Volturi Advice Blog

You must be some sort of psychic, my dear! Some kind of dweller in bygones! How delightful! In fact, Demetri got me into them for a period of time. My my I haven’t thought of that in quite awhile. Although, these days I have to say I prefer a nice black formal suit!

In regards to your abilities, our doors are always welcome to you in Volterra! Just let our secretary know in advance!

Warm regards,

People need to understand that I do not hate people without reason. The problem is almost everyone is a sniveling imbecile. I truly enjoy my brothers and our guard, because they deserve that. Almost everyone else does not.

When it comes to Athenodora, I see her. I truly see her. She is more lovely than any other creature, not only in mind but also in spirit. She possesses every trait I have ever admired and more. I would refrain from being . . . callous, if everyone were like my love. Alas, people are insufferable and can not handle keeping a few simple laws. I hope this answers your question, but also I could not care any less.

Regards,

We have to keep up with the humans and their changing whims to ensure our safety. The amount of times we have caught vampires over sharing on the internet — treating public social media profiles like a diary — would astound you. We monitor everything extremely closely.

That being said, how could we not know about tik tok? Vampires are allowed to have social media as long as they are private and do not allow humans to follow them.

On a side note, the masters made an actual law stating that Edward Cullen is not allowed to have any form of social media. But that’s a story for another time, if you ask to hear it of course.

Anyways, back to tik tok. Not only do we know of tik tok, some of us really enjoy it. At first all of us were hesitant, but there is some really great content on it. Felix and I are probably into it the most. (Just last week I cut off his senses for an entire day because he told me that a video I liked wasn’t funny.)

Some of us even make videos on our private accounts. Maybe, if you ask nicely, I’ll tell you what type of tik toks certain guard members enjoy/make.

(Out of character note before I answer this: so smeyer confuses me with the ages of the Kings because she claims that Marcus is St. Marcus which would make him the guy who wrote the gospel of mark in about 66 AD, don’t judge me I went to a religious school and we had to learn all of this. I’m actually planning on making a post on my regular tumblr about this soon. Because of that it’s most likely that he was born about the same time as Jesus, but there is one other theory I have that I’ll talk about in my post. Also thank you for this question cause I feel like the Marcus/Jesus connection isn’t talked about enough)

I’m glad you asked about this. You see, to say that I met Jesus would be an understatement.

As you are probably well aware, I am called Saint Marcus. Well, people used to also call me “john mark” or “mark the evangelist” as I wrote the Gospel of Mark (I preferred Mark back then, but I grew out of that). This question has brought back many pleasant memories. I was not Jesus’ inner twelve, but I was around for a lot.

There’s a story coming to mind that you might enjoy. When the mob came to arrest Jesus in Gethsemane one of his followers was only wearing a linen tunic. When someone tried to grab and arrest that follower too, he slipped out of his tunic and fled naked. Well, this might make some vampires respect me less, but that was actually me. The other Gospel writers neglected to include that detail out of regards for me as they didn’t want to embarrass me. However, I included it in my gospel because I thought it lightened the mood a little bit in such a tragic scene. I just didn’t reveal that I was in fact the man who retreated in such an indecent manner. I had a bit more of a sense of humor back then than I do now, but I suppose you know why I have lost that.

I have decided that I will abstain from telling you whether Jesus was all that was claimed or not. I have grown out of the evangelism of my youth. It is for you to decide and not for me to tell.

Thank you for letting me relive some memories and forget about the sorrow that plagues me, if only for a few moments.

Warm regards,

I should’ve posted this as Aro or something but too late I’m too lazy to write this in character. I am sorry that this blog has been inactive for so long! My mental health hasn’t been the greatest the past few months and school has been extremely hard on top of that. I know I still could’ve posted but I would’ve been half-assing it and I like to put a lot of effort into these answers(even if they seem simple). You guys have been sending lovely questions that I can’t wait to answer. I’m hoping to get back into this soon!

Best,

Things can always be worse. For example, you could be Edward Cullen.

- Caius

Now now Caius. Do not be rude. I think what my brother means to say is that Edward is full of self hatred. It seems like such a hard way to live constantly punishing yourself for just going about your life. So what he means is that there will always be someone more miserable and you should enjoy whatever level of positivity you have. I hope your day gets better and I’m sure that you are lovely.

The rifle brand? Honestly, I didn’t think that was used much these days.

I remember seeing something about the heir Sarah Winchester believing she was haunted.

I personally don’t really care for guns. But I do, perhaps surprisingly, love a good story that involves the . . . supernatural. Humans can be so odd convincing themselves that they’re being haunted. Of course, the irony of me being a vampire isn’t lost on me.

Of course! We enjoy each other’s company immensely. If we did not, our days would be quite dreary. Many people assume we are carbon copies of each other. This is simply not true! We have very different personalities, but they compliment each other quite well. Thank you for your lovely question :)

Best,

Find out their insecurities and don’t hold back.

Regards,