“Don’t lie”

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“Don’t lie”

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pretty good deal if I do say so myself
The core
one of the most devastating aspects of orufrey’s relationship to me is the fact that, by qifrey’s own account, olruggio has rediscovered his secret too often to keep track of— and he still chooses to forgive qifrey in each and every instance he learns, again, about the silverwood disease. we can easily assume his finding out manifests differently every time— maybe it comes as a confession, maybe it’s like a twisted problem that olruggio conspires to work out for himself, maybe it’s something blurted in the thick of an argument; maybe it comes with uneasy acceptance, maybe it’s more of a struggle to make olruggio understand— but no matter the symptom, his cause is always the same without fail. olruggio has never once hesitated to sacrifice everything he is for qifrey’s sake; he has never once considered being spiteful, keeping his own memory intact and letting qifrey shoulder his burden alone. in all their time enduring that same, indefinite cycle— ouroboros the whole way down— the thought to act selfishly has never, not even once, crossed olruggio’s mind
qifrey is such a tragic character it makes me feel physically ill. what the FUCK do you mean he is kept alive by guilt alone. what do you MEAN every time he's happy, proud of the girls, comfortable with olly, the only thing keeping him here is crippling guilt. oh my god. oh my godddddddddd.
And it's the fact that those conditions would ordinarily drive anyone into abject misery to the point of life no longer being worth living, but Qifrey promised to stay alive in the pinnacle of "I would die for you" and "I want you to LIVE for me" (which, by the way, I'm crying screaming throwing up about).
(side note: i also think its deeply tragic that Olly puts on SUCH a brave face for Qif here. Like Qif is DYING. Qif is in pain, he's dying, he's being confronted with the idea of erasing his best friend's memory and that alone causes him enough anguish to die less, meanwhile Olly is playing at complete nonchalance even though he must also be terrified that his best friend who he loves enough to sacrifice his memory for, who he wants to grow old with, is literally Detroit: Become Tree'ing in front of him)
But what gets me is that Qifrey REPEATEDLY puts himself on the line, he almost dies at least twice (once with the Romonons, once in his childhood when he just walks straight out into the ocean). He's reckless to a fault, even Olly notices. He will make life worth living, or he will die trying. but also life just does not give him a fucking break.
ugh. god. i love him.

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Have you guys thought of a tipsy Olruggio telling Qifrey something like “I’d climb you like a tree”, which is a dangerously flirty line on its own, but one that gives Qifrey just enough life-saving stress to keep him afloat?
manga readers how are we feeling about today's episode
To hurt means that you are alive.