#trinity x reader

whoever said that the last hour of a twelve-hour shift was a marathon and not a sprint was a hundred percent right. the day had been a mess–it usually was, but today it had been a little bit worse–you had had a lot of back-to-back traumas, a twenty-car pile-up in the highway during peak traffic time had you all pretty busy and with zero chance to take a break longer than two or three minutes

you looked down to the smartwatch that sat on your left wrist to check the time, 8:23 pm. you sighed, closing your eyes and throwing your head back, right hand coming up to apply a small amount of pressure in the back of your neck. thank god you were off tomorrow, you didn’t know how you’d get out of bed at five in the morning after the mess of a week you had had

“i think i’m screwed” you blurted out to samira

she looked up from her chart, pulling an airpod from her ear, “what?”

“i said, i think i’m screwed,” you repeated, voice lower. she looked at you with a confused expression, “i think i’m in love with trinity”

samira raised an eyebrow before her face twisted into an even more confused mess, “what?” you pursed your lips to the side, trying to not roll your eyes. “i thought you two had been dating for like three months”

that made you roll your eyes, “six” you corrected her without thinking twice “and yes, sami, we are” you let out a breath before saying, “i just–i think–no, i know i’m really like– in love with her. and it’s–it freaks me out a bit” you shivered

she let out a snort before covering her mouth, “you are your father’s daughter” you shook her head

“what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“oh my god, bee, you are your father’s daughter,” she repeated with a small chuckle, “that girl loves you too. i’m sure she’d ask you to move in with her if she didn’t have whitaker already at her apartment”

“do you think so?” you asked, biting your lip

“i know so, bee” she sighed, “now, get back to your charting. you might want to go home with your girlfriend”

“she’s literally stuck here because she’s way behind on her charting. i finished mine and logged out half an hour ago” you gave her a small smile

she let out a sigh again, this time a deeper one. “you have no idea how much i hate you right now”

you shook your head with a small smile, “no, you don’t. you love me”

  ★ – ★ – ★ – ★ – ★ – ★ – ★ – ★ – ★ – ★ – ★ – ★

talking, drinking beers, and eating takeout in bed with your girlfriend was the perfect way of spending a friday night. trinity had been rambling about a show she had been watching with whitaker for at least twenty minutes, but you had lost track of the conversation once your sight set on trin’s hand around the beer bottle. she had really nice hands. you couldn’t help but think how her hands softly hold your waist in the early mornings as you made breakfast together, or how her hands softly hold your face when you kiss, or how her hands feel when they made their way into your hair as you are making out in your bed or hers or your couch, or how her hands feel when they–

hey, her voice sounded distant, bee? are you okay?

“huh?” you snapped out, “yeah, yeah. you were saying?”

she let out a chuckle, “were you staring at my hands, bee?”

you felt the blood rushing to the back of your neck, “what?”

“are you blushin’?”

“i don’t blush” you scoffed and she bit back a laugh with a cocky smirk on her face

“you are just too fuckin’ cute” her left hand started softly caressing your cheek. you leaned into her touch with a small satisfied smile, “come here”

you leaned forward, connecting your lips with hers in a soft kiss. your eyes fluttered shut at the contact, and the hand that wasn’t on your face flew straight to your waist to pull you in close to her. you could taste the mix of beer and thai food on her lips, letting out a soft breath of contentment that made her smile into the kiss

your fingers combed through her hair, pulling her even closer. she softly pulled you back, lying you down on the bed to lay next to you. you were tangled, legs thrown one over the other. her hands moved to your waist, bunching up the oversized shirt you were wearing and you sighed, giving her the opportunity to deepen the kiss

you turned around a bit so you could be on top of her and she took the opportunity to slowly slide up one hand until it touched the underside of one of your breasts, “fuck” you sighed, throwing your head back and pulling away from her mouth in the process as her other hand slowly traced your spine under your shirt

“you are so beautiful” she whispered against your neck as she pressed open mouth kisses. she nipped gently on the side of your throat and you let out a quiet moan “you’re not too bad yourself” that made trinity bite your neck and you doubled back in laughter as she started tickling your sides. you leaned back and looked at her relaxed expression, brushing a strand of hair away from her face

your heart felt like it was seconds away from bursting through your chest 

  ★ – ★ – ★ – ★ – ★ – ★ – ★ – ★ – ★ – ★ – ★ – ★

“did you know my dad is dating noelle? like nurse hastings, noelle” you said, mouth half full with a chocolate chip cookie sitting on top of her kitchen counter. your shift had been horrible. there had been an accident on the high way that left two dead patients, a mother and a son. so trinity was baking you cookies to cheer you up

“what!? really!?” she turned around to look at you, hands rolling a ball of cookie dough

“mhm. apparently, they have been going out for a while.” you said, eating the rest of the cookie in your hand, “he wants me to have dinner with them next week.” trinity lifted her eyebrows, “i had to say yes. i think they’re going steady”

“well, if he wants you to have dinner with her i’d think so, too” she cleaned the crumbs off your cheek, her other hand on your thigh. you leaned forward, giving her a quick kiss

“trin, these cookies are really good,” you mumbled against her lips, making her smile and peck your lip. the hand on your cheek rubbed it softly and you wrapped your legs around her to push her into you. your mouths were moving in tandem when you bit her lower lip, making her groan and giving you the opportunity to deepen the kiss. trinity ran her hands up and down your thighs, playing with the hem of your sleep shorts. you broke away from the kiss to quietly murmur, “trin, denni–” she cut you off with another kiss

“why do you wanna talk about whitaker right now?” she mumbled against your lips before softly biting the lower one

you hummed and shrugged your shoulders before softly grabbing her cheeks and pulling her in to keep kissing her. you made a small noise against her mouth when her hands run up to the side of your ass and she kissed you again, a bit rougher this time. “i love you” you murmur before you could think twice making her suddenly stop, “oh god, i’m sorry, trin”

you look at her and see a grin slowly creeping up her face, her pupils blown wide, black almost swallowing the green entirely. “i love you too, bee.” she said before pressing his lips against yours back again. the both of you smiled into the kiss, and your arm wrapped against her shoulders to play with her hair. she set her hands on the hem of your shirt, sliding it up to take it off you, leaving you in your shorts and sports bra

you kept kissing, too focused on the feel of her lips against yours to really register anything else happening around you. “what smells so goo–oh my god!” dennis’ high pitched voice came from the door. trinity and you pulled apart, you pursed your lips to avoid letting out the laugh you were holding back and squeezed your eyes shut as trinity pressed her forehead to your chest, groaning, “what the hell fuckleberry!? get out!”

“ye-yeah, yes. i’m sor–i’m sorry! i’m leaving” the door shut close behind him, making you snort before doubling over in laughter

“oh my–oh my god” you were laughing so hard, tears were forming in your eyes 

“bee, stop laughing!” you shook your head, laughs still tumbling out of your lips, “fuckin’ fuckleberry”

you sighed, a last small laugh leaving your lips before you took her face on your hands, tilting it up so you could look her straight in her eyes before saying, “move in with me”

“what?”

“move in with me, trin” you said, “we practically live together, anyways. and huckleberry won’t be that far away” she huffed a laugh, “have you ever stopped to think that he’s like our kid?”

she nodded, a chuckle escaping her lips “yes, he is” she licked her lips and you saw as her eyes turned softer. “i’d love to”

you nodded before kissing her, “i love you, bug”

And so, her college years were spent trying to decipher the tone of her personality that people responded best to. Sometimes she was too bright. Too happy for someone who had just failed an exam or spoke too much for an acquaintance who had just worked a 10-hour shift and just wanted to go home. Other times, she was too withdrawn. Not getting a word in during chitchats and only offering nods as responses. It had taken a while, but by the time she got to med school, Mel had thought she’d perfected how to get people to like her. Had spun her own self-reliance to support her through networking and getting close with the other students. She had felt somewhat comfortable in her skin. Enough to where it didn’t feel like she was lying anymore when she had to keep the volume of her voice in check when she got excited or restrained herself from reaching for someone when she was talking at them. 

Until she came to the stunning realization that she was horrible at asking for help. 

