#trustingyourself

Your life can drastically change in three months, and this is coming from someone who started last October unexpectedly in hospital everyday for three weeks, to then leave London and move back home and share a ROOM with my mom due to space issues and by the end of the whirlwind I finally got to move into my dream ocean view apartment in Europe. ALL WITHIN 3 MONTHS. How did I transform my life? What remained consistent was my inner voice, leading me towards faith and not fear. Being able to hear God’s direction and having the courage to take a leap into the unknown at each twist and turn. So no matter where you start this October, trust and know that miracles are possible, and if you stay true to where you are being guided you will end up exactly where you need to be. 

UNDERSTANDING WHAT VOICE IS GUIDING YOU…

Are you leaning into fear or into faith? Each day, are you sticking to what you know or are you taking risks? Are you using your voice to speak up when you’re usually quiet? Are you still remaining true to your vision despite not seeing the results in the 3D? Are you trying to control situations feeling anxious and stuck, or are you remaining trusting and faithful to the visions God has placed in your heart? If you find fear is guiding your life, your TRANSFORMATION is going to a struggle, there is going to be friction, and this is where you need to get out of your own way. God wants to move you somewhere you’ve never been, you’ve been doing your vision boards, affirmations, praying, reading, trying your very best to LEVEL-TF-UP, and STILL feeling stuck…and this is because your inner voice is holding you hostage to what you’ve known, to the old version of you, the expired version. These next 12 weeks are for tuning into a different frequency, to locking into God’s direction and here are the steps…

1] You need to meditate to create space in your mind to hear the voice that wants to lead you to your highest potential. It’s always there waiting for you to listen, in order to HEAR you need SPACE.. and to get space you need to meditate. The aim is 20 mins per day, if you’re already comfortable with this aim for 1 hour. I know this might sound like a scary amount of time to sit in silence but think how easily you can spend 20 mins on social media doom scrolling…Do you want to GLOW-UP or do you want to stay stuck? This is what you need to ask yourself daily…But please walk before you run, here is 10 mins meditation that is simple and transformative and will 100% allow you mental space so you can slowly throughout the day start to hear your inner voice - God speaking to you. 

2] Tune out of negativity (the news, low vibration music, gossip, scrolling through peoples highlight reel) and tune into high vibes… Listening to high vibes is going to move you energetically into a new space. There will be more peace and positivity. The high vibes include, morning motivation on YouTube find one that empowers you, cleansing your social media accounts of anything negative or deleting it full stop while you’re on your glow up journey. Listening to binaural beats, gospel, or anything that has empowering lyrics that lift you up. 

3] Once you have removed the low vibes you also want SILENT vibes, this means going for a walk without your phone. Waking up and not checking your phone for 1 hour, having as many moments of silence as possible, and this is when you will start to hear. You might hear negativity in your mind at first, it might be overbearing, the voice might be telling you how stupid you are, how pathetic you are, but PERSEVERE. Get curious on why you have this negativity in your mind, journal on what was coming up for you, you want to clear out the negativity so you can hear the inner wisdom that is waiting to flow in. 

4] PRAY FOR GUIDANCE. If you don’t have the direction, you are wanting to transform your life and don’t know what the next steps are, I promise you the moment you start praying and asking is the moment you receive the answers. It will come in the form of conversations, YouTube content creators will appear in your feed, you will have thoughts, dreams, a book will fall of a shelf, there will be direction from above. God wants to help you, you just have to ask and listen clearly for the answers. They will appear.

A little story time of my 3 month transformation from last October - December and how I completely transformed my life in that time…

not trusting your emotions around your period because what if it is just hormones?

not trusting your feelings and your body because what if you are just being hysterical because it’s “that time of the month”?

Let’s begin by recalling what trust is. These are quotes from the dictionary, friends, and myself. 

Trust /trəst/ noun.

a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

Trust means not second-guessing someone or something. 

It means being able to depend on the words and actions of someone else. 

Without trust, we are unable to open our minds and hearts to others. It is a beautiful thing and is so important to maintain. 

Trust can easily be broken and must be earned. 

Trust is falling asleep next to someone and not worrying that they'll judge your hair or morning breath when you wake up.

Trust is having absolutely zero invasive self-awareness, feeling no fear of judgement, allowing yourself to be your most unfiltered and unapologetic self.

Trust is total comfort. 

Trust is the foundation of healthy relationships. 

Trust is simply the faith that you have in something. 

Trust is easy. It's reliable. When all else fails, you have what/who you trust. 

Trust is letting go of every little worry in the world, and truly confiding everything in another person.

It's the best feeling in the world. 

Why this is important to me:

Recently I have found that I second guess myself more than I should. I’ve had this idea in my head that for some reason my thoughts and ideas are not as valid as other people’s because “I’m just not creative enough”, “I’m not funny enough”, or “I’m not smart enough” to share my thoughts. I have been internally and blindly degrading myself for no good reason. I do not trust my own voice. 

