#tw 1x07

Queue the integrated recap. Lydia’s voice is doing the narration this time. So, are they taking turns now, or something? I have made all my comments on the previous episode here, so enough about that.

“Lock it!” “Do I look like I have a key?” Not this shit already. The episode has barely even started! Besides, do you honestly think that a creature who is strong enough to whip Derek into a wall would have troubles getting through a locked door? He lifts so much he could probably punch those doors down if he had to, metal or otherwise. Besides, couldn’t he also just vault through a window if he really had to? He’d find a way, I’m sure of it.

Somehow, despite not being werewolf, Stiles realizes that the Alpha has gone to find another way to enter the school before Scott. Shouldn’t Scott have heard him leaving? And yet her heard Allison’s phone call episode 1? Selectively observant hoe.

“Stiles no!” “Yes.” Well, I mean, it’s better to exit the school while the Alpha is preoccupied with finding other way in then-

Wait a minute. Couldn’t the Alpha force the doors open if he really had to? Don’t tell me one untransformed teenage werewolf with hardly any control over his powers and a regular teenage boy can prevent a fully transformed, probably an adult, Alpha werewolf from breaking in to a school.

Unless, he didn’t want to hurt them? But Scott could probably handle it because of the healing, and don’t tell me this Alpha werewolf guy gives a shit about Stiles, because I know he doesn’t. Unless he doesn’t want to upset Scott via harming his human companion? I guess that sort of makes sense?

We’ve barely even started, and there’s already so many questions.

Anyway, back to my original thought train. It’s better to exit the school when the Alpha werewolf is busy looking for another way in the school then when he knows. Unless he’s hiding for now to draw them out, because if so, these two are screwed. Since Scott has the advanced healing, wouldn’t it make more sense for him to go outside than for Stiles to go outside? Fucking hell these boys are dumb.

And Scott doesn’t even bother to stop Stiles. He just watches him from the window in the door. Asshole.

The Alpha crawls out from behind the Jeep. Well, shit.

“Stiles! Stiles! Stiles!” Scott cries, smacking the door to get his attention. Okay, how did Stiles not notice the goddamn wolf creeping out behind the Jeep. How can you be so fixated on grabbing the closest thing you have in this situation to a weapon than looking around to see where the goddamn murderous werewolf could be while you’re at it?

We’re only a minute and twenty-six seconds in this episode, and I already have this many criticizing comments. This is going to be a tough ride, friends. Buckle in.

The werewolf runs at Stiles. It takes Stiles a good four seconds to run away from the wolf that is pretty much galloping at him. One more second, and Stiles may have been dead. The average reaction time for a human is about three seconds, so it makes sense, but still.

He puts the wrench thing in between the push handles. That shit’s not going to last, guys. No fucking way. You’d be better off holding the door closed, honestly. Not that either is going to stop this Alpha werewolf from doing anything, really, but at least it’s more effort and makes more sense.

The sound suddenly stops, because of course it does. Dramatic effect is obviously way more important than logic. “Where is it? Where did it go?” Of course it’s not visible anymore. It’s got some Derek teleportation skills or some shit. I know he’s a werewolf, but fuck this honestly. Stiles whips out a flashlight. Where was he hiding that? I know pockets for boy’s pants are a lot larger, but damn son, they’re not that big. I also, didn’t see Stiles carrying a bag of stuff with him, he couldn’t get into the Jeep, I didn’t see him carrying the flashlight, so? Where was it?

Also, sorry Stiles, I don’t think that using a flashlight from the inside of the school is going to help you out in this situation at all. It’s also not adding any extra illumination to the outside, so that’s one shitty flashlight.

Most standard flashlights are around that level of shitty, so I’m not surprised, but, I just thought it may be worth mentioning anyway.

They eventually back up, giving up on trying to find it for the time being. “That’s not going to hold, is it?” “Probably not.” It’s not just probable, Stiles. If he decides to break through the front doors, he will get in. He’s a werewolf with superhuman strength. Think, you guys, think.

They hear the echo of a wolf howl that actually sounds like a wolf howl (I’m sorry, Scott. What you did back there sounded more like a snarl), so they run into a classroom. Ah, yes. An even better idea.

