#update post!

i am so tired y’all, this has been A Time lately. i have gotten very little writing done this week. but a bunch of this, i wrote ages ago, and am delighted to finally get to use. 

I was like ah this chapter’s the punchline but no as i proofread it, it’s really all just more setup. man like really most of what i write is setup. i guess there’s occasional punchlines. who knows. i feel like y’all think there’s gonna be more punchlines than there are. it can be fun to get comments that are like “oh X is gonna happen!” that are correct, sometimes it’s fun when they are incorrect, but a lot of times I’m just sort of like “oh yeah i did set up X to happen and I just... am not going to write that, didn’t even think of seeing it through...” well. listen sometimes a story is larger than you can actually tell.

it is extremely obvious what we are setting up for, though, and i am delighted in that case.

But also there’s a bunch of stuff I decided it was more expedient not to directly tell, so there’s allusions to there having been a whole lot of shit going on that the POV character does not know about, and all shall be revealed but possibly not all shall be revealed directly. so bear with me. it’s not even that i’m trying to be clever and indirect and whatever, it’s that i wrote the long thing and was like this is too fucking long and don’t know how else to work it in.

Sometimes a story is larger than you can actually directly tell!

anyway chapter 7 of growing out is here on AO3

and it definitely passes the bechdel test, for whatever that’s worth

Well, there wasn’t a casual way to approach. Ves thought it over for a moment, and then thought about how she really only had one style of handling things, so if she wanted to attempt to handle this, it would have to be in that style. She walked boldly up to the alcove, leaned her hip against it, and said gruffly, “Are you all right?”

Breniriel had a bit of dry hardtack in a napkin, and a little bottle of water, and had been staring grimly at the hardtack when Ves walked up. She glanced up in startlement, wary, but then relaxed slightly. She looked— she still looked pretty but she looked a bit rumpled, close up, her face blotchy and a little swollen like she really had been crying. She looked miserable.

“I’m fine,” she said sullenly, and then put her hand over her mouth and sat with her eyes closed for a long moment as if she were trying not to be sick.

“Shit,” Ves said, “no you’re not. Who is it? What did they say? I can break another face. Nobody here can say shit to me if I do.”

Breniriel didn’t answer for a moment, and then looked up at her and laughed mournfully. “No,” she said, “no, it isn’t— nobody said anything to me. I just don’t feel well.”

“Oh,” Ves said awkwardly. “Sorry.” That sounded stupid. “I mean, sorry to hear it. It’s not the flu, is it? Either way, can I go get you anything?”

“No,” Breniriel said, “no, it’s— it’s fine. I’ll be all right in a moment. And it’s not the flu, you needn’t worry.”

Ves thought hard for a moment, about the kind of thing that would make a woman be intermittently nauseous and tearful while being so clearly not the flu that Brenieriel wasn’t concerned about it despite a recent epidemic, and then narrowed her eyes. “Who did this to you,” Ves demanded, gesturing at her belly.

OOC. look! devilswinging is updating again! i may not actively post for now (because overall muse is still dead), but i wanted to update everyone on some timeline revisions i’ve done since personally playing BATIM and reading Dreams Come to Life. everything’s gonna be under a cut so that it doesn’t clog up anyone’s dashboard. i wanted to update everyone because if i do come back to tumblr rp, i’ll immediately be jumping into this revised timeline instead of keeping the old one

hey t,

with this nationwide quarantine and lots and lots of time spent inside, i figured i would write out a little update about my life for you. i graduate college in may and i could not be more excited! i get my cap and gown in two weeks and i can’t wait to show you what i have planned for my cap decorations. i’ll be getting two degrees, one in history and one in political science! i can’t believe it’s time for me to graduate already, it really feels like it was yesterday that i was in my freshman dorm screaming over ‘i don’t wanna live forever’. with this crazy, exciting time in my life comes a lot of anxieties, though. i am scared about finding a job during this virus, scared about being able to pay back my almost $40K in loans, and scared that i just won’t be able to find something i’m passionate about. one of the only things bringing me comfort during all of this is you and your music and your heart. you have no idea how special you are and how much seeing you on tumblr, interacting with my best friends, lifts my spirits during all of this isolation. today, i left the house for the first time in weeks. i got in my car, rolled down the windows, and turned daylight up as loud as i could. something about the wind in my hair, the sunshine on my skin, and your comforting lyrics gave me such an intense feeling of hope, i couldn’t help but cry. i love you so much, t. thank you for being there for me during all of the difficult times in my life, especially with what we are all going through right now. i truly don’t know where i’d be without you and your advice. i’ll send more updates as all of this craziness continues and, hopefully, winds down. i included a picture of me and stark so you could see how big she’s getting! she’s going to be a year old next month, can you believe it? i hope all is well with you and your heart. 

love always,