#typesoflove

The past few days Ive been spending time talking with a friend who just recently lost someone very dear to him. It’s so easy to say, I’ve been there, because I have. I know what it’s like to lose people you love. More importantly, I know what it’s like to lose myself. Theoretically that is. Lord knows I’ve been lost more than I’d like to count. Why do you think we do that?

Love. 

Love, you’re saying to yourself. That’s her answer. Yes, love is my answer. Do you love yourself? Do you think you’re truly capable of loving others the right way. Yes, there is a right way to love someone. There’s all kinds of love. Bet you didn’t know that.

Let’s look at the different types of love.

1. Mania - this one is easy. Mania isn’t necessarily a good type of love. It’s obsessive. This can lead to anger, jealously and sometimes madness. Just don’t go there.

2. Ludus - this is known as ‘playful love.’ A better way to describe it is the feeling of infatuation in the early days of a romance. If you’ve ever been in love before, you know what I’m talking about.

3. Pragma - the ancient Greeks define pragma as a ‘enduring love;’ Pragma love is the type of love that has maturity and took a long time to develop between two people.

4. Storge - this can simply be defined at ‘familiar love.’ It’s a strange term, I know. This type of love looks and feels a lot like another type of love I’ll get to in a moment. However, this type of love is the type of parent-child love. This is just a strong bond between two people.

5. Philautia - this is self-love. In this day and age, most people would consider this to be narcissistic, stuck on yourself, selfish. This is not what the Greeks meant, but it is necessary to be able to love yourself before you can love others. Self-love is not negative or unhealthy. It is necessary to be able to give and receive love. We cannot give love when we don’t feel it. If we don’t truly love ourselves, how can we truly love others?

6.Philia - The Greeks defined this type of love as “affectionate love.” This is the kind of love you feel for you friends. Oddly enough, the Greeks thought that this kind of love was better than Eros (sexual love), because it represented love between people who consider themselves equal.

Plato always argued that physical attraction wasn’t necessary for love and I 100% agree with that. That’s why there are different types of love.

7. Eros - this is romantic love. This type of love is named after the Greek God of love and fertility. It is usually associated with romantic, passionate and physical love. It’s an expression of sexual passion and desire.

The Greeks were actually very fearful of this type of love. They thought this love was so powerful and it would result in a loss of control. Some people today believe this is the type of love that ‘burns hot and bright, but it burns out fast.’ That’s why its considered dangerous, imo.

8. Agape - This is my favorite type of love. This is an altruistic, selfless, unconditional love. The Greeks believed this type rarely happened because so few people are capable of feeling it long term. 

Some of us consider this a spiritual love. I believe Jesus exhibited this kind of love for ALL HUMANS! Jesus was selfless and sacrificed Himself so that others could be rid of their sin.

Now that I’ve given you these definitions, I will tell you it took me a while to love myself. I do love myself and I’m capable of loving others. I love my kids. I love my parents. I love my friends. I don’t have anyone to have a romantic love with at the moment, but that’s okay. It’s just not my time. And who knows, maybe I already know this person. Only God knows who He has in mind for me. I’ll just be patiently waiting right here being my fabulous self! *wink, wink* Do I have agape love? If you want my opinion, yes, I feel like I have agape love to share with others. It depends on how much I trust you, to be honest.

Going back to my friend, we’ve been friends for almost five years now. We met through mutual friends. I’ll admit when I’m struggling. Even though I have my own struggles, I reached out to him, because God told me to. One of the things I told him the last time we talked was that it’s okay to struggle with things, even with grief. I told him I loved him, because I do. That’s that Philia love right there! *wink, wink* I think it’s important for us to hold one another up through hard times. Grief, depression, anxiety, whatever it may be. We are all broken people, we can be broken together. It’s the FAITH AND LOVE, that will get us through.

types of love ; part one .           ( inspired by ) 

[when it comes]

for how can we not?

when we’ve been forcefully fed with a spoon everything about it

since before the beginning of time

even before the first time we have ever opened our eyes

all the songs, the poems, the movies

the familiar sayings

how is it not possible to feel like you’ve been in love

when all you ever hear of is love?

- friday, april 5, 2019