As a theatre major, I think it is important for me to trust my art, and trusting my art essentially means trusting myself. It is important that I can look at a scene or song, make choices, and stick with them. My mind races like crazy, and sometimes it’s difficult to believe that I’m making the right choices in my art and it is because I have a hard time trusting myself. I am terrified of interviews because I’m afraid of what I’ll say. I prefer texting to calling, and I prefer memorized scripts to improv because it feels safer and gives me more time to think. But life will not always give you a script or lots of time to answer. Sometimes you have to act impulsively. So I’ve started a journey of learning to trust my ideas, words, art, and opinions. I am tired of living a life full of fear.

Here are 5 ways that you can strengthen your self-trust:

1. Start with doing everything for YOU. 

Sharing your thoughts and opinions can be terrifying at first. What if someone doesn’t agree with you or doesn’t like what you said? First of all, let me just state right now that you will NEVER please everyone. There will always be someone who disagrees with you, and THAT IS OKAY. You are not here to make every single human being on this planet agree with what you have to say.  You must learn to let go of this idea.

I also want to point out, however, that when learning to trust yourself it is best to begin by doing so on your own. When I started this journey of self-trust, the first thing I did was start a journal. Whenever I had free time, was inspired, or was about to go to sleep, I would write in my journal, or on a google docs page. I would jot down everything that was going through my mind. I wrote about my day, things that I was grateful for, things that upset me, etc. To be honest, it felt kind of pointless at first. But then after a while, it became routine and almost meditative. It was amazing to read these journal entries back and learn more about the way I think, feel, and express myself in writing. It’s also very interesting to read your entries months later.

One of my struggles has been visualizing what I sound and look like to others. I’m trying to do a better job of blurring the line between what I am viewed as and how I think I am on the inside. A tip for this? VIDEO YOURSELF. Sometimes when I don’t feel like writing I’ll sit in front of my webcam and talk about my day. This is also something that has helped me appreciate my own sense of humor.

All of these forms of personal expression are special because no one has to see them. There are no rules. There are no expectations. It’s simply a time for you to connect with yourself, and that may be one of the most beautiful things that we are able to do.

2. Understand that you are one-of-a-kind. 

No one, and I mean NO ONE has your train of thought. Your thoughts are unique to you based on your own personal experiences, environments, opinions, and writing/speaking patterns. If you are scared that your poem, song, or idea is not special enough, you are wrong. Is everything that you create going to start a movement or become a top hit on iTunes? Nope. But everything that you create will be unique to you and only you. Isn’t that weird to think about? That you have this amazing power to CREATE and there will always be at least something different about the way you went about the work because YOUR THOUGHTS ARE UNIQUE TO YOU. 

3.  Let go of your fear of failure.

There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to expressing yourself. I mean, of course, be respectful of others. Do not murder someone and say that it’s art because you are “expressing your feelings”. That’s just common courtesy. What I’m trying to get at, is that once you let go of this idea of perfectionism, that is when you will begin to flourish.  As I mentioned before, not everything that you create or say is going to be ground-breaking. Sometimes it takes hundreds, thousands, hundreds of thousands of tries to spread the message that you want to spread, to develop the invention that you have imagined, or to get the feedback that you have been hoping for. It is okay to fail. It is okay to fail. It is OKAY to fail. 

4. Trick yourself into believing in yourself.

It’s important to understand that confidence can be worked on from the outside in. Appearing confident and believing that you are confident in yourself can trick your mind into actually being confident. Do you think that every famous writer, artist, or Youtuber, has been 100% sure of themselves every time they have posted something? The answer is no. Even though they seem really confident right? 

That’s the point. 

5. Do not express yourself for validation. Express yourself to share.

Write a song about something that happened to you. It doesn’t even have to rhyme. Make a Youtube video about something that’s on your mind. You don’t have to have millions of followers for it to matter.

Once you are able to share with others with the same confidence that you journal with, you will open up doors that you didn’t know existed. You’ll see yourself in a different light. Others will see you for who you really are. That may sound intimidating, but the best and most honest way to be remembered is to be remembered as the purest form of who you are, not as a copy or idea of someone else. 

Tell the world what you think.

Share your thoughts. Yell them from the rooftops. Your opinions are valid. 

Now go back and read the definitions of trust. Can you say you trust yourself?

Your daily schedule should align with the type of life you are dreaming of, that you are praying for, that you are manifesting. You may not have everything you desire right this second, like the relationship or the money, but you can still embody the emotions of love, wealth, security. If your daily / weekly schedule is a mess, out of alignment, fills you with stress, I urge you to pause. Re-assess. Re-prioritise. Re-create.