#utter shit

Buried by guilt felt through all

Burned by scorned emotions

Broken by world percived

Born by trauma found within

Brought by sliver strands I follow

Bought by time's machine line

Bribed by the things I deny myself

...

Blithering belligerent bassy backwater bolderdash

I speak nothing of my musings

Minds tape whirling winding repeting scratching

I am tired, alone, broken, angry, scared, ruthless, pathetic, trained, flimsy, simple, and so fucking smaaaarrrrt.... none of who I am makes sense, the lines people draw for identity, I can not abide.

This is allllll his fault... that fat ogre-ous agregious bundle of wires, I'd hate them more, every phase, if I didn't have to pick up the torch, to wear his skin, to say I am and all before, I seen him, them, in all.

You are not alone, you are not the worst of it, you are a fucking human, welcome to the club...

be thankful your gears do not hum a tune

rhymtic and simple as you journey to tomb

You will rue yourself and by extension all

You will feel know and make the past fall

If not, what was; is, and that doesn't forbode well

If what you are is, then instead of past you will dwell

ahahahahhahaahaha

how about you sit in the corner and think about what you just said, dearest anon.

not that i have to explain myself or my writing process to anyone - even less to someone who is as obnoxiously rude as you are - let me spell it out for you:

i have been working on pt 3 for about a week now. i have around 3.5k words written so far, and i will post it whenever the fuck i feel like it. ok? ok.

other than that, thank you for the laugh ahaha

Chapters: 11/? Fandom: Game of Thrones (TV), A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen, Lyanna Stark/Rhaegar Targaryen, Robert Baratheon/Lyanna Stark, Catelyn Stark/Ned Stark, Jon Snow & Lyanna Stark, Cersei Lannister/Jaime Lannister, Cersei Lannister/Stannis Baratheon Characters: Jon Snow | Aegon Targaryen, Lyanna Stark, Ned Stark, Catelyn Tully Stark, Benjen Stark, Robb Stark, Original Male Character(s), Robert Baratheon, Cersei Lannister, Jamie Lannister, Stannis Baratheon, Joffrey Baratheon, Daenerys Targaryen, Maester Luwin, Old Nan, Hodor, Arya Stark, Sansa Stark Additional Tags: Eventual Romance, Angst, Jon is an angsty fuck, R Plus L Equals J, Eventual Smut, Some Rhaegar/Lyanna smut sooner than later though, wolves and dragons, Targaryen Restoration, Not for Robert Baratheon fans, Rhaegar gets treated a little better but he’s still kind of a dipshit, Cersei/Stannis is a goddamned nightmare and I don’t even know where to start with that shitshow Summary:

Starring: Arielle Kebbel from Vampire Diaries and Andrew W. Walker, who is one of my favourite male leads for these movies. He’s got this little tiny mole beside his eye and he’s so freaking adorable, it kills me. He has probably been in other stuff or something, but who cares? Hallmark movies are where he belongs.

Street Cred: 9/10 because Walker has done over 20 made for TV movies in the last 15 years. Kebbel has done a handful herself, but whatever.

Official Synopsis: A single man tries to win a bet by getting a woman recovering from a broken engagement to marry him by Christmas.

What Really Happens: Ugh, that synopsis, amirite? I wish I could tell you the movie isn’t as advertised, but...it’s worse. So, to start, Jessie (Kebbel) is getting married! Maybe. She’s already ditched two fiances, and she does make it down the aisle on the third go ‘round, but she just keeps going, all the way back home, where she tries to bury herself in her and her sister’s interior design business.

Hallmark has been really trying to show they can change with the times and include diversity in their casts so right away we find out Jessie’s sister, the great Kimberley Sustad, is gay. They never say the words “lesbian” (or bisexual or pansexual, etc.) and we never see her with anyone even though she goes on a hot date during the film, but I guess for Hallmark this is a BIG DEAL.

Then we meet Aiden (Walker). Aiden is an everyman. He’s a serial dater who calls women ‘girls’ and gets offended when his buddies tell him he’s not marriage material because Hey! He’s the one deciding not to get married, not the women he never calls back! Aiden and his equally horrible friend/boss make a bet that Aiden can’t get a woman to accept his marriage proposal in less than 4 weeks, which just happens to be Christmas day. Gasp! Shock! What are the odds?

Aiden’s parent’s divorce ruined him (insert eyeroll here) so his apartment is super sparse. When Jessie’s sister pimps her out to Aiden to reel him in as a client, she really does try to stay professional and keep him at an arms length, but Aiden is a bit of a stalker and keeps showing up uninvited, kind of like her recently abandoned ex-fiance, who cannot accept that they won’t eventually get married and plots behind Jessie’s back with her equally delusional mother throughout the movie.

Look, there isn’t a whole lot redeemable about this movie, but as I’m sure you’ve guessed by now, in the Hallmark universe, as long as they fall in love, how they got there doesn’t matter! Predictably, they start to like each other. Like, LIKE like. Like that. And in a surprise twist, Jessie proposes to Aiden! Because that’s apparently what went wrong the first three times. But guess what? Aiden has Real Boy feelings! He wants to call off the bet and spend the rest of his life calling Jessie his old lady! Jessie finds out, of course, and kicks him to the curb...until Aiden plots with her family and throws her a surprise Christmas morning apology/wedding. I’m not even kidding.

I don’t feel bad if I’ve spoiled the ending for you because you shouldn’t waste your time watching this movie. It’s awful and there’s a lot to unpack, and Hallmark is tripping if they think they can throw in one invisibly queer side character while loading up on damaging and chauvinistic tropes.

Teacup’s Tidbits:

Arielle Kebbel looks like a mean girl and I’m always surprised when she isn’t

”If you don’t go through with it {the wedding} Mom will start thinking you’re gay, too!”

Real smooth, Hallmark. As subtle as a brick, as usual.

Her father calls her Bolt. These people are awful.

The bet is made for office space? Seriously?

Fifth time Aiden and his friends say ‘girl’ instead of woman or, godforbid, USE HER NAME.

He’s surprised she eats hamburgers. (But no fatties, right?)

I hate this guy. Seriously, completely hate him.

Hank, sweetie, my dude. She’s not going back to you. You can do better.

I’ve stopped counting the ‘girl’ instances, but not once have they called a female anything but that.

She just called him “damaged goods”, might be my favourite part of this movie

Wait. Their business has almost no clients but she can afford to have her wedding dress custom made in less than a week?

Oh, a surprise wedding. What a great way to force her to accept your proposal.

Ugh.

How I Would Fix This With Fic: Kill it with fire.