Raindrops full of Laughter - drabble for the next chapter
Just something I'm working on. Let me know what you think, please?
_________________
You listen to him while he keeps on rambling. The end of his tale left your nerves feeling raw and painful. His voice went from high pitched to low and sinister within a single breath and it was clear that he was deeply distressed. It was possible that he didn't want to talk and yet forced himself to choke the words out.
But there was something else that caused your stomach to turn. His tale was - essentially - just that: a tale. But of course, as with any other tale, if you kept on stripping away the fantastic parts and the magic and the metaphors... If you kept peeling off every layer of the narrative, then all that was left was a core that formed the corpus of a story about Unknowns presumably tragic past.
Yes - you knew that trying to interpret his talk was like stretching an already thin line - or like leaping into unknown water. And yes - you knew that harbouring any kind of pity for a person like him could bring you more trouble than you signed yourself up for -but if you took aside everything you knew about this person at the other side of the line, and allowed yourself to see this phone call for what it really was - a deep display of trust - it flooded the gates of your internal hell.
"You -why are you crying? Was this not entertaining for you?"
Your muffled cries are audible via the call connection, even if you hadn't realised that you were crying in the first place. And if things were different, you would have been celebrating now. After what had happened to Kai, you would have never let anyone notice you crying. You would have never cried in front of someone.
Well, for whatever it was worth, technically, you weren't crying in front of someone right now - as Unknown was god knows where. But it still felt like he was there in the same room as you. It was difficult to describe, but you felt him sitting right behind you, having his hand clenched around your heart and tightening the grip around your chest. This feeling was like a parasite. Slowly chewing off the thickness skin of your inner walls. It was a feeling that left you unable to think straight.. There was noone behind you, of course, but the mental closeness -that surpassed every physical closeness you ever had with anyone up until now - made you uneasy.
Unknown didn't say anything, and for a while you are left alone with your tears. Then you heard his low chuckles.
He was amused over your vain efforts to put yourself into his shoes. To him, it must seem like you were trying to push water uphil with nothing but a rake.
"Did you believe this story? Hahaha.. I didn't think you'd be so naïve.." his chuckles became a spiteful laughter.
"You love me this much, don't you? Seriously, to cry for me this easily. What am I supposed to do when you die of a broken heart because of your feelings for me? Hahaha.. I'm only joking again, my little princess. Once I'll come and free you, I will make you love me even more. That's a promise."
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
“H-hello..?” You’ve heard yourself say – the uncertainty transpiring through your voice.
Still nothing. Then you heard an awkward rustling noise and something that sounded like someone shutting a door.
“I-is this...uhm…Are you Unknown?” you tried again and pushed your long hair behind your ear.
“Wait for a second….” You heard him breathing before he spoke again. “Alright. We can talk now.”
His voice was low and deep, barely more than a whisper.
“Are you there, yet?” Although his question was phrased rather neutral, you caught a glimpse of anxiety in his words. He must have been nervous as to whether you followed his instructions. Was he scared of something?
“Huh? Ah-uhm no. I’m still on my way there. It will probably take me another 10 minutes to arrive… Should I call you back, then?” You resumed walking towards your destination and hoped he’d let you call him back. It would buy you some time to regain some of your composure.
He let out a sigh. “You do know that you can’t call back an unknown call ID, right?” With that, he painfully put you back into place.
You mentally face-palmed yourself as you moved “R-right… sorry.”
“Yes, you should be. Yes… this is how it should be…” He seemed to mumble to himself. “It shouldn’t take you so long, to get to the park now, should it? Start walking a bit faster. You can do that for me, right?” Why was it that he needed to convince himself of the hierarchy between you two?
You were already walking quite fast but still doubled your pace at his words. Heavy pants soon started to slip through your lips as you held the phone close to your ear. You didn’t hear him speak for another solid two minutes.
“Tell me what you see right now.” You could feel that he was getting more and more anxious. Just what was waiting for you at that park?