Even when she needed it, it would take multiple repetitions of what to say and a few minutes of pacing in her own mind before chalking up enough courage to ask for what she wanted. Becca’s sudden dependence on her during that point in her life didn’t help, either. Mel always had to know precisely what to do. She hated being seen as incapable, and outright expressing the fact that she was missing pieces of information gave that impression. It didn’t matter to whom. Mel would go through every possible option before caving to that humiliating feeling in her stomach that made her brain blare: WRONG WRONG WRONG, and caused her improved esteem to spiral slightly.

It clung to her even when she began her residency.

It was also why she probably fell in love with you after one week. That you never made her ask for things. That you simply just knew. A strange aspect for Mel to consider, that you understood her that well, since she’d been one for the facts ever since she was little and learned how to read. Sure, it wasn’t the only reason Mel became so enamoured (another poor habit that arose with anything or anyone that made her feel seen), but it was the first step. 

You were Mel’s nurse. The only one that made oxygen easier to get in and out whenever she was attempting new procedures or was under immense stress from patients’ loved ones. She needed you because you were the first person she knew who didn’t make her feel ashamed to not have that cutthroat certainty so many demanded from her.

Mel was unmistakably vulnerable around you. 

And that was originally going to be enough for her. Simply being able to exist with you in her life while being able to be her most authentic self. Enough to see you every day and to speak about what seemed to be the stupidest things that actually meant everything to Mel. As long as everything stayed the same between the two of you, Mel would be happy. Even if she wished, in moments after shifts where you would be curled up together on the couch in her apartment, that she could kiss you senseless. 

Everyone at the PTMC knew about it–the affection that Mel held for you. Trinity was the first to get fed up with it, though.

Always in the same scenarios of the three of you sitting around a counter together or working a case: always you walking away first and watching hearts replace Mel’s eyes as you left. Always watching you. 

“You like her?” Trinity had asked one day, her chin jerking in your direction as you’d headed off to find Dana for something. Mel hadn’t responded for a moment, her head still craned to watch you go as her elbows rested on the counter, fingers tangled together. “Mel.”

The blonde did a small double-take before snapping her head back over to her junior, eyes wide. Trinity had copied the expression with a tiny shake of her head. 

“You like her.” A statement this time. It made Mel’s thick brows furrow as her mouth opened like she was going to deny it. Trinity knew she wouldn’t, though. Because Mel hated lying. Still, if Trinity maybe knew her on the same level you did, she would guess that that was the face Mel made when she was thinking about creating a fib. 

“Well, I– Yes, I do like her. It’s hard not to because she’s a very good friend–”

Trinity had cut her off with a long groan and a roll of her eyes. It had been late into their shift, and exhaustion was catching up to her, weighing on her mind and making it difficult to remember the little things for her patients. “You guys are not just friends,” Trinity had pointed out. Mel had done that same weird mouth thing again as her olive colored eyes fell to where her hands were clasped. A sign she was uncomfortable, as Trinity had learned over the past few months. And while Mel could be a bit much for her at times, Trinity did enjoy having her around. “She likes you too,” she’d offered, softening her tone as she kept her eyes on Mel’s face. 

Had watched as the other woman’s eyelashes fluttered before she looked back up, the corners of her mouth lifting. “Really?” And that tone of voice was so stupidly hopeful that it had made Trinity cringe just enough to actually fight another eye roll. “Did she tell you?”

And because, unlike Mel, Trinity is not above lying, and actually has eyes, she’d responded: “Yeah.” As soon as the word had left her mouth, Trinity thought that Mel was going to start hyperventilating out of excitement with the way her cheeks had gotten all red and her smile looked too wide to be natural and her hands twisted together. “Ask her out so I don’t have to watch what actual pining looks like.”

So Mel did.

And everything had been perfect after that.

Mostly.

The only issue, after having gotten past the hurdle of being emotionally intimate, was the physical intimacy. Mel wasn’t a virgin; she’d kissed her fair share of people, and even if she didn’t get those sexual urges that often, she still knew what to do to feel good. Even if the concept sometimes made her feel a bit uneasy, she was still human, and ovulation did happen to come around once a month. But during those years she’d attempted to fix her confidence, Mel had neglected the actions to back it up. 

What she should’ve done in hindsight is talk to you. Express all of her worries and communicate that all she wants is to go slow and for you to tell her what you want. What you want her to give you, because Mel would give you anything as long as you loved her. Except that lump kept catching in her throat–that fear that she would screw up something so sacred between two individuals and that you would view her differently after. 

Only one other thing had worked before, which is why Trinity is the person Mel asks for assistance. 

“You’re gonna have to figure out what strap is gonna work best for y’Mel,” Trinity mumbles as her hands trace from gripping over your sides to settle over your hips. It’s only to pull you back further on the dildo, your toes curling the comforter from the stretch that’s still intense even after Mel worked you to two orgasms. One with Trinity’s hand on her wrist and her fingers pinching at your clit, and the other with Mel curling them with that same pace she’d been shown. The drag of faux veins as the silicone slowly buries itself into your pussy makes you whine loudly, fingernails digging into Mel’s hips like you’re trying to prevent yourself from being forced to take more. You’re whining too. Loudly.

Mel shushes you gently like an owner with a fussy pet as her hand strokes over your hair, your face pressed against her stomach. Her eyes remain on the way your skin gives against Trinity’s grasp, the other woman’s lips pressing together as she tugs you back until there’s the soft clap of skin meeting. And another squeal from you as you ease more weight from your upper half into Mel’s lap.

It had been too long since you’d been fucked. Mel would never take anything further than grinding sessions, you humping her thigh more often than not, which you didn’t mind–but you’d missed the feeling of being full. Of being stuffed with a heavy weight that forced your mind to only focus on reaching a release, and for you to be so turned on that you swelled around whatever was inside of you. Preferably, you would’ve rather had Mel between your legs, but you knew her. Knew that she was a visual learner more than anything else and that this would make her feel better in the long run. Plus, with your face pressed against her, all you could smell was her. Your eyes were forced shut, mouth open and panting into the fabric of her t-shirt, pretending that it was her bullying her strap into your cunt.

“I mean, I’ve been doing some research,” you distantly hear Mel say as the soothing pets over your head continue. Your grip on her loosens as you feel yourself begin to adjust, heavy breaths turning into a full-blown moan as your back arches, finally pushing back against Trinity instead of having her pull you. “But I’m not quite sure what her favorite type of intercourse would be yet.” And you can hear the eyebrow furrow in her tone even as you try to shift your hips back to fuck yourself. “She really loves intimacy, and I don’t want to be too rough with her–”

Mel’s cut off by a muffled yelp from you as Trinity’s hand meets your ass, the sound of the slap making Mel blink. Her first instinct is to push Trinity away from you. To gather you up in her arms and comfort you. But then, you’re nuzzling your hips back again, like you’re desperate for more of that kind of handling.

“‘Kay, well, she’s obviously impatient,” Trinity huffs as she returns to that firm grip on your hips, pulling out just so the tip is still inside of you, the drag making you shudder. You’re already sensitive, both from your previous highs and after not being fucked in so long, so the drag over your walls makes your thighs shudder. “So figure it out after I make her cum.”

Mel tenses against you as Trinity sinks back into your cunt, another sound escaping your throat as even the smallest movements ricochet pleasure throughout your body.

“If you get too in your head since, y’know, that’s kind of your specialty,” she continues as her hips roll in another slow thrust, making a wet noise resound from where you’re coupled with her and your walls to clench around the strap even harder. “You can wait for her to get worked up and start backing up on you.” Trinity sounds breathy, movements of her cock becoming a bit more shallow–deeper. Nuzzling against one spot inside of you that has you drooling against Mel’s shirt. 

You’re the only one that’s naked, the other two still having clothing on their upper half, with Mel in sweatpants and Trinity in her boxers. The subtle reminder of fabric against your face warming has another rush of pleasure coursing through your veins, making your clit throb as you arch your back to try and press it against Trinity whenever she does those grinds of the strap into you. 

“Mhm, like that,” Trinity mumbles, one hand leaving your hips to trail down your spine before giving your ass another tap. Lighter than the first one, but still enough to have you gushing around her. Shakily, you let go of Mel, opting to press your palms into the mattress on either side of her thighs to lift your upper half, trying to look back at Trinity.

