Panel redraw I did a good while ago (mostly bc I wanted to redo Ghirahim's hairstyle) featuring Mr. Sword Lord himself and my OC: Nathaniel, from my Skyward Sword self-fic. Definitely an average attempt at a father-son bonding moment between them lol
Original panel from the webcomic: Panda Pearl by Pandrena & ServantParent
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I hope you get inspiration for your fic with Native Natsu again. Native Natsu is too perfect. But I'm Shawnee/Cherokee, so I might be biased. Fist bump for my fellow college conservative. Feels like Christians in ancient Rome some days.
Thank you very much! I’m actually taking a very interesting American Indian History class right now, so it’s gotten me thinking more about The Way We Smile and what I can add. He is fun to write. :) Awesome! I’m Lakota! *gratefully fist bumps back* WOW I found one!!! Lol yeah, it’s like a witch hunt. Or 1984 AU, trying to make sure the thought police don’t find me out. Can’t wait to graduate.
Ladiiiiiiiies and gentlemeeeeeeeeeeen! Welcome to the ultimate showdown: THE BEST OF D&D!
This post contains the best of the best of the D&D/RPG posts over the years of TWWS, all the way from the beginning. At the end of the post, there will be a link to a survey where you can vote for your favourites in each category (other/3.5e, 4e, and 5e) and nominate MVPs for each category. If the person you want to vote MVP has only been referenced as “Player,” just note down what quote they’re responsible for. A week from today (or until enough of you fill out the survey), Round 2 of the competition begins.
Everybody roll for initiative!
Overheard During Other RPGs
During Hackmaster, about a bottle label:
SB: “It says ‘Thou shalt not question the DM over inane shit!’”
Overheard During D&D 3.5e
Unarmed damage?:
MM: “It’s the difference between a slap and a bitch-slap.”
So wrong it's right:
MM (IC): “I like your spunk.”
KH (OOC): “So does [gay player].”
Rogue equipment:
KB (IC): “I need [boots] that are…soft-sounding.”
MM (IC): “We have socks.”
Describing a character:
SO: “She is built like a brick shithouse.”
DM: “She shits brick houses.”
Bubbles: “She makes brick houses shit bricks.”
When the party has two rogues:
KH (IC): “I can find it!”
KB (IC): “I can find it better.”
RD (IC): “[Wizard], if you do not stop right now, I will arrest you for terminal stupidity, and I can assure you, I will find a law against it!”
A discount on services rendered:
SO: “What’s 75% off of ‘I run and do whatever you ask without question’?”
Calling for divine help in very specific situations:
MM: “Please state your current medical emergency.”
KB: “Head-splosion.”
SO: “If you have been stabbed, press one. If you are currently being stabbed, press two.”
MM: “If your head’s detonated and you’ve launched into a wall, press three.”
RD: “Why did you press three? We never expected anyone to press three!”
SO: “We don’t know what to do in this medical emergency! Please dial again!”
IO: “[Wizard] is going to say - ”
KB: “Can I tell you why this is a bad idea?”
IO: “No.”
Proper procedure when everything goes to hell:
RD: “[Cleric] goes outside and makes a magic circle, sits in it, and cries.”
KH (IC): “That stupid fucking son of a flea-ridden bitch cunt wizard - ”
MM (IC): “Oh, him.”
How to pray to the god Ao:
KB, KH, and MM: “I throw my hands up in the air sometimes sayin’ heeeeey-oh! I worship Aaaaaaa-o!”
Bubbles: “[The wizard’s] gaaaaaaaay-o!"
Overheard During D&D 4e
SIDE NOTE: A Quiplash commentary on D&D 4e:
A more environment-friendly alternative to toilet paper
- 4th ed character sheets
What we think we saw - again?:
Player: “If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and weighs the same as a duck, it must be a witch.”
KH: “It’s a witch.”
RJ: “Build a bridge out of 'er!”
Healing needed:
Player: “I have a mess kit, will that help?”
WS: “Only if you want to make a mess.”
Captain: “Neverwinter ho!”
Dwarf: “Hos? Where?”
SB: “Eventually you end up at the most popular stall in the market.”
Player: “Porn?”
About attacking a character that may or may not be good:
SB: “Wait, what’s your alignment?”
Player: “Lawful Paranoid.”
Taunting the kraken:
Player: “Your tentacles are so short even an anime girl wouldn’t take 'em!”
Questioning the legitimacy of an NPC:
SB (IC as Priest): “I have a degree in polytheism from the University of Phoenix Online!”
Making sure it’s really dead:
SB: "You kick the head and it goes sailing through the open door of the tomb. You hear a voice in the darkness go ’Gooooooooal!’”
