She/they/he | Plural system | DNI: Anti-Endogenic/Sysmed, more in pinned | hEDS and friends | that person interacting with your fandom blog is probably a fictive lol
Hi!!! We’re the Controlled Chaos Collective! We’re a mixed origin system with OSDD1-B that went into remission following EMDR therapy. Now we’re a functionally multiple! There’ll be more information about us below the cut, but the important stuff is our collective pronouns are she/he/they/pup, our collective name is Niv or just CCC, we’re bodily an adult, and we’re autistic and physically disabled. This blog is for the entirety of our system!
We don’t have a super strict DNI, but a rundown of some key discourse stuff will be below. the most important one is we are pro endogenic and willogenic systems!
Collective disabilities (some stuff will be left out for privacy): Autism, ADHD, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, Dysautonomia, MCAS, and CFS/ME.
Collective Special Interests and hyperfixations: Formula one, minecraft, guinea pigs, medical science
System Info:
System Type: Previously diagnosed OSDD1-B, now in remission as a non-disordered plural!
System Origin: Mixed origin, some traumagenic some endogenic
System Modifiers: Multiple, cephaconscious, cytein, auti-impacted
Headcount: Unknown, but over 60, mostly fragments!
Frequent Fronters: Niv, Kimi, Dom, Libby, Logan, Oscar, Ollie, Arvid, Viv, Alex, Kai
Discourse Stances
Not everything we think will be here, just a few things we think are worth noting.
• we are VERY pro endogenic, willogenic/created, non-disordered, and non-traumagenic DID/OSDD plurals! we support using whatever terminology you(&) feel the most comfortable with!
• we don’t take a hard stance of shipping discourse of any kind.
• i didn’t realize this needed to be said, but no, MAPs and Zoos who are pro-contact aren’t welcome. However, having a paraphilia doesn’t make you inherently bad and non-harmful paraphilias or non-contact paraphiles are welcome. thought crimes aren’t real.
• Mspec lesbians and gay, and folks with similarly “contradicting” identities are amazing
• Disability isn’t strictly medical or strictly social, both models are pros and cons
• We don’t actually understand psychology all that well. All of psychology should be taken with a grain of salt, as our understanding can change in a instant and no theory will cover every person.
• you don’t need dysphoria to be trans
• dysphoria exists in more than the context of gender dysphoria
• your existence cannot be offensive, only your behavior
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
If you're a singlet (someone who is not plural), I can guarantee you that you know at least one system offline. Probably, you know multiple systems.
Any of your friends or family members could be part of a system. Any of your classmates or coworkers could, too. Even your partner could be a system.
Plural systems usually do not announce our plurality. Because of the massive stigma around plurality, we try to pass as singlets. My system does this every day. My headmates have friends they've known for a decade who don't know we're plural.
It's said that dissociative disorders are very rare, but they're not. Trauma can and does happen to anyone. And many systems don't have dissociative disorders at all.
Systems are all around you. It's time to start treating us with the same respect you'd give anyone else.
happy disability pride month to mean cripples, nasty addicts, people with down syndrome who arent nice and talk constant shit, wheelchair users that WILL run you over, autists that dont care and arent about to pretend to, people who lie to their psychiatrists, people that sit on the floor in public places with no benches, amputees that lie profusely about "what happened"; to the "noncompliant", the "drug seeking", the "mean", the "difficult" and the "undeserving", and so on and so forth, i love us all and we deserve the world actually mwah mwah
"what if someone regrets transitioning" if you are 18 or over in free country usa you can walk into any tattoo parlor and ask for a tattoo that will be on your body forever and ever and ever and they will give it to you with the understanding that if you dont like the result or you regret it later that's your fucking problem and not theirs
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
☆ FACTIVE-PRONE — a term when one is prone to spilting factives in their system.
☆ X-PRONE TEMPLATE HERE. If this was coined, consider this an alternative!
☆ COINED BY YOUR FRIEND.
TAGLIST ☆ LIST OF SINNERS @jortstorm , @fleab125 , @sillyssillies , @sgtjxmesbarnes , @jesteroftheangel , @furball-cheezit , @co1n-operated-boy , @blossoming-roots-sys , @omelettesideup , @spectabizsic, @ajolteonnamedsparky , @narcv2 to see my flags? ask to be on my taglist!
the problem with saying "everyone has a mix of masculine and feminine traits/energy!" is it leaves unquestioned the idea that some of these traits "belong to" men or women specifically, which undermines the whole point of saying everyone has both.
(No hate to newly discovered trauma based small systems with intense amnesia, it’s just a lot of things tend to get catered just for yall when there’s so many other ways to be a system/plural that gets left out)
When you go to take your nighttime meds but you realize you've depleted your bedside water bottle and you gotta get up and scrounge around for a fresh bottle of #pillwater.