“More–”

Her hand comes down again, making your head drop with a long moan as Trinity fucks into you hard enough to have you falling against Mel again.

“This isn’t about you,” Trinity huffs as she moves to tangle those same fingers in your hair, tugging you up for Mel’s wide eyes to come into view. The sight of your girlfriend, so stunned with flushed cheeks and slow breaths coming from her parted lips, makes you whine. “Mel’s spoiled you too much.”

“It’s not–” 

The movements of the strap inside of you, coupled with Mel being in your vision while trying to object to Trinity’s words, has your brain going numb. That, and the fact that they’re talking about you like you’re not even there. 

“But it is,” Trinity chuckles, releasing your hair as Mel’s eyes flick from your face to the other woman. “None of my business, obviously, but if you ever wanna try to fix that, her G-spot is right up by her cervix.” 

That makes Mel’s mouth snap shut, a huff leaving her nose as a pout forms on her lips. The reaction pulls another laugh from Trinity as her pace finally evens out, probably finally working towards pushing you over the edge. “I don’t blame you,” she continues, batting Mel’s hands away from your head so she can curl her fingers around the base of your throat. You yelp as your upper half is pulled back to Trinity’s chest, tits bouncing slightly as the angle makes her thrusts feel deep enough to have you gushing. “Think it would be easy to spoil you. Yeah? Mm, yeah, you’re pretty.”

Hands are all over you. On your nipples, over your trachea, on your cheeks– You’re being hauled away from Trinity as Mel frowns at the other woman, settling you back into her lap. “You’re not kissing her.”

Right there– You’re right there. Not that either of them seems to care anymore, caught in whatever kind of staring battle they have going on as the noises leaving you get higher and higher–

“Relax, Melgisterial, let me teach you for once,” Trinity mumbles as that frown remains glued on Mel’s face. “One kiss isn’t gonna make her fall in love with me.” But the way she says it makes it feel like there’s something underlying. Something like: she will if I keep fucking her like this. Weakly, you paw at Mel’s stomach before reaching for her shoulder as words that you think aren’t even really words babble from your lips. 

Her fingers return to your face, squishing your cheeks together with one hand as she leans down to kiss you, tongue forcing its way into your mouth quickly. Much harsher than she’s ever been with you before, and it has you cumming. Body tensing as stars bloom behind your eyelids.

The emergency department was busy, the halls chattered with noise, beeping, the electronic hum, and the sound of shoes against the floor. It was an unrelenting and unpredictable place to be. Today was like no other, though she handled each patient promptly, bouncing between tasks. There had already been one man in rainbow-printed overalls who had his friends bring him in, for alcohol poisoning. It was quite amusing, since Pride Month had only just begun that week. Trinity remembered the parade was today and pulled out her phone to shoot you a quick text.

Have fun today. Be safe.

Y/N had liked the message almost instantaneously, which made Trinity smile slightly. Y/N then promptly sends a selfie of herself smiling big and posing with her friends. This made the smile grow slightly bigger, before she caught herself smiling at her phone at work like a dork- she tucked her phone back into her pocket- and perfect timing too. She had been whisked away onto the next task and onto the next patient. It seemed to never end.

The next few hours were a rush, and it seemed to get busier when an accident was called in. She readied herself for the rush- the exhausting and tedious job that she loved to do so much. Trinity overheard the details as Dana explained the situation to Robby. "Elderly driver had a seizure while driving, only a handful injured, ambulances will be rolling in any minute," she says.

"Hopefully no one's hurt too bad," Dennis says, appearing by Trinity. She was startled, but kept her composure. "What a fun way to announce your presence," she teases. "Don't scare me like that, Huckleberry, Jesus." She laughs. "Not my fault, your mind is somewhere else lately," he pressed. Playful teasing is ever-present with her roommate. "Ha. "ha." Ha," she said in a stark, sarcastic tone, punching him in the arm. "Looks like it's go time."

The automatic doors to the ED opened quickly, and the EMTs began rushing in. Trinity was there, quickly, rushing by the patient's side. She guessed it was the driver, an elderly woman with curly white hair and a bloody nose. The EMTs had explained the situation, giving all the vital information, mental status, and current injuries. This case would be interesting to say the least. Trinity stayed one step ahead, her quick-witted thinking aiding her through care. She'd need to know the cause of the seizures; possibly, something neurological other than old age was at play. She ran down the list and did what she does best- saving people. Even if she wouldn't admit it.

While she was busy with the patient, some time had passed, and when she had stabilized the woman and discarded her gloves, she exited the room. She felt like a deer surrounded by hunters. Everyone seemed to be whispering about her behind her back all at once- though it was an unrealistic anxiety to have. Dennis was standing by Dana and Robby, who immediately approached her with caution- that forcibly relaxed body language he only used when he would have to tell a patient's family bad news. She felt like shaking, running away, but she instead promptly allowed Robby to approach her.

"Dr. Santos, let's chat privately," he said, ushering her towards the hall. The prying eyes seemed to follow her. Her heart sank in her chest, and she prepared for a bullet wound she'd never recover from. If you prepare for the worst, then anything else isn't so bad. She locked eyes desperately with Dennis, as if to say, "What the Fuck?" but he held his head low and avoided her eyes.

She folded her arms in front of the attending, and Robby began with a sharp exhale. "Listen," he says gently. "It's come to my attention that someone... close. To you, has been hurt in the accident." Trinity shook her head as if in disbelief, and then it clicked. The way he says Y/N's name is haunting. Trinity's worst fear has come true. "I wanted to tell you so you didn't panic when you walked past the OR," he says quickly. "Let's be professional about this- if you need to take a walk, then we can manage without you," he offers.

"What are you talking about?" she says in a flat tone. "Is she okay?" Her voice falters, tears are welling in her eyes- but she chokes them back. "Robby, is she okay?!" She demands again, louder. Robby's head is low. "She has several broken bones, and she's likely concussed; we don't know how bad. We'll have to wait and monitor recovery."

Trinity shook her head. "Why didn't you tell me?" she said, exasperated. "That's my fucking girlfriend," she busts through the doors back into the ED, back through the hall. Her body carries her to the OR- the one that had been busy the entire time she'd been with the patient. She should have listened to her intuition, but Y/N was more important.

She stands outside, watching the skilled hands working over your battered body, lying there looking so lifeless. She's so shaken she's frozen in place, her feet unable to carry her in or out, or really anywhere. Her world stops, and she swore her heartbeat stopped too.

Before she can react, shout, scream, or cry, Dana's soft hands are on her arms, "Come on, hun, all we can do is wait." She didn't know why she listened to her, but she felt everything stop seeing her like that.

. . .

Many, many hours later, and well past her shift, Trinity wakes up by your bedside, barely remembering the blur of that evening. The rest of her shift melted, a rush of worry and fear with every move. She had hoped it was some nightmare she'd shake off. Her reality is grounded when she sees you, safe, okay. She instinctively checks the machine to monitor your heartbeat; it's steady, you're alive. The room is dimly lit, and she brushes her hair from her face, sitting up. It's night shift territory now.

She checks her phone, a text from Dennis offering to bring some clothes from home and something to eat, knowing she'd be so worked up over Y/N she wouldn't have any interest in food. It was a kind gesture. She sighed, sliding her phone back into her pocket. Her attention is brought to Y/N's gentle twitching. She waits there, patiently for Y/N to move again, for her to be alright. Trinity was terrified.

Y/N's head rested gently to the side as her eyes slowly fluttered open. Trinity pulled herself closer, cradling Y/N's face in her hands. She smiles and cracks up a nervous laugh. "Hey, Hey," she says gently. It takes her a while before she speaks, her voice hoarse and weak. "Hi," is all she mutters, and it is enough to make Trinity cry. "I'm sorry I stood you up." Y/N utters in a low rumble. That date that never happened. "Oh my god," Trinity chuckles with a bright smile, wiping her tears away. "You really fucking scared me," Trinity says.

"You are never going anywhere without me ever again," Trinity scolded, talking herself away from the rush of worry that pained her moments ago. "I thought I lost you," she says, it's soft and vulnerable. The words linger in the air. Trinity whispers now. "I love you, and I don't think I could live without you." she admits.

