Too Deep pt 2
A quick little part two, I rediscovered Mitski and it inspired me to write this part,
If you haven't read part one you can here
Trigger Warnings: Heavy trauma talk, talking about abuse, DV, OOC characters, gender-neutral reader (or as gender neutral I could get)
Thank you again @the-did-i-ask for posting the origional promt it's been intresting writing angst again and allowing myself to truly dive into the minds of these charecters we all love so dearly <3
Did not proofread the whole thing, and I recommend listening to Mitski to be in the same headspace I was in when writing only if your menatlly able too
Enjoy <3
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You blink at him, a frown on your lips as your arms go numb, part of you hopes he was joking, messing with you in the worst way possible—what’s worse is he did it in front of everybody: Gale, Karlac, Wyll, Lae’zel, Shadowheart, everyone
“U-umm…” you blink the tears away, looking down a moment before looking back up at him “I'm sorry, c-can you repeat that?” you ask kindly, trying to hide any hurt in your face, your eyes however showed everything— the tears pooled at the bottoms of your eyes and he could have sworn he saw a little version of you in your eyes screaming at him crying
Astarion looked at you, then at everyone else around, before staring at his feet. He already said it, but why did it hurt to repeat himself? Maybe because you're hiding your own feelings?
“Whatever you think we have between us doesn't exist. You're nothing more than a shield for me, all the favors I’ve given you? Payment,” he said, blatantly pushing his own feelings down now, but nothing could have prepared him for the look you gave him.
Standing in the middle of camp, your face went blank, your eyes widened as your arms lifted to cross your body almost on their own, hiding yourself despite being in full armor “Okay,” it came soft, almost unheard, but he heard it “then I’m not giving you any more blood, that was a gift to what I thought was my friend…” your voice shook a small tremble that you couldnt control
You two stood there for a moment, just staring at each other, before autopilot took you over, and you simply turned around and walked. You couldn't say where you were going, but it felt familiar when you got to the lake and started taking the straps off.
Astarion stood there, his eyes watching as you walked away. He couldn't take his eyes off you, even when you left his view down the hill; his eyes stayed on the entrance of the camp.
Gale kept his opinions to himself, stirring the pot in front of him for tonight's meal.
Karlac gave a glare and walked past Astarion, “arsehole,” she mumbled, and walked her mechanical heart pumping, heat building in her body as she stopped at the entrance and looked at him. “Who do you think you are?” she asked loudly, being the opposite of Gale in this moment, her accent getting thicker as she got worked up
Astarion stared at her, “i… I told them the truth,” he said, trying to save face, pointing his nose to the sky as usual, but it felt wrong “That’s all Tav was, a shield, a protector, having sex was… a investment into ensuring my safty against Cazador and the Gur hunters” he caught the glare all the woman gave him “oh dont look at me like that, it was mutually beneficial as Tav also got something in return”
“Yah, while you got two things: Protection and a hearty meal,” Shadowheart said, her arms crossed over her camp outfit as she was cleaning her armor only a few moments ago
Astarion snapped his head over to Shadowheart, blinking if his skin could, they would be bright pink in embarrassment, but his eyes betrayed him, showing double the embarrassment, making Shadowheart hum a thought, so she went back to cleaning her armor.
You sat on your knees in the river; it reached up to your collarbones, the cold water rushing around you, washing away all the literal dirt and grime of the day. Karlach walked down the hill at a jog, hearing the soft murmurs of you singing the ending of a song
“I bet on losing dogs
I always want you when I'm finally fine
How you'd be over me
Looking in my eyes when I cum”
She sat by the edge of the water watching you with sorry eyes. “Hey, soldier,” she called once you finished, looking back at her, your eyes were puffy and red from crying your eyes out “I know there’s nothin I can say to make you feel better, or sway what Star said, but please don’t do anything drastic. I can come get cha but… uh me and water aint friends” she attempted to make a joke at the end, you smiled softly “I wont, Im pretty sure Gale would just bring me back”
She laughed softly, “Yeah, and make ya eat some weird potion he made from the Underdark.”
Karlach smiled and watched as you stood up gently, averting your eyes but keeping you in her line of sight so she could act quickly if you got swept away or something. “Do you wanna talk about it?” You shook your head no. “I’ll just start balling.”
“Understandable. Are those scars related?” Her arm rested across her knee, her eyes drifting back to you, then away. “No, these aren't related to Star, these… well, I would say battle scars, but they're different.”
“Battle scars are battle scars. Soldier: Doesn't matter what type, in my opinion.”
You smiled softly and walked to the riverbank next to her, where your clothes and a towel sat. “You're right, you're gonna have to look if I'm gonna explain,” She turned her head to you, unlike Astarion, apparently she could handle a naked person in front of her without thinking with her dick… figuratively.
You pointed to the diganol slash across your stomach. “My… ex-husband thought I was getting too fat and gently took a dinner knife and cut my stomach. It was the ‘proper’ way of measuring my stomach, no guesswork, no need to ask doctors or nurses, no need to trust my word.” she looked at it surprised, having no idea you were married before– you pointed to another larger scar going down your left leg “he got drunk one night and was crying, saying ‘My honorable (wife/husband) will leave me, Ive been horrible to you’ and when I simple went to get him water he threw the bottle of ale at me and grabbed my leg making me fall and cutting it in the process”
Karlach blinked at your words, taking a deep breath in listening, “your… husband… the man you loved?” You shook your head no. “The man I was sold to, I was so pretty, so precious, and so fragile, he gave me the title of (wife/husband).” you turned around and began to get dressed showing off your back to her and the deep scar on your lower back “The ones on my chest were BDSM I told Star about those, candle wax burns if not careful, and he was not a careful man”
Karlach hummed softly as you got dressed, “and your back?”
“Mostly battle scars from out here, actual battle scars, the one on my lower back is a branding. I ran away before he could recarve his name in the middle.” You fastened the cords on your pants, making them tight around your hips, looking close, Karlach saw a very faint carving as you said, she didn't recognize the man. “What kind of man was he? Race, I mean.”
“Tiefling, but it doesn't matter, he’d be the same even if he were a human, drow, elf, or gnome. He’s a horrid soul, and if I had the resolve, I would return just for his head,” you said your shirt bitterly on. Your hands faltered with the cords of your shirt as the dirt caught your attention. Looking up expecting to see Star you saw nothing, disappointment fell onto your face
Karlach stood up and smiled her flames cooled down and she wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “You love him, Star, I mean,” you nodded slowly, “since the moment we met,” you said just as softly
To Be Continued
