Iâve tried to start this fic a few times and I hope one day I can get it right but Iâve been brewwwwwing on a fic set during the hook up we totally have no feelings !!! At all !! We are sooo casual !!! Years where Ilya takes a hit to the mouth- required sutures in his bottom lip/chin. He still messaged Shane about meeting up after so Shane assumes the hit wasnât anything bad- Ilya hadnât come back on after but it had been close to the end of time anyway.
Shane meets Ilya in the hotel room theyâd booked- because they are in Boston- and heâs all what the fuck? Are you ok? When he walks in and Ilya bares his teeth at him at the best smile he can show and just says âkept all my teethâ and wiggles his brows at Shane and Shane is all - look we donât have to (and he doesnât really mean it- heâs been thinking about it for weeks, the match circled in his mind in bright red marker- purely from the release it is, to have Ilya fuck him- thatâs why heâs been counting down to it. And this this really will be one of the last times he tells himself too- a lie he will buy into until the next time and he still needs it this badly) and Ilya shrugs and says âif it puts you off- fine, butâ and waves his hand, shrugs like he doesnât care if Shane does (and he doesnât really mean it either- he cares, he wants Shane here he wants the closeness he wants to fuck him. He has been thinking about being inside Shane since the last time and itâs just because heâs a good fuck and he just need it a few more times and then we can stop this for once and for all)
And so Shane shakes his head and tells Ilya his loss puts him off more and Ilya scoffs, a little surprised sound like at Shaneâs chirp and he rolls his eyes and says âHollander be a good little nurse look after me, make me feel betterâ as he strips himself down, and Shane hates that that works, that somehow Ilya makes it sound sexy- and so Shane does the same, climbs into Ilyaâs lap in his boxers and then their hands are on each other and itâs familiar and hot and good and Shane on instinct goes to lean into Ilyaâs face and he sees the sutures and dried blood and remembers. He tucks his face into Ilyaâs neck and kisses there instead, grinding their bodies together and Ilya opens him up like that, sat in Ilyaâs lap, Shaneâs arms wrapped around Ilyaâs shoulders, his mouth panting into Ilyaâs collarbone as his fingers push into Shane and open open open him.
Theres this ache opening in Shaneâs chest that he canât place, a weird empty mess and he presses his forehead to Ilyaâs cheek as Ilya pulls the condom on himself, closes his eyes and presses his nose into Ilyaâs skin and chews at his own mouth as Ilya pushes in. He sucks on his bottom lip and ignores the thrum in his stomach as he realises Ilya always kisses him when he first pushes into him- no matter the position, the rush of time- how long or short heâs had Shane on his fingers heâll lean into his space, turn his head, pull his mouth to Ilyaâs and lick into Shaneâs mouth as his cock presses in in in. Shane only really realises it in the absence of it now.
Shane is pulling at his own lip with his teeth when Ilya is al the way inside, and then Ilyaâs fingers are pulling his bottom lip free, two fingers pressing into his mouth onto his tongue, down and Shane takes them hungrily and Ilya moves his fingers gently in Shaneâs mouth as Shane sucks and drags his tongue around them. And Ilya is all soft under his voice like âthere you goâ and Shaneâs face is hot and without his face pressed to Ilyaâs he can see each of Ilyaâs expressions, the frowny concentrated way he stares at where his body is pressed to Shaneâs, where his cock drives into him. And it makes Shane feel dizzy, their eye contact becomes too much, Ilyaâs eyes on his face become too much and Shane presses his face back into Ilyaâs neck, lets Ilyaâs fingers slip out of his mouth and feels him grasp his hips with both hands. Shane is rubbing and nuzzling his mouth against Ilyaâs neck and throat and collarbones and itâs making goosebumps break out across the skin and Ilyaâs arms are trembling a little, where he grips Shane and his face it turned into Shaneâs hair and heâs whispering low and in Russian and Shane wants to kiss him so badly- feel this weird heavy disconnect of not breathing into Ilyaâs mouth, sucking on his tongue as he rushes closer to orgasm. He feels lonely and it feels like Vegas and Shane pushes that out of his head because itâs not the same- they canât kiss, he canât kiss Ilya.
Shane whines unhappily into Ilyaâs throat, heâs so close but he wants Ilyaâs mouth, wants to taste him and this sucks and itâs stupid and heâs so hard, and he is worried about Ilyaâs stitches getting fucked up and Ilyaâs hands are bringing Shaneâs head up, pressing their foreheads together and noses pressed and the lightest barely there touch of the corner of Ilyaâs mouth, unmarred by sutures, to the center of Shaneâs mouth, sharing warm air. Not even a kiss. And then Ilyaâs muttering âcome on, make me feel good Hollander, fuck me all better, feels so goodâ and Shane is whimpering against Ilyaâs lips, smudging his own against that little corner of ilyas mouth he can take- up over his cheek when the force of Ilyaâs thrusts make him sway and bend forward.
And Ilyas hand is on his cheek, holding his face, thumb rubbing over Shaneâs mouth, lips, pushing and pulling against the soft skin of them and Shane comes like that, a rock in his throat because he feels weird- it feels weird, this gap between them of not being able to kiss. And Ilya comes a few thrusts after Shane, shivery and grunting with his forehead pressed to Shaneâs shoulder. And Ilyaâs stitches are throbbing throbbing throbbing in his face and itâs giving him a horrible headache and his whole face still hurts from the impact and heâs exhausted and his head is kinda a little fuzzy from the painkillers and he canât even really properly feel some of his face because of the numbing agent theyâd pushed into his skin before they sowed it back together. His stomach hurts a little, churning and he wants to pin Hollander to the bed and kiss him till heâs all soft and lax and warm- he can feel him thinking and spinning in his head still even after an orgasm.
He wants to give Shane the hot overwhelming pleasure that makes him all pliant and lovely and blissed under Ilya and he wants to tell watch hollander chase his mouth as he pulls back and he wants to be in control. He feels stunted and unable instead. Then Shane is pulling off Ilya and kissing his way down Ilyaâs body, kisses and kisses until heâs at his dick, pulling off the condom and kissing and licking there too, cleaning Ilya with his mouth, holding Ilyaâs softening dick on his tongue and his eyes are settling, he can see the tension in Hollanders spine relaxing a little and Ilyaâs uses his fingers to touch and play with Shaneâs mouth as he does it, light in his chest when Shane pushes his fingers away a few times. They arenât talking about what Shane needs about what heâs seeking out because it wasnât enough- Itâs too much and not enough and Ilya is thinking of Vegas, when he didnât realise till the next day that he hadnât kissed Hollander the whole time somehow- and howâd heâd made sure that never happened again. Heâs heavy fingered and frustrated and unsure.
They say goodbye at the door and Shane presses his mouth to Ilyaâs jaw and they both are a little tense and lingering and Ilya doesnât know what to say and he knows itâll be two months before theyâre doing this again and his mouth will be healed by then and it doesnât matter because he wants to lick into Shaneâs mouth now. He wants to pull Shane back to bed and lie on top of him till his face stops pulsing. It all feels unfinished. Shane wants to cry when he leaves and heâs not sure why. Ilya doesnât sleep right after and he blames his throbbing face, sure that fucking Shane was not part of the strict rest his team doctor had told him to get but the thought of not having Shane at all was worse and and he really canât so no can he- even when itâs Shane on offer heâll take whatever of him he can have, even it aches.