Y/N gently squeezes her hand with the arm that isn't injured. Her leg is in a cast, her head is pounding, she's terrified and aching, but Trinity's presence is enough to calm her and distract her from the pain. "I love you, Trin," Y/N said back gently. "Happy Pride month- now can you please get me something for the pain?" Y/N says, Trinity is quick to her feet. "Of course- I'll be right back." She says, exiting the room and closing the door gently behind her.

When she leaves the room, she realizes the curtain was open, and her colleagues just saw her in a very intimate moment. Jack Abbot stands there, his arms crossed, next to Dennis, who has just arrived with a coffee for Trinity. Shen turns around to his work station, sipping his iced coffee as if nothing had happened.

"You're okay..." He came over and sat in the chair, giant hands grabbing yours. "You...You don't hate me, do you?"

You blinked in surprise, "What do you mean? Are you referring to like Ozzie and Harvey?"

Biting down on the inside of your cheek for a moment, "You know none of that was your fault. It was Bane who hurt them, not you, and you were in Ark M, Bruce. There was no way you could stop it from happening. Same with Waylon."

Bruce stayed silent for a moment. Worry set deep in your heart as you watched him contemplate his next few words. You brushed his hair from his face to see the red puffiness around his eyes.

"Bruce-"

"I want you to move out of Gotham, somewhere else, anywhere else but here. So you won't get hurt." He got up to get going, "I'm gonna call in a friend to take you-"

"Bruce! What the hell are you saying?!" An aching feel surfaced in your chest, "I can't just leave you-"

"Yes, you can, and you will." Bruce refused to look at you at all. There was hoarseness to his voice. He felt pitiful; his voice was. Shaking at what he was saying to you.

A fact he wouldn't see you again.

"You can't just make that decision for me, Bruce! I made my choice in betting hit! This is my injury from my decision to help and protect you!"

"Don't be stupid-"

"The others made their choice! They wanted to know even after you refused so many times! You and they didn't ask for Bane to hurt them! They didn't willingly put themselves in enemy fire to protect you! I did because I wanted to!"

You doubled over at the pain in your stomach. Bruce's brows raised, eyes full of fear.

"Let me help, otherwise your gonna die, Bruce." So desperate looking at him. Furrowed brows deep in desperation. "Believe me I think you'll need me, us more than what you believe."

Bruce was at a loss of words. "You..."

"Like I told you that night...stay alive for me, and if I stay you'll be less reckless. Just let me stay, Bruce." Tears bellied themselves out of your eyes. Soft sobs from your lips.

"Don't make me leave, Bruce."

He came over and sat on the bed. His giant form dwarfing you. You clung to him, embracing him so very tightly.

"I'm sorry..." Guilt was buried itself into his chest. Could he let you leave when you were so desperate to stay. For now he'd let you stay.

Until then, he'll defend you, keep his life safe until ge finally gets you to a safe place, hopefully when you give up and leave.

WONDER WOMAN

Diana was beside herself

While occupied you were hurt after that exchange with the suicide squad

You were bleeding and burned.

So terrified to see this happen to you, almost watching death take you away from her.

____

She held your hand as you awoke from unconsciousness. Her blue hues full of tears when looking at your body that was bandaged with gauze and stitches.

Diana was so used to seeing you do these things on her and others. Diana wasn't at all use to herself healing you.

"Diana..." A whisper from your lips came. Eyes dull. Diana couldn't believe her mind and what it was thinking, but for a time, you needed to be gone.

You'd be able to heal easier.

"It's good to see you awake." She brushed your temple with her fingers. "Stay down. Keep there for now."

Your fingers wanted to cling to her. Diana shushed you with a sad sweet smile. Her heart ached deeply on her next words.

"[ ], I need to tell you something." Diana relayed to you, holding your hand gentle. Fingers brushing over your bandages softly. Her eyes centered on the small burn along your shoulder.

"What is it?" Your voice cracked. It was hoarse and dry. Diana huffed and let you have a drink of water.

"I want you to leave this fortress for a while. Steve is to leave soon and this will be the best time for you to heal and be safe."

Your eyes widened in shock. You shook your head, small tinge of pain in your neck from the movement. "No-"

"No, save your voice."

"I'm not going anywhere!" You refused to listen to her words. Diana huffed at you. Already you were pulling at your bandages. "I want to stay here!"

"You need to heal. You are going with Steve so you can heal." Diana gestured to your entire body.

"Look at yourself my dear. Burned minimally but there are injuries that'll leave scars. I'm afraid I won't use magic on you in case it hurts you."

Your eyes narrowed, "None of this was your fault. I hope you know that. It's my fault for not running fast enough. I was trying to help everyone else and I got hurt because of it. But I wanted to."

It was the same determination in your eyes that she had. Diana remembered her words when speaking to Steve about the labyrinth. The same notion that she would be okay no matter the circumstances.

"I made my bed and I'm laying in it. Diana, I'll be fine here. Trust me, I'm a tough cookie, and I'm willing to take your unconventional methods." You smiled big. It felt disturbing with all the bandages and burns on you, laying in this bed injured.

"Maybe even that witch at the party can help. Something tells me she's good."

Diana huffed. A smile morphed on her lips. "I believe I've left an impression on you."

"Never give up Diana. This is nothing, and i want to stay." You giggled as she pressed a kiss to your head.

"After all, who's gonna patch you and the others up the way I can?"

SUPERMAN

The parasite was able to get you but there was injuries on you from its destruction in Metropolis

He saved everyone that day but you still ended up getting hurt

He can't handle this. Is there a way to send you with you getting hurt.

Kal isn't sure how to keep you safe.

____

Kal was watching over you like a hawk. His ears keeping an eye on your heartbeat, making sure it never went away.

Even after putting on the cot on the floor he still felt the weight on you in his arms despite his strength. Kal couldn't get his eyes off you.

You needed to leave Metropolis, or something like that. How can he keep you safe? Kal wasn't sure in any slightest.

Speak of the devil. You awoke from your slumber. Eye sleepy and blurry looking up into Kal's very blue hues.

Voice hoarse calling out for him.

"You're okay..." His voice was strained, like then. That familiar frown his face was deeply upsetting. To solve it you cupped a hand onto the side of his face.

"What's got you so upset. I'm okay, that monster didn't do so much damage." Your reassurance didn't help the expression on his face. Your brows furrowed at sight.

Kal breathed in low and rough. Blue eyes narrowed and layered over with regret.

"I want you to leave Metropolis."

"Huh?"

"I can take you somewhere else. Safer than here. Somewhere and with someone that can protect you. Like that witch of the west Hawkman told me about. She can help you-"

You placed a finger to his lips, brows furrowed deep and concerned. "Wait. You can't make that decision for me."

Kal made a face.

"Don't act like that with me Mister! You may be all powerful, like a god, but i want to stay here despite the danger. Don't you use your head? The same happened with Lois and Jimmy!"

Kal shook his head, heart aching so hard against his chest. Heartbeat in his ears. "That's different!"

"No its not! And you know it! It's not your fault that the parasite monster came! It's on me to keep care of myself while you were figuring out what to do! None of this is your fault! I can take care of myself, Kal!"

You took his hands into yours linking fingers. A soft smile on your lips looking into his own blue hues.

"You'll always save me, i feel safe with you, Kal. Just like Lois said. You're Superman, a man that can definitely save everyone if you try hard enough. Don't bother what that Hawkman said."

Kal defaulted to a still body before hugging you. You giggled against his suit, clinging just as tight.

"Just promise me you'll be careful." Kal murmured, his voice sounding so somber, like before.

ruby was a little girl that arrived at the ed at around 2:14 pm. she presented with a cough and a fever that persisted for a few days resulting from a bug that had gone around her school. the administration was a little late in disseminating that information to the parents and that was why they were here. at least, that was what was told to me before i was sent down with some syrups for her to try to bring down the fever and ease the cough.

"hey, perlah," i greet the familiar face at the nurses' station, leaning against the counter, "i'm here for the 6 year old? ruby?"

"you sure took your sweet time getting here," she teased, sliding a chart over towards me.

