-not all blood is equal but all of it will keep you fed.

-the camarilla are sketchier than they seem… do not trust them fully

- go to college like 7 times… what else are you doing. i have a degree in blood studies .ᵥ_ᵥ. i’m also a liscensed pharmacist in all 50 states… different names though obviously.

-if you do end up having to fake your death… it’s really not all that hard tbh. i personally haven’t had to but yk.

-try not to angst so much. yeah your MORTAL friends and family will die but there are other vampires out there just be chill with them and they’ll mostly be chill with you. we’re ur family now.

Ummm, but you most definitely are handsome?? You’re a vampire after all, for heavens sake! What could be sexier??!

* Find a “family” dentist if you know what I mean

* Sunglasses. They’re a lifesaver

* There is a “family” company that sells moisturizer for vampires that have a tint that helps our skin look less pale. Their company is called “LifeGivers.” (They’re a bit hard to find, just let me know)

* Just have fun and try not to think about that feeling in your chest, because that’s when bad things start to happen

* Moonbathe >>>

* If anyone asks “What’s that red stuff you’re drinking?” Always answer quickly: “Cranberry/pomegranate juice.” They never question it beyond that.

* Find some fellow vampires to commiserate with and talk about our un-lives.

I hope this helps some, sweet vampire ♥️🦇

-sincerely, your 521 year old Vampire friend Jack :)

hihihi!!! if any other vamps get cravings for like. the kinda metallic taste that blood has i recommend these! they, for some reason, have an ungodly amount of iron and it really comes out in the flavor. also its dark chocolate and pomegranate so i mean. hell to the yeah.

This is Felix. I can help you with this one!

Step one: stop being a little bitch

s0oo00o0o you would like to hunt vampires ethically. here is some advice for you, Brave New Adventurer!

KNOW YOUR VAMPIRE. not all vampires are the same. there are modern vampires (edward, dracula mayb..), and sooo much more, strigoi, jiangshi, estries, aswang, dhampirs (who might be sensitive about not being considered vampire or human enough! be nice!!!!!), other vampiric entities, or maybe.. you aren't dealing with a vampire at all, in which case, you are out of luck my friend. but if you don't know these distinctions how can you ever expect to respect the creature you are encountering? you are much more likely to offend.. the consequences of which would be DIRE upon your entire village, country, planet, universe, take your pick sweetheart:3

Ask yourself why you are finding this vampire, what signs they have left, what harm has been done to your immediate community. Are they a spirit who has been disturbed? Are they an aristocrat who is exploiting serfs, from your point of view? It is essential that you don't provoke further aggression, but also try not to deceive anyone about what they are dealing with - and listen to trusted community members about the folklore of the place in which this entity is located. Each place, even the same place under a different time and conditions, will have its own logic and consistency. Suspend your own moral judgement, respect everyone if you can, and at the very least prioritize your community, never your own desire for recognition or heroism.

READ the signs they might have already left you. Most vampires will have detected they are being hunted before you even begin the hunt - they will anticipate you before you think they could, and that is just the beginning. If you do not show awe and due respect you will bring nothing but ruin to your legacy. If there are victims, examine them, the bite marks they have. If it is an energy vampire, examine closely places where energy has been drained. Not all vampires need blood or energy to live, some can eat human foods. Do not ever assume anything. You know what assumptions make you into, right?

Do not be a stalker. The classical vampire is very polite, only entering when invited. So why would YOU enter uninvited? That would be extremely rude would it not? Whether you are approaching a beehive or a haunted castle, you owe your target/prey/however you see them at least a knock and an explanation, right? And if they don't answer, you know the rules - do not enter without a warrant signed by a judge (most judges will not take "I think they are a vampire!" as a valid concern to obtain a warrant for a civilian or a non-civilian, hm).

If you must set a trap, such as in the case where the surrounding communities and ecosystems are being significantly disturbed and you need to prevent further damage, you absolutely must construct this trap with the informed consent of all parties involved (this means any humans will know they are dealing with a vampire, and the vampire will know they are walking into a trap and do it anyways free of coercion). SOmE vampires are old and gay and find it entertaining to be trapped, as a test of your skills and because they are bored and tired of being buried undead with a brick in their mouths by villagers. Others are young and will be terrified if they realize the nightclub they thought would be friendly to them, is in fact full of stakes. Others still will be greatly offended if you use the wrong spiritual implements against them, or disrespect who they were before becoming a vampire in any way. Try to avoid these scenarios or any combination of them as best you can. Of course, you are only human, so you will inevitably mess it up.

Take notes throughout the entire process like a scientist. Write down every single detail, whether or not it works. Think of it like a journal and a research study at once. And here is the most important part: you can only share this research with the world, yes, with the informed consent of ALL parties involved:) And if that is an issue you can always change facts and names and publish it as fiction. But it must stay as fiction.

Once the vampire is cornered in some way, congratulations I guess, you have managed to do it. Hopefully you have not offended them and triggered the wrath of an entire coven of vampires. But let's say it is your best case scenario. They are definitely shaken up, defenseless, scared, or maybe projecting false confidence. You try to make them comfortable. Ask them what they need, and don't be surprised if they speak a language that no longer exists (learning the linguistic history of the particular area/people you are near or they come from helps with that) - but do your best to provide Everything they ask for in an ethical way. Then, and only then, can you try to find out why there has been an issue in the community with their presence. And the answer is NEVER simply "this creature exists and they should not exist." Often they have been exploited for so long, they have lost the ability to understand kindness from someone. And true kindness cannot be shown through a performance, it has to be genuine. Which may feel exceptionally difficult to you if you are used to thinking of the world in binaries of good vs evil, or feeling internalized shame about yourself. Not sure though, some people do just have a skill for it. Either way, keep an open mind to their demands or requests, while also communicating the real concerns of the surrounding communities. This is what you signed up for. Exactly what you signed up for. You are a mediator in this moment, a host, and a guest, all at once.

Ask them if it is okay for you to share anything they have told you, and to what extent - there is no vampire HIPPA, because doctors are stupid, but pretend there is. Provide what the entity asked for. Stay in touch in case issues arise again. Maintain trust. Visit for dinner sometime. Take precautions to protect your own life, but don't show unnecessary fear - the creature can feast on that too.

If what they consent to and the community deems necessary is some form of containment, genuinely give that containment as much effort as you can. Think of it as the SCP foundation, not a cage, unless that's what they explicitly want. Re evaluate at times. Allow an option for release if needed. You are NOT trapping an ancient force below a glacier. You are NOT saving a homeless cat. You are communication, consciousness to consciousness, with something likely much older than you. Show some self restraint, and maybe even a little love here and there.

: { H } :

"Only if you fail to find other immortals... You adjust to the loneliness of it after awhile. Learning to let go of attachments is half the battle."