Well, to be fair, I suppose it is sort of better than just standing there doing nothing.

You don’t have time to talk about who the Alpha werewolf may be, you dumb shits. Block the goddamn door with the desk already!

We don’t have time for your denial games Scott. Or talking. Fucking move the desk! You’ll be dead next if you don’t hurry the fuck up!

They continue to talk and talk and talk….

Because of that, they get glass to the face. Serves them right.

And yet, their faces are somehow uninjured? What?

A huge chunk of bent machinery was thrown through the window. The audience is shown that it has claw markings on the back. You know, it’s more romantic to throw little pebbles at a window than a huge hunk of metal. You’re courting Scott the wrong way.

Unless, of course, the ideas behind werewolves courting are different from courting humans. Although, I don’t think almost killing his best friend is exactly romantic.

Unless you’re interested in the “You must only have eyes for me.” type of romance. I can sort of see the appeal, but I think that’s a bit too yandere for me.

“We have to move.” “He could be right outside.” Of course he’s right outside! Where the fuck did you think that car battery came from, Scott?

“Just let me take a look.” That’s the smartest thing you’ve said all night, Scott. Finally, I don’t need to be sarcastic.

Huh, I didn’t even need to take it back that time. Amazing.

They still can’t see him. Is camouflage another werewolf power?

They decide to start moving and go to the locker room because it doesn’t have windows. Ah, yes, move to a spot that’s even more cramped with an even shittier door. The good ideas just won’t stop!

At least it will prevent glass-related injuries, but you’re better off in a place that you have a chance to run away if needed. There’s nowhere to go in the locker room if this werewolf busts the door open.

I just realized that Scott’s hair has grown out into that dumb hairstyle… again. Ugh. Get a haircut, Scott. The J-Biebs haircut was unattractive even when it was in style.

I mean, I know they think he’s dead, but they’re going to steal Derek’s car? Disrespecting the dead only minutes after they die? Assholes. (p. 2)

“I hear something?” “Like what??” Shut up Stiles and let the werewolf do his job.

They stare at the door and back away from it slowly. Honestly, I’m expecting a “Surprise Motherfuckers” moment and the Alpha werewolf is behind them instead of being behind the door.

Stiles backs into a locker. Not only is that not going to do anything to stop the Alpha werewolf from finding you, it removes absolutely all options of getting away when it does. Also, that makes a fuck-tonne of noise. Again, I must ask, how the fuck are these boys not dead yet?

Turn off your flashlight, Stiles. That could attract attention through the locker slits.

Dramatic staring through the locker scene which is supposed to be tension-filled or something? I know these dumbasses are going to somehow be able to bullshit their way out of this situation, so I’m not scared.

Perhaps, when the door opens, it will be someone else entirely. Maybe it’s Derek?

Wait, who the fuck is this guy? Why is he here so late at night? I know he isn’t the Alpha werewolf because I know who it is, so…

Whoever this guy is (probably a teacher) herds them out of the locker room, and refuses to listen to what they have to say. Even if he did give them a chance, it’s not like he’d believe them anyway.

As soon as the teacher shuts the door, the Alpha werewolf kills him. Ah, so that’s why I don’t know who he is. He gets 5 seconds of screen time and then promptly dies.

What the fuck are you trying to do, Scott? You know he dead. Get the fuck out of there.

He must be one of Scott’s favourite teachers or something, since he really doesn’t do much to save anyone else unless he cares about them. Sometimes, not even then.

Well, at least Stiles has enough sense to yank Scott away from the door. I mean, both of them do dumb things, but I think that Stiles has a little bit more sense in him then Scott.

Allison is standing outside of her house? I think? I don’t really know the places yet, only the characters. Pacing outside, and her phone goes off. It’s not Scott calling her, so who is it? Is Jackson her new side bae?

Oh, Scott blew Allison off on a date. Jackson is calling her, asking if she wants to go home. “I’m sure he’ll be here…” Yeah, he’s in the middle of a life-or-death situation right now, soo… You keep telling yourself that. Lydia agrees with me because he’s about a half an hour late (Jesus). Jackson and Lydia pick up Allison from the front of Scott’s house.

