Your defenses slowly soften as you slip back into unconsciousness. He raises his wrist to your mouth once more. His other hand slowly caresses the back of your head as his fingers trace through strands of your hair.

As soon as a drop of blood falls upon your lips, your body craves it. Suddenly, your hands were holding the back of his wrist and pressing his forearm against your face. He tries his best not to find the interaction incredibly arousing, but your embrace, light sucks, and little nibbles make his head swoon. You took as much of him as you needed, falling back in exhaustion once finished. 

Kas hovers over you for what seemed like hours, but is truly only minutes. A smile forms on his face as he watches the bruises slowly disappear from your beautiful skin. “You’re okay, darlin’,” he whispers. The words finally feel true. He places a gentle kiss on your forehead. A kiss you will never know of. 

With that, he carries you up to his chest once more to finish the trek to the border. He cannot help the smirk that plagues his cheeks as he feels you nuzzle against him. A clear, but subtle smile forming on your own lips. 

“And then he let us go and I healed you with my blood,” Kas states matter-of-factly with a shrug. His back still leaning heavily against the tree trunk. Arms and ankles crossed as he slowly raises his eyes onto yours. 

You stumble back, placing a hand against your stomach. Nausea washes over your head as you attempt to process the information provided. You quickly drop to your knees. The movement is sudden enough that Kas jumps from the tree, desperate to catch you. “I’m okay,” you say as you swat his hands away. “I-I just,” you start, breathlessly. “I just need a second. That-that was a lot.” He steps back slowly and hesitantly. He gradually falls into a squat in front of you as he mindlessly picks up random leaves to play with - giving you the space you asked for. 

Your mind feels fixed, almost as though you cannot trust your own memories. What Kas says happened sounds familiar, yet unfamiliar all at the same time. You also cannot forget that the truth does not come so easily from those particular supple lips. You push your fingers through your hair, trying not to burst into sobs over the lack of control. It is not easy to accept being a toy in someone else’s game, to accept no longer being the main character. 

From what Kas shared, you should be safe. You should be free, yet - you feel anything but. Something was not right. “Kas,” you whisper, breaking the silence. His head pops up almost immediately. “So, Vecna tried to kill me. He-he broke my leg,” you attempt to recollect. The words all feeling familiar. “You both fought and then he just agreed to let us go?” you ask in disbelief. Kas nodded, gesturing a compressed shrug with his hands. 

“I don’t believe you,” you say lightly with a shake of your head. 

Kas scoffs as he pushes his curly hair back. The smile almost juvenile as he looks back at you with distrust. “Believe what you want, darlin’,” he shrugs once again. He stands up, making his way back to his trusty tree. “No,” you say abruptly, standing yourself. “There’s no way he would let us go without anything in return,” you murmur to yourself, thinking aloud. “What did you do?” you ask with horrified eyes. 

He deadpans as soon as your question hits his ears. With a deep breath, he whispers, “I got us out.” You walk towards him with a stubborn, determined pace as your palms press against his chest. “What did you do, Kas?” you ask again as you watch him stumble back from your push. With a look of annoyance, he rushes you with a finger pointed in your face. “I saved your life and this is the thanks I get,” he yells with hands out to his sides. “God,” he scoffs, pulling away from you and throwing a hand up. “I did what I had to,” he mumbles as he adds more distance between you two. 

You follow him, a gentle hand to his wrist as you turn him around. Those gentle brown eyes that you know so well staring back at you. This time you recognize Kas within them. “Kas, what did you do?” you ask calmly. His gaze falls to your hand. He slowly lowers your fingers and intertwines them with his before flicking his eyes back to you. “I have to go back,” he whispers, like an innocent boy admitting his wrongs.

You take a sharp breath as you try your best to keep calm, but your head is already involuntarily shaking no. “It’s okay,” Kas murmurs as he tightens his palm against yours. “I’ve made my peace.” Your eyes swiftly fall upon his, tears welling. “No,” you muster. “You don’t have to.” The unbearable weight pressing against your chest has only just lifted, and yet, another hundred or so pounds are added on. A man who pained you so harshly, who then saved you, is going back to hell for you. The words are beyond confusing to think about, but it does not change the feeling of hope you have towards your new ally. 

“You don’t have to go back,” you whimper as your other arm rests against his back and pulls him into a hug. The warmth of his embrace confirms that bit of his story within your own memory. “If I don’t go, I am setting up some other miserable fuck for hell on Earth,” he whispers in your ear as his chin finds a spot upon your shoulder. His hand pressing against the base of your skull, supporting you. “I won’t do that to someone else.” 

You pull away, shaking your head again. His forehead falls against the crook of your neck, almost naturally. “Aren’t you supposed to be the bad guy?” you ask incredulously. His head lifts as confusion presses his brows together. “Why do you care what happens to the next guy?” A smile pulls to the side of his face as he presses his hips against yours. The largest space between you two rests between your chests as you hold each other tightly at the waist. “You must be rubbing off on me,” he mutters softly. 

“Come with me, Kas,” you say as you break away from the embrace. Your fingertips brushing against his as you attempt to walk into the field. The sun is starting the set and the light blue sky fills with orange. As you continue to step into the field, you swear the air tastes different. “I can’t,” he whispers as you pull away and he chooses not to chase you.

The act stops you in your tracks as you look back at him. You take the second to think, to devise a plan. “If I promise you that we can kill him, maybe not today or tomorrow, but some day we will come back and kill him - then, would you come with me?” you ask hopelessly. You have absolutely no idea of how that might happen. How you two might accomplish such a feat. You have never known the need for revenge until meeting Kas. Nothing will stop you from finding out how to put Vecna in the ground, and suffer as you do it. 

Without thinking, the words fall from your lips all with good intent, “I promise you. Will you come with me?” You walk back to the border, only a step away from the impending doom that is Hawkins. Your hand extended for someone who is just as capable of that same doom, and yet, you pray he will take it. You hope he will join you in this world and that he will help you defeat your lover’s killer. All you can do is hope. A hand falls into yours, breaking your string of thoughts. 

“I will,” Kas says softly as he steps into the orange glow of the sunset.

note: how we feeling? what are we thinking? we have 3 more parts to go and best believe the gang will be making an appearance! thank you for taking the time to read 🤍 i hope you will share your thoughts!

next part • feeling everything •

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