#trivial data

When you genuinely care about someone, you tend to memorise even the most insignificant details about that person. That’s why you never forget the birthday of those you love: your memory simply does not allow you to do it.   What all those people meant to you in the past is something you are not allowed to delete, no matter how hard you try.   Even when love/romance is over, those tinny bits of information remain there, stored on a distant corner of your mind.   That’s why I still remember the birthdays of several ex-girlfriends that I don’t even talk to anymore: March 3rd (two of them, actually), May 21 st, August 31st, November 18th, November 28th. I may not call or send them a message on any of those days... but I still remember. I really do. And I remember because, one day, those days were important - meaningful - to me. And my memory does not allow me to forget what my heart no longer recalls: I felt something deeper for all those girls, even the very one who end up becoming my Nemesis.   It’s not just the birthdays. I remember random details about all of them. I remember because I used to care, because I loved them - or, back then, at least I thought so.   And this leads me to a very hard pill to swallow: if your crush or your partner forgets your birthday - or any other remotely meaningful information -, then they don’t love you. They don’t care about you. If they claim, hand in heart, that they love you, then they’re lying. Don’t blame poor memory, don’t blame stress, don’t blame anything else - if they cared, you would have remembered.   That’s how I know what I really mean - or meant - to someone.   I don’t celebrate my birthday, but I realized that noticing those who remember it is a good way of knowing those who really care about you and those who don’t. And, believe me, I really pay attention to those small things. And, in the same way I never forget those I cared about, I never forget those who were disrespectful to me. And being inadvertently disrespectful can be even more offensive than simply being offensive by the sake of being offensive.   The devil is in the details. All trivial things matter, for nothing is actually trivial.   And, please, remember: to love is to remember. If people forget about trivial matters, they will forget you sooner or later - probably, they will even forget to tell you about it, and you shall only notice when you realize they have ghosted you.