“Okay… There is a coffee shop at the corner, and I can see the Cherry-Tower from here. I think the park is right down this street. It shouldn’t be long, anymore.”
He chuckled. “You’re so obedient. Usually, people wouldn’t run outside in the middle of the night, just because someone texted them. Maybe they aren’t stupid enough to be lured into the darkness of night...” His words were harsh, even if his tone was teasing.
He was trying to provoke you, but you’ve been called worse than stupid. “Yes, you’re right.” The words slipped a little too easily over your tongue. They found their way through your lips without any effort, as they have numerous times before.
“Am I, hm? So you would run outside like a stupid bitch whenever someone told you so?” His former teasing tone was gone, now. What was left, instead, was aggression. It confused you for a moment. You didn’t know where you went wrong.
Until you did. Ah – so that was what he had really been asking you.
It was funny, how he was so desperate for your reassurance …
“You’re not somebody. I wouldn’t do this for just anybody. I did it because it was you who asked.” You said it without stuttering, you said it without blinking. You said it because you were trained to say it when you had to – and it always had the same effect: It kept you alive.
“Of course, I knew you’d see that, too. Most people wouldn’t be able to understand your way of reasoning. But I, I understand them. Because deep down, we’re the same. We are both bad and ill at heart…. Ah – I can hear a Christmas jingle playing in the background. You better not cry. Santa Claus doesn’t give crying children gifts. Santa Claus knows who is a good child or a bad child ~ beautiful, isn’t it? It reminds me of how much I hate Christmas.”
You stopped for a second. His voice was hitching. The way it did when he was aggravated.
“I used to be a bad child and never got any Christmas presents. Don’t you think it’s unfair that bad children don’t get anything from Santa? They are just stupid children, Santa should give everyone presents. Don’t you think?”
He laughed, but there was no joy in his voice.
“So I decided to give presents to only the bad children. The worse, the better. Don’t you think that’s only just?” you hear him tapping his fingers against a surface. A nervous habit, perhaps?
You kept silent. Trying to soak in every information you could get about him. Anything was fine.
“And what better gift could there be than salvation…? Haha… I wonder though If I’m the only one giving gifts… Whom would I receive something from, then? ... Santa, do you really think he knows who is bad and who isn’t?” He suddenly sounded like a wounded, small child, on the verge of crying. Why was it so important to him what you were thinking?
“I… maybe.” Your voice became small. You didn’t really think that Santa was existing and the thought of someone constantly watching you and keeping track of your actions was rather scary to you.
He groaned irritated. “Then why doesn’t he give me anything? Who does he think he is, to not give me a present? I’ve been so good; I’ve been doing so much good, helped so many people. Don’t you think I deserve something from Santa?” He was asking for your opinion, again. Specifically, he asked for your opinion about him, again.
You thought back to the conversation you had with your sister.
“He’s more a mash-up of too many songs that are not quite in tune with each other. But I feel like... Like the melody that connects those pieces is a beautiful and pure one…”
“….I do.” You eventually answered.
“Yes…Of course, you think so, too. You mustn’t have gotten much from Santa, either, am I right? But don’t worry, I will be your Santa Claus this Christmas, so make sure to tell me your wishes. If you’re naughty, I may fulfil them all.” He laughed, again. A bit more relieved, than before.
Your wishes…. There was only one thing you wished for…Answers. “I-I want more information. Why you made me join the RFA. Who you are and if you…. If you’re dangerous…?” Was this too much to ask for?
Apparently so, yes.
He growled like angry thunder. “This isn’t fun at all.”
Your natural reflexes kicked in. Upon hearing his threatening voice, you went stiff as a stick within a second. Your hands jerked to the sides of your body, as to force yourself to not cover your middle.
“P-Please don’t shout. I’ll be good. I’ll be good.” The voice of your younger self -whined into the speaker.
He was quiet for a few seconds. Calming himself down.
“What face are you making right now? I want to see….So bad. I… want to know.”