(No hate to newly discovered trauma based small systems with intense amnesia, it’s just a lot of things tend to get catered just for yall when there’s so many other ways to be a system/plural that gets left out)
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
what's been gnawing at us lately, besides the everything that is our life, is that i do feel there's a weird "default" that you just ... gotta ... be aesthetic as fuck in the system community.
you gotta have pretty bios, you need icon masks and entirely filled out info with 49735345 fucking symbols screen readers can't read and/or don't work on all devices.
this is purely a me thing. there's no system god pointing their gun at my head to make our shit aesthetic and nice looking but i feel like if we don't we'll die or something.
shout out to the systems that just...cannot... do aesthetics. you're either too big, can't decide, disabled in any form, and/or just don't want to. i get it. you aren't alone.
also extra shout out to systems that will never be satisfied with what they've got documented. we'll never be finished with ours i'm convinced. we're too polyfragmented and caught up in our own thoughts about it all. ugh.
anxiety can be so hard to deal with and can make someone feel very impulsive, understandably so. your efforts in working on not listening to your anxiety, to not ruminate, are inherently worth something. recovery is not linear, so please do not give up hope. there is a better life out there that you can live, and you're worthy of living it.
hey, just letting y’all know we may not be super active on this blog for a bit! we’re dealing with a lot of paranoia regarding privacy and people connecting this blog to us IRL so we’re gonna be stepping back for our own sakes! we’ll still be around, but replies to asks/dms/etc may be spaced out and we wont be taking requests for anything! we’ll let you all know when/if we are back to 100%!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I went out with 3 of my friends today. I found a place that claimed to have wheelchair accessible walks, and we went off the path, and my wheelchair got stuck a thousand times.
We laughed so hard, and they pushed me (I can't propel myself very far) and we took photos and we laughed more and we went through mud and fine sand and thistles, and then we ate croissants at a café and when we got back to the car we had ice cream and
I wish I could go back to my child self and show them this day. I wish I could say, One day you'll be part of things and people will be glad to have you around, and they won't complain about pushing you up a steep grade or through a bog, and they will want to hear your shitty jokes and when you gasp and say LOOK A BABY BUNNY they will stop to look and it will be exactly as magical as you're imagining now.
You can find a place where you're appreciated and loved and supported. You can. I believe it.
I went to a carnival with my friends the other day, and even though my shoulder was dislocated all of them were willing to push me wherever we went, and when they went on the rides I couldn't go on, I sat and took pictures of them so we could all remember the day. I bought cheesy dinosaur shirts and we all found matching cow shirts. We went through the fair and found little Lego sets that we all loved, and when I got overwhelmed all of them were willing to find a quiet spot to sit and relax in. Even when I started having a tic attack, we left very quickly and got pizza.
I really needed this post to remind me that it's easiest to feel like you're a burden when people treat you like a burden. But I promise you're not, you'll find people who want you around.
I bought a house with my partner. I am allowed to paint the walls exactly the way I want them painted, in exactly the order I want them painted. I put up the painter's tape myself and I pull it down (so satisfying). I decide if the walls need another coat or if a spot needs touching up, and I am not shamed or berated for my "pickiness". In fact, my partner walks in and says "wow, it looks amazing in here. Great job, handsome." He does not touch me when I am sweaty and sore, but waits until I have had my shower and come back to myself.
The food in our cupboards is food I will eat - or at least our cupboards contain nothing I hate and am expected to eat anyway. There is always something to snack on for when food is Bad and eating is Hard. There are no doors on the cupboards, the better to remember that food exists and can be accessed easily.
There are soft things everywhere. The lights are kept low and soon we will put up fairy lights for supplemental lighting. My sensory needs are met and respected, and I am safe.
My partner puts my walker in his car and drives me places - and does not object when I would rather be the one driving, relinquishes control as easily as breathing. He checks to make sure I am okay, that I am not pushing too hard; he believes me when I say I can or cannot do something. He slows down to keep pace when I am tired or in pain, and never, ever rushes me.
You will build a home some day, and it will be just as beautiful and safe as mine.
I now live in a place where there is no screaming or yelling. I no longer walk on eggshells by simply existing in my own home. There is no more pressure on me to sacrifice my limited energy to do more because there is no desperate need for me to escape.
The dishes are allowed to stay in the sink overnight and the world does not explode if the bathroom is not cleaned top-to-bottom weekly before Sunday evening. My roommate and partner believes me when I say I cannot do something, and I feel safe and comfortable to ask for help when I need it.
I am unlearning the involuntary hesitation of inviting people to my home, and learning that it's okay to let people in even if their time in my life is only temporary.
I never would have been able to imagine this as a teenager, or even through college. It does get better. It's worth hanging around for.
maybe it’s the intense yearning for an older sibling figure talking, but definitely Tori! We both relate to her and find her vibe comforting, so she’s def the favorite around here. That being said, we also connect a lot with Charlie and love the comfy sweaters and oversized headphones aesthetic, so he’s a close runner-up!