She ends the call because they’re already at his house - wait, why do Lydia and Jackson know where Scott lives? Didn’t they become friends with him only a few days ago? Stalkers. Oh, that’s actually Allison’s house. That makes sense.

“Is that his best explanation on why he’s a half a frickin hour late?” “…Not exactly.” What’s that supposed to mean?

We cut back to Scott and Stiles trying to exit the school. They ram themselves against the large push doors, but the camera cuts to reveal a gigantic rectangular dumpster blocking the way. So that’s what the Alpha werewolf was doing when he temporarily disappeared. It makes you wonder why Scott didn’t hear that, because I’d imagine moving one of those would make a hell of a lot of noise.

Stiles obstinately continues to push the door, even when Scott stops. It would make more sense for Scott to try and focus his power so that it might be possible for them to open the door, but okay give up.

“I’m not dying at school.” “We’re not going to die.” Realistically, yes, you would die. But this show needs to give you lots of saving graces because you’re incapable main characters.

“What are you doing? What does it want?” “Me.” Don’t get so full of yourself, Scott. I know you’re a new werewolf and all, and I could see how that would inflate your ego and everything, but you need to realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you, sweetie. :)

“Great. The psychotic werewolf is into teamwork. Great. That’s - that’s beautiful.” He’s not doing it by choice. If it gives him a power boost, why not take advantage of it, right?

Still, I did laugh.

They look out the windows and see the Alpha werewolf on the rooftop. It makes these weird snarling noises and crashes through the windows. That would hurt like a bitch in real life, just saying.

Damn, I mean I understand the thirst for the booty, but with how fast the Alpha werewolf is running, you’d think he’s never seen ass before in his life.

We cut to Allison, Lydia, and Jackson again. “What are we even doing here?” Shut up Jackson. Stop whining about everything.

“Meet me at the school. URGENT -Scott” When the fuck did Scott send that text message? I’ve heard of booty-dialing, but never booty-texting. I take that previous thirsty comment back. I understand now. A booty that can text is legendary.

“The school doors aren’t open this late.” “That one is.” Great. Thanks to your magical werewolf butt, your girlfriend to be and her friends have been put in grave danger. All of them are without weapons to defend themselves. Nice going, Scott.

“Do you want me to state the obvious?” “It looks like someone broke into the school.” “Want me to come with you?” Damn, he is basically slobbering over Allison now that he’s tired of Lydia. Calm your tittes, Douchebot, before your real girlfriend notices you eyeing up your side bae to much.

Allison, noting his thirst (and the inevitable wrath of Lydia of she were to accept the proposition), says, “No. I’m okay.”

“You almost look like you’re about to say ‘Be careful’.” “I am.” “That concerned look. I’ve never seen it before… Well, it’s a good look on you.” Damn, she is starting to ascend side bae status into actual bae status. Lydia notices this exchange and starts to get upset. She hates being side bae.

Hm, I wonder if the “being replaced by someone else” theme is going to extend to Lydia as well…

Regardless, Allison marches up to the school. At least this time, I can see when and where Allison got her flashlight from.

The door mysteriously creaks shut, despite being open for probably about twenty to thirty minutes now. You mean to tell me that there was previously a breeze unable to close the door until it’s dramatically appropriate, too? Sigh…

Meanwhile, Scott and Stiles scramble towards an escape. This time, they decide to “hide” behind a row of lockers. I’m guessing that the Alpha werewolf might just tip the other lockers on to them as well if their not bolted to the ground properly. Scott peaks around the lockers at the Alpha werewolf and then looks away, putting his best “I’m going to die, aren’t I?” look on his face. You’re the two main characters. They’ll kill or otherwise remove from the show everyone other than you two, so there’s nothing to be scared of.

He decides to conveniently leave them alone for no reason again. What is the purpose of him chasing them around if he’s just going to constantly herd them to places they can’t escape and then randomly kill other people for no reason?

Oh, shit. If he is following that formula, that means Allison is next.

So, they duck around the other side of lockers and exit the room. “We have to do something.” “What?” “I don’t know.” Brilliant. If you are going to state the obvious, at least follow it up with a decent plan.