Killing the undead:
SB: “Congratulations, you choked something to death that doesn’t breathe.”
Mass undead murder:
Player: “We made a ghoul-ash. An evil gumbo, really.”
Architecture:
Player: “I like big buttresses and I cannot lie.”
Interesting kills:
SB: “You decapitated him with a bludgeoning weapon.”
About flying books:
Player 1: “The window opens in! How do they fly out?”
Player 2: “They’re paperbacks."
Player: “Thank God I decided to engage the dragon in melee.”
MW: “You’ll never hear that in any other D&D campaign ever again.”
Player: “Is the food still on the table?”
Three Of Us: “DON’T EAT IT!!!”
Overheard During D&D 5e
Annoying Teen: (about his character) “Would he still hate me?”
AD: (not about his character) “I think everyone hates you.”
Don’t mess with a dire bear:
JI: “There’s one inside who attacks the bear…" (rolls) "...and misses horribly ‘cause he shits his pants.”
JI: “He doesn’t have 100 hit points. He has 95.”
Demonic insight:
KH: “I say in Infernal, ‘Peace! We mean you no harm!’”
JI: “There’s no word in Infernal for ‘peace.’”
Retroactive Edit: Demons actually speak Abyssal. Devils speak Infernal.
Animal form disadvantages:
AD: “I’m going to bite [the zombie].”
Everyone Else: (mass noise of disgust)
JI: “You feel a pinch in your mind as if she’s flipping through your yellow pages.”
AD: “That’s got to be a euphemism for something.”
ST: “Oh, yeah, baby, turn my yellow pages.”
JB: “Turn to ‘F’ for fun.”
What happens in every religious venue in every D&D campaign ever:
JB: “Here is the church, here is the steeple,”
KH: “Open the door, and here are the zombies.”
KH: “Did you sneak off to her house in the middle of the night?”
ST: “Does that sound like something I would do?”
KH, AD, and CD: “Yes.”
JI: “You guys came in here - ”
AD: “ - like a wrecking ball - ”
Post-adventure considerations:
KH: “[Rogue] wouldn’t know what to do with her life.”
AD: “She can bail herself out of jail.”
Switching to melee for a change:
CD: “Let’s see if this ‘offense’ thing you do all the time really works.” (rolls a critical hit)
The logistics of being swallowed by a sea monster:
ST: “Am I going to take damage if I move further along his digestive tract?”
EC: “If you had leprosy and your ears fell off would you be a deaf leper?”
Identifying mysterious cults:
KH: “What’s the Cult of Howling Hatred?”
EC: “The Westboro Baptist Church, obviously.”
DR: “Apparently your god has personally intervened due to your badassery.”
A Mass Effect cameo on a dexterity check for dancing:
EC: “If you roll a one, you dance like Shepard.”
EC (IC): “So what you’re saying is that it’s very dangerous and we shouldn’t go in. I’ll take point.”
Things to worry about in combat:
KH: “You don’t have enough hit points to take it like a man, honey.”
The ends justify the means?:
Bubbles: “Did you have fun role-playing an interrogation?”
DR: “You guys are fucked up.”
KH: “How do you stun-lock a Terrasque?!?”
JB: “Fourth Edition.”
ST: “Do we have to kill them before we eat? I hate murdering on an empty stomach.”
About a revenant and a possible lover:
EC: “Well the beast is committing necrophilia and the necro is committing bestiality…”
DR: “What happens in Faerun, et cetera.”
Rolling high on a seduction check:
DR: “Frankly, I didn’t think you’d go down this road.”
KH: “Oh, I went down all right.”
More on the seduction roll:
Bubbles: “Try to convince her to come with us. The way she came with you last night.”
About a nonviolent kua-toa:
Player: “He’s a paci-fish.”
About dealing with face-hugging enemies:
CD: “You swung at yourself and missed?”
AD: “I swung at myself and missed.”
ST (IC): “I’ll be staying in the boat unless you have need of my specific skills.”
CD (OOC): “Dying first is not a skill.”
About cultists:
DM (IC): “They are water people. Maybe they’re just going with the flow.”
About a minotaur who keeps missing:
DM: “At least when you put a bull in a china shop he’ll break shit.”
About bottles of brandy:
EC: “I have two questions: how many of them are there and how many of them can I carry?”
Ideas so bad they’re good:
KH: “We’re gonna blow up the temple with the distillery.”
F: “The temple, the lich, half the plot…”
About using a lot of magic:
JS: “We’re blowing a big load here right now.”
JS: “You wanna go up the shaft?”
ST and T: “That’s what he said.”
About flirting with an efreet:
JI: “Below her waist is a trailing cloud of black smoke, so you’re not getting anything.”
