#uneasyness

As the post title suggests, it's preparation-time! 

The exact date now has been fixed, it's the 3rd of September. An eery, uneasy feeling has been grasping my soul for a couple of days now. Things to do before the journey... considering my neuralgia towards everything, I'm trying to cope with the tasks ahead...

so it's been a bit since i've updated. i went to Pennsylvania for a few days with dustin which was pretty awesome. we went to kennywood theme park which is the theme park used in the movie adventureland! pretty badass. we also had a huge prop party (a hhhuge party in an empty field with lots of booze, a bonfire and the myriad of stars that you would expect out of a true summers night). it was captivating. it was enjoyable.

i've also been reading Gary Shteyngart's 'Super Sad True Love Story' as of lately and i'm really enjoying it. though, as the title suggests and forewarns, it is REALLY fucking morose and makes me fucking sick. i would highly recommend it- though the whole sweet-and-intelligent-middle-aged-and-totally-self deprecating-white-guy falling in love with materialistic-but-supposedly-deep-and-troubled-super-skinny-shallow-young-korean-girl thing gets PREEEEETTTY fucking annoying for the reader. but yo, that's majority of the book tho. i'm pretty sure i want her to die though.

coming back to los angeles didn't feel as good as i thought it would. since i have been back, i am graced with primordial memories every time i close my eyes. it's kind of freaking me out. i find myself flashing back to my earliest of memories- snow in Chicago, sitting in a high-chair wishing for nothing to escape while 'Honey, I Blew Up The Kid' was on the television, following my mother around almost pet-like... i suppose because my new life is soon about to start. i cannot suppress these feelings of apprehension and anxiety. i am shitting bricks. i have this abominable knot in my stomach that doesn't seem to recede.