The Alpha werewolf makes menacing noises while being out of sight. Then it slowly fades out so that they’ll think they will be safe for the time being. He’s going to do another jump-scare thing, isn’t he?

Or not. You can still hear him growling. Stiles pulls his keys out of his pocket. He’s going to throw them, isn’t he? But all that’s going to do is lure him to you? Unless, you’ve managed to concoct a plan within just a few seconds of saying you don’t know what to do.

Oh, so he just slams the door shut. How the fuck is he keeping that closed? Regular human + Enraged Alpha Werewolf = Dead Human. It’s simple math. Teen Wolf is really shitty at getting their characters out of problems with the abilities they actually have. Unless Stiles really is just a dormant supernatural creature…

Sweet Jesus those noises are scary.

Then we cut to Lydia and Jackson looking about nervously.

“Do you see that?” “See what?” “That hood on that piece of crap Jeep is looking crappier than usual.” How dare you insult the Jeep.

“Where are you going?” “Going to ensure my side bae becomes my real bae.” - Totally Jackson

“Do NOT leave me alone in the car.” “Fine. Don’t have a meltdown.” Did I ever mention that I hate Jackson? Because, I must say, I really do hate Jackson.

They both step out of the car to have a better look at the Jeep. Man, if they didn’t become main characters later, they would already be dead by now.

They spot claw marks on the inside of the Jeep. Jackson stretches out his hand and follows the claw marks with his fingertips.

Yes, Teen Wolf, you love obvious foreshadowing, we know, you love obvious foreshadowing so much, it’s the light of your life, you love it so much, you just love obvious foreshadowing, we KNOW, you love obvious foreshadowing, you fucking love obvious foreshadowing, okay, we know, we get it, YOU LOVE OBVIOUS FORESHADOWING. WE GET IT.

It’s only episode seven of season one and I am already exasperated enough to use an outdated tumblr meme.

It will only get worse from here.

“What are you doing? Are you getting Allison?” I thought maybe he was left thinking about the creature that almost clawed his neck and was backing away in disbelief. I guess he can keep his cool better than that, it seems.

We cut back to Scott and Stiles. Scott is slow on the pickup getting over the table. Make Shia proud. Just do it.

“Are you crazy?” “I just want to get a look at it. It’s trapped.” Man, you wish. It’s going to destroy both the door and the table really quick here. Just focus your energy on getting out of there while it’s still held at bay, okay? Scott knows what the creature looks like, so if he sees it, he’ll let you know.

“Well, I’m not scared of this thing.” It ripped the battery straight out of your beloved Jeep I think you really should be scared. I think it’s safe to assume that it takes less effort to snap a neck then to rip a car battery clean out of a car’s engine. Just saying.

The Alpha werewolf slams his palm against the window of the door and, surprised, Stiles fails and falls off the table. Why is that so cute?

“I’m not scared of you.” Ah, yes. Very convincing, seeing as you’ve spent almost half of this episode running away from him. I can probably safely assume you’re going to be doing more running pretty soon here.

“You’re not going anywhere.” You spoke too soon.

It sounds like the Alpha werewolf just launched himself through the fucking roof of the classroom and I guess he’s going to slam himself through the floor somehow to get to them, right? Fucking hell.

Yep. Right. Of course. s;ljdfsljhgalkjhflkhnaslkhgljsg;kljflfhrilhg

Scott and Stiles make their hasty escape, and then we cut to Allison. “Scott?” She questions, to no reply. In the background, the Alpha werewolf creeps at the end of the hallway. Giving up on Scott already? I mean, I don’t blame you. The Teen Wolf writers need to get the hint that Scott shouldn’t be the main character of this show.

I don’t even care who it is. At this point, I would even accept Jackson. Just, please, not Scott.

She is even facing the direction of the Alpha werewolf, of which the viewers can see! Why can’t she see him?

She keeps spinning around like an idiot. Look behind you!

She keeps calling for Scott, but she doesn’t answer. Just how big is this high school?

Then some dramatic establishment shots which are supposed to be creepy but they’re not really. We know she’s at the school. We already know it’s night time. We already know that it seems like nobody is here. Show us something that’s not intended to be dramatic filler.