"one of my patients just got out of surgery and would not let me out of his sight," i laugh softly, scanning the chart, brows furrowed, "had to wait for him to fall back asleep,"

perlah lets out a soft laugh too, "well, better hurry up and get to ruby so your patient upstairs won't wake up without you there - she's in south 15,"

"got it, thanks perlah," i smile, walking away while looking down at the chart.

now, remember how i said i had to remind myself to think extra quickly on my feet while navigating the floor and staying out of people's way? on this particular incident, i did not, and my shoulder ended up colliding with someone else's, my fingers just barely catching the chart that slipped from my grasp but thankfully whoever it was i bumped into managed to catch it.

"careful!"

"shit - sorry, sorry, and -" i sigh, taking the chart and looking up, "thank you, i guess, and sorry, again," i gently smack my mouth, "well, that's a dollar in the curse jar upstairs,"

the doctor i bumped into looks unimpressed, crossing her arms over her chest and her gaze falls on the chart, eyes narrowing, "that's my patient's chart,"

"oh," i look down at the area for the doctor's name, "doctor...santos," i look back up at her, quickly giving my name, "i'm the nurse from pedes, i came to give ruby her syrup and wait with her while they prep her room upstairs for observation - did they not - run it by you?"

she visibly relaxes at that, nodding, "yeah - yeah they did, she's in south 15,"

"thanks," i give her another smile, one that felt a bit more awkward, "sorry, again, i tell myself to pay more attention here and stay out of everyone's way -"

"don't worry about it," doctor santos gives me a tight-lipped smile, looking me up and down in a way i could not decipher, "just - keep your eyes up when you're walking around. if you'll excuse me, i've got other patients,"

"got it, i'll -" doctor santos walks past me and i watch her until she disappears into the crowd, "- update you on ruby later," i more or less finished that statement to myself, "nice meeting you too," i sigh, walking towards south 15 and definitely not reading the chart 'til i reached the door and stopped walking.

my knuckles rap against the door lightly, "knock, knock," i scan the room, giving ruby's parents a smile before standing beside ruby's hospital bed, "hi, ruby, i'm gonna be your nurse upstairs and they asked me to come down here and spend some time with you while they prepare your room," i give her my name before sliding into the seat beside her bed. "you've been feeling pretty bad, huh?"

ruby replies with a nod and a sniffle.

"i like your bunny," i nod at the stuffed animal she was hugging, "what's his name?"

"her - her name is bun-bun," ruby replies softly.

"her - got it," i shift a little closer, "bun-bun looks very cute,"

the kid smiles a little wider at that.

"now, ruby, before we go upstairs, i have some medicine you need to take, okay?" i pull out the bottle from my pocket, her chart on the table beside me, "it'll help you feel a bit better,"

ruby's lower lip wobbles and my heart just about breaks.

"it's just a little spoon -"

"no," she replies with a shaky voice, shoulders tensing up as she tries to curl away.

"it is not as bad as it sounds, ruby, pinky swear," i hold out a pinky to to ruby, "i can get you pudding from the cafeteria after, we've got strawberry, chocolate -"

"no!" the little redhead says stubbornly, looking away from me, "it's yucky,"

"honey, you have to take your medicine if you want to get better, you can't be sick for your cousin's birthday party, remember?" ruby's mother stands closer, resting her hand on ruby's shoulder.

"mommy, it's yucky!" ruby starts to cry and i pocket the bottle for now.

"it's okay, ruby," i offer a hand, palm side up, "there - no more medicine for now, 'kay?"

ruby's tears don't stop falling and that was when i got an idea.

"hey, ruby," i stand, walking over to the cart of supplies, slipping a felt tip pen from my pocket, "can i introduce you to my friend? maybe he'll help you feel better about taking your medicine,"

i don't see her reaction as i face the cart with my back to her and her parents. it was a dumb idea, but it usually worked with some of the younger patients. i blow up a glove, somehow managing to form it into a bunny, then i drew a face on it.

unbeknownst to me, doctor santos was watching me through the glass.

"ta-da!" i turn with a flourish, presenting my work of art to ruby, "this is my friend - erm - roberto," i settle back to the seat beside her bed, from the corner of my eye, i see her mother sit back down next to ruby's father, assessing my glove puppet with amusement. ruby, on the other hand, was quite enraptured, the arm around her stuffed bunny slowly going slack as she reaches for roberto, "if you hold him in your hand, he can try to make the medicine not taste as yucky anymore, like - an emotional support friend"

"...really?" ruby asks, a bit skeptical, and for a moment, her grip on bun-bun tightens.

"works for me," i shrug, "but you won't know unless you try it out, right?"

ruby thinks for a moment, then she nods. she clutches roberto with both of her little hands, bun-bun discarded beside her momentarily. i pour out the medicine into a spoon while she watches, still apprehensive of whether or not my trick was gonna work.

"ready?" i ask, "if it'll help, you can squeeze your eyes really, really tight, and when i say go, open your mouth and i can give you your medicine, okay?"

ruby is silent for a moment, then she does as i said, and her medicine dilemma was over quickly. her face scrunches for a moment, before she opens her eyes, smacking her lips, and i smile, "so, what do you think? did roberto help?"

ruby nods, looking down at the glove puppet shyly.

"take good care of him, okay?" i give roberto a tap, "you can keep him with you when you take your medicine, and even when you go home so your medicine won't taste so yucky, okay?"

"okay," ruby's nose wrinkles at what i assume was the aftertaste, "it still tastes plenty yucky,"

i smile, "would you like some pudding, miss ruby?

"yes please,"

"chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla?"

"chocolate please,"

"you got it," i smile wider, then i look to her parents, "mom? dad? pudding?"

they both shook their heads and i stand up, "right - well, i'm gonna do a quick pudding run and i will be back as quickly as i can," i clasp my hands together, "they're prepping her room upstairs so she can stay a bit for easier observation and i will take you guys upstairs when they page,"

"thank you so much," ruby's father smiles tiredly, and i exit the room with a polite nod to allow ruby's mom and dad return to standing by her side, each murmuring their own praises that she was able to take her medicine and the little girl proudly holds up roberto.

"you're good with her," comes doctor santos' voice, sliding up to walk beside me.

"well, good with kids comes with the territory," i laugh, pulling my handsanitizer from my pocket, the scent wafting up as i smear it on my hands, "and i hated syrups too, taste and texture - can't blame ruby for not liking the idea,"

doctor santos huffs out a laugh with a look over her shoulder towards ruby's room, "yeah, wasn't a fan of syrups either,"

"...anything else i can help you with?" i pause in my steps by an empty section of the floor, facing her with an expectant look on my face, "before i go get ruby's pudding,"

"no, i just wanted to - apologize for how short i was with you earlier, busy day, it slipped my mind that they were sending someone down," she sighs, rubbing her forehead with her palm.

"oh, don't worry about it," i laugh, "i didn't take it to heart if that was what you're worried about,"

doctor santos lets out a soft laugh and a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, but she perks up slightly after a moment, "you gotta teach me how to make those glove things,"

i laugh again, "trade secret," i tease, turning and starting to walk down the all towards the cafeteria, "maybe one day!"

later, sometime after i had taken ruby upstairs, doctor santos would find a glove puppet on top of ruby's chart, sitting neatly on the little spot she claimed as hers for the shift, and a note, my phone number scrawled on messily on top of a few words:

would love to teach you how to make them :). call me.

Trinity just hated your guts, plain and simple.

And to be honest you started to do too - at first you loved the prospect of getting a sister, sure a step one but still ! You really wanted her and you to get along, you really wanted her to like you. You thought you did actually, at the start your relationship was pretty good, you two got to know each others. You told her about your interests, your likes and dislikes and she told you about hers - she shared her want to study medicine and help people. You had started to grown close, going out together, just sitting in one another room while doing nothing just enjoying the others presence.

