Iāve tried to start this fic a few times and I hope one day I can get it right but Iāve been brewwwwwing on a fic set during the hook up we totally have no feelings !!! At all !! We are sooo casual !!! Years where Ilya takes a hit to the mouth- required sutures in his bottom lip/chin. He still messaged Shane about meeting up after so Shane assumes the hit wasnāt anything bad- Ilya hadnāt come back on after but it had been close to the end of time anyway.
Shane meets Ilya in the hotel room theyād booked- because they are in Boston- and heās all what the fuck? Are you ok? When he walks in and Ilya bares his teeth at him at the best smile he can show and just says ākept all my teethā and wiggles his brows at Shane and Shane is all - look we donāt have to (and he doesnāt really mean it- heās been thinking about it for weeks, the match circled in his mind in bright red marker- purely from the release it is, to have Ilya fuck him- thatās why heās been counting down to it. And this this really will be one of the last times he tells himself too- a lie he will buy into until the next time and he still needs it this badly) and Ilya shrugs and says āif it puts you off- fine, butā and waves his hand, shrugs like he doesnāt care if Shane does (and he doesnāt really mean it either- he cares, he wants Shane here he wants the closeness he wants to fuck him. He has been thinking about being inside Shane since the last time and itās just because heās a good fuck and he just need it a few more times and then we can stop this for once and for all)
And so Shane shakes his head and tells Ilya his loss puts him off more and Ilya scoffs, a little surprised sound like at Shaneās chirp and he rolls his eyes and says āHollander be a good little nurse look after me, make me feel betterā as he strips himself down, and Shane hates that that works, that somehow Ilya makes it sound sexy- and so Shane does the same, climbs into Ilyaās lap in his boxers and then their hands are on each other and itās familiar and hot and good and Shane on instinct goes to lean into Ilyaās face and he sees the sutures and dried blood and remembers. He tucks his face into Ilyaās neck and kisses there instead, grinding their bodies together and Ilya opens him up like that, sat in Ilyaās lap, Shaneās arms wrapped around Ilyaās shoulders, his mouth panting into Ilyaās collarbone as his fingers push into Shane and open open open him.
Theres this ache opening in Shaneās chest that he canāt place, a weird empty mess and he presses his forehead to Ilyaās cheek as Ilya pulls the condom on himself, closes his eyes and presses his nose into Ilyaās skin and chews at his own mouth as Ilya pushes in. He sucks on his bottom lip and ignores the thrum in his stomach as he realises Ilya always kisses him when he first pushes into him- no matter the position, the rush of time- how long or short heās had Shane on his fingers heāll lean into his space, turn his head, pull his mouth to Ilyaās and lick into Shaneās mouth as his cock presses in in in. Shane only really realises it in the absence of it now.
Shane is pulling at his own lip with his teeth when Ilya is al the way inside, and then Ilyaās fingers are pulling his bottom lip free, two fingers pressing into his mouth onto his tongue, down and Shane takes them hungrily and Ilya moves his fingers gently in Shaneās mouth as Shane sucks and drags his tongue around them. And Ilya is all soft under his voice like āthere you goā and Shaneās face is hot and without his face pressed to Ilyaās he can see each of Ilyaās expressions, the frowny concentrated way he stares at where his body is pressed to Shaneās, where his cock drives into him. And it makes Shane feel dizzy, their eye contact becomes too much, Ilyaās eyes on his face become too much and Shane presses his face back into Ilyaās neck, lets Ilyaās fingers slip out of his mouth and feels him grasp his hips with both hands. Shane is rubbing and nuzzling his mouth against Ilyaās neck and throat and collarbones and itās making goosebumps break out across the skin and Ilyaās arms are trembling a little, where he grips Shane and his face it turned into Shaneās hair and heās whispering low and in Russian and Shane wants to kiss him so badly- feel this weird heavy disconnect of not breathing into Ilyaās mouth, sucking on his tongue as he rushes closer to orgasm. He feels lonely and it feels like Vegas and Shane pushes that out of his head because itās not the same- they canāt kiss, he canāt kiss Ilya.
Shane whines unhappily into Ilyaās throat, heās so close but he wants Ilyaās mouth, wants to taste him and this sucks and itās stupid and heās so hard, and he is worried about Ilyaās stitches getting fucked up and Ilyaās hands are bringing Shaneās head up, pressing their foreheads together and noses pressed and the lightest barely there touch of the corner of Ilyaās mouth, unmarred by sutures, to the center of Shaneās mouth, sharing warm air. Not even a kiss. And then Ilyaās muttering ācome on, make me feel good Hollander, fuck me all better, feels so goodā and Shane is whimpering against Ilyaās lips, smudging his own against that little corner of ilyas mouth he can take- up over his cheek when the force of Ilyaās thrusts make him sway and bend forward.
And Ilyas hand is on his cheek, holding his face, thumb rubbing over Shaneās mouth, lips, pushing and pulling against the soft skin of them and Shane comes like that, a rock in his throat because he feels weird- it feels weird, this gap between them of not being able to kiss. And Ilya comes a few thrusts after Shane, shivery and grunting with his forehead pressed to Shaneās shoulder. And Ilyaās stitches are throbbing throbbing throbbing in his face and itās giving him a horrible headache and his whole face still hurts from the impact and heās exhausted and his head is kinda a little fuzzy from the painkillers and he canāt even really properly feel some of his face because of the numbing agent theyād pushed into his skin before they sowed it back together. His stomach hurts a little, churning and he wants to pin Hollander to the bed and kiss him till heās all soft and lax and warm- he can feel him thinking and spinning in his head still even after an orgasm.
He wants to give Shane the hot overwhelming pleasure that makes him all pliant and lovely and blissed under Ilya and he wants to tell watch hollander chase his mouth as he pulls back and he wants to be in control. He feels stunted and unable instead. Then Shane is pulling off Ilya and kissing his way down Ilyaās body, kisses and kisses until heās at his dick, pulling off the condom and kissing and licking there too, cleaning Ilya with his mouth, holding Ilyaās softening dick on his tongue and his eyes are settling, he can see the tension in Hollanders spine relaxing a little and Ilyaās uses his fingers to touch and play with Shaneās mouth as he does it, light in his chest when Shane pushes his fingers away a few times. They arenāt talking about what Shane needs about what heās seeking out because it wasnāt enough- Itās too much and not enough and Ilya is thinking of Vegas, when he didnāt realise till the next day that he hadnāt kissed Hollander the whole time somehow- and howād heād made sure that never happened again. Heās heavy fingered and frustrated and unsure.
They say goodbye at the door and Shane presses his mouth to Ilyaās jaw and they both are a little tense and lingering and Ilya doesnāt know what to say and he knows itāll be two months before theyāre doing this again and his mouth will be healed by then and it doesnāt matter because he wants to lick into Shaneās mouth now. He wants to pull Shane back to bed and lie on top of him till his face stops pulsing. It all feels unfinished. Shane wants to cry when he leaves and heās not sure why. Ilya doesnāt sleep right after and he blames his throbbing face, sure that fucking Shane was not part of the strict rest his team doctor had told him to get but the thought of not having Shane at all was worse and and he really canāt so no can he- even when itās Shane on offer heāll take whatever of him he can have, even it aches.
