Normal twitter posts of the people of the Philippines in an AU where the Ripper of Roxas Boulevard exists.
"I just want to start a health journey by jogging every morning. You won't guess what I saw along Roxas Boulevard!! On my first day of jogging!!!! 😭"
"Did you touch it out of curiousity?"
"Certified manilenyo/cavitenyo experience."
"It's more fun in the Philippines."
"I'm sorry, why jog along Roxas Boulevard in the first place?? 😅"
"Bawal ba? I didn't know, I'm from Cebu. Ganito ba talaga kayo here?"
"Does the Ripper do nosy neighbors? Or is it just really politicians?"
"FR. Like, marami akong suggestions."
Manila Bulletin: "International Quiz Bee champion, Joven Hernandez, thanks the Ripper of Roxas Boulevard for his victory. —if not for the years of killing, I wouldn’t know the spelling of the word Tableau—"
"Osmeña Boulevard vs Roxas Boulevard, go."
"Similarities, named after sa mga gwapo."
"So far, nobody's leaving bloody high school art projects around Osmeña Fuente Circle. Sorry, Cebu wins this round."
"Excuse me??? Are you calling the Ripper art high school???? You don't understand art. You don't see the expression, the message, the philosophical value of—"
"Na reach ang max words, te."
"As a Davaoeño, I choose Roxas Boulevard. It's full of dramatic energy."
"Lami ang mango cocktail diri sa Osmeña dzae."
"Mas masarap ang kwek kwek sa roxas blvd."
"Ayoko sa Roxas boulevard. Bukod sa kwek kwek, may iba pa kayong tinutuhog dyan."
"Napansin nyo ba na yung Ripper murder tableau parang classic Filipino arts yung vibe?"
*shows zoomed in pic of Andoy using dslr from prev post."
"Uy ang hottie. Who that?"
"NBI agent Andres Bonifacio, documents controller, evidence commitee. Omg detective catch me po huhu."
"But true, have you guys noticed na when sometimes biblical events ang tableau, politically important ang na-dedo. And with clear public crime. Na para bang may dalawang Ripper dahil sa magkaibang POI and art style."
"OMG agent bonifacio is here, too"
*shows zoomed pic of andoy in tucked in white dress shirt and red tie, arms crossed while looking at the tableau.*
"Yey, wala nanamang pasok sa Silang. May naka display nanaman sa boulevard."
"Oh, okay. But we don't know who died yet. Still waiting for Dimasalang article."
"Do you think I can contact Dimasalang? I want to share more crimes that my dad did."
"PAKISABI SA TATAY MO SALAMAT WALA KAMING PASOK MIDTERMS NAMIN NGAYON."
"The only useful he's ever been as a politician."
"I'm sorry, ganito ba talaga kayo sa etivac?"