But then she switched and started to act like she did now - you didn't even know why she hated you so much. you didn't do anything to her, you'd have even asked her once 'did i do something to you ? Whatever i did i'm very sorry' and she just dry laughed in your face and pushed you out of the way (though you knew she didn't do it at full force, knowing her strength and how she'd once showed down a man that was way insist toward you and making you clearly uncomfortable while you two were out coincidentally at the same club )

Since that day you decide to just ignore it, whatever ! You were not a child anymore, you were grown, you were just going to ignore her behaviour. Plus it wasn't like you two saw each others that much since she started her resident - her having her own appartement and whatever. Though surprisingly she did text you quite often - mostly just sending you update on her week ( which you did not ask for but this allowed you to imagine that maybe maybe she didn't totally hate you ) to which you didn't answer much ( because when you did at first it made her ghost you for the next two weeks ).

It had been a good five months since you saw her when you got a text from your parents telling to come over for dinner next week, and they did precise that trinity could come too. Which admittedly you didn't look forward to seeing her again. But surely you two could just be civil over dinner right ?

No. You in fact could not. Well not so much you than trinity. It started with her just glaring at you. Then it evolved into snide and snarky comments and it stayed that way until your parents left you alone to do god knows what.

She made another comment, something dumb - a comment about what you were wearing. And it made you snap.

"Trinity shut the fuck up, for a second please," your tone stern.

She just let out a chuckles, "fighting back are you ?".

"Why can't you just ... treat me neutraly. Seriously I don't understand what you have against me." as you said that you stood up from where you were sitting at the table, plate in hand to put it in the sink.

As you were making your way to the kitchen, Trinity got up and followed you, she leaned against the wall while you were putting the plate in the sink.

"Did you have to follow me?" you said, throwing her a look.

"Yeah I had to actually," she always was so snarky, if she wasn't actually playing with your nerves you'd nearly find it attractive.

"You know, you act a lot like how boys in middle school do." you turned fully to face her, crossing your arms over your chest, "The whole pulling on a girl ponytail because you like her, very ... childish."

"Are you implying that I like you ?", you could notice that her smile that she always wore when arguing with you was strained, "you are so delusional", her voice low.

"I am not the one acting like a bully at my grown age," you took a step closer to her, "I think you do actually like me. You totally do and you are so embarrassed about it ..."

As you said that, you saw her actually blush a little - seems like you hit the nail on the head.

Trinity huffed, "Don't flatter yourself."

You walked closer, until she was a feet away.

"So if I'd let you touch me for once, to get it out of your system, you'd say no ?" you didn't really think about what you said until you did. But you figured that she'd just call you something mean and then run out of the kitchen.

Though you noticed how Trinity froze for a second.

"I ... I" she stammered, her eyes looking back and forth between your lips and the floor.

You leaned forward, "You ...?".

That pushed her over the edge. Her lips crashed on yours, her hands landing on your hips, squeezing them as she bites down on your lower lip - making you open them, allowing her to slot her tongue against yours. She let out a small whimper at - finally - being able to kiss you.

One of your hand made it ways to her hair, your fingers tangling themselves with her brown locks, the other settled on her chest, you could feel her heart beating oh so fast.

After what felt like an eternity she broke the kiss first, catching her breath, she let her forehead touch yours. She looked at you - silently asking to do more. You nodded lightly.

She pushed you - with care - against the kitchens counter, sliding her legs between yours, pressing into your crotch, the friction feeling terribly good.

"Fuck .. we shouldn't be doing that" she whispered.

"Shut up and kiss me."

Trinity obeyed, her lips once again crashing onto yours though this time it was more careful, sweeter.

As her leg was still pressed against your crotch, you moved your hips to get more friction, moaning into her mouth.

One of your hand sneaked in Trinity's shirt to fondle her breasts. She gasped at the feeling of your hand on it - her noises so sweet and desperate.

Her lips left yours, "Please, I, I need more," she said, her face was flushed, her tone carrying her embarrassment but she didn't care - not right now at least, she was doing what she dreamt about doing for as long as she knew you.

"Hmm, what do you need ?"

"Need to fuck you, or you fucking me, I don't care," she was so needy, it was cute.

"Are you wet ? Do you really want to have sex baby ?" you asked.

"Yes, yes please." As she said this she went in to kiss you again but you stopped her, clicking your tongue.

"No." You simply said, Trinity looked at you like a kicked puppy.

"We are not fucking tonight, you haven't earned it." While saying that you gave her nipple a tug before taking your hand out of her shirt. You gently deranged yourself from her.

She let out a whine, "But, but ...".

"No buts. If you behave like a good girl next time I see, we'll have sex. If you dont, no sex for you. Understood ?"

She nodded though not without pouting. You smiled - it was cute to see her like that, so obedient.

As you scrolled on your phone a little, your eyelids slowly growing more and more heavy with each post you saw, a message popped up at the top of the screen. It was your friend from university informing your group that the grades for this semester had come out. You'd waited for this day so very nervously and now it was finally here. You sat up in bed, opening the schools website to type in your login information. Nervously you wiggled your feet as the circle spun round and round before finally loading the 'results' page.

Pass. Pass. Pass. Pass. Fail.

The red F took up all of your vision, brain zeroing in on the one missuccess rather than the other accomplishments.

Fail.

The course grade had been dependent on a creative project final, one you had put thought and time into and didn't even think was so bad: you've definitely done worse than this.

Quickly you'd click on the critique notes to figure out whatever you'd done wrong to warrant being failed.

Design is of poor quality. Improvement of typography could have bettered image. Unclear Style.

You took a deep breath at that, opening the file you had submitted to check how if you could see what your professor saw. It was definitely far from your best work and you blamed it on typography simply not being your area of expertise and liking, so you might have slacked in this submission to favor other projects. The mighty F still stung though.

It spent the rest of the day eating away at you. Maybe not the grade itself, but the entire burden that came with it. This—Art and Design—it was the one thing you were supposed to be good at. The only thing that your grades allowed for you to pursue other than handy work. Fuck, you never wanted to be an Artist. You never considered yourself to be one and always cringed when people called you anything the like. If only you payed a little more attention back in school, you could've gotten better grades, a better diploma, a better university, a better chance. A better person?

You're breathing was shallow, palms pressing into your eye sockets until whites sparked in front of your eyes. Don't let this define you. Over and over. But how could you not? This was everything.

—

"We're home!"

Trinitys voice echoed all the way to where you were curled up on the bed. She sounded exhausted, understandably so. You couldn't even begin to imagine how tough it must be to do what she does on a daily basis. Even when Trinity let's you know a bare few slips and bits of her shifts in the Pitt, you always get tired by proxy.

You dragged yourself out to meet the two, them looking just as tired as they sounded. Trinity pulled you in for a quick kiss against your temple before going about her usual routine of catching a shower. It gave her time to think about the day and 'wash everything away'. Whether she meant that physically or in a very poetic sense of way you never figured out.

It was only you and Dennis then and you watched the blonde prepare a quick dinner. He was surprisingly good at cooking, which served both you and Trin well since you're both absolute Zeros in the kitchen.

You still remembered when Trinity took Dennis in like he was a stray. Granted: You were one too, having found the listing for the apartment on Ebay in a desperate attempt to get housing somewhat near your university. It was an ordinary two bedroom and Dennis had to spend a good while on the sofa. Eventually though you realized the inconvenience of always having to sneak around him to get to trinitys room at night and figured you'd do everyone a favor and directly moved your stuff into her bedroom. Dennis was very thankful that his new bedroom—your old one—was on the other side of the apartment.

There were both perks and downsides to living with two doctors. The house was empty for most of the day which allowed you some alone time but also made it feel pretty lonely. Then there was their medical chatter which you couldn't even pretend to understand. It made you feel left out from time to time as well, but having two live-in doctors was a good trade off for listening to them chatting about medical procedures you can't even begin to pronounce.

Out of nowhere it burst out of you, a hand running through your hair.

"How did you—" you paused, thinking of how to articulate this without sounding insulting "How'd you manage to become a doctor, considering everything."

Dennis looked back at you from where he stood at the stove, brows slightly furrowed as he eyed your uneasy expression. Something was off with you, but he wasn't able to tell exactly what, deciding to leave it to trinity instead.

"I guess I just really wanted it." he shrugged, turning back.

The answer wasn't satisfactory for you. Really wanted it, like you didn't want to become something too. You decided to prod further.

"What if you wouldn't have been good enough tough? Like failed the exams and stuff."

The silence was heavy then, only the exhaust fan and sizzling pan sounding through the room.

