#twight

life felt… different without him. it felt like nothing was real. like you were living a dream. or well… a nightmare would be a better word.

you knew it was real. you could hear and see and feel everything that gave away that fact. it just didn’t feel teal. you don’t know if it ever would. you miss him. more than you’d care to admit, but you knew he was toxic.

from all the times he left you alone. to fight for yourself when he was the one that put your life in danger. hell from all the times he put your life in danger you knew he was toxic. nobody had to tell you that. it’s a known fact that the cullen’s are a family full of walking red flags—that’s no secret.

and edward? well he’s the biggest, brightest, boldest red flag that there is. but he has this specific draw to him. you don’t know how he got you, but he did. he trapped you with his bright eyes and old school charm. maybe you should’ve seen it coming… maybe you didn’t want to.

part of you knew the second you saw him that this would happen… the other part didn’t care. it wasn’t anything particular that he said or did… just a feeling that came along with it. you’re scared that you’ll never feel that way again… but at the same time you don’t know if you should.

you knew that his world moved too fast and burned too bright for him to incorporate you into it. but you couldn’t help but think… how could the devil be pulling you towards someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiled at you?

and the worst part of it all wasn’t even losing him… it was losing yourself.

“edward i can’t keep doing this!” you exclaim. the two of you were locked in your third heated argument of the week—and it was barely tuesday. stood across from him in your kitchen, arms crossed defensively at your chest as you scream until you practically can’t anymore.

“then stop coming back!” he yelled back with just as much anger. his face was hard as he stared at you, and he held death itself behind his shiny gold irises.

“then stop pulling me back, edward! stop chasing me! stop fighting for me! i don’t want to do this anymore i’ve had enough!” you argued, exasperatedly running a hand through your hair.

“i’m fighting to keep you alive how do you not understand that?!” he exclaimed, befuddled by your obliviousness.

“you wouldn’t have to if you would just turn me!” you yelled.

“and do the exact same thing i’m trying to keep you away from?! you’re being so ridiculous i don’t understand how someone can actually be this oblivious!” he shouted.

“because you’re risking your eternity for me!” you argued.

“yeah well i wouldn’t have to if you wouldn’t have gotten involved with us in the first place!” he yelled.

“and i wouldn’t have gotten involved if you didn’t throw a falling fucking tree out of my way edward are you kidding me?!” you yelled, bewildered at how he could possibly be making this your fault.

“oh i’m sorry for saving your life?” he snarked sarcastically.

“i didn’t ask you to! you could have left me alone and we would never have been in this mess!” you scoffed, shaking your head in disbelief.

“do you realize that you could have died?” he questioned incredulously.

“do you realize that this is your fault?” you snarked.

“my fault?!” he scoffed.

“yes! every problem in my life would either be solved or never have occurred if i didn’t meet you!” you yelled.

“then leave!” he shouted.

“i’m trying! edward i’m trying. i’ve tried so many times in the past but you constantly insist that we just need time away from each other. that i can’t leave because i’m your ‘mate’ whatever the fuck that means,” you shook your head.

“the first time you left me was hell. the second time was worse. by the fourth time i was used to it and now edward i… i’m just so used to it that it’s honestly unbelievable,” you rested your elbows on the counter, rubbing at your temples that had become set aflame with a migraine.

“if you keep complaining i still don’t understand why you don’t just walk away…” he spoke, his tone now lowered as he leant against your counter, arms crossed over his chest.

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!” you exclaimed. “i remember when you’d come to my room late in the night just to complain about your family. and how you miss your old life. and i’d assure you that no matter what in my eyes you’d never he a monster i didn’t even care what label you had. i spent hours edward… i mean all of my hours and advice just trying to fix you and all your daddy issues but you’ve left me so many times that now i don’t even miss you anymore,” you sighed softly as you sniffled.

“stop it…” he demanded, tears now welling in his eyes the same way they had in your’s.

“no edward you need to hear this. i want all the tears back that i cried over you. every single time that you left. all the hours spent giving advice on how to write your wrongs but all you did was prove me wrong!” you shouted.

“yn i’ve said it so many times and i’ll say it again untill my tongue falls off. i love you. i told you that the first day i met you,” he begged.

“well then you must’ve had your fingers crossed…” you shook your head, hugging yourself as you sniffled quietly.

that had been six months ago. now you were alone. it barely even hurts anymore. you meant what you said when you told him you don’t miss him anymore.

you knew he was still around. you could feel him lingering… watching you wherever you went. but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him to stop. you were drawn to him. it was more than love. maybe he was right when he said you’re his mate. you don’t have much time to dwell on it because that’s the past.

“yn…” you heard his voice whisper as you were walking through the halls.

“go away edward!” you demanded.

“you won’t even look at me anymore! please talk to me i’m sorry,” he begged.

“that won’t work this time,” you shook your head, trying to stay strong, although all you wanted to do was break down in tears.

“you’re being harsh and you know it. this isn’t you, what happened? please yn…” he begged. “just talk to me.”

“what do you want me to say edward?” you scoffed.

“you’re my mate and you know it. i know you feel what i feel, i can sense that you feel what i feel i can hear that you feel what i feel. just stop giving me the cold shoulder please i’m begging you to just talk to me again,” you heard him sniffle, and your shoulders fell.

“what? do you want me to tell you i’m sorry?” you scoffed. “i could say i’m sorry but i’m not… you don’t deserve the one thing that you lost,” you told him. “we’re done edward. for good this time. please just leave me alone.” you tore your wrist from his grasp, pivoting on your heel and marching away from him with your head held high.

you scoffed at the cullen siblings as you walked past them. rosalie giving you a hard glare, alice throwing a sympathetic smile, jasper staring, almost trance like, and emmet forcing himself to look anywhere but at you. you were done with the family red flag. you’ve had enough.

“i still see you two together…” alice spoke softly as you passed.

“then change your vision,” you snarked, walking away with your head held high, uncaring of what she—or any of the other siblings—had more to say.