“You know, I’m starting to have a problem with all of your functions.” Well then, why are you two still dating? All she has to do is go to the bathroom and you’re getting upset about it? What is wrong with you?

Jackson either hears something or is seeing something I am not because he says “McCall!… Scott?” Interesting how he changes to being fairly formal and impersonal to calling him by his first name when he becomes uncertain.

“…Derek?” The standing wolf I completely missed drops down to all fours. If I didn’t know that Jackson becomes an important character later on in the show, I’d think, “Yeah, he’s dead.”

Of course, it just walks down the other hallway and completely ignores Jackson. Oh, so now that you see it you think of the injury on the back of your neck and get freaked out.

We change scenes to Allison who is still wandering around, but this time, she is outside of the school.

Nevermind, she is at the school’s pool. Just how affluent is Beacon Hills? Damn, a pool at a public school. Unless that’s a normal thing for most high schools. Being as I’ve only attended one, I couldn’t tell you.

Well, with a whole bunch of supernaturals fucking shit up around Beacon Hills, I guess they really would need money to fix all the damages.

I wonder what significance that pipe with smoke pouring out of it has. It’s been shown twice, so you know it’s important.

Scott hears Allison’s phone going off. Finally. It took you so long to figure out where she was I was starting to think that you weren’t going to meet up until the next episode.

“What are you doing here?” “I’m here because you asked me to.” Yeah. Butt-texting. It’s a werewolf power you were previously unaware of.

And, as all our heroes gather into the lobby, the Alpha werewolf stomps around upstairs to announce his presence. He then breaks through the floor (cause he want that booty too much).

And, another chase scene. Surprise, surprise.

I thought those big double doors would be an exit. Nope, instead it’s another classroom. This is starting to become a lot like Mad Max, except with all the good parts removed.

Now everyone is stacking stuff against the door. You know, the Alpha werewolf can easily bust through the upstairs floors, so this is literally pointless. Just break the windows and get the hell out of there.

Stiles makes note of the windows, but not the note I would like him to.

Allison is on the verge of a breakdown. Stiles tells her that “someone killed the janitor”. Well, it’s not a lie…

“Who is it?” “It’s Derek. Derek Hale.” For Christ’s sake…

Even Stiles agrees with me. He doesn’t say anything, (because he can’t, obviously, that would fuck everything up) but his face explains it fairly clearly.

“And if we don’t get out of here right now… he’s going to kill us, too.” foiuhfwaihfauogasgdiljhohsiphgoiyhsoigt

“And if he’s dead, it doesn’t matter, right? Except if he’s not…” Just

Just

Just stop.

I know you didn’t get a chance to confirm if he’s dead or not, but that’s still bad. Incredibly bad. Just say you don’t know who he is and you didn’t get a good look at him but you saw the dead body of the janitor with fatal knife wounds and you’ve been chased around a while. It’s not that difficult Scott.

“And, I totally just bit her head off…” Of course. Some crazy Alpha werewolf guy is trying to recruit you into killing the entire male population of Beacon hills and your number one priority is Allison? Really? I know your future girlfriend is important to you and everything, but I would have to say that not dying should be your number one priority.

I lost my shit when Jackson called them Assheads. I figure that’ll be another nickname for him, because I think he acts more like an asshead than Scott or Stiles do.

Holy shit I think Stiles just punched Jackson in the face.

Hold on, let me rewatch that a couple of times for… Science. Yeah, science…

Also, on a more serious note, to confirm if Stiles did actually punch Jackson in the face. He whipped around super fast, so I wasn’t sure, but after rewatching, it was confirmed.

So, if Stiles was just going to call his dad anyway, why did he think it was necessary to punch Jackson in the face? Also, I’m pretty sure he only put three numbers in his phone before calling, so unless those ancient phones had speed-dial, not including area codes, I’m seeing a problem here.

And then the Alpha werewolf smashes himself through the doorway. *grandma voice* Destroying school property is incredibly disrespectful, young man!