Dennis shook his head, keeping his eyes trained on whats in front of him with a quiet chuckle, almost like he disbelieved his own achievements. "Would've tried again, probably. I still think I would have made it, because it's what I wanted."

So he was just going to stick with that answer then? It annoyed you because it probably was the truth. Dennis was resilient and despite his mousy looks he could move the unmovable if he wanted to. You couldn't even blame him. He probably had nothing left but hoping and wanting, which did end up working out for him. Maybe you should give it a shot but how could you believe in making it when you very clearly weren't.

—

It was pretty obvious something was gnawing at you and despite your efforts to act as unbothered as possible, Trinity had caught on. She noticed immediately how your eyes were focused on the TV but nothing register in your head. You only laughed at the funny moments when you heard Dennis and Trinity cracking up about it and it definitely wasn't genuine. Trinity knew your laugh and this wasn't it.

When you excused yourself to the bathroom to get ready for the night, Trinity gave Dennis a look of Are you seeing this too? The man just nodded and watched as trinity went up to follow you into the bathroom.

You had just washed off your face and applied some of the night lotion you saw recommended all over everywhere. It didn't exactly help, no products ever did. Your pimples kept coming back and your pores stayed clogged. Truthfully you were only still pushing through this routine because you told yourself that you were at least trying. Maybe that was a common theme, trying everything that you can to fix yourself but never ending up with the results of your efforts. Or maybe you were thinking too much about it again.

The door creaked gently as Trinity slipped inside, shutting it behind her so very gently. She watched you go about your routine, noticing nothing inherently unusual except the lack of enthusiasm in your eyes. She didn't know how to go about confronting the situation despite how desperately she wanted to. The silence lingered for quite a while, only the sound of the faucet running filling the space.

It was at least once every other month you struggled with your decisions career-wise, a persistent issue that could be helped by nothing. Trinity figured this was it by the way you looked slumped and barely taking a minute to look at yourself in the mirror. You could never face yourself during times like these since it felt so depersonalizing. You wanted things and then you didn't, it nauseated you to have a human soul that's imperfected by doubt.

Trinity sighed, her stance untensing slightly. "You should do what makes you feel good."

"I'll feel good when this is all over" you murmured, smearing the last white streaks of lotion to disappear on your forehead.

You said it a lot and Trinity always figured that you meant for this doubtful phase to end but from time to time she thought about how much more it could mean. Worry always settled in her gut in moments like these, having been in your place before so many times and knowing just how tempting it can be to give up. But you were resilient, right? You'd make it through this one too.

As you sighed, hands leaning in the rim of the sink, you managed to admit the truth even if it sounded ever so pitiful for it to be something to be upset about.

"I failed one of my courses." your voice broke a little " And—I don't know, maybe I'm just not meant for this."

Trinity knew exactly what that was like, giving a gentle shrug.

"So what, you failed one of your classes, big deal. You were just off-game for once, it doesn't mean anything."

Oh it meant everything to you.

But how do you explain that to a doctor, whos mistakes cause people to die. Your mistake only causes for you to feel like shit for a day or two, so did it really matter? Did it matter what you were good and bad at? Did it even matter what you do at all?

You knew Trinity wasn't trying to brush you off, casual deflection was her approach to almost every situation and deep down you knew that you could simply repeat the course next semester and nobody would glance at the grade profile ever again either. It still stung though to not have been perfect on the first go in such an easy course of study.

But you let it go for the night, hoping that by tomorrow things would look different.

—

When morning finally rolled around after a restless night, one where Trinity held you extra tight o her chest for reasons you both leave unacknowledged, you still weren't looking much better at all.

There was still a visible storm behind your eyes even when you dragged yourself out to have breakfast with Dennis and your girlfriend before they left for another one of their shifts. Both her and him could see how you were just a shell, your usual spark dulled. Usually you were the creative muse of the household, bringing nonsensical but full-hearted energies and encouragements into the arrangements that would manage to get your two favorite doctors through their shifts for another day. Now they were sent off without it and it felt oddly hollow.

This hollow feeling carried every single one of you through your day. The eye of the storm before you found the world crashing around you sooner or later. Something that Trinity should definitely be used to by now, working in the ED and all but it snuck up on her just about halfway through her shift.

A gurney flew past from the emergency bay, doctors scrambling immediately to assess whatever poor soul fell victim to the worlds cruelty this time. Trinity only caught a glance before they disappeared into Trauma One. A blood-smeared face, tousled hair and zero movements. She caught the conversation, just bits and chunks.

Attempted Suicide.

The face, the hair, the descriptors. It all became far too real. Trinity stumbled, tried squeezing into the room with the rest. She had to be there, had to be sure. From somewhere behind her she heard Dana grumbling at her to get back to her charting, to sit this one out.

"There's enough hands in there as is, another pair will do more harm than good."

When Trinity turned instead of stubbornly continuing to insist, Dana saw her pale face and unfocused eyes brimming with tears.

"Was that my—" she couldn't even breathe anymore "I-I think—"

Dana was over there in a second, grabbing Trinity by her shoulders as if she could personally tug her out of whatever head space she was in.

"Woah kid, cool it. Whoever that was Doctor's gonna do their best to fix her right up."

Trinity nodded, but the words barely even registered. "Right. Right, you're right. I just need to—to make a call."

She was off before anyone could ask, headed straight for the stairwell as she already tugged her phone out of her pocket.

One ring,

second ring,

third ring.

"Come on pick up." She paced nervously, lip between her teeth. "pick up, pick up, pick up."

Fourth,

fifth,

six—

"Yes?"

Trinity almost collapsed at once, all her muscles weak from having been straightened tight for so long. You could hear her audible sigh of relief and the scuff of her sneakers as she sat down on the stairs.

"How's it going you big nerd," she teased, trying to stay cool but not able to hide the small waver in her voice "Reapply for your course yet?"

You just chuckled, obviously in a better mood than you'd been last night and this morning. You did in fact get a head start, having re-read the critique and improving your own design for practice so that you could do better next semester.

"You call me just to be mean now?"

"No I—" Trinity swallowed, revisiting the past 5 minutes and looping them in her mind over and over. The fear and dread of knowing she couldn't save another one. "I worry."

The way her voice wavered off had told you everything you needed to know.

"I'm still here." You reassured, simple as that. A promise you weren't going anywhere if you could help it. Something Trinity learned to take with skepticism but something that also never felt more needed.

Trinity nodded silently, looking down at her feet for a moment as she sat hunched over. She knew she needed to get back to work but her limbs still felt like spaghetti and she never wanted for her shift to end more than now.

"Stay on the phone with me for a minute?" It was a small and quiet request that spoke so much louder than anything else.

—

Trinity was hardly able to focus for the rest of her shift once you two had hung up the phone. Meanwhile back at home you'd already prepared for her arrival. She usually never lets herself be spoiled, so on occasion you'd take advantage of really bad shifts like this to go all out on her.

When the two stepped through the door you were already there, giving your girlfriend the tightest hug you could as Dennis gave you both a knowing look.

You guided Trinity straight to the bathroom so she could go about her usual post-shift shower, carefully helping her undress without much protest before stepping into the shower alongside her. There was a special kind of tenderness to moments like these, knowing that all words would fail because there's nothing that can be said to make Trinity forget the images flashing in front of her whenever she closed her eyes.

"You're so good at this." she murmured, hands resting on your hips as you toweled her hair off after the shower. Trinity felt a little bad about how good you were with taking care of her when yesterday all the encouragement she could give you was an indirect just keep going.

You hummed softly, not really minding the contradictions. "I guess this is just part of my thing."

Trinity chuckled "You'd make a great nurse."

"I'd cry at every other opportunity."

"Exactly!"

You had to laugh at that yourself, although registering it in the back of your mind. You've thought about changing your career but were stumped by what exactly you'd even want to do and be good at and the fact that time wasn't exactly in your favor. Of course there was always pressure to just know what you're doing, even when you barely just moved out of your parents place.

For now you settled for pressing a soft kiss to trinitys lips before she sighed.

"I wish I would've chosen a different, easier career too sometimes." she admitted, something that actually helped soothe your doubts a little "but I guess nobody really has it easy."

