Here's a classic Trollmegle log, brought to you by Jargon Scott and the Precious Roy Home Shopping Network
â–²: My name is Jargon Scott!
â–¼: cool where are you from?
â–²: I'm from the 1960's!
â–¼: how are you still talking to me?
â–²: Timey wimey bullshit!
â–²: Now that the introduction is out of the way, I have a proposition for you, amigo.
â–¼: aren't you like 50 now?
â–²: Shhh, no words now, only sales pitches.
â–²: *Places a sleazy finger to your lips*
â–²: Now, I have some legless dogs I have to sell.
â–²: How many can I put you down for? Fifty? Sixty?
â–¼: what are you even talking about?
â–²: I'm talking about the Precious Roy Home Shopping Network!
â–²: We recently found an extra pallet of legless dogs, so we're bringing them to you at nearly half the original cost!
â–²: Hear me out here buddy!
â–²: They make excellent throw pillows!
â–¼: i don't buy stuff from you guys
â–¼: because i feel like your going to rip me off
â–¼: wait, throw pillows?
â–²: I'm trying to do the opposite of rip you off, amigaduke.
â–²: These things come at a premium!
â–²: You never have to walk 'em!
â–²: They're like furry sausages!
â–¼: hey thats pretty cool
â–¼: walking dogs can be boring
â–²: Don't worry about the price! We accept all major credit cards and most internal organs!
â–¼: but i kinda want to know the price of what im buying
â–¼: you know, because i dont want to spend a shit ton on it
â–²: Price should not be an issue when we've got these
â–²: on the market for your right now!
â–²: I'm gonna put you down for a hundred!
â–¼: no! don't do that! i didnt even say i was going to buy them!
â–²: It's alright buddy! They are great toys for children!
â–²: You purchase these dogs and I will throw in a bag of assorted legs free of charge!
â–¼: sorry, but i'm going to have to decline your offer though, i don't really need any legless dogs at the moment
â–²: I can cut you a deal here.
â–²: You buy 10 legless dogs and I will throw in a stacking kit for free.
â–²: Normally they only stack 5 high, but with this kit you can get 'em up to 50 in the air!
â–¼: wow, well, thats a really great deal. i mean if they usually onl-
â–¼: no wait youre trying to persuade me more
â–¼: no thanks mister i need to hang out with my friend
â–²: Hey buddy I'm just trying to get you the best deal I can!
â–²: They make great gifts!
â–²: How happy would your friend be if you gave him 25 legless dogs, complete with stacking kit and pirate crippler?
â–¼: uhh.. i don't really think dave wants that kind of stuff..
â–²: Hey chumbutt, I was just talking to Dave not one hour ago! He was ecstatic about these dogs!
â–¼: yeah well why didn't he just buy it then?
â–²: But if you show up with 150 legless dogs just for him, he might actually break out in a smile!
â–¼: hey buddy your REALLY pushing it
â–²: Hey chumigo, I can get you these 150, the stacking kit, the bag of legs, and the pirate crippler for the low low price of 250,000 boonbucks!
â–²: Keep in mind you're saving several hundred thousand because of our big backload right now!
â–²: Buddy! Buddy! Hear me out!
â–²: They don't struggle when you beat 'em!
â–²: Most of them don't even have teeth!
â–¼: thats animal abuse to beat a dog
â–²: They're not animals! They're legless dogs!
â–¼: what are you talking about? even if they don't have legs their still animals!
â–²: Hear me out, Brosiden!
â–²: You sign a 2-year contract for these dogs and I can lower the price to 100,000!
â–¼: sorry sir, but i cannot accept that
â–¼: please bug someone else for your legless dogs
â–²: Chumaduke! Buddimigo! Amigami!
â–²: I just want to get you the best deal you can get on these
â–¼: ..okay that was really creepy
â–²: *Grabs you by the shoulders. You can feel the sleaze leaking off him.*
â–²: Just five dogs. Five. Come on, be a pal.
â–¼: *Shrugs away from the man, trying to brush him off*
â–²: John. Be a chumpal. A palfriend. A buddybuddychumpalfriendamigo.
â–¼: i don't even know you! now leave me alone!
â–²: I just want you to walk out this door with some
â–¼: no man, you're really creeping me out!