#v polyamory

Todas is 2×1

Kuina needs to keep her partners alive.

mini flags #34 f2u with or without credit!

Kenji took that beanie off when Ben was injured. Basically took Gia away from Ben.

He didn’t have a beanie in the hyperloop. It was just them.

Kenji didn’t throw the beanie away; put it in his jacket. As in: “I’m at your side right now, so Gia’s just gonna step aside for a bit.”

Is it a "normal poly thing" for me as a female to have a gf and a bf but the two of them don't have a relationship? What are some tips to making this work and comfortable for everyone?

Yes, that is called “V-shaped” polyamory and is one of the more common polyamorous arrangements. It’s actually pretty rare for there to be three or more people where all parties are dating. Even though media depictions, news stories, fanfiction, etc. tend to focus on triads or polycules where everyone is in a relationship with everyone, that’s not as common.

Tips for making it work are going to be the same as in all other healthy polyamorous relationships. Open, honest communication. Everyone taking responsibility for identifying and articulating their own needs and feelings. Since this is a very common polyamorous relationship configuration, most of the advice you’ll find in my FAQ resources will be helpful.

Also, the idea of a “normal poly thing” is useless. Even if you three were the only people in the world doing this, that wouldn’t really matter. And plenty of things that are “normal” or common in polyamorous relationships are not healthy and happy. Normalcy is not a measure of anything meaningful. You don’t need to find out if something is “normal” before trying it out. If it’s healthy and happy for you, it’s fine.

Yup!

V: A polyamorous relationship involving three people, in which one person is romantically or sexually involved with two partners who are not romantically or sexually involved with each other.

So it seems really uncommon to have a polyamorous relationship with two or more males with one woman. Am I just looking in the wrong places (just in terms of seeing how others handle this dynamic, not looking as in seeking). I am not really interested in other women. But i feel like it’s not realistic to want a relationship with two straight men who would want to both be with me, more than sexually. Do you have any thoughts on this?

Up until very recently, that was exactly the situation I was in - I identified as a straight woman and dated mostly straight men. For most of my dating life I have been in “V-shaped” relationships that looked like: me, a straight woman, dating Scorpio, a straight man, and Leo, a straight man, and maybe also Orion, a straight man. (Sometimes the men I dated were not straight; I don’t want to erase anyone’s identities, but mostly, they have been.) Often the men I dated got along well, but they were not romantically or sexually involved with each other. And typically they were dating other women as well.

This is, in my experience, actually a very common polyamorous configuration! Straight men are socialized in such a way that they are a population very well represented in polyam circles. If what you’re hoping for is a triad, where both straight men are involved romantically or sexually with each other, well, that’s not usually how straight men work - but it sounds like you’re looking for the opportunity to have multiple straight male partners who are okay with you having other male partners. That is very, very possible!

i think this post will eventually find itself

i dont wanna seem like im cheating, ever

but i actually have 2 partners

mohima, if you're reading this i'd like you to meet azi/mondo one day

and azi, you're totally reading this

but i want you to meet mohima

i hope this doesnt call out any arguments (ALSO MOHIMAS A GIRL)

It’s your feeling, you’re having it, and it’s real. It doesn’t matter if it’s a common feeling; there is no bell curve of frequency that determines whether a feeling is appropriate or valid.

As long as this arrangement is working for you and your partners, it’s all good. Does partner B know you feel this way? Or are they expecting/hoping/looking ahead to settling down with you in the future? Do you and your partners use a tiered (primary/secondary/etc) system for polyamory, or are you just letting the relationships define themselves?

As long as everyone is on the same page and expectations are shared, it’s all good. Don’t set someone up to be hurt or let down; don’t pretend like your feelings for B are something other than they are to keep B on the line. How common this feeling is is less important than whether everyone involved is okay. Do what’s right, healthy, and fulfilling for all parties involved - even if you three are the only people on the planet facing this issue.