You rolled your eyes a little "I think you've got it a bit harder than me."

Trinity took it with humor, knowing exactly that being a doctor definitely was harder than being an Illustrator in many aspects.

"Well," she'd hum "You may have an easier job, but you've got me to deal with on top of that."

You lay awake in the dead hours of the night, alone in a bed that you usually share. Today was the day of Diana’s return and she was unfamiliarly late. You couldn’t sleep no matter how hard you tried, your mind racing a mile per minute. In your fruitless attempts to fall asleep, the more time you realized had passed. 

What feels like another eon goes by before you hear the front door open and close. You perk up immediately, standing  from the bed. You felt your stomach jump at the thought of her. You hadn’t seen Diana in two weeks; a part of you couldn’t say you were used to it just yet, but her return was always more forgiving than not.

Diana pushes the bedroom door open and strides towards you.

“Love…” She says, breathless, her arms immediately envelope your waist as she presses the side of her cheek to yours before snuggling into the secret spot between your neck and shoulder. She inhales sharply. 

“You’re late.” You mumble into her hair. “I was worried.” You add.

Diana hums in response, her hands sliding over your backside, gently pulling you even closer to her. She places a gentle kiss on the skin just below your ear. Your eyes flutter at the mere contact. She knew what she was doing wholeheartedly. 

A beat passes before the two of you speak simultaneously:

“I missed you.” 

You share a soft laugh before Diana whispers into your neck again, “I definitely missed you more.” She says, punctuating her statement with another kiss to that familiar area on your neck. You pull away slightly to face her. You needed a moment to admire your lover and take in her features, her presence, her scent– all of it. She tilts her head, her lips curling into a grin before putting her forehead against yours. She nips softly at your upper lip, a shaky exhale following suit. You capture her breath in your mouth as your lips almost immediately tangle with hers. Her mouth was warm and slick against yours in equal measure. Diana’s hand snakes up from your back and up your torso, her hand making a stop over your chest as it rests firm, but gentle over your neck. 

She pulls you even closer with that same hand as you lick into her mouth. You hold her head as she tilts it while her own tongue finds yours. You moan low and deep when you feel her mouth engulf your tongue, sucking it into her mouth sinfully. Diana continues kissing you, like she was starving– as if she were parched and the wetness of your mouth was her only hydration. She sucks and sucks, trading your tongue for your top lip, and then your bottom. You bit down, hard enough to earn a warm gasp into your mouth accompanied by a buck of her hips against yours.

 You knew all of Diana’s weak points. All of the moves that made her make sounds no one but you could hear. Your bite sent her over the edge, her body it as the final checkpoint before losing control. She pulls back, her breathing thick and heavy. 

“I need you,” You confess against her mouth. She nods as she pulls your sleep shirt over your head, discarding it elsewhere. You reciprocate, unbuttoning her shirt as you two breathe and gasp against each other’s lips. Diana loses her shirt and presses her warm chest to yours, eager to share body heat once again. She moans softly at the contact, her hands moving to your hips as she pulls you closer. Her hips roll firm against yours, the friction making you gasp in response. It’s been weeks since you’ve seen Diana. Weeks of being devoid of touch, intimacy, her. To say you were needy would be an understatement, but you could tell Diana needed it just as bad, if not worse. 

You push her backwards until she falls back against the bed; you tug on her pants and underwear combined until they’re pooled around her ankles. She kicks them off, and you follow, tugging down your own underwear, leaving the two of you bare. You sink to your knees in front of Diana, your hands resting on her kneecaps. She sits up on her elbows abruptly. 

“No…no,” She mumbles. “Not yet.” 

Diana pats her lap, “Come here.” 

You rise from the floor and find your spot as you straddle her hips. “I just– I want to feel you.” She whispers, her hips grinding up against you. You whimper shamelessly at the contact, warm and familiar. Diana’s hands find your hips as she moves again, this time, the action pulling a moan from her too.

“Missed you so much, baby.” She breathes, her hips steady in movement, the friction dragging at your clit continuously. The feeling of her god-like body bucking under you with no breaks combined with her strong hands digging into your hips caused your head to drop forward. A soft, “Fuck…” leaving your lips. 

Diana looks at you with low, sinful eyes before taking this opportunity to pull you flush against her chest, her knees bending to keep efficiently grinding up into you, more closely this time. She whimpers with you directly on top of her, the two of your bodies wholly in contact. She moves her hips a little faster and you could practically feel yourself getting wetter. 

Her hand finds the back of your head as she forms a grip full of hair. She pulls you back, leaving enough space for her to leech onto your jaw and suck and lick. She drags her tongue over your throat all the way to the other side of your face, until her mouth is by your ear. She licks a stripe along the shell of your ear. Your hands grope Diana’s breasts as her body wavers under yours while simultaneously tugging on your hair. She curses under her breath as your bodies move in sync. 

“Need…more.” You manage to get out in between strangled moans. Diana doesn’t stop moving, instead her mouth latches onto yours as she speaks against your lips, “Yeah?” She breathes. She loosens the grip in your hair. “Lay down for me.” She whispers into your ear. 

You listen and pull off of her lap, laying on your back in the bed space beside Diana. You sit up on your elbows as she grabs a pillow. She cradles your head, tucking the pillow under you attentively. “Relax, my love.” She murmurs. 

Diana kisses your jaw and down the side of your neck. Her lips trailing, slow and sloppy from your collarbone to your chest. She sucks, leaving a mark right above your breast. She grabs a tit with one hand, her fingers pinching the sensitive buds while she takes the other into her mouth. You moan at the contact of her hot and wet mouth sucking your nipple wantonly. You hold her head, your body buzzing with anticipation and need. 

“Please.” You gasp. Hurry up, she heard. You can feel her grin against your chest as she comes off your bud with a small pop. She kisses your sternum, trailing agonizingly slow kisses down your stomach until she reaches your hips. Her strong hands curl over your quads, pulling you closer to her face with ease. You feel the heat of Diana’s breath against your pussy and your eyes flutter in response. She licks a teasing and slow stripe down the middle. 

Diana hums against your clit, her mouth engulfing it entirely. You gasp into a moan, the vibrations making your hands grip the bedding. Diana licks and laps at your pussy, taking turns sucking your clit in between. She taps your thigh, signaling for you to look at her. 

You catch her gaze, only being able to see her eyes, for the rest of her face was buried deep between your legs. She forces you to hold eye contact as she continues humming into you. You feel a coil tighten in your stomach already. Your head was spinning, and all you could focus on was her and her mouth hungrily digging you out. 

Just when you thought you were teetering the edge, you feel Diana’s long middle finger slip into you with ease. Your feel her finger curve ever so slightly as she pushes it in and out. Diana continues to suck your clit and you continue to practically cry out. You grab a handful of her curls, your grip tighter than intended because she lets out a sharp, resonant moan, the vibrations coursing through you once again. 

You rut yourself against her face, still holding her by her hair for support. She fucks into you with her slender fingers as her tongue works even harder on your clit. Your thighs clench around Diana’s head, but her mouth keeps moving, her jaw almost slack against your pussy. 

“Oh my god.” You mewl. 

Diana’s hand goes to press down on your lower stomach while lapping at you continuously. You feel the crown of your head heat up exponentially and your toes curl in on themselves. Your legs clench tighter around her as she moves in and out of you still. 

“Diana…” You moan loudly. She just moves faster– more intentional. She knew you were close to cumming, no need to tell her. Not now. 

Before you knew it, you were clenching around her fingers and gripping her hair with a concerning amount of force. Your back arches and your eyes cinch shut, your body trembling under Diana. Your chest heaves up and down and you have to physically push Diana off of you. 

She raises her head and her flushed face makes you smile. Her curls were stuck to her forehead and her lips were shiny with your wet. She grins up at you, her eyes hooded in ecstasy. 

Diana crawls up to meet your face as she pulls your lips in to kiss you again. She lets you taste yourself on her tongue as it slips into your mouth. You share a needy, messy kiss, one full of longing and lost time.

By the time the two of you break apart, you’re both huffing for air. She breathes softly against your lips. You tuck a loose curl behind her ear and kiss the bridge of her nose gently.