#straight poly

since there are already m-spec gay and lesbian flags, i designed some straight / strayt m-spec flags! let me know if you have any suggestions to make these better

from left, to right: straight bi, straight poly, straight omni, straight pan

So it seems really uncommon to have a polyamorous relationship with two or more males with one woman. Am I just looking in the wrong places (just in terms of seeing how others handle this dynamic, not looking as in seeking). I am not really interested in other women. But i feel like it’s not realistic to want a relationship with two straight men who would want to both be with me, more than sexually. Do you have any thoughts on this?

Up until very recently, that was exactly the situation I was in - I identified as a straight woman and dated mostly straight men. For most of my dating life I have been in “V-shaped” relationships that looked like: me, a straight woman, dating Scorpio, a straight man, and Leo, a straight man, and maybe also Orion, a straight man. (Sometimes the men I dated were not straight; I don’t want to erase anyone’s identities, but mostly, they have been.) Often the men I dated got along well, but they were not romantically or sexually involved with each other. And typically they were dating other women as well.

This is, in my experience, actually a very common polyamorous configuration! Straight men are socialized in such a way that they are a population very well represented in polyam circles. If what you’re hoping for is a triad, where both straight men are involved romantically or sexually with each other, well, that’s not usually how straight men work - but it sounds like you’re looking for the opportunity to have multiple straight male partners who are okay with you having other male partners. That is very, very possible!

Yes, absolutely you can be poly while also being straight! One is about your relationship orientation - how you process, understand, and experience your relationships. The other is about your sexual orientation - how you process, understand, and experience your sexual attraction. 

You may be confused if your understanding of polyamory is mostly of the triangle-shaped, or triad, type. I can see how it might be hard to picture yourself in a closed relationship with multiple people if you’re straight (though some straight people do; you can only speak for yourself.) But that’s not the only type of polyamory that exists. I am straight, and poly! I only date men, but I date multiple men at the same time. Most of the men I date are also straight, so all my relationships are V-shaped: I date X and Y, but X and Y are not dating each other, because they’re both men who don’t date men.