#tw octopus

Ah yes, classic Childe. The only man you’d witness bringing a gigantic octopus home at 3 am.

You’re lucky that you’ve been waiting for him in the living room instead of Zhongli.

“Childe- where’s Timmie? The entire reason I asked you to go on an expedition?”

“My grace, but isn’t this fish impressive?” Seemingly insisting that he’s unaware that you’ve just asked him a question, Childe instead extends his arms to show you the gigantic, still-alive octopus that he barely held steadily.

“Childe- wait, is that a kid behind you?” You just noticed a miniature redhead on Ajax’s back. He lets the kid slide down and peek behind him to look at you.

“Oh, yea! It’s my little brother, my grace!” The octopus flops and sprays both you and Childe with cold saltwater in its struggle. Irritated, Childe goes melee mode, and straight-up stabs it.

“Tartaglia! What-“ you would have sworn in shock if Teucer wasn’t peeking from Childe’s legs. You let out an exasperated sigh. “You did whAT-“

“Comrade- shhh, you’ll wake up the others!”

“Don’t shush me, Ajax! Why would you do that!”

You lowered your volume since Teucer was shrinking in his shell, and the nightly ambience returned. “Sorry, Teucer.” You crouched down and whispered.

You hear the snorings return. Everyone’s asleep, including the “I don’t need sleep” members.

As you peer around the room, Ajax is still holding up the biggest fish you’ve ever seen. He looks so proud that you felt the same. Wait.

“Ajax, what did you do??? It’s 3 am??? I thought you said you’re going to pick Timmie up back here???”

“Answer my question-“ you continue, waving to Teucer as Childe lets his brother down. The younger brother slides off and tiptoes over for your hug.

“I thought I told you to pick up the kid whose name started with T in Mondstadt??”

Ignoring your question, Childe heaves the fish upper and attempts to distract you.

“Teucer wanted to gift you something! So we went fishing, my grace. Do you like this?” You return your gaze to the beaming Childe and continue hugging the child.

“Thank you? But- Why a fish, comrade???” You poke the fish’s skin, and it’s freezing to the touch. “Did you two go ice-fishing?? Are you two okay??” Giving both of them a hug, you carry the fish from Childe. You nudge Teucer and Childe with your feet to follow you as you three clear the stench and place the fish outside.

“Since you two kept warm, I’ll give you a pass. But you better get Timmie here right now.”

“Can I stay?” You nod to the tiny voice of Teucer, giving him a small beckon for a hug.

“How did you- how- did you even mix up the two kids?” You continue, still ruffling the freckled child’s ginger hair. It’s softer than his brother’s, yet is still damp, with the same salty scent from Snezhnaya’s icy seas as his brother.

“My grace, you asked me to pick up ‘the kid whose name started with a T’, so I assumed that you meant my bro?” Giving you a nervous chuckle, he picks up your worrying. “I didn’t hear your grace say ‘from Mondstadt’. Sorry!” He bows deeply, clasping his hands together in apology.

You let him straighten up with a hand gesture, and he does. “It’s too late, I’m afraid.” You sigh, and he tenses up again.

“If you wish so, you could go check and pick up Timmie with Teucer IF he’s still awake.”

“My grace?” You hear Teucer ask. “Yes?”

“What if he’s asleep? It’s past my bedtime, so I think his bedtime would be too.” You rub your temples as Teucer quickly asks one last thing. “Please don’t be mad at ‘Jax?”

You pick up the now-timid redhead. “Okay. Ajax?” The older brother perks up.

“If he’s already asleep, pick him up tomorrow and apologise to him and his family. Do you understand?” The childish grin on Ajax returns, and he rushes away from the teapot to Mondstadt.

“Teucer?” “Yes! I mean my grace.” “Do you want to sleep in my bed or your brother’s?” “Can we have a sleepover at my brother’s bed? I wanna be around you, but I also like ‘Jax’s pillows. He took the nice plushie with him.” You raise an eyebrow and smile at the kid. “Okay.” “YAY!” Right as you brought Teucer inside, you see Klee tiptoeing out from her room. “Oops.” Klee squeezes Dodoco and gives you the cutest blushy smile. “Hello, my grace. Please don’t tell Master Hean or big bro ‘Bedo.” You nod and notice Qiqi walking out with a yawn. “Good morning?” “Qiqi, it’s 3 am-“ “Oooh! Hiii! What’s your name?”Klee waves at the new kid enthusiastically. Qiqi does the same, walking over to hug your leg next to Teucer.

You let out a soft laugh and crouch down, bringing the three kids in front of you. “If I let you three join our sleepover, will you sleep properly?” You carry the three as they agree and giggle—one on your back, one on your chest, one in your arms.

By the time Childe came back with Timmie, he’s welcomed by the wholesome sight of you surrounded by kids on his bed. He gently placed the now also-snoring Timmie on you, then crawls into his own bed, repositioning the kids so both him and them get to hug you. Since you’re weighted down by these children, you essentially had a sleep-inducing blanket and didn’t notice in your sleep. Diona will wake up to find you for comfort in the early mornings, and join you, deciding to sleep in your next day.

It was the most comforting sleep you’ve ever had, so it’ll be worth having to deal with your cult’s insistent requests/pleas to also have sleepovers with you. It’s only fair, according to your contract, as Zhongli will later say.