More running… yay…

Ah, yes, the best place to go when you want to bankrupt a school is straight to one of the Chemistry labs so that the Alpha werewolf can destroy all the glass equipment in here. Brilliant. Just… brilliant.

That shitty chair is not going to hold that door closed… Just saying…

“You can’t go out there alone…” “Well, too fucking bad. That’s what I’m doing.” - Totally Scott.

What are you going to do with that shitty pointer thing? Randomly choose someone to go with you? Just take Stiles if you’re going to take anyone, honestly.

How would any highschool student know how to create a molotov cocktail? Where do you even get that kind information? Especially, where would any highschool student get the knowledge to create one of those? What the fuck?

I mean, I know this is a show about werewolves in highschool, but surrounding those werewolves with super geniuses with questionable information sources makes it even more unrealistic. Some may say, but you can’t make a story about werewolves realistic, and I’m thinking, yes, you can, providing you give everyone consistent knowledge bases and powers. Of which, I’ve heard, Teen Wolf doesn’t even try to do. So, in summary, fuck this, honestly.

“You’re a horrible liar and you’ve been lying all night” Okay, but how did you figure out his tell by spending less than a week with him? Out of what I can guess, since episode 1, it’s been less than a week. I mean, I know you’ve been spending almost every moment attached to his hip any everything, but you can’t know someone that well. Scott has an excuse because he’s a werewolf with super senses. You aren’t so you don’t.

Sweet lorby jeebus everyone is staring at you guys. Could you tone down your horn horn and move the plot along, please?

Then Allison turns to the window and says to herself, “When will my werewolf return from the skeleton war?”

This moment i supposed to be creepy and super-tension filled, but we already know the Alpha werewolf doesn’t want to kill Scott, so there’s no point in getting nervous.

He can hear your heartbeat and smell where you are, so trying to make your footsteps quiet holds no purpose, Scott.

Although, he does look kind of funny doing it. He could be comparable to a scared penguin when he goes down the stairs.

Just hurry up with the jumpscare already. I’m getting bored.

Don’t go under the bleachers, dumbass!

…Still waiting…

“Some sort of liquid falls onto the main character, and then they look up to see the creepy monster above them” cliche.

Oh, cliche averted. It was the dead body of the janitor instead. Well, I mean, you did kind of say you were looking for him earlier, so, there he is. There you go.

Jackson grabs Allison’s hands and says “It’s okay.” Lydia looks at them like she’s going to kill a bitch.

Then we suddenly cut back to Scott. Okay. That was abrupt and slightly jarring. What was the point of cutting away from Scott after the commercial break if you’re only going to show a few seconds of them?

Oh well. Whatever.

Scott’s hair may be a mess, but his booty is on fleek tho.

Scott has a lovely constipation face.

The bleachers are collapsing in and your main concern is the keys. I would understand that if you didn’t have a fucking self-lighting Molotov cocktail on the ground.

Oh, well, of course he gets out of there with the keys and the Molotov cocktail in perfect timing because of course that′s realistic.

“Are you sure you gave me sulfuric acid?… It won’t light without it.” Wouldn’t that be something you should have checked before Scott left? Just in case you needed to make him a new one if you made some sort of mistake?

Well, Scott, that tells me your “weapon” is a dud. Unless Derek has given you proficient werewolf training before this (which, I don’t think he had the time to before this happened), you’re dead, buddy.

Yep. All it did was shatter on his face.

The Alpha werewolf grabs Scott by the ankle and throws him, making him slide against the gym floor. Nyoom, nyoom, motherfucker.

Then, the Alpha werewolf (still in wolf form, mind you) clambers on top of Scott. Please don’t let this become some fucked up furry porn, PLEASE don’t let this become some fucked up furry porn…

And then, for literally no reason, the Alpha werewolf starts howling. All this does for our “human” characters is make them want to block their ears, but it causes Asshead.exe to stop working.

Also, it causes beta_werewolf.exe to malfunction as well. Where the hell did the Alpha werewolf go in the shot change of a few seconds? Is it just lurking in one of the corners of the gym? Give Scott space to wolf out properly?

