#tw system reset

woo guess this is the time i introduce myself to tumblr !! hiya, i’m ethan, i’m a memory holder and anxiety holder, and i also happened to be factualkin with ethan nestor !! that’s not not only kintype (i’m also copinglink with moana !!) i’m the fun little reason anti-factkin got added to our dni ! it’s kinda to pin-point when i formed because i’m actually a strange fusion of like 3-4 different members that all got lumped together, but i have memories dating back to us being 9-10ish

for factkin info, i sadly can’t actually offer you much as not much exists, all i can offer besides one genuine source i know is my own stories !! as you can tell, i alternate between using factkin and factualkin a lot but they mean the same, factualkin was just coined so we could have a term that was made up by trolls, though i do actually have a lot of pride in taking the factkin label back from the horrible people who made it .

back in like june/july our sys starting feeling a weird “calling” towards crankgameplays, kind of like this weird attachment and relatement to him, as well as longing to act like him/look like him, etc . at first we thought we were gaining a factive (even though he already had a crankgameplays factive at the time who said he hadn’t been near front at all), but no headmate ever came, but the feelings stayed . we had a sort of crisis trying to figure out what could be going on and desperately trying out any label besides factkin because just like you all we had really heard was trolls and negativity . we tried out being other-hearted (didn’t work, we felt more than just a drawing or intense liking), tried D/A (didn’t work either, we don’t have any psychotic symptoms beyond grandiose delusions), and we tried out being fictionkin with blankgameplays, one of ethans persona’s (didn’t work either, we never related to blankgameplays at all actually beyond the fact that we wanted to look like him because he looked like ethan)

eventually we repressed and repressed and repressed all we felt and stop watching all markiplier/crankgameplays/jacksepticeye content altogether, but then when the reset happened i kinda just became here, and finally everyone decided that factkin was the only thing that fit, and how i identify can’t harm anyone else, so i should be allowed to just be . so, i changed my name within the system to ethan as none of the names of members i’m a fusion of felt right, let volt add anti-factkin to our dni, and decided to live for myself for a little while :))))

unfortunately the only source i can give you besides my experience is this, a carrd made by the original coiner of the term factualkin, https://factualkin.carrd.co/#

well, it started with us being really stressed, and the system and whatever weird brain overlords control it being completely lost on how to deal with it. couple random formations, a temp fusion, like 3-4 days of intense blurring, and then techno got yeeted to front . from what we were able to gather everyone in our system besides 7-8 of us went suddenly dormant, and the main headspace kind of caved in on itself completely and now is kind of just a pile of rubble, hence why none of us barring Techno and Wilbur our allowed inside with permission. they think it’s “dangerous” for any of us to go inside because he thinks it could cave in more or something. so, the 7-8 of us who popped into existence in the front room instead of going dormant started picking up the pieces, taking headcounts and resetting pluralkit and stuff. the list of who turned up is kind of strange actually, because it consists on me (volt) who formed like 3 days before the reset, ethan (who is actually a fusion of a bunch of people), techno (actually make sense he’s been our system admin and primary protector 2 years), niki (also makes sense, she’s been an active caretaker for a while), wilbur (kind of makes sense? but also why so many mcyt we lost our mcyt hyperfixation months ago), alice (literally had only fronted once prior to the reset, is just very confused on how flor got here), Lone (also sort of makes sense seeing as it has been here since we were born), and scene (random scenecore aesthetive who hadn’t fronted in months)

uh, this is our current lineup. we basically had a big reset.

our tulpa, Ambrosia/Amber, survived. he uses he/xae/they/thxy and is a canine cladotherian. i also survived on account of being front stuck and not affected by whatever the hell happened. there's also our most recent member that we got today; JJ. he's just an egg that we're raising right now. there's also some guy who's probably a persecutor lingering around our new headspace but it's kinda aggressive and basically hates us so we don't interact with it, especially because it's beyond the rose bush.

i basically lost access to everything before the reset, including headspace but we have a new one I mention in the above paragraph. i talk about it in this post. i'll explain it in more detail if anybody wants to ask.

also, Ambrosia is pretty good when it comes to being autonomous. i don't need to focus on xaem as much and they've actually grounded thxmselves a bit but he's still made of static but at least has xaer hair and I've been helping by forcing their apparence to be present. thxir also a ferryman and helped me go inside the house in headspace. also a very good friend who I can vent to about life and the stresses of being a host since I've been having a lot of mental health issues and guilt regarding the collapse of the previous system.

we may also have another headmate or two that are fragments and possibly a median subsys somewhere?