You weren’t yet ready to talk again. He had only needed seconds to calm down. But for you, this was difficult.
Come on, just count to ten. Just count… One...
“I ASKED YOU SOMETHING!” His loud and cracking voice cut right through your routine and your switch right back to being a child again.
“I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad. I’ll make it up to you; It was my fault.” You hated yourself for reacting like this. You hated yourself for being arrogant enough to think you’d be getting better with every day.
He seemed to be both pleased, and sorry. However, he was hiding the latter behind his words.
“I forgive you because I’m a good person, someone that can lead you towards salvation – I shouldn’t have said that. You will learn about this on your own when you get here.”
There he goes again with this salvation thing. When you received his first messages, he talked about his religion. Was this salvation a part of this?
So he was still planning on extracting you from the RFA again, as soon as he accomplished whatever he had planned to.
“… And when will that be?” You tried to sound anticipating –making him talk.
“Soon, I hope.” He only vaguely responded. You knew you were hitting a wall but were not yet ready to stop here.
“Why me?” You tried, instead.
He chuckled. “Because I found you.”
You sigh. He was right. He did find you. He wanted you to join the RFA so desperately but was also eager to get you out of there. Why? What did he know, that you didn’t? Did he really hate all of them?
You thought back to the last months with them. Without knowing exactly when, you had started to consider them your family. When you came to Korea, you felt like you couldn’t do anything on your own. But they helped you to improve yourself every day. You felt like they were good people. People that you could stay with, even if you still had to hide your fucked up side. But for them, you were willing to do that.
“…What about the rest of the RFA?”
He didn’t hesitate when he answered as if this had been clear from the very start. “That depends. They can join us, too, or they can burn together with the redhead.”
Your hunch about Seven proved itself somewhat right. So he was involved in all of this. “The Redhead…? Do you know him?”
He laughed, but it sounded like slapping two pieces of metal together. “I don’t. I just know the him that he once was. Although he would never tell you this because he is a liar. Unlike me. I would never lie to you.” He sounded frustrated again, but this time, not because of you.
If this was true. If you really were to believe him…Then… “Then… will you hurt me, or my sister?” You tried to keep your voice as soft as possible.
“No. I will save you.” And without a doubt, you believed that this was legitimately what he thought. He would never hurt you intentionally. But you also knew that things like intention were never that easy. He could –and probably would tell himself that it was necessary. That he did for his kind of salvation. And as much as you wished that you had learnt from your past, you still….Wanted to believe him.
“Arghh…This stupid Christmas carol is giving me headaches. How long are you going to make me listen to it?!” He slammed his fist against something. You suddenly felt his fear. Was he afraid….of Christmas?
You started running.
“I’m sorry, I can… I can…. I can see the entrance of the park!”
The park was, due to the unfavourable time, deserted.
“Good. Very good. Once you’re inside, walk towards the season pavilion. There is a wide field around it. Tell me when you’re there.”
You walked it quietness, the sound of the pebbles underneath the shoes the only thing that was cutting through the silence between you two. The Pavilion looked like it had already seen better days, but the surroundings were well maintained. The snows had been brushed off every surface so that visiting people could sit down if they wanted to. All the walkways had been cleared of snow, as well.
You were the first one to speak again. “I’m there. What should I do, now?”
“Haha, you’re already awaiting my orders? How cute. Say, what do you think will happen, now?” He said it with some kind of morbid fascination which caused you to turn around in paranoia.
“Are you nervous? Anxious? Scared? What are you thinking right now? Are you turning around, helplessly wondering whether I’m waiting for you in a corner?” He chuckled. It was a dark, and grim sound.
You heard something rustling from behind. Steps –heavy sounds coming from thick boots that were lazily walking through the park.
“Do you think, that I’ll come and get you right now?” He breathed into the phone like a pervert.
This was suddenly going in the wrong direction. Definitely wrong.
The sickening feeling in your stomach solidified with every exaggerated sound coming from behind. You not only felt like you were being watched, but you also definitely heard someone behind you.
