To my wife
@sinful-cyn We had a good time, one of us more than the other. I gave you all the love I could and even more, I loved you more than I could ever think about loving someone. But apparently it wasn’t enough for you. It was too much for you and I can understand you’re not ready to love like I am. You’re not ready to settle down and be true to our vows like I am. It took me a minute but now I realized I can’t make you into what I want, I can’t make you into a wife, you have to want to be that.
As much as I love and care about you, I just don’t know what it is that you want or how I can get passed the things you’ve done to me. It’s funny, I thought I wasn’t good enough to you or providing you with enough. I always felt like I didn’t have time for you, maybe that’s why you did what you did. I was stressing out over small things. If you needed a heart to survive, I would give you mine with no hesitation. If saving your life meant mine, I would do it because I know I would always be apart of you. I thought this letter would be corny or just a girl way to do shit. But it’s better this than seeing you in person and putting the fisticuffs onto you. I don’t want to be like scrappy and lay these paws on you…again. I was wrong for even grabbing you the way I did, I’m not perfect neither and I never pretended to be. We both have our flaws and we both could’ve did things better. I don’t fully blame you, but what I do know is that I would’ve never thought of doing something like that (both things) I’m pissed at how long you hid it and then decided to come out about it at a time like this. At my lowest point, when I feel like shit and less of a man for you and you go and prove that you felt that same way, by giving away what was mine.
When you said I do, it was bittersweet for me. It was the happiest day of my life but also the scariest. It finally sank in that I would be responsible for you and your feelings, I would be the one to have to make sure your body was always in tune and focused on mine. I blame myself for not being able to see this and getting too blinded by love. When you love someone you should be able to freely become yourself and open up and to be vulnerable without regrets. My only regret is not being able to please you or even make you see I was enough. But you played the role really well, I commend you for that, it was a game of chess, that I didn’t know I was playing, but you’ve won. Master of deceit, well done. I thank you for showing me what love should and shouldn’t feel like. Regardless I love you.
