#tw lupus

• He had lupus

• He had piercings—ears and lip

• He didn’t live far from his family, and they checked on him often (as in daily)

• He read more fanfiction than actual books — like, he always had at least 20 tabs worth of fics open on his screen

• The name “Peerless Cucumber” was a dick joke from middle school, but he had the handle forever so he kept it

• Everyone he spoke to irl thought he was the most charming young man

• Which meant he had a wannabe harem when he was alive and had’t even realized it

• He loved his virtual sparing with Airplane whenever he left a vicious comment on the latest chapter

• He started reading PIDW during a hospital stay

• He couldn’t grow facial hair

• He preferred contacts over glasses

• He actually tried to hunt down Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky when the author left a note about living in the same city (It wasn’t a weird thing to do, shut up meimei)

• He barely knew how to brew tea, cooking was never possible for him

• He didn’t have irl friends, just virtual ones

• He cosplayed Luo Binghe once

• He never had a job in his life

• Airplane was the barista at the cafe at the end of Shen Yuans block — the one with the dimples (that Shen Yuan totally didn’t memorize the schedule of) (also, he didn’t know that was Airplane)

• He sometimes had to use a wheelchair

• Or a cane

• He was hyper fixated on PIDW because it started out amazing! And when it slowly became garbage he refused to give it up

• At one point he had commissioned a Binghe body pillow (that he slept with nightly)

• He beta read for fun

• He practically lived in PIDW forums

• He hung out with his siblings almost every day

• They had a sibling group chat that consisted of memes and dick jokes

• He’d never been kissed

• He was a virgin

• He was in his mid-twenties when he died

Dakota's parents were in the upper middle class until his mom, Diana, got really sick with breast cancer and lupus when he was about 9. After she got sick, she had to go on disability and his dad, Austin had to start taking on extra shifts so they could pay for groceries, medical bills, etc. Dakota was so young at the time and he didn't understand any of it.

Today marks eight years since my initial lupus / RA diagnosis. Since then, I’ve collected chronic illnesses like they’re squishmallows. I’ve taken more medications than most will see in their life. Ive cried … a lot.

But more importantly? I lived. And I’m still living. This is what eight years looks like. This is what grief looks like. This is what disability looks like.

This is what thriving looks like. I’m still in pain every day, but I’m living. I’ve been forced to mourn the life I should’ve had on more than one occasion. But it’s okay.

I read a devotional where the author used his food-allergic granddaughter (who was FOUR at oldest) as a metaphor for avoiding sin. YUCK.

Don’t even get me started on the devotional (not sure if it was the same author) where the author used people with lupus, people who are allergic to the sun, etc. as metaphors for protection from sin. The author fetishized the MEDICAL TOOLS (sunblock suits, wide-brimmed hats, and the like) used by people who NEED THEM. I wonder if they’d fetishize IVs, white canes, hearing aids, etc.

PLEASE STOP THIS, ABLEDS.

Today is Rare Disease Awareness Day…

The two diseases I have listed here are things I have struggled with for many years. They are things that I will struggle with for the rest of my life. I hope you’ll take the time to learn a little about them ❤️

Please let me know if you have any questions 🥰

I have been so stressed/overwhelmed with that job. It literally put me into a flare. Sure, I was just a nanny. But the family was totally taking advantage of my time.

But now I’m free. And while the stress of failing health and no money is hard. I will make I through!