“Turn around, little princess. And take a good look.” He whispered into your ear.
You couldn’t.
You couldn’t lift your feet off the ground, you couldn’t even move your head to look over your shoulders. Whatever had been trying to approach you, now stopped moving. Possibly waiting for you. No. He was waiting for you. He didn’t need a dark alleyway to mug you, nobody was here inside this park. Nobody would hear you scream.
“I’m sorry.” You felt a sting inside your eyes and your knees becoming rubber. “I don’t think I can do that.” You wanted to cry, but the more scared you felt, the more your inner walls kept trying to hold your feelings in.
It hit you all at once.
You were nothing but a severely underpowered heroine in her own story, not knowing what she pitted herself against. It made you feel vulnerable and exposed. As if you were back to continually running and hiding. Like the scared little girl that you were, hiding from your father.
You forgot to breathe.
His chuckles died right on the spot.
“Is this how you show your gratitude?”
Your head felt light.
You inhale sharply and try to wash away the feelings inside with the cold fresh air in your lungs. To no avail. You felt small –wanted to cower behind cover and hide. Something –anything.
“Look.Behind.You.”
You wanted to throw up. You tried to run, even if there was nothing waiting for you. The thick walls of your castle were dangerously creaking under the heavy pressure of your emotions.
Get a grip and calm down.
You counted to ten. Twice.
Once you felt the earth underneath your feet again, you were able to respond.
“Ok.”
One breath, two breaths. You turned around and stared right into the grim looking face of the night. An ugly gasp was escaping your mouth.
You heard him then –on the phone. Laughing. Cackling. Having the time of his life while you felt sick and dead inside.
“Did you…! Did you…! Did you think I’d be standing there?!” He had to pause after every word to catch his breath again. “You’re standing in the middle of a god damned park in the middle of the night, thinking I’d be there? Moving my ass through that horrible cold weather just to see you?”
You felt numb.
“This is… This is gold!” He was almost hyperventilating from his own laughter.
But you felt nothing, anymore. Stripped yourself off any emotion. Made yourself to be a shell for that other you to slip into.
“Thank you. I knew that talking to you would make me feel better. You’ve now officially repaid your debt regarding my effort last night. Now, do me a favour and look for a flowering bush to your left. There should be at least one.” This… was not the person you wanted to help. Whatever had gotten into him, this was not the guy you would continue to lie for.
….then why did you still go and look for those flowers?
“I can see them.” You said in an overly monotone voice.
“Do you like flowers?” He didn’t seem to be aware of your sudden mood swing and even sounded exited.
“Yes.” You pressed through your teeth.
“Do you know the name of the flowering bush? In front of you?” He asked.
“No.” And you didn’t care, either.
“It’s honeysuckle. A sort of Woodbine.” He kept on babbling.
“Ok.” Silence.
“Ok, she says. Do you know their meaning?” He was getting upset with you.
“Alas, no.” You took a closer look at the little flowers that were blooming in the depth of winter. They were kind of beautiful. And sturdy. Everything you wished to be.
“It’s ok. It means generosity. As you have paid off your debt without fussing, I want to give you something back. For free. Am I not a kind person?”
Again, he had to make sure that you didn’t think ill of him.
“Yes.”
“You’re not very talkative right now… I guess I got you good back then. Well then, you entertained me – so I entertain you. All fair and square, right?” He was finally becoming concerned. Or aware that he may have gone overboard. Was this his way of making up to you?
“Ok.”
He huffed into the phone. Clearly at loss of how to stir the situation back into his desired direction. “Ok, my ass. Stop acting this way… I’ll make it up to you, just wait… hmm, I’ll tell you a fairy tale, alright? Girls like this stuff, right?”
Listen, I know that you would die for me without blinking once. But that’s the thing, you’d actually die for literally everyone. So if you’re asking me what you can do to prove your love to me, try living for me without blinking, instead.
