That overwhelming feeling, the feeling of being alive and dead - perhaps like a zombie 🧟♀️? I call it Zombie-Attack.
As if everything around you is foggy and blurry, as if you are trapped in your own body, trapped in a strange simulation. You might think: "WTF, I've gone mad." - but it's not psychosis... I do perceive reality, only it seems artificial. Like I'm stuck in a hazy dream.
It sounds like the experience of people who take drugs and have a bad trip... except I don't take drugs...
It is 'Derealization' and 'Depersonalization'.
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Derealization - a mental state where you feel detached from your surroundings. People and objects around you may seem unreal. Even so, you're aware that this altered state isn't normal.
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Depersonalization - feeling disconnected or detached from one's self. Individuals may report feeling as if they are an outside observer of their own thoughts or body...
My advice:
I let it pass through me! The resistance increases those feelings and fear. I accept it and surrender in this black void, as if I were floating alone in a black divine ocean. I like to think that I am being carried by the Great Mother or Black Madonna and everything is fine. I let it happen and allow myself to experience it.
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Other tips:
- Utilize your senses in any way possible.
- Count something in the room. Identify what they are, or say your first and last name, the name of your parents and siblings... where you went to school...
- Read, call a friend...
- Go through the 5 senses with your surroundings...
- Or just lay down and say fuck it: "I don't care if I become insane.", or "If I have to die, i'll die.." - and surrender, experience it and let it all happen.