Is it bad that I find it kind of hot to see Scott writhing and yelling in pain? Yeah? Okay, I’ll just… yeah…

Holy. Shit. When Scott first lifts his head, his eyes are red, then the colour lifts to yellow. I don’t know if the shitty screen quality is messing with the colours, also, but I’ll hunt for screenshots in better quality.

Hold on, I’ll take a screenshot so you can see for yourselves. (I wish I could make a gif, but the only easy way to do that is to pay for a program. I’m sorry, but I don’t even have 2 dollars on hand.)

I sort of got it but not really?

His eyes look pretty red if you ask me. But then they turn to yellow.

See? Isn’t that weird? It must be the “Twuew Apa” stuff showing up early… or something. I don’t believe this was properly explained when this show first aired. I can’t be the first person to notice this, and yet, I’m not seeing any commentary on it.

I don’t know if maybe the shitty resolution version I’m watching is bungling colours as well, so if any of you know, please say something.

Anyway, we cut back to see how asshead.exe is somehow “better” now. Yeah, if you really were fine, you wouldn’t be back in your defensive, cornered animal state.

Which, I must admit, is the one you’re pretty much in all the time.

More “creepy” establishing shots that we’ve already seen this episode. Literally the same ones you showed us before when Allison was alone. Yes, they feel alone and seperated from everything. We know.

You’re in wolf mode, the only possible time you could maybe fight back the Alpha, and your first instinct is to go back to your friends that have no idea you’re a werewolf? Really?

Well, I mean, I guess since Derek didn’t get Scott proper training, he is basically a loose canon full of werewolf hormones, so I guess I can’t really criticize him on decision making too much when he’s like this.

“As if you actually care.” I think she actually does care, you’re just too much of an asshole to see it.

Calm your heavy breathing before you hyperventilate. Geez…

Ah yes. Of course, since he’s near his anchor, he’ll be able to become human Scott again.

Actually he just runs off without opening the door? What?

“Listen? Do you hear that?” More banshee hints.

So, of course, when the police arrive, Scott is human again and anything other than the destruction of the school as evidence is gone. No dead bodies, no Alpha, no Derek Hale.

Scott tries to convince Sheriff Stlinski that Derek Hale is the killer, but they don’t have evidence other than eyewitness so they can’t do anything.

“It wants me in it’s PACK.” It would help if you didn’t yell important points about the supernatural world around you when there are cops everywhere investigating things… You know, just putting that out there.

“I have to get rid of my old pack… Allison, Jackson, Lydia… you.” You barely even know, Allison, Jackson or Lydia, so basically it’s really only Stiles. Stop talking like you’ve known Allison, Jackson and Lydia personally for years when you don’t.

Why does Stiles have to do that open mouth thing all the time when he’s upset? Does he know that it upsets me?

“The alpha doesn’t want to kill us…” “He wants me to do it.” Yeah. That’s why you have to find a way to outsmart him before he figures out a way to control you.

“That’s not the worst part… I wanted to do it. I wanted to kill you. All of you.” #justwerewolfthings

Stiles needs to stop doing the open mouth thing. It makes me want to kiss him every time he does it. Which is bad, because in his case, it’s an expression of being upset.

And, of course, before the episode ends, we need a lead up for the next. What will it be this time?

It’s Deaton, who mysteriously disappeared before the Alpha attacked last episode.

“How did you…” “From what they tell me, I’m alive because of you,” then, “I think I owe you a raise.” And almost chuckles a bit. As if that’s some kind of funny joke. What the hell, Deaton? What?

And then, an angsty breakup scene between Allison and Scott. “…Right now, I don’t think I can trust you.” You really shouldn’t and, hey, he did go through with his statement of his response to “Will I regret this?” “Probably.”

“Allison, I can explain -” “I don’t care.”

“Scott don’t - don’t call.” YOU USED TO, YOU USED TO CALL ME ON MY CELLPHONE, LATE AT NIGHT WHEN YOU NEED MY LOVE-

Sorry, was that I bad time to go into song?

Anyway, Allison and Scott break up and then we get credits.

Great.

I’m so exasperated I don’t have a proper afterword.

I guess I’ll see you next time for Episode 8, “Lunatic”.

Ugh, that’s a moon pun, isn’t it.