Questioning the guardian imp:
Player (IC): “What happens if someone disturbs the sarcophagus before your time is up?”
WS (IC): “There’ll be six more weeks of winter.”
MR (IC): “Trying to undercut me on my quest to restore my former glory?”
KH (IC): “You have no glory to restore.”
Other Players: “Oooooooh!”
SW: “Quick, someone cast heal!”
When talking with a spirit:
MR (IC): “You can’t just ask someone if they’re dead! That’s incredibly rude! The correct term is ‘mortally challenged’!”
After a petrifying encounter with some basilisks:
BC: “I always thought she was stone-hearted.”
KT: “I dunno, I thought she rocked.”
JS: “I am going to kill all of you.”
What to do with windmills:
KH: “If we had a lance, we could go tilting.”
MR: “Cavalier idea.”
Quest priorities:
Player 1: “No one’s going to pay us to do it right now. It’s not worth the attention.”
JF: “Roll to see if you hit me by accident.”
KH: “Oh, I’d hit you on purpose.”
K’s paladin chastising A’s paladin about her sex habits:
A (IC): “I thought you were the paladin of joy!”
K (IC): “Not that kind of joy!”
About a previous edition of D&D:
KH: “[What] the hell couldn’t you do in 3.5?”
SW: “Win.”
KH: “Technically you’re underage.”
ST: “That’s never stopped me before.”
AD: “You or your character?”
ST: “Do I have to answer that?”
D: “We’re gonna make the Underdark great again!”
ST: “We’re gonna build a wall - a really big wall in the Underdark, and we’re gonna make the gnomes pay for it.”
A: “We pay for everything already! Screw you!”
About a character who caught fire:
T: “He’s not rolling initiative; he’s rolling on the ground.”
T (IC): “Let’s go before the men’s egos get us killed.”
JB (IC): “My god believes in good opportunities. Not dying is a good opportunity.”
Passing on some bad news:
JI (IC): “[Chief] not sick!”
AD (IC): “He was when we were done with him.”
To a healer:
KH (IC): “I don’t suppose you have a cure for the common cold?”
JI (IC): “I’m not a miracle worker.”
Reassuring a woman scorned:
AA (IC): “Go tell her - all men dogs.”
JI (OOC): “Says the cat.”
To the tune of “Like a G6”:
ST and KH: “Roll a d6, roll a d6!”
KH: “Of course it’s always about dirty sex - I’m a bard!”
AD: “The hell are you two talking about down there?!”
To a mindflayer, about a stupid character:
KH (IC): “I’d offer you his brain to eat, but I don’t think he has one.”
JS (IC as mindflayer): “I don’t eat junk food.”
MGW: “It’s Tza…Zsa…his name is Jasper.”
Saying goodbye to the barkeep:
MR (IC): “I’ll be back visiting the northern parts soon.”
KH (OOC): “And then you can visit her southern parts.”
About a questionable NPC:
ST (IC): “I would never dream of hurting you!”
KH (IC): “I would.”
About prison visitations:
JB (IC): “How often is it that a [gypsy] walks in here voluntarily?”
Failing a romance/persuasion check:
AA: “Ooh, she cast Zone of Friend!”
Preparing for a swamp adventure:
CD: “I want to buy some insect repellant.”
AD: “What, your personality doesn’t drive them away?”
About a magic boat:
JB (IC): “I saw it grow!”
ST (IC): “Are you sure you didn’t rub it? That sometimes happens with wood.”
JB (IC): “You would know.”
ST (IC): “You wouldn’t.”
JB (IC): “Tell that to my two children.”
About an injured drow:
MGW (IC): “Look at that poor girl! She has a black eye! You can’t see it, ‘cause her skin is black, but still!”
Last-minute aliases:
RD (IC): “Unfortunately, no, my name is Dick Ballsenshaft.”
To a half-orc and Sir Bearington, regarding weirdness:
MGW (IC): “…but for me to assume you’re in a loving relationship with a talking bear is where we draw the line?!”
Wisdom for stealing magic items:
KC: “Anything that glows goes.”
About fleeing:
RD: “I’m going to run like an Amazon employee during the holidays.”
MGW: “You were doing so well until everybody died.”
JF: “D&D in a summary.”
Once more about fleeing:
RD: “A smart man knows when to run like a little bitch.”
J: “Why do you think that’s the first thing I did?”
Recapping the previous session:
A: “There was a shitshow, but we got away with it.”
S: “So the usual, then.”
About creature size:
MR: “Is an ettin large or huge?”
MGW: “I think he’s just large.”
A: “He’s probably large but pretends he’s huge.”
AS: “Typical guy.”
When a pervy character is disgusted by a perv:
RD: “Dear Kettle, I have an issue with your current hue. Signed, the Pot.”
A: “He told us to send a message.”
KH: “A sword in the stomach is a message.”
SW: “The Lannisters send their regards.”
The pervy paladin:
A: “I used Lay On Hands. I healed him.”
KH: “Yeah, but where did you lay your hands?”
MGW: “Wherever she wanted.”
About our tactics:
SW: “We put the 'fun’ in 'dysfunctional.’”
About possible activities:
MGW (IC): “I know you’re a tiefling, but we’re all the same color in the dark, right?”
Interesting weapon material:
MGW: “You all take a moment of reflective silence.”
JB: “Nah, I’m just cleaning my bone.”
KH: “Technically that’s a moment of reflective silence.”
KC: “Not if you’ve seen the barbarian do it.”
Scrying like bad cell reception:
KH: “Switch to AD&D.”
JB: “Can you scry me now?”
About the taste of human:
SW: “You would know.”
A: “Nah, I don’t swallow.”
MR: “This conversation is making me uncomfortable.”
Wrestling prep:
MR (IC): “I want a good, clean fight.”
A (IC): “No we don’t.”
JB (IC): “What’s a clean fight?”
A (IC): “It means you have to take a bath first.”
JB (IC): “What’s a bath?”
MGW: “There’s a bridge that looks like it may have collapsed at some point.”
JB: “Is it a-bridged?”
Beautiful references (read in Rorschach’s voice):
AA: “I’m not grappled with YOU,”
ST, AA, and KH: “YOU’RE grappled with ME!”
About remaining spells:
KH: “I have three 1st-level slots and one 2nd-level slot.”
CD: “Those are 'keeping people alive’ slots.”
Dealing with extra-limbed gorillas:
ST: “Uh-oh! They must have been forewarned!”
AD: “What makes you say that?”
ST: “Forewarned is four-armed.”
AD: -_-
Negotiation skills:
AD: “It’s just me trying to bullshit him.”
JI: “Why don’t you make a bullshit check?”
Trying to figure out if the staff is necromantic:
CD: “We could kill a mouse in front of the staff. We could kill a mouse with the staff. How much is it to buy a mouse?”
JB: “Anyone die while I was gone?”
SW: “Not on the outside.”
Wizarding limits:
JS: “You may not polymorph your zombies into t-rexes.”
Zombies aren’t too smart:
BC (IC): “Bobs, attack the closest gnoll!”
Bobs: (run at gnoll party member)
KH (OOC): “Et tu, Bob?”
JS (OOC): “If this doesn’t belong in your blog, I dunno what does.”
Far too relatable:
JS: “Twenty psychic damage.”
BC: “I’ve taken more psychic damage from my mother.”
Worst-laid plans:
KH (IC): “I have a very bad feeling about this.”
MR (IC): “You should.”
Our go-to combat tactic:
MR: “Are we going to stupid the guy to death?”
Zing!:
MGW (IC): “If you join me, I can make you the greatest dwarf who ever lived.”
TP (IC): “I am the greatest dwarf who ever lived.”
Whole Table (OOC): “Ooooohhhhh!!!”
Another verbal duel with a sea god/character class limitations:
KH: “I would say 'what is a god to a nonbeliever,’ but I’m a cleric.”
Activating the mysterious device:
BC (IC): “We did it! I wonder what we did?”
Business as usual:
KH: “This seems like a bad idea, but go ahead.”
Old adages:
MR: “No plan survives contact with the enemy.” (IC) “But then, no enemy has survived contact with us!” (OOC) “Was that quote-worthy?”
KH: “Yes.”
KC: “She can ride me. I don’t care.”
KH: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
KC: “…I’M A BEAR IN ARMOR.”
Advantageous druidic inanity:
KC: “Are you still riding the flying bear?”
MR: “It’s flying now?”
KC: “Yeah, he flew up to unlock the door.”
AS: “…So he’s a flying bear with armor…”
Spell modifications for humourous purposes:
MR: “Using a Dex[terity] save for Zone of Truth means they’re literally dodging the question.”
About a wild, crazy, out-of-left-field hypothesis:
RD (IC): “I figured if you pulled something that big our of your ass there’d be bleeding involved.”
MR (IC): “…That’s between me and my proctologist.”
SW (OOC): “Did you take fire damage for that? That’s like Taco Bell levels of burn.”
As is per usual:
MR: “We may have once again survived this by the skin of bullshit.”
Since I remade Ghirahim's hairstyle during parts 4/5 of my Skyward Sword AU/self fic, I thought I'd also remake one of my favourite drawings of him and Nathaniel.
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