#dispatch angst

► THREAT IDENTIFIED.

► DEFENSIVE PROTOCOL INITIATED

Imagine Robert grinding in the gym because he's insecure about the amount of muscle mass he lost in the coma.

He could feel how much slack his suit had as he stood behind that podium, physically and emotionally exhausted after being in the hospital for months and lugging the Mecha Suit into his apartment piece by piece. He doesn't remember being this sore after moving things around. It's probably just his injuries, right?

He doesn't look in the mirror often, but when he does, all he sees is the scars of battles won and lost long ago and the shadow of what he once was. Pinching and squeezing at his arms and watching his flesh just squish in his grip. His biceps aren't as big as before, his chest used to fill out his shirts a little better, he needs to tighten his belts a little more now. He doesn't feel as solid as he used to.

He used to keep in shape with just his work as Mecha man but he's started using the gym at SDN when he has time. Before and after coming in for the day, trying to pack in protein wherever he could but his frugal habits made it hard for him to have a sound diet.

He didn't like how baggy all of his clothes were now, but if he bought tighter clothes then he would see just how much he'd lost. He keeps his current clothes, determined to fill them out again.

The progress, its slow and it's grueling, and it's hard to be optomistic. He sees everyone around the gym with their bulging muscles, barely working up a sweat on the treadmill, repping 60 lbs dumbbells like it's nothing. God, he doesn't even remember how much he could lift before he fell.

He lifted until it hurt, until his body shook, and every day he came in to the office with a weary body but it's worth it, right? He can't be Mecha Man again if he isn't back on top of his game.

Right?

content warnings: angst -> fluff, sfw overall, established relationship

characters: robert, invisigal, malevola, prism, flambae, sonar, punch up, blonde blazer & royd

the first time robert saw you crying, and the soft sniffling in order to try and hide it from him- god you don't know what you do to him. whatever you feel, he feels too, whether or not he's experienced what you have or not, he gets wanting to hide it from others; but now you have each other, and he wants you to know you can tell him anything, you can punch him, kick him, do anything to him, as long as it makes you feel better. and if you can tell, he can't really explain his own feelings that well, nor is he super great at comforting, he will listen. and listen for hours, for days, he'll stay for as long as you want, just never hide it from him again.

blonde blazer was devastated when she saw tear roll down your cheeks, she would immediately think she had done something wrong and would wanna correct it as soon as possible until you tell her it's not her. she knows what it's like to be at a low place in life, and not know what you want to do with the many years that human life can offer; so understandably, one needs to let it all out in order to feel better. and she lets you, whether that be in her arms, or whilst you eat her cooking, she'll ask you if you want someone to rant to, and if you want the addition of advice. if you say yes? she'll give as much as you need to feel better, but no? then that's fine, sometimes we all just need someone to listen.

invisigal was honestly very appreciative when you felt like you wouldn't mind her being by your side whilst you shed tears. not a lot of people want to stay around her... yet here you were, something so precious, so fragile, so strong, you were everything she could ask for in a person, and you wouldn't mind being vulnerable around her? it felt like the prayers she sent a long, long time ago only received an answer now. she can't give too much advice, but i promise she's a great listener, makes sure to ask you questions, and help you find any root of the problem that may have caused it so you'll know what to avoid next. would let you roam your fingers through her hair, or cling to her shoulder, as long as you would feel better... she wouldn't mind washing the tear stained jackets.

sonar felt similar, he honestly would've loved if someone were to just listen to him rant too. he never really had anyone before, so he was more than happy to be that person for you. even if you stain his suit, his advice is top tier, believe it or not, his talks with you in this state are only real talk, and words that both comfort and are very logical. he's a perfect mix of being both insanely reasonable and an emotionally intelligent person to be around; but the only limit of this amazing ability... was that he only really uses it around you. he only wants it to be used when he's with you. he makes you food, he holds you close, and places the most soothing kisses all over your back and collarbone, he just hates to see you cry. you're the love of his life, who would wanna see their partner crying from something that isn't from pleasure (yes he will joke dirtily but it happens like once or twice only).

royd gives his own advice too, he can't handle to see you cry, but he knows above all, to tell you to never bottle your emotions up after that again. he's an amazing listener, he loves to listen to you, whether that be through sniffles or while you're trying to eat your food, as long as you don't choke, and you're comfortable with telling him... he'll be happy. he's your boyfriend after all, so whatever happens, he'll still be deeply in love with you as per usual, and nothing will ever change that. even when you end up crying in his arms, in his hold, those tears will dry, and those days that your problems no longer feel like a heavy weight on your shoulders are hopefully the days he's there.

malevola doesn't speak that much in the first place, but when it's her significant other? she makes sure you're heard. she makes sure you explore your feelings well, again, she knows what it's like not to have anybody to be there for yourself, so she'd make sure that's not something you go through, whether that be a first-time thing, or something you're used to. everyone deserves somebody to listen, to believe, and to trust, and malevola would be more than honored if that person would be her. just... know you can tell her anything.

prism is a very gentle lover actually, if you're her partner, i assure you that when you cry, you are in very great hands. arms wrapping around your shoulders from behind to bring you closer; telling you it'll be fine and just to let it out. she'll wait for you to not sniffle so much to ask you what's wrong, figure out the root of the problem so you don't panic internally as much. you are hers, and she is yours, this is what partners do for each other, and this is the least she can do whilst you deal with her random bullshit outside the closed doors you two have around your relationship. lets you open up, talk about everything, and asks you questions to explore how you feel about it, and again- know what to avoid next. this lady loves you so much, she wants to solve whatever happened as soon as you can.

flambae doesn't really know what to do when he does see your tears. at first, he'll think you're laughing until he approaches, and the most he really will do for you is to hug you and listen. he isn't the best for advice, but always lets you know that he's there to be an ear, if you want to talk about it, he wants to be the first person you end up thinking about. he wants to be the first person that comes to mind when you ask yourself "who can i tell about this without being judged". he in fact thinks he always shoulder appear first because he's never thought you were any different than that of the person he's spent so much time loving; just tell him, and he'll be right there.

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maybe you were too clingy, but that’s just how you show affection. sure at work you’d want to hold his hand, and maybe you caught him off guard or at a bad time but robert didn’t mean to raise his voice at you. like every action, there’s always a result.

did he feel horrible? absolutely. didn’t make it any better that when he got home, you were keeping your distance. he saw the pain in your body language, in everything you did. he saw how you would pet beef, usually you’d cuddle with him but you settled with gentle pats instead. he knew he messed up, but he wanted to give you your space for the night. even if it pained the both of you, forgiveness needs to be earned.

three of the worst days of his life. he had to watch you be slightly touchy with his coworkers. he’ll never ever forget how you had your hand on top of courtney’s, the way you two were talking while fidgeting. she didn’t mind of course, this was just friend touches, but god did robert yearn for that again. he feels horrible for getting upset because you wanted to feel him, to comfort him. he needed to fix this as soon as you two got home.

robert somehow managed to get cut earlier then you, not like it mattered since you’ve been arriving home later. the last thing he saw before leaving the office was how you watched him leave, then avoided eye contact. he blinked slowly before he left SDN, heading home to prepare the plan. step one: buy your favorite flowers, this normally works in the movies right? so he knew that this’ll help him. step two: plan out the apology. he had to practice in front of beef to prefect the way he would say it to your face. step three: possibly prepare himself because he was going to cry if you ignored his first two attempts. the avoidance has gone on long enough, he needed you back.

the minute you walked into the door, robert hugged you. hesitant, you tried to squirm out of his grasp, despite wanting to hug him back. you weren’t going to forgive him so easily, everyone needs to work to be forgiven. even if it’s robert you weren’t going to fold. he looked hurt, and he could see it was also hurting you, having to stand your ground. robert showed you the flowers he’s gotten, and he saw the way your face softened before taking the flowers. his first step is working, now he needed to move on to step two. he cleared his throat; “baby listen, i know you’ve super pissed off at me. i would be too with the way i’ve treated you, and i know that i’m a fucking asshole. you were trying to be there for me, and i pushed you away like you don’t matter. i love how you want to reach out and be close to me. trust me, i love it more then anything. i’m so, so sorry for raising my voice at you.” he looked at you with puppy dog eyes. his entire body was ready to get on his knees and beg for you.

he saw how you looked at him before your nose crinkled, turning away. his eyes darted back and forth before he saw you set down the flowers. he watched as you came back and took his face into your hands, before gently kissing his lips. god did he miss this, he didn’t hesitate robert immediately reached out to your hips, pulling you in. he continued to kiss you gently, wanting to savor the moment and the sweet taste of you.

nothing would’ve prepare robert for the way you were eating him up, the hickeys and bruises left on his neck were sickening. the once tan skin was now a dark purple blue berry color, the way your lips were swollen with how much you sucked and kissed his skin. robert held you close to his bare chest, sighing like he was in heaven. he saw the way you gently kissed his scarred body, before completely assaulting his neck and jawline. he loved the way you hungrily kissed his lips, yearning for more. he sat and let you eat him alive, and he won’t ever complain again about his partner being too clingy or needy.

━─━────༺༻────━─━

…

“make me look like a fucking bruised banana.”

Flambae: So could you.

Robert: That’s different.

Flambae: How?

Robert: …Because I can survive losing myself.