#trash squared

@akitania​ asked for the dvd commentary meme on this section of notations in a pulmonary vein!!i believe this fic had ended up being written after watching those super special episodes and reading bits of the novel relevant to it and finding out…izaya’s pov on it (shinra as one of his top formative teen experiences!!! shinra being cheerful and egging izaya into helping him hunt cryptids!!! izaya being apathetic towards literally E v e r ything until this one weird guy kept asking him to form a 2-person club and be bffs….to impress a girl) with bonus of shinra still claiming that izaya was an ‘asshole but also my friend’ as adults!!! i don’t know what weird combination of factors was in their storyline but there was a lot of [internal yelling into the void]!!!!!

2 worse people becoming friends and…making each other even worse with their bad ideas… *chinhands*

without further ado, here is the commentary!!

“Orihara-kun?”This was unusual.“What is it?”“Are you doing anything today?”Even more unusual.

the funny thing is, when watching drrr!! you don’t really know that shinra and izaya are friends at all, re: see celty’s surprise that the 2 knew each other when shinra told the story about his scar. and still you get these vague negative-space shaped hints…how izaya calls shinra sometimes, even if it’s not for his job as an informant. how shinra still answers his phone calls (albeit hanging up quickly after). for all the monologuing they do about how they don’t care about individual people (other than the world: izaya;, and celty: shinra) and despite at first glance how they’re really very bad at most individual bonds there’s this weird friendship that they didn’t drop for like…close to a decade…and that means something about both of them, even if it’s badly defined between 2 amoral side characters

i expect that it’s rare for shinra to ever call izaya for something though your guess is as good as mine how many times a day that izaya texts a picture of like…a garbage can or a broken flashing traffic light to shinra and asks him is dis u?

Izaya gets a garbled anecdote about a cat-shaped pillow in an arcade, a trio of delinquents, and a glass bottle placed inconveniently on a sidewalk.

shinra was trying to get a nice present for celty; ie why he didn’t call celty for help. your guess is good as mine what happened between shinra and the delinquents though

A crush of honking noises floats to their ears, mingling with scattered cawing of a swirl of crows.

i just like this line a lot there’s nothing else i have to say about it :DD

“Well,” Shinra starts and runs his fingers through his hair, a bewildered expression on his face as he looks from the roof beneath him to Izaya and back to the roof again.

the nice thing about having a bff from middle school is that they are well aware of all the top five dumbest things you ever did and get to bring it up forever into immortal memory.  izaya got treed by dogs up a telephone pole that one time #iconic, so shinra gets his time to shine here

i didn’t mention it, but tiny middle/high school shinra is sitting on the roof hugging a ginormous orange cat-face-shaped pillow as big as his own torso which is also why he can’t figure out how to climb down by himself without dropping it

i don’t think izaya is willing to help him carry it…at all

“What are you doing?” Shinra hisses.“Are you sure your glasses are still working? Climbing this, of course.”“Why?”“If you can’t get down, I can push you.” The fall wouldn’t do more than break an ankle. Most likely.

for @defeateddetectives 

who’s the werewolf and who’s the hunter: hunter shinra who just doesn’t really take his hunting job v seriously and lets werewolf izaya do his his werewolf thing

who’s the mermaid and who’s the fisherman: fisherman shinra probably just wants to dissect all the mermaids including merman izaya D: welp congrats izaya, you’re finally ~interesting~!

who’s the witch and who’s the familiar: shinra is the witch. izaya provides irritated commentary in the background and talks shit about his technique as poorly-veiled concern 

who’s the barista and who’s the coffee addict: i mean i’m still not sure if shinra actually formally studied medicine at some point or just taught himself all the underground trauma surgery stuff but he sure as hell had to pore over enormous textbooks at some time or other and had ample opportunity to live off caffeine. enter barista izaya who actually doesn’t give a shit about his job until this weird pseudo-medstudent starts practically living in the corner of his cafe.

who’s the professor and who’s the TA: shinra is the professor. izaya is the TA that skips out on work making shinra grade all the terrible undergrad papers on his own

who’s the knight and who’s the prince(ss): lmao lmao fucking miserable dark knight izaya is canon and i’m in a~go~ny~

who’s the teacher and who’s the single parent: i tragically cannot either of them doing any sort of parenting so we are at an impasse.  big brother izaya is the closest thing in canon. alternatively, maybe they can